Welcome!


This is a membership forum. Guests can view 5 pages for free. To participate, please join.

[ Pitmaster Club Information | Join Now | Login | Contact Us ]

Only 4 free page views remaining.

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Schatzi10 Intro

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    Schatzi10 Intro

    Once upon a time, a long, long time ago I found myself newly single in the mid-90's. Within a short period of time I realized I didn't mind being single, in fact I actually reveled in it, I missed the wonderful food that came off the Weber in the previous nine years. I was married to a pretty little cowgirl, born and bred in the steppes of west Texas who had transferred with her company to Maryland. Pure culture shock for the Texan, pure BBQ bliss for my Yankee self. I remember incredible things coming off that old Weber. Brisket (of course) you could cut with a fork, chicken where the white meat was juicy, and all kinds of other things that were totally new to me. I was raised in the 'burbs where when the old man grilled, the chicken caught fire, the hot dogs looked like pipe insulation and we saved the burgers for Winter when we could use them as hockey pucks. THIS my friends, had to change.

    After about three months of restaurant food, Marie Callender tuna noodle do-do and Stouffer lasagna I realized it wasn't the Texan I missed, it was what used to come off that funny looking round metal thing that sat out on the deck. Knowing just enough to be dangerous, I started with that rusty old Weber kettle, a bag of charcoal, a can of lighter fluid, cold beer and a hunk of chicken. Those were the days! I pulled some stuff off that thing that even my trusty Labrador retriever wouldn't eat.

    Frustrated, I went to California to see my "Zen daddy of all things male", LT. LT and I met while we stationed on a carrier in San Diego in the late '80's and we have maintained a close friendship to this day. He was from LA, the son of a Mexican dude and a Puerto Rican mom. I used to tag along with him to his folks house on the weekends and the things that his mom pulled off the grill were truly amazing! My Yankee taste buds had never been lit like my weekends in Whittier with LT. He and his mom would work their magic on the grill and the stove while his Dad and I drank beer and watched the ballet. Being a SoCal boy, LT knew food and he had a very sophisticated palate. And the boy knew what to do with a grill!

    I spent my week in LA in May of 1996 with LT doing nothing but eating meat. And beer, but beer was the only side. All of the the meals were three different kinds of meat. I remember chicken thighs moist and juicy, steaks that were bright red inside, crunchy and smokey on the outside. There was tri-tip, something I couldn't even get here in MD until recently and smoked Cali peppers that just exploded in you mouth. By the time I climbed on Southwest and headed East, I was locked and loaded. No more Sam's Club prepared food for this Hombre! I was ready to kill and grill.

    So through the years I got better and better. I replaced and upgraded equipment, experimented with different cuts and techniques, and used wonderful resources like this site to hone my craft. It didn't take long to realize that the way to a man's heart might be through his stomach but the way into a chicks' pants is smoked meat. Back then, and especially in Maryland, only people without electricity or the criminally insane grilled after Labor Day. I had both a new Weber and a 3 burner cheap propane blasting away all year. And let me tell ya', I was beating chicks off with a baseball bat. I quickly learned that the best second date was "Sweetheart, why don't you stop by my place Saturday night and I'll throw a little something together". As soon as they got out of the car and smelled the smoke I was hooked up! It actually wasn't fair.

    Now I know that any woman reading this will think I was a total pig, and hey, I was. But they ate REAL good and in the end, I settled down with a pretty little Maryland girl that can run a trotline, set a crabtrap, skin a striper, and cooks like it's the last week on Earth. I only mention the aphrodisiac qualities of BBQ for the young bulls that may be reading this. If you're not a young bull and are reading this, c'mon. Pass the word to the 20 and 30 somethings to put down their idiotic smartphones. Get off Twitter and Facebook, forget taking them to dinner and blowing $100 on some dish where the meat would fit on a teaspoon and the radish is decorated like a rose. Get a Weber, a cheap gasser, maybe a small smoker and start with chicken and ribs. Old Bull to Young Bull - keep it simple, Stupid!

    I welcome your thoughts, comments and ideas.

    John

    #2
    A hearty welcome from Illinois.

    Great intro and funny too.

    Comment


      #3
      Welcome from Northern CA

      Comment


        #4
        Hello & we are glad you are here (kind of like an AA/NA meeting), from Oklahoma.

        Comment


          #5
          Welcome to the Pit Schatzi10 ... nice introduction. I like your style.👍

          Old bull to old bull... feed them well and make them laugh and she will want to introduce you to her friends and her mother.

          Young bulls... its much more personal and less expensive to invite them to your place. Women are really impressed by a man with a neat house and a well equipped kitchen and BBQ area. Learn to make a few sauces that most people have no idea how to make, that will make them think you really know what you're doing. Fancy martinis are a nice touch too and don't forget the wine. Fresh flowers in the kitchen won't hurt your cause either.

          Be sure to be a gentleman as the evening winds down by not allowing her to drive home drunk. A sleep over might be best.😁 Better safe than sorry.😎

          Comment


            #6
            Welcome from upstate New York, John.

            Comment


              #7
              Well put Breadhead! Five more tips for the Young Bull.
              1) Clean the freaking bathroom. Chicks see a little boy when they see a dirty bathroom.
              2) Sear, don't char. Your caveman bunkies may dig charred meat - chicks see a used ashtray.
              3) Grill the veggies - chicks see a guy that can make a side after they've had a hard day.
              4) Tell her about all your grilling screw-ups. It will add humility to the situation and she'll think what you're doing is more difficult than it really is.
              5) Qualify you buyers palate and don't be exotic. Now is not the time to Q something for the first time. Cook her something she knows and do it well. If you follow the other four tips, they'll be plenty of opportunity for brisket, pork cheeks and fish.

              Comment


                #8
                Welcome Schatzi10 !!!
                Sounds like ya fit right in, cookin'-wise!

                Comment


                  #9
                  Welcome aboard! I'm in the Baltimore area.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Welcome from Colorado, John ...

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Welcome to The Pit John.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Welcome to the Pit!

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Welcome aboard.
                          Nice intro. Think you'll get along just fine here.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Welcome from Indiana.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Wish I'd known the art of BBQ seduction like 45 years ago! ;-)

                              Comment

                              Announcement

                              Collapse
                              No announcement yet.
                              Working...
                              X
                              false
                              0
                              Guest
                              Guest
                              500
                              ["pitmaster-my-membership","login","join-pitmaster","lostpw","reset-password","special-offers","help","nojs","meat-ups","gifts","authaau-alpha","ebooklogin-start","alpha","start"]
                              false
                              false
                              Yes
                              ["\/forum\/free-deep-dive-guide-ebook-downloads","\/forum\/free-deep-dive-guide-ebook-downloads\/1157845-paid-members-download-your-6-deep-dive-guide-ebooks-for-free-here","\/forum\/the-pitcast","\/forum\/national-barbecue-news-magazine","\/forum\/national-barbecue-news-magazine\/national-barbecue-news-magazine-aa","\/forum\/national-barbecue-news-magazine\/national-barbecue-news-magazine-aa\/bbq-news-magazine-2019-issues","\/forum\/national-barbecue-news-magazine\/national-barbecue-news-magazine-aa\/bbq-news-magazine-2020-issues","\/forum\/national-barbecue-news-magazine\/national-barbecue-news-magazine-aa\/bbq-news-magazine-2021-issues","\/forum\/national-barbecue-news-magazine\/national-barbecue-news-magazine-aa\/bbq-news-magazine-2022-issues","\/forum\/national-barbecue-news-magazine\/national-barbecue-news-magazine-aa\/current-2023-issues","\/forum\/national-barbecue-news-magazine\/national-barbecue-news-magazine-aa\/current-2024-issues","\/forum\/bbq-stars","\/forum\/bbq-stars\/tuffy-stone","\/forum\/bbq-stars\/meathead","\/forum\/bbq-stars\/harry-soo","\/forum\/bbq-stars\/matt-pittman","\/forum\/bbq-stars\/kent-rollins","\/forum\/bbq-stars\/dean-fearing","\/forum\/bbq-stars\/tim-grandinetti","\/forum\/bbq-stars\/kent-phillips-brett-gallaway","\/forum\/bbq-stars\/david-bouska","\/forum\/bbq-stars\/ariane-daguin","\/forum\/bbq-stars\/jack-arnold","\/forum\/free-deep-dive-guide-ebook-downloads\/1165909-trial-members-download-your-free-deep-dive-guide-ebook-here"]
                              /forum/free-deep-dive-guide-ebook-downloads/1165909-trial-members-download-your-free-deep-dive-guide-ebook-here