I should not be allowed around stand mixers this evening....

[Michael_in_TX]

I just nearly had two catastrophes, both of my own doing.

I'm making pizza dough tonight. I put the ingredients into the mixer bowl, with the bread flour on top. Now, I, of course, know that I want to start the mixer on a slow speed so I don't get flour everywhere. So I reach over to first engage the head locking mechanism with a deft flick of my hand.

I just make one little error. With the bowl facing you, the locking mechanism is on the right; the speed control is on the left. I flicked the left switch, instantly bringing the mixer to a 3 or 4 speed.

After I had changed clothes and swept up most of the flour, I continued. I thought to myself, if that was the dumbest thing I did all evening, I'm doing pretty good. (Narrator: Foreshadowing, it was not.) This time, I engaged the lock switch on the right, then let the mixer go at a 1 speed to incorporate everything, then kicked it up to a 5 speed to do the bulk of the kneading.

I then got distracted. We had brought some grass in from outside for the cats to play with earlier in the day and they had just made a mess of that. After I had gathered the last piece, I realized quite a number of minutes had gone by. I looked up and to my abject and absolute horror, the stand mixer is within seconds of walking itself off the countertop and crashing onto the ceramic tile below!

I honestly did not know I could move so fast in my late forties.

I got to it before it walked off, thankfully and I felt so stupid; I know these things walk! They always walk at high speed! From this point forward, I did not leave that mixer's presence until I had kneaded the dough to where I wanted it.

I think I will stay out of the kitchen for the rest of the night. The funny thing is, my wife is upstairs and has no idea of what has transpired. Her only clue will be one of our grey cats looks like he got into a bit of flour....

[RonB]

It didn't happen without a video posted here.

[Michael_in_TX]

We have some of the Wyze cameras in the house to keep track of the cats, but alas....the two in the living room were tilted away from all of the action.

[SmokeyGator]

I should not be allowed near anything without supervision.

This is why I got married. It was a survival tactic Left to my own devices, I would certainly be dead by now.

[tamidw]

I’ve gotten covered in flour before too. All you can do is laugh! But the mixer almost walking off the counter… that’d be scary.

[BourBonQ]

Never had a pet cat, so help me out with the grass thing... the curiosity is killing me!

[Michael_in_TX]

Cats like grass for two reasons.....the scent/flavor (although you have to do this sparingly as too much will get you into hairball city) and also....it's a toy.

[acorgihouse]

I wondered this too, and I've had many cats!

[captainlee]

What's going to happen when you bake the pizza in a hot oven? Don't want to be around for that one.

[Michael_in_TX]

You'll see a post from me entitled, "best way to pay fire insurance home deductible?"

[58limited]

You might want to hire a professional to sharpen your kitchen knives

[Michael_in_TX]

This seems like a wise idea for a great many reasons.

[MattTheGR8]

I actually have let my mixer walk away. The mixer and floor both still wear scars to this day.

[Michael_in_TX]

I keep imagine what my floor (and mixer) would look like when something that heavy and that metal impacts ceramic tile after accelerating for 4 ft at 9.8m/s/s.

[STEbbq]

Well, at least it wasn’t your hair involved!

[Michael_in_TX]

This brings back memories of getting my hair caught in computer fans.....

[MBMorgan]

We have a 40+ year old Kitchenaid stand mixer that developed a bad habit of wandering all over the place. Fortunately, it's never made it over the counter's edge (quite).

Recently, it dawned on me that it might be interesting to inspect its rubber feet ... which turned out to have become grimy and slick over the years. I removed them, soaked them in soapy water for a few hours, then scrubbed them clean with the rough side of a dish sponge.

They are now just as grippy as they were when new ... and the mixer hasn't moved an inch since.

For not thinking of this rather obvious solution sooner, I award myself the What Would Homer Say GIF of Shame:

[Michael_in_TX]

That is an excellent suggestion. I need inspect mine. There is also the possibility of affixing some grippier surface to the feet if I need to.

[MBMorgan]

Michael_in_TX - If you decide to do this, be careful if you lay the mixer on its side. It will dribble grease/oil (food grade, I've read) so make sure you lay it on something absorbent or you'll be chasing grease all over for the next few weeks. Better yet, figure out how to keep it upright while you remove its feet (or just figure out how to clean them without removing).

[Michael_in_TX]

MBMorgan This thing is now 25 years old. It is starting to leak grease, food-grade as you said. The motion of the motor seems to "pull the grease up" back into itself when running so I have never had any instance in which it has gotten onto the food. Still, I plan on taking it to a nearby KitchenAid service center to have it repaired in the next month or so.

[smokenoob]

You are one mixed up dude!

[Michael_in_TX]

Accurate.