Authentic Texas Clam Chowder

[smokin fool]

I have no words

[Panhead John]

That’ll teach you to put pineapple in your chili!

[ecowper]

you have to forgive him, he's from Canada

[Panhead John]

I thought he was from Hawaii.

[Huskee]

Can I add green beans?

[Panhead John]

Green beans are a perfectly suitable substitute for kidney beans. Only fresh! Canned green beans are a no no!

[troymeister]

Ok...Still smiling...How could canned green beans be a no no but canned clams or fake lobster be ok?? I am thoroughly enjoying this thread.

[Panhead John]

I was trying to pacify Huskee 😄 The banter between me and him went off course, referring to another post from a few days ago. Disregard
that and everything else will make sense troymeister

[Huskee]

Panhead John Can I serve this with pancakes?

[Oak Smoke]

Panhead John You don’t think you need therapy?

[Panhead John]

sir, if anyone needs therapy its me.

[Oak Smoke]

Panhead John Let me share the oak smoke way to get therapy with you. There was a time when I too thought I might need a bit of therapy. I couldn’t afford one so I did the next best thing, I dated one. Did you know those people expect you to do every thing they tell you to? Me either!

[pknj]

This New England Swamp Yankee just threw up all over the place...

[ScottyC13]

Thanks! And your recipe beats Manhattan clam chowder any day of the week!

[Panhead John]

I feel honored! Thx.

[Donw]

My thoughts exactly!

[ofelles]

Laughing so hard!....................now I want some clam chowder!

[Panhead John]

My next post will be...Boston Baked Beans-Texas Style

[ofelles]

You sir, are relentless!

[ofelles]

Panhead John And after thinking about it Texas style has to be an improvement. I do not like Boston Baked Beans, to sweet for me.

[ofelles]

I sent the OP out to a few of friends who know what good food is suppose to taste like. Most replied with a "Let me know how that turns out.
One of my Daughters replied with, "That sounds so good. I'm really hungry" . The only thing I can figure is I caught her after smoking some of that funny stuff, maybe a bit tooo much. She does live in Santa Cruz. Lots of refugees from the 60's moved there.
I think I need to write her out of the will!

[Panhead John]

I would if I was you Dad!

[JGo37]

https://www.bing.com/images/search?view=detailV2&ccid=Sb4cprlr&id=CACC7CE3B233C6FD67A745B766CBBBB428BA8655&thid=OIP.Sb4cprlrF2uJEGTQKKPDAAHaEJ&mediaurl=https%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FVi5dY1u.gif&exph=404&expw=720&q=blazing+saddles+fart+gif&simid=608029724116715123&ck=0C7D1A5C40AB5489D2A7A1B36C537CF7&selectedindex=4&form=EX0023&adlt=off&shtp=GetUrl&shid=c922590a-94d8-4734-9f02-90929aedf070&shtk=RGlkIGNvd2JveXMgc2xlZXAgaW4gdGVudHM%2FIC0gQVIxNS5DT00%3D&shdk=Rm91bmQgb24gQmluZyBmcm9tIHd3dy5hcjE1LmNvbQ%3D%3D&shhk=oGW9MT3Sn0dflIgagZewxQf9SB6ntK85V%2FGa0CeoMrQ%3D&shth=OSH.lmrLMZCcnffxMuAyHsoV4w

And I thought they were eating beans!

[Panhead John]

That was actually the inspiration for the infamous campfire scene.

[troymeister]

I am smiling right now.

From what I can tell, it's the canned clams that make it authentic... I saw another recipe somewhere that mentioned something about Armadillos. But I won't go there.

[58limited]

Deep fried is fine but try spitting down the middle to butterfly it, cover with salt, black pepper, garlic, and red pepper, and smoke over post oak and mesquite for 20 hours. Pull the meat like pulled pork, serve on celery sticks and dip in Greek yogurt.

[58limited]

Here is how I cook possum: take one possum, clean and skin it. Place on a large cedar plank, season however you wish. Smoke over hackberry and Bois d' Arc overnight. Remove from pit, throw away the possum, and eat the cedar plank.

[Panhead John]

What!!! No Pineapple? You heathen!

[mnavarre]

I don't see how you can possibly claim this recipe is authentic. It doesn't even have the aged fish heads in it, not to mention the kale and coconut milk.

I swear, some peoples' kids...

[Panhead John]

Hey! You need to re-read my recipe. I definitely said I prefer coconut milk!
And everyone knows kale is better suited for chili!

[mnavarre]

Good lord, what kind of monster puts kale in chilli?

[58limited]

Seen on the bathroom wall at a truckstop in Duluth: "For a good clam chowder contact https://pitmaster.amazingribs.com/me...9-panhead-john "

[Panhead John]

I figured it would spread like crazy. People have been "clamoring" for my Texas Style Clam Chowder. I got 4 emails just today from Massachusetts.

[FireMan]

PJ, if you humble yerself & put Meatheads name as the author, this recipe will have more cred. It is really high on DuckDuckGo whatchmacallits list.

[Donw]

I can’t really explain why I know, maybe it is just a rare glimpse into the future from on high, but somehow I know deep in my bones that if he did associate Meathead’s name with this recipe pretty soon old John would be sleeping with the clams.

[Panhead John]

Fireman, I believe Meathead would be proud to call this his own….😂

And Don, yep, I kinda like it here…so I’m not. 🥸

[Richard Chrz]

I’d just like to say, I’m from the bbq capital of the world, La Crosse Wi! This recipe seems off. This surprises me, I thought texas was the 4,000,000th capital of the world, in clam chowder.

[mnavarre]

Most people just don't know. It's the unique flavor you get from fermenting the fish heads and kale in the lutefisk pens. It really gives it that terror that they talk about in the wine magazines.

[Panhead John]

😂😂😂

[Panhead John]

Damn man, this post was when I was a rookie.