That dumb @ss who lives in my neighborhood. I've told you about him before.
The other day he bought expensive, prime porterhouse steaks with lovely marbling and a generous filet side. He dry brined the steaks and ground a custom steak rub for developing a good crust.
Normally this guy sears his steaks on a grate over the charcoal chimney and gets good results, but now he's looking at the size of the porterhouse steaks and decides he'll dump the coals and sear the steaks on the grate of the grill this time.
Did I mention this guy used to teach chemistry?
While he's lighting the tumbleweeds under the chimney, he convinces himself that if he uses lighter fluid in conjunction with the tumbleweeds it will cut down on the time for the charcoal to be ready.
So he holds the lighter fluid sideways (so as not to be directly over the chimney--that would be stupid) and squirts a generous amount of fluid onto the top briquettes. He walks back inside. He peeks back out a few minutes later. His backyard looks like someone has set off smoke bombs. The wind is blowing from the west, and there is a solid wall of smoke wafting across the yard and across the fence.
Then it occurred to him that the fluid put on the top never made it down to the flames of the tumbleweeds, and the hotter briquettes at the bottom are below the flash point of the lighter fluid, and that he's essentially created a way to vaporize all of the fluid he put on there earlier.
It also occurs to him that he shouldn't go anywhere near that grill until all that smoke goes away.
So for the next 15 minutes I watch him peeking out of his patio sliding door using it as a shield between him, his dog, and the grill.
Eventually the smoke cleared up, he had red hot coals, and got the perfect sear on the steaks with a perfect 133 F internal temp. SMH.
B
The other day he bought expensive, prime porterhouse steaks with lovely marbling and a generous filet side. He dry brined the steaks and ground a custom steak rub for developing a good crust.
Normally this guy sears his steaks on a grate over the charcoal chimney and gets good results, but now he's looking at the size of the porterhouse steaks and decides he'll dump the coals and sear the steaks on the grate of the grill this time.
Did I mention this guy used to teach chemistry?
While he's lighting the tumbleweeds under the chimney, he convinces himself that if he uses lighter fluid in conjunction with the tumbleweeds it will cut down on the time for the charcoal to be ready.
So he holds the lighter fluid sideways (so as not to be directly over the chimney--that would be stupid) and squirts a generous amount of fluid onto the top briquettes. He walks back inside. He peeks back out a few minutes later. His backyard looks like someone has set off smoke bombs. The wind is blowing from the west, and there is a solid wall of smoke wafting across the yard and across the fence.
Then it occurred to him that the fluid put on the top never made it down to the flames of the tumbleweeds, and the hotter briquettes at the bottom are below the flash point of the lighter fluid, and that he's essentially created a way to vaporize all of the fluid he put on there earlier.
It also occurs to him that he shouldn't go anywhere near that grill until all that smoke goes away.
So for the next 15 minutes I watch him peeking out of his patio sliding door using it as a shield between him, his dog, and the grill.
Eventually the smoke cleared up, he had red hot coals, and got the perfect sear on the steaks with a perfect 133 F internal temp. SMH.
B
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