Epic Turkey Day upcoming.....

[realdocBBQ]

So I've posted before about how I want to do a gigantic ostrich-sized turkey for the holiday. Why? BECAUSE! Why not? I dunno... I can't think of a reason not to.

Wife always says we have way too much, it's gonna go to waste, blah blah blah... I mean, this ain't expensive meat. And if I'm smoking, it don't change a helluva lot to cook it for 2.5 hours or for 4 hours. Whatevers.

So tonight at the store, just for S&G I threw a gigantic bird in the cart, just to see what she would say. She literally said nothing - she looked at it, then went back to her shopping.

I also picked up a 'smallish' turkey breast alone to do very 'basic' with just like S&P, maybe a light poultry rub, since a couple of our guests would like something milder than wilder. Of course, it was still like 7 lbs, for one of the smaller breasts - Honeysuckle White, I think.

Here's my brontosaurus bird - this'll be the biggest one I've ever done, and I'm excited!



I think I'm going to be set on Brian Lagerstrom's version of roasted turkey with injection and brine for 72 hours - then I'll likely spatchcock it and let it dry the skin for 48 hours. So I'll do the brine on... Friday or Saturday, probably. This thing won't be thawed by then - it's a solid block of ice right now, and it's already Tuesday. So I think I might put it in the ice chest maybe tomorrow in some water to try to thaw it over the next couple of days. Even if it's not 100% thawed when I pull it from the package and put it in the brine, it should be ok, it'll continue to thaw some as it brines. So I'm hoping it's going to work out.

We'll see!

I'm open for tips on thawing this in the next 72 hours or so. The only thing I know is to put it in the ice chest filled with water and keep applying ice to keep it below 40, but help it thaw.

I was planning on doing the brine in one of Ziploc giant bags, but I looked at WM tonight and they don't have them, also on Amazon, where I've ordered before, I can't get them before next week sometime. So I am looking at other options on Amazon for turkey brining bags. At the moment, I think I'm leaning toward this set, mainly because it says delivery tomorrow, which means SURELY by Thursday or Friday, given Amazon's penchant for 'revising' my delivery dates the last year or so, but I'm open to ideas if someone has used one in the past besides Ziploc and knows they're really thick and good quality.

Yes, I know it's probably better to do 2 turkeys than 1 giant one, but... I just want to. Ya know... I just want to.

I was planning on cooking in The Duk, my 20" diameter offset on Thanksgiving - but now, I'm thinking I may want to bring The Bronco home for the day, my 26" 110-gallon trailer mounted one. Or, God-forbid, Big Bertha, the 320-gallon. lol I don't think I need that one, unless a bunch of people hit me up to cook for them Thanksgiving week. I'm not offering myself up this time, though, I've got enough to deal with. We have Cubans coming for Turkey Day with 12 people here, then another 3 houseguests from the Caribbean showing up on Friday for the weekend. Another reason The Wife was ok with me getting a big ol' bird. Apparently, we gon' do it up right this year.

[captainlee]

Now that's Big Bird! Anxious to see your results.

[RichieB]

My wife has been adamant about doing nothing less than 26- 28#. Yea not a typeo. This has been the standard for years. Guess what she can't find one👍. The store she orders from had an order for 20 cases of large birds. Received 0 😏. So it's 2 14#ers. She always gets frozen. It's at least 5 days in the fridge for the defrost. It would have been in the freezer Monday. And to the fridge tomorrow. She'll get the birds Thursday or Friday. Most likely in the fridge by Sunday morning. I just step back. She owns Thanksgiving.

[realdocBBQ]

I'm excited. But the thawing in time for a 3-day brine and a 2-day dry is going to be key.

[RichieB]

There was no brine. It was defrosted and she does what she does to prep/season it. What I will say the results have been consistent. Tender, moist and delicious. Stuffing, candied yams, cranberry sauce and apple sauce all hers plus all the fixin's. Then there's Friday, the Italian feast. The best 2 day feast (and leftovers) of the year.

[Huskee]

Why the huge difference between tare weight and net weight?

[realdocBBQ]

I saw that and wasn't sure what it meant - the tare weight isn't 14lbs its 0.14lbs. I think they're... maybe allowing for weight of packaging? I'm not sure what else the point of that notation is. Maybe someone can enlighten me?

[Murdy]

"Tare weight" is the weight of the packaging that gets subtracted from the total weight in calculating the price.

[Huskee]

realdocBBQ Murdy Ahhh, I see now it does say .14, I missed the period and thought it said 14 lbs and I wondered how on earth the tare could be be so high.

[DavidNorcross]

Got me by a lb. We have done two smaller birds in the past, but we also like big turkey's. Maybe that is why I think Panhead John is such a good guy.

[Alan Brice]

Big TayHass Turkey! Evarythang's bigger in Tayhass.

[Panhead John]

Thanks? 🦃 🦃🦃

[Kascon11]

Isn't butterball already brined/injected? I think your thawing method is a solid plan. I did one that size once, it was good, took too much time (smoking was not an option for me back then) and oven space. I switched to 2 12lbs birds and everybody was happier. I wish you the best of luck and it sounds like a great culinary challenge.

[realdocBBQ]

Pretty much all commercial birds are already brined - but I've found there's still a bit of an improvement. I dunno if they use low quality brine, or if it's just that it's being brined closer to its cook or whatever. Seems to make a bit of a difference on chikkins, anyways.

[Alan Brice]

I am not so sure a "Heritage" Is brined. I will have to find my stickers on that one.

[Huskee]

They are not "brined" as we consider it. Yes, often they use an "x% solution", but how much of that solution is salt we don't know. Best practice is to check the Nutrition Facts label. A good rule of thumb I've found is if the sodium is 200mg or less, brine it your self as normal. If it's 300, consider scaling it back some. If it's upper 300s or 400s Id say skip brining it.

[PGH_RAM]

Nice bird!

Last year I roasted a 27 lbs bird just because I could. It was glorious to behold. I have to go less than 20 lbs this year because I'm using my rotisserie. It'll probably be the smallest turkey I've ever cooked, but it'll taste great.

[realdocBBQ]

PGH_RAM share me some pics! I wanna see that dinosaur! How did it cook up?

Honestly thinking maybe to NOT spatchcock this bird, JUST so it'll be a huge mound when I bring it in and take pics. But, cooking whole and unopened may cause problems with cook time. I'll prolly spatchcock it, I'll just need a snow shovel to move the thing. lol

[PGH_RAM]

I spatchcocked the beast and it cooked up beautifully. It was so big its drumsticks hung over the edge of my largest baking tray. Unfortunately, I have no pics of the finished product because I was running around like a madman as all of the sides and gravy were getting done. I can post some pics from before the oven, though.

[PGH_RAM]

realdocBBQ Here you go...26.9 lbs.





I sound my barbaric yawp over the roofs of the world....

[Panhead John]

😂 Awesome pic dude!

[smokenoob]

😳😳😳

[Huskee]

That's not a turkey that's a buzzard.

[RichieB]

This was last year. A 28#er.

[Huskee]

Boy that looks perfect!

[realdocBBQ]

Man, now I'm already feeling inadequate seeing 27 & 28 pound birds. lol

That's ok... PGH_RAM I'm really glad to see your dino-bird fit on a half-sheet tray. That's reassuring for me.

And "YAWP" is definitely the right description!

[tamidw]

We did a behemoth of a turkey a few years ago that we raised ourselves. Dressed out he was about 47 lbs, if I recall right. I had to spatchcock him, then still wouldn’t fit on my smoker so had to take legs and wings off. Crazy huge! This years is over 20 lbs but not sure how big. These were the big cookie sheets the turkey was sitting on.

[PGH_RAM]

47 lbs?!?!? HOLY MOLY!!!! I can't even imagine what that turkey looked like walking around a farmyard.

[tamidw]

He was pretty impressive, that’s for sure. I’ll have to find a picture of him.

[RichieB]

After posting here that we were going with 2 14# birds cuz the store didn't have large birds. My wife went today and all they had was large birds
On sale at .49 per #. Pretty economical.

[realdocBBQ]

Whoa! Nice BrontoBird!

[JackGale]

San Diego area is sold out of fresh turkeys, had to go to 3 stores and finally found one but the biggest they had was 13.8 pounds so doing an extra breast alongside.

[SmokeyGator]

My dad bought a 17 pounder on sale. LAST YEAR. But the package says "best if used before May 2025" and so unless I am in the future it should be good.

As for the how, I just go with the "ultimate smoked or grilled turkey" method from the free side. The smoking or grilling is pretty straightforward, really no different than baking except that you do not get the house hot (I am in South Florida, so we try to keep the heat OUTSIDE as best we can for 360 out of 365 days, it will get cold enough for iguanas to fall out of trees at least 5 times per winter season). Use the Fireboard thing to get the Primo to 325, and......well that is about it really. Not much more to do other than make everyone else think you are "working hard" when in reality you are hanging out under the small tiki hut drinking beer and listening to satellite radio on the Amazon/DHS spy device cleverly disguised as as "smart speaker". The trick here is to stand in the smoke when the cooker is heating up, so your clothes smell like smoke. Takes only a few minutes, no more than 1/2 a beer. 1 full beer is you want to REALLY seem like you were doing a lot.

But the ultimate smoked turkey method contains the recipe for the gravy. THIS is where it is really at. It is a thin gravy, if you want the super thick stuff then you need to use a roasting pan to catch the drippings. Then do more work and that really interferes with the whole beer, satellite radio, and faking it thing.

I have discovered that a standard rectangle chaffing dish food pan fits PERFECTLY on top of my Primo XL heat plates and UNDER the grill grates. So I put all the gravy stuff in that pan and then the turkey can drip into it as it cooks. I do modify the recipe a bit, adding some Grand Mariner, a little bit of apple cider vinegar, everything I cut off the turkey (mostly the backbone but also the neck that is stuffed into the cavity, just not the gross giblets because no), and for a touch more Florida the juice of one orange and some of the peel. After the turkey is done I have a large flat spoon thing with holes in it, to fish all the stuff out of the gravy. I also check on the progress every 30-45 minutes just to make sure more water does not have to be added, it does reduce quite a bit. But generally speaking, given that you start off with three quarts water even if a whole quart boils off you still have over 1/2 gallon left. That is enough. As long as the drip pan does not go dry, but I have never had this problem.

Recipe guide suggests around 3 hours cook time for a 24 pounder if you spatchcock it, at a set temp of 325. So around 5 beers? Something like that.

[PGH_RAM]

I ordered a medium bird (16-22 lbs) from the farm where we've gotten our Thanksgiving turkeys for the past 3 years. I was hoping for an 18 pounder because the weight limit on my rotisserie is only 20 lbs. By the time we got to the farm, however, all they had left were 22 lbs+. I ended up with 22.8 lbs. I'm wondering if I should break it down and just do the breast on my rotisserie or if I could push the rotisserie motor and do the whole thing. I also suppose I could just pivot and scrap the whole rotisserie idea and spatchcock it and cook it on the grates. Decisions, decisions.

[DTro]

I bet if you take off the wing tips, some excess skin and take the giblets out of the cavity you will be pretty close to 20.

[PGH_RAM]

Good call, DTro. I totally forgot that the farm bird comes with all the parts on board. Heck, even if I get it down to 21lbs, I'd risk putting it on the rotisserie.

[PGH_RAM]

Problem solved, GAS indulged. An inexpensive, handy little upgrade.

https://www.amazon.com/Universal-Replacement-Stainless-Rotisserie-Aftermarket/dp/B00X7RKFWG/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3M8KWD6J6KMDL&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.Y03qcab_9hgWA-AdJ2D_bBG2ZndzkEUIXBl5CDlnFlrGjHj071QN20LucGBJIEps.enOZvKyLryauArdGDQtH9lq0Qz87hfMVabgPJREIuZc&dib_tag=se&keywords=onlyfire%2B40%2Bpound%2Bmotor&qid=1732497501&sprefix=onlyfire%2B40%2Bpound%2Bmotor%2Caps%2C90&sr=8-1&th=1