How to Troll Cooking Competition Show Hosts

[Nate]

Or maybe I should ask How Would YOU Troll a Cooking Competition Show Host / Celebrity Chef?

Ever since I started reading the AR free site and joined the pitmaster club I have found myself watching food shows, cooking competition shows, etc... with a different degree of scrutiny. I then went through the mental gymnastics of who was right, Gordon Ramsey or Meathead or Kenji or... well you get the picture...

My anxiety has finally calmed down a little and now I find the shows fun and I'm not so critical. Kind of like when you first started to think you were good a BBQ and then slammed any restaurant's BBQ for not being as good as yours instead of just shutting up and enjoying a meal out with friends and family... anyway I digress...

I especially find it amusing when a person with no or little culinary background informs Gordon Ramsey that he is right and Gordon is wrong... or any of the other chefs for that matter....

But that got me to thinking: If I was on these shows and I didn't care about my own well being, how would I troll these guys?

Some thoughts:

Gordon Ramsey: There's too much juice coming from this steak... YOU DIDN'T LET IT REST!
Nate: Meathead proved that's a myth!

Gordon Ramsey: WHY THE $#%^ ARE YOU PUTTING THAT STEAK IN THE OVEN WITHOUT SEARING IT FIRST... YOU ARE GOING TO LOSE ALL THE JUICE.
Nate: Haven't you heard of Reverse Sear? Learned about it from Meathead!

Host: You have 1 hour to prepare your signature dish
Nate: I'm going to need about 7 hours.
Host: WTH?
Nate: You can't hurry ribs! Meathead even wrote a song about it!

Nate: *Presents to the hosts a platter with little ingredient bowls of Egg, Cream, Sugar, Vanilla, Milk, Salt
Host: WHAT THE H3LL IS THAT?
Nate: Deconstructed Ice Cream

I have a whole list of these things from dry brining to sous vide....

What are some ways YOU would troll a cooking competition host?

[Troutman]

That's exactly why game shows with food are a stupid and inane waste of time. They are an utterly useless. It used to be the food channels actually cooked, instructed and otherwise entertained in the process. Now it's just another form of reality TV mixed in with a game show.

As to the resting a steak, I don't agree with Meathead at all. I rest all my meat to some degree, cut into a thick steak right off the grill sometime and you'll know exactly what I mean.

[Attjack]

Yeah, I don't enjoy "reality" tv.

I also agree that resting meat helps. Even Meathead's experiment showed it helped retain juice and I suspect it does more than just that. I also often do a front sear as both techniques have value.

[mnavarre]

I just watched an old Paul Prudhomme show on YT, I'd forgotten how informative he was. Emeril was great back when, also. At least Good Eats is back. And the PBS @Create channel has a lot of good cooking shows.

[ItsAllGoneToTheDogs]

I like shows like chopped and masterchef because they make me think about ingredients I normally either wouldn't use, or at least pair with other ingredients. I like guys grocery games the most when they aren't overly limited on ingredients. It's silly, but it's more fun that some of the other reality crud out there.

[HawkerXP]

The Chief Ramsay show traveling the world eating local. Come on. Who can ever beat Anthony Bourdain.

[Troutman]

I thought the exact same thing. I really respect Ramsey and enjoy his show where he cooks at home, but his personality leaves much to be desired. Bourdain was a saint by comparison.

[TripleB]

Bourdain's book, Kitchen Confidential, was a hoot. I have not read his others, but KC was quite eye opening.

[N227GB]

The best chapter in Kitchen Confidential was "What I Know About Meat".

[Skip]

Competition Cooking Shows are made for TV so take them for what they are. Sometimes ok to watch if there's nothing else to do which for me doesn't happen very often.

[ssandy_561]

I hate watching the BBQ shows where when they pull a rack of ribs off and then pull out a bone cleanly and say they are cooked to perfection.

I always want to yell that they are over cooked.

[Troutman]

I know right? The last time I cooked pork ribs I nailed them, perfect bite finish, magazine perfect glaze, the whole nine yards. Wife says, "These were good but I really miss the way you used to cook them where the bones just fell out from the meat". My jaw just hit the ground. Cooking results are YMMV.

[ssandy_561]

Oh yeah I hate this one also

Gordan: your steak is done medium rare when it feels like when you press on the lower section of your palm.

Me: You’re full of Sh**. Give me an instant read thermometer and I’ll tell you when it’s reached medium rare.

[HawkerXP]

"But you're poking holes in the meat and all the juices will come out!"

[gdsim1]

I actually guffawed when I read this! 😂😂😂

ssandy_561 for president! 😃🙌

[MBMorgan]

I find that watching reality TV cooking shows is best with the sound turned off. The only exception is anything with Guy Fieri. Those are best with the TV turned off.

[ssandy_561]

Exactly. I like Guy. And Diners, Drive-ins & Dives is one of the most watched shows on the Food Network but I’ve never heard someone say they like Guy.

[ofelles]

His restaurants suck.
We have/had (I think it closed up) A Johnny Garlic here in town. Went to it once. I had the Buffalo meatloaf with 21 spices, which was a good thing because that’s the only taste in it. My wife had a crabmeat stuffed mushroom appetizer uneatable. The garlic mashed potatoes with my meatloaf were okay but that’s the best of the whole meal.

[richinlbrg]

ssandy_561 , I saw a DDD episode for a Q place in Fairfield, CT. So one day we decided to forgo our usual downtown Fairfield dive to give it a try. Was OK at best. Funny thing is the real, and GREAT dive was just across the street (Rawleys Hot Dogs). Never make THAT mistake again!
But if you watch enough of his shows, you can tell when he REALLY likes a place.

[Huskee]

Has anyone ever seen Guy Fieri cook something? I've seen him eat a thousand things but never cook (and notice how he LOVES everything, I think he's more polite than honest, opposite of Ramsey). Maybe I didn't watch the right shows. And why is his last name pronounced Fee-etty? And why is Bret Favre's name pronounced Farv? And why do we drive in a parkway and park in a driveway, and when we abbreviate refrigerator to fridge we add a d?

[JCGrill]

Guy's schtick gets old, but I love DDD. I get inspired by that show all the time ("hey, I can do that!"). His restaurants do definitely suck.

[richinlbrg]

Why does Hawaii have interstate highways, Huskee ?

[gdsim1]

Huskee - it’s because of the F names. Fieri and Favre are both FRAUDS!!! 😂😂😂

Go Bears! 😇

[texastweeter]

I would be sure I went first to taste, and add some miracle berries To my food. The culinary equivalent of slipping someone a Mickey.

[grantgallagher]

I have a lot in common with Ramsay. Both born in scotland, both raised in not so great places, both die hard fans of rangers football club and both played for their youth team. In his case from everything ive read/heard he had a chance but was derailed by injury. In my case i just was never quite good enough.

He knows how to sell a show and bring in ratings, thats for sure. Im also pretty sure he also knows how to cook. He will def polarize people but 16 michelin stars aint notin' ta F with, lol.

[Huskee]

On the steak-feels-like-your-hand thing, I'd ask such a pro to cook a thick & thin ribeye, thick & thin strip steak, sirloin, and a filet. Once they ALL feel the same, whatever they say "medium rare" feels like, let's pull them all off at that point and cut 'em open. Repeat with my grandma doing it with her hand, and Terry Crews doing the same with his hand. I've never dunnit myself but I theorize the host would have some 'splainin to do Lucy.

[Attjack]

I think the idea is that you can learn to cook a steak by feel. If want to be scientific use a thermometer.

[Bkhuna]

I loathe Chefutainment shows. The pinnicle of douchieness is the Prince of Peroxide Posers; Guy Ferry.

[Attjack]

My sisters went to high school with with him. I remember he had a hot dog stand as a kid.

[Bkhuna]

Troutman - No. His real name if Guy Ferry.

[IowaGirl]

Huh. Cool tidbit, Bkhuna. "...Throughout his childhood, teens and most of his 20s, Guy’s last name was "Ferry." The name "Fieri" (pronounced like "Fieddi") didn’t become Guy’s official last name until 1995 when he married his wife, Lori, and changed his last name (and the one she took on) from Ferry to Fieri, to honor his great-grandfather, Giuseppe Fieri...." https://www.simplemost.com/guy-fieri-facts/

[FireMan]

Wheying in on this steak thing, I agree hole hartedly with mr. Meathead. Resting a steak is dumb. It doesn’t need to rest, it’s dead. It’s not even tired. I may be a little, cuz I cook em sorta at the end of the day. But, all the "rest" my steak will see is the time it takes to take it off, put it on a platter or plate, wait fer my wife cuz she always fiddles with somethin, say a deep thank you, and eat it!
Now the cookin & the thing I have often joked about with that thing between yer finger & yer thumb, well, I think we have a consensus that doin that is dumb to, if ya really think about it. If I don’t have a thermo-meter I just sorta look at it, poke it with a fork & hope fer the best, maybe cut it open to have a look see. But I am of the converted. Wouldn’t think of cookin with out some sorta temp gauge tool.
Trollin, well that’s what I do sometime when I’m ffishin.
TV, watch maybe 1 to 3 hours a week. Most of the stuff on now makes yer brain go take a "rest". My two bits worth. 🕶

[texastweeter]

what is GOT?

[Huskee]

texastweeter from what a gal at works tells me it's a medieval-themed porno

[texastweeter]

ohhhh Game Of Thrones. Gotcha, yeah don't watch it.

[RonB]

I don't watch any show that has a shot time limit to cook somethin'.

[mountainsmoker]

There is a new on the Cooking Channel 113 on Dish called BBQ Pitmasters on Saturday night. It has Myron Mixon, Johnny Trigg, Tuffy Stone and others actually cooking at tournament sites around the country. Last week they were in KC for the Royal.

[Huskee]

I like Johnny.