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STUDY: Eating THIS food will shorten your life by 6 minutes (but eating THAT food will add 33 minutes!)

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    STUDY: Eating THIS food will shorten your life by 6 minutes (but eating THAT food will add 33 minutes!)

    According to a study from the University of Michigan, eating the following foods will SHORTEN your life:
    • One hot dog: 36 minutes
    • Bacon: 6 minutes, 30 seconds
    • Pizza: 7 minutes, 8 seconds
    • Double cheeseburger: 8 minutes, 8 seconds
    (No word on measuring the happiness that each of these can bring)

    The following foods will INCREASE your life:
    • Avocados: 2 minutes, 8 seconds
    • Bananas: 13 minutes, 30 seconds
    • Salmon: 13 minutes, 5 seconds
    • Peanut butter and Jelly sandwich: 33 minutes, 6 seconds
    So if I read the study correctly - if we put 4 avocados onto a double-cheeseburger, we're good?


    I ate a metric ton of PB&Js growing up, and a banana every morning these days. I might be immortal.


    • Skip
      Skip commented
      Editing a comment
      Steve R. sound like we're pretty much from the same childhood habits.

    • Bkhuna
      Bkhuna commented
      Editing a comment
      Peanut butter and banana sandwich FTW.

    Hmmm … 43.5 PB&J’s per day … immortality … it could be done. Not sure it’s worth it, tho’.


      I figured that if I ate one pizza a week for 80 years I would lose about 20 days, but I would be happier the entire time. And
      happiness is beneficial to your health, so that might make up for more than the 20 days I lost.


        Does the type of Jelly matter? What if you use Preserves? What about Chunky versus Smooth peanut butter? Type of bread? OMG, I think my limited brain is beginning to hurt...


        • WillTravelForFood
          WillTravelForFood commented
          Editing a comment
          See followup message. I have questions, you have answers.

        Now we will see a tax on life-shorting food. That is to make up for the extra tax you would have paid if you lived longer.
        Last edited by bbqLuv; September 3, 2021, 09:10 AM.


          I just don't get how eating a PB&J makes anyone live longer, and I say this as a big fan of the humble PB&J. I would think the carbs in the bread, combined with the sugar in the peanut butter and jam/jelly, would be bad for you.


          • synodog
            synodog commented
            Editing a comment
            The peanut butter fibers plus the good fats balance out the effects of the sugars is my theory. I wonder if it depends on the type of peanut butter.

          • jfmorris
            jfmorris commented
            Editing a comment
            synodog I've tried organic and all natural peanut butter. I just hate the oily nature, even in the best of them. Gotta spend several minutes stirring the oil in, and it still looks greasy compared to regular peanut butter. And if you compare the nutrition label, they are about the same in that regard in sugars, carbs, etc.

          This reminds me of an old joke:

          Two friends were talking, (one was an alcholholic - I'll use "A" for him). The A told his friend that he was gonna limit himself to one drink a day'. The friend sez "great!" Several days later the friend sees A in a bar throwin' them back. Friend sez "I thought you were gonna only have one drink a day." A sez "that's right, and at the moment I'm only six weeks ahead..."


            I was expecting to see kale, spinach, etc on the life extending foods. So I came here to call BS on the study because I’d rather be dead eating just that.

            however seeing the list here is quite a surprise. I hate bananas but everything else is a-ok by me.


              I could walk outside and get hit by a bus…


              • glitchy
                glitchy commented
                Editing a comment
                Even funnier when your profile pic is you standing by a bus.

              • tbob4
                tbob4 commented
                Editing a comment
                33 minutes later if you are holding a PB&J!

              Meh, we're all living on borrowed time so we might as well enjoy the time we have.


              • Attjack
                Attjack commented
                Editing a comment
                Being healthy feels pretty good.

              So it looks like I have about 17 minutes to live....hmmm....didn't see this coming.


                If I were told I had only a short time to live I'd switch to a salt-free fat-free sugar-free diet because every day would feel like a year.


                • Oak Smoke
                  Oak Smoke commented
                  Editing a comment
                  If they tell me I have a short time to go I’ll be buying a pack of Marlboro lights and a quart of good rum. I gave both up several years ago in order to live longer. I did not give them up because I didn’t like them!

                • FireMan
                  FireMan commented
                  Editing a comment
                  Yeah, live longer by killin herself.

                Idiotic studies like this are why people dismiss all of these "X increases your risk of Y by Z%" warnings. For all the fancy math in the study, it's BS. There's no way they can know these things to this precision and that's setting aside the differences in individual genetics, behavior this doesn't capture and the like.

                Dammit, I'm out of jam.


                  Let's reason on this. Pandemic, wars, disasters, conflict and hate.

                  I'll have a pizza topped with double cheeseburger, bacon, and hot dog please.


                  • Steve R.
                    Steve R. commented
                    Editing a comment
                    I see your avatar in a whole new light now, ComfortablyNumb. Put down the steak!

                  • CaptainMike
                    CaptainMike commented
                    Editing a comment
                    And a chocolate shake!!!

                  • smokin fool
                    smokin fool commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Make my shake a double extra thick Saspirilla


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