HAPPY FESTIVUS! (We now commence with the airing of the food-related grievances)

[WillTravelForFood]

As tradition states, the airing of the grievances begins with : "I got a lot of problems with you people and now you're gonna hear about it."

Let the (food-related) grievances begin!

• Whoever preheats the oven with the racks in the wrong place, which you only discover when your hands are full with whatever you were about to put into the hotbox -- which forces you to find a place to put the food back onto the counter, track down a hot-pad, move the racks around, etc --- all of which brings the oven temperature back down and potentially throws off your planned cooking time
• STOP PUTTING KNIVES IN THE DISHWASHER POINTY SIDE UP.
• "Is the propane tank full?"
  - yes
  "Are you sure? We grilled a lot this week."
  - of course
  "Okay, company is arriving in an hour, let me get started with the cooking stuff"
  ..... somebody didn't close the regulator and the tank is now empty .....
• Mystery containers in the freezer.
• Putting the empty jar of peanut butter back onto the pantry shelf. "There's plenty left!", they say.

oh, there'll be more. Festivus is not over yet.
​

[scottranda]

Food savers that don’t seal!

People that are not neurotic about heating things up in the microwave.

[HawkerXP]

People who don't cover their food in the microwave!

[scottranda]

HawkerXP I never cover because I’m neurotic!

[Henrik]

You had me at "Festivus..." That episode is one of the best out there! Anywho, let's see if I can chip in:

- Stacking plates/cups/whatever in a ridiculously tight manner wth the idea that the dishwasher can handle anything you throw at it, only to discover plates/bowls with food stuck on them when opening the dish washer later. It's just a dish washer folks, not a magic contraption!

- Keep chopping food with a knife so dull you don't know if you're holding it upside down or not, instead of just bringing out the honing steel (or better yet: the sharpener....)

Ok, let's hear your grievances folks!

[Troutman]

My wife does this routinely, it bugs the crap out of me. She refuses to run the dishwasher unless it’s packed full.

[pkadare]

As a corollary to your dishwasher comment, putting something back in the dishwasher that didn't get washed correctly the first time resulting in food that is even more baked on to the dish in question. Arrgggh!

[Panhead John]

I’m totally with you about the knives, all silverware actually. WHY would anyone want to pick up pointy knives or forks, from the dishwasher with the handles down?!? First off, it takes more time to unload, as you have to maneuver your fingers to keep from getting stuck. ALL silverware should be placed in the dishwasher…handles up! There’s also the cleanliness factor, touching the utensils from the part you put in your mouth? I just don’t get it why some people do that.

(This isn’t food related, but I don’t care) Don’t get me started on toilet paper wars! Over the top people! Not from behind the roll. I’ll be back with more later.

[pkadare]

I touch actual food that goes into your mouth when I cook. I'm not too worried about touching fork tines, spoon bowls, etc. when I empty the dishwasher. Wash your hands, problem solved. I do agree with pointy sharp things going down with the exception of fork tines. I've yet to see food stuck on the blades of my knives and it isn't like they are resting in dirty water.

[Mark V]

Pointy side down will cut into the plastic tray. With time, could be a problem. So mom told me, and you don't want to argue with her.

[Panhead John]

I’ll say this, I’ve been putting silverware with the handles up, pointy side down my whole life and I’ve NEVER had a problem with silverware not getting clean or cutting the plastic bottoms. What are you doing Mark, stabbing them in place? 😂 As long as you don’t try putting 20 pieces in one slot, they’ll be clean. Just don’t overcrowd them in the basket.

[RonB]

Not sealing bags properly so that the chips or whatever go stale quickly...

[Troutman]

But Panhead John, you live by yourself. So not properly storing foods is a you thing. If that’s the case you need to slap your own pee pee 🤣🤣

[WillTravelForFood]

jfmorris technically speaking, isn't ALL cereal pre-stale anyway?

[Panhead John]

jfmorris Here’s what I do. Take the bag out of the cereal box, throw the box away. You don’t need it and all it does is take up space. I roll the bag closed and use potato chip clips to seal it. Anyone using the cereal bag "should" close it back with the clip.

[Spinaker]

#1) Hearing one more person ask me what kind of smokers I have......and then asking if I have ever heard of a Traeger.

"Oh, I have a smoker, it's a Traeger, Have you ever heard of Traeger before?"

"I just love my Traeger."

"Nothing better than a Traeger."

"Yeah, it's a smoker......its a Traeger. It runs on pellets."


#2) "Yo, you wanna come over for dinner?" Which translates to "You wanna come over and make me and my family dinner?"

[jfmorris]

Oh Lord, this one is spot on. So many times I've told someone I smoked something on a kamado, and I've been asked if I have a Traeger or a Big Green Egg. I almost think some folks with a BGE or Kamado Joe don't know that their grill is a "kamado". Even when its in the name...

[Richard Chrz]

For the win on the internet

[Spinaker]

The worst is hearing someone with a Traeger tell you how awesome said Traeger is. LOL. jfmorris

[Murdy]

Keeping spices well past their useful life.

[klflowers]

Me too on both these replies

[SmokingPat]

One solution I read (maybe here?) was to taste the spice, and if it was 'weak', add more of it. But If I cooked enough that I could recognize the flavor of a 'weak' spice -- I wouldn't have old spices on my shelf!

[Mr. Bones]

Jar ain't empty, jus yet, though, I gosta say...

[dubob]

Posting a cooking report without PICTURES - AAAARRRGGH! Get out the tar & feathers.

[Caffeine88]

Tossing the dish towel/dish rag in the laundry WHILE I'M STILL USING THEM! For goodness sake, let me at least finish drying my hands.

Asking for ketchup or salt when you've just been served a fine piece of cow from my grill or skillet. Away from table, please, you shan't be asked to return.

Brussel sprouts.

[dubob]

So Dude (Troutman), I'm uniting - love me some sprouts. ☺️

[Jim White]

And if you're going to take the towel away while I'm working, at least have the decency to get a clean one out of the drawer before I look for the towel with grubby hands!

[Richard Chrz]

I don’t even have ketchup in my house.

[WillTravelForFood]

Brussel sprouts.

As long as Brussels are prepared properly, they're quite fine. Problem is, most people's experience with Brussels are from horrible preparations.

Brussels should be tossed with bacon fat and roasted to crispy, not served steamed and mushy. Blech.

In that vein: anyone who serves mushy, overcooked vegetables in general. Yuck.

[Craigar]

Thanks for the tip Troutman!

[Panhead John]

Troutman As a hater of Brussel sprouts, since I was a kid, I’ll make you a deal. You caught my attention with your little cabbages comment. I like cabbage. Tell us your favorite way to prepare them and I’ll give it a shot. I will also post my honest review here on AR.

[Caffeine88]

Panhead John I'll believe it when I see it.
You're far too invested in hating Brussel sprouts. (trust me.... I hate Brussel sprouts and even I'll eat them with bacon. But never admit it😁) Troutman has no chance to win this bet.

[WillTravelForFood]

Posting a cooking report without PICTURES - AAAARRRGGH!

Online recipes that have 10 pages of story background to accompany the recipe itself.

Not an issue with the story - there's value and entertainment in that info, plus it helps for copyright purposes -- but when you're trying to cook the dish and follow along, it's trying to FIND the recipe over and over again for reference that's the issue.

We understand you want to tell us where you found the exotic flavor and how it inspired you blah blah blah. We've already read your story a year ago when we bookmarked the fable youwrote-- but NOW we just want to cook your dish again, darn it.

scroll scroll scroll
is this it?
no?
dang.
scroll scroll scroll

[Murdy]

The recent trend has been to include a link that takes you directly to the recipe. However, as I recall, that was not always the case.

[gboss]

You can't copyright a recipe so they need enough content to otherwise justify a copyright. Really, really annoying.

[Polarbear777]

Can’t stand this. I drop all recipes into paprika before I ever start looking at them. Can always delete if it sucks.

Also directions that are not time sequential or have stories buried in the steps.

[pkadare]

(This isn’t food related, but I don’t care) Don’t get me started on toilet paper wars! Over the top people! Not from behind the roll. I’ll be back with more later.

This is the actual patent drawing from the inventor of the perforated toilet paper roll. This should put paid to any such debate.

[pkadare]

Troutman I'm all about the science.

[DTro]

Whomever said "This isn’t food related, but I don’t care" - needs to rethink this comment. 😂

[Debra]

I finally taught my Husband this proper way by explaining to him.
Over the top to the front equals beard which is cool.
Over the top towards the back equals mullet hair style-which is - well - a mullet.

[mrteddyprincess]

Closing the pull out trash can in the cabinet while I'm using it as I trim meat or veggies. It's open so I can put stuff in the trash! Stop walking by and closing it while I'm standing right there!

Stop putting my nice knives in the dishwasher! If you're going to borrow them, please wash them, dry them, and put directly back into the knife block!

Me: I'm looking for larger whole spare ribs, maybe in the 8-10 lb range.
Local Butcher: We only carry baby back ribs.
Me: Son of a b....!

Local butcher shop: Filet Mignon prime cuts of steak $39.99 a pound. Whole beef prime tenderloin $14.99 a pound. That's quite a mark up for cutting a tenderloin into pieces as opposed to leaving it whole...

BBQ restaurants that try to cook chicken, pulled pork, ribs, and brisket and don't do any of it well. Pick something people, and get good at that one thing before you put out mediocre crap as your signature dishes.

Dinner guests who insist that their prime steak be well-done with no signs of red or pink. Next time I will serve you bologna.

[pkadare]

My house rule is I'll cook your steak to any temperature you like, however, if you want it more done than medium rare, you need to bring your own steak.

[ofelles]

You want it done more? You know where the microwave is!

[klflowers]

The knives. Before the split, my wife regularly put my 8” chef’s knife, the only one she used, in the dishwasher. I finally bought a second one and hid it from her

[WillTravelForFood]

Speaking of recipes:

YOUTUBE (or other video) RECIPES THAT DON'T POST THE INGREDIENTS IN SOME EASY TO REFERENCE TEXT SOMEWHERE, such as the accompanying website or video description. Not everybody can easily pause, write, play, pause, write, play to get all the ingredients identified.

ARGH!

[jfmorris]

I'll post a few of my pet peeves:

- Microwaving without covering the plate, leaving it to ME to clean the entire inside of the microwave at some future date.

- Loading (and overloading) the dishwasher with bowls, cups, etc, that are NOT upside down or facing the center of the dishwasher. I.e. turned to hold water or with the dirty side of the bowl up against the wall of the dishwasher. Or putting stuff on top of other stuff. And then COMPLAINING later how the fairly new dishwasher stinks and we should have bought a different model that cleans better.

- Rinsing browned ground meat under running water, loosing all the flavor from the fat! Seriously! I just saw this one happen this morning and had to bite my tongue and walk away. It was ground chicken, so probably no flavor to start with this time... supposedly getting rid of all that fat (and flavor) is good for us...

- Walking away from the stove because of a phone call, leaving it to me to go stir or watch whatever is on the stove, then getting upset that I took over in the kitchen when you come back 15 minutes later, having forgotten you were cooking.

- Locking the doors into and out of the house, or padlocking a gate while we are working in the yard and still need to go in or out of the backyard. This is my one son-in-law's thing. He is totally paranoid about theft and intrusion apparently. He's even locked me out of my own house at least once.

[jfmorris]

As an update, we had the "crappy dishwasher" discussion this morning.

I made the mistake of reminding her that she picked out this Kitchenaide dishwasher as she liked the way it looked more than the higher rated Whirlpool or Frigidaire or whatever I had found based on Consumer Reports 5-6 years ago (I like to buy based on ratings). I was told that this was not true, and I had to just say "ok" and walk away.

[jfmorris]

Also, this morning, someone (who was upset at said crappy Kitchenaide dishwasher) managed to try and force it to closed when the upper rack had an obstruction. I was handed a large piece of plastic broken off the upper rack level adjustment mechanism, and asked to "fix" it. It was literally broken off, and now the rack is dropped all the way on that side.

Off to the online appliance parts store...

[Debra]

My solution for microwaving without covering the plate?
THIS works very very well.

https://www.amazon.com/New-Metro-Design-MAGA-Microwave/dp/B00ICPU7S0