The Constitution of Chili

[texastweeter]

Preamble
We, the lovers of simmered glory, in order to form a more perfect pot, establish flavor, ensure domestic warmth, provide for the common appetite, promote the general zest, and secure the blessings of spice to ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution of Chili. And let it be known: no beans shall darken this noble stew.

Article I — Name and Sovereignty

The dish shall be known as “Chili,” sovereign over plates and napkins.
Sovereignty resides in the meat, the spice, and the simmer, not in legumes of any variety.
Article II — Fundamental Ingredients (Unalienable and Non-Beanable)

Meat: Ground, shredded, diced, or mysteriously reassembled—meat is the executive branch.
Tomato: The people's red representative. Canned or fresh, it shall speak for the union.
Chili powder & spices: Ministers of heat; their decrees must be obeyed.
Onion & garlic: Counselors who whisper umami wise.
Stock or beer: The lifeblood.
Optional lawful adjuncts: bell pepper, cocoa, coffee, dark chocolate, masa, a grumpy splash of vinegar.
Forbidden legume clause: Beans are hereby explicitly, emphatically, and forever banned from the pot.
Article III — Government Structure of the Pot

The Minister of Chili shall preside over Simmer Sessions, keeping time and temperature with judicial calm.
A Stirring Committee shall convene at regular intervals to ensure even distribution of flavor and prevent scorched constituencies.
A Tasting Tribunal (comprised of those brave enough) shall adjudicate matters of salt, acid, and cayenne.
Article IV — Powers and Duties of the Minister of Chili

To proclaim when the chili has reached “just right.”
To veto any attempt to introduce beans, canned corn, or moralizing comments like “Is that all?”
To appoint deputies: spoon-bearers, garnishers, and the person who gets to stir last.
To deploy ladles in case of emergency (empty bowls).
Article V — Amendments and Add-Ins

Amendments may be proposed by any taster with a full spoon and majority approval of the Stirring Committee.
Add-ins must be declared at the door: sour cream, shredded cheese, chopped onions, and cornbread may be admitted with due ceremony.
Beans may petition but may never be admitted.
Article VI — Conduct of War, Peace, and Leftovers

War: If another casserole threatens territorial integrity, chili shall be deployed with righteous spice.
Peace: Shared bowls and recipe swaps shall be encouraged to foster goodwill (except with bean enthusiasts—diplomacy optional).
Leftovers: Shall be repurposed into greater glory (chili mac, chili-topped fries, chili at 2 a.m.), and reheated with respect.
Article VII — On Compromise and Protest

Those who favor beans shall be offered salad, toast, or a second bowl elsewhere.
Protesters may stage a bake-off, provided they do not bring legumes near the kitchen.
Article VIII — Ratification and Closing Garnish

This Constitution is ratified by unanimous slurps and the Minister’s solemn nod.
Final garnish: cilantro, a squeeze of lime, or an offended parsley leaf—chosen by popular demand.
Appendix — Oath of the Spoon
I solemnly swear, by this ladle and my rumbling stomach, to uphold this Constitution, protect it from blandness, and to never, ever allow beans to conspire within the pot.

Signed with a matching apron,
TexasTweeter
The Minister of Chili

[Duanessmokedmeats]

Beans to you!

[STEbbq]

Props.

[CaptainMike]

I know not what course others may take, but as for me, give me chili or give me beans!

[Oak Smoke]

CaptainMike you’ll make a fine Texan someday!

[texastweeter]

Oak Smoke AGREED!

[tstalafuse]

As Don Henley said, "beans in chili is an insult to both the beans and the chili as beans are a whole other meal".

[Draznnl]

I move to lay this constitution on the table and toss some pinto beans into that pot of chili

[CaptainMike]

Sedition!!

[cruiseplanner1]

Or black beans. That's what I use but In Michigan far enough from Texas to get extradited over it....

[Alan Brice]

Hail! Potato mash them so they do not look like beans. Rock yer Bean!

[Willy]

I must point out that the original "real" bowl of Texas Red did not include 'maters, just red chiles, meat, and maybe cumin. BTW, I use both 'maters and beans in my chili, which is the best ever. LOL

[texastweeter]

See last line if Article III

"Forbidden legume clause: Beans are hereby explicitly, emphatically, and forever banned from the pot."

[Mosca]

Meat, peppers, garlic, cumin, Mexican oregano, water, salt. Masa to thicken, at the end.

The most amazing thing is, if you make this, you wonder why anyone ever added anything else to it. It falls strongly into the category of “less is more.”

[randy.56]

Nice try, to convince those of us who put beans in our pot of the greatest chili. As your article V allows Amendments and Add-Ins. for an instant protein and fiber boost. BEANS

[texastweeter]

Last line of Article V

"Beans may petition but may never be admitted"

[Panhead John]

The 28th Amendment clearly states…..Any chili upon which legumes are added is now declared to be called a bowl of spicy beans.

[cruiseplanner1]

Call it what you like but it's good!

[texastweeter]

Now your using mental gymnastics and moral flexibility to justify your stance. cruiseplanner1

[Draznnl]

I’m just glad they encaged most of you chili with beans haters in one state. Y’all can have your Texas rules while the rest of the world enjoys good food.

[texastweeter]

Im just saying, the reason everyone is moving to TX these days is to get back to things as they were intended by our forefathers; BEANLESS

[Draznnl]

No, texastweeter the reason people are moving to Texas is y'all have the best barbecue on earth and lots of it.

[Panhead John]

texastweeter Ease up on him a bit there, he does have a point. 😉

[sclawrence2013]

I move that the Admins grant a special moniker to texastweeter. Something along the lines of "Framer of the Constitution of Chili".

[Sid P]

"Mmmm, this is good. Whatever it is." The chili talk starts at :26.

[Panhead John]

The whole video is good! 😂

[ecowper]

that whole thing is awesome

[barelfly]

You misspelled chile….come on man!!!!!!! says the New Mexican that only makes chile 😂

[Duanessmokedmeats]

Chili without beans is just soup.

[texastweeter]

No, its patriotic.

[Panhead John]

,,,

[texastweeter]

Most of the beef being consumed in Mexico, especially by the rancheros (cowboys) in the 17th, 18th, and 19th centuries, consisted of dried salted beef known as tasajo or cecina.[4] Tasajo was used in many dishes, including a stew of red chili sauce known as carne con chile, (meat with chili). Carne con chile was very common throughout much of Mexico, as it was an easy and cheap meal. An English naval officer and explorer, George Francis Lyon, wrote in 1826 about eating dried beef in a chili sauc

[texastweeter]

Willy see above

[SheilaAnn]

texastweeter should join my culinary historians club.

[Steve B]

Beans go perfectly well with chili. As long as they’re refried beans and in a bowl next to the chili.

[texastweeter]

I see we have a patriot here.