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Let's share "Funny Or Absurd News Headlines"

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    Let's share "Funny Or Absurd News Headlines"

    I regularly find hilarious or absurd (or both) news headlines, and thought a topic devoted to compiling them would be fun. Often times they begin with the words "Florida man..." but not always. PLEASE do not let this become political, that's not what this is for.

    Share your news headline, copy & pasted from its source and with the link to the article if you can.

    #2
    I'll start with

    "Man dresses as bush to sneak out during coronavirus lockdown". https://www.foxnews.com/lifestyle/ma...virus-lockdown

    Comment


    • Dewesq55
      Dewesq55 commented
      Editing a comment
      That was funny, but it seemed fake.

    • JimLinebarger
      JimLinebarger commented
      Editing a comment
      George, Jeb or Jenna?

    • Mr. Bones
      Mr. Bones commented
      Editing a comment
      JimLinebarger Ha, I was thinkin along those lines as well, only Daddy, or Bush Jr...

    #3
    I've always found this to be a Great source of humour:--->>>https://www.theonion.com/
    Enjoy, yall...
    Last edited by Mr. Bones; March 31, 2020, 02:25 PM.

    Comment


    • Mr. Bones
      Mr. Bones commented
      Editing a comment
      ecowper Thanks, amigo! I'll be checkin em out.
      Humour is Super Important to me, as vital as water, itself, to sustain oneself...
      Be safe an git well, there!

    • Henrik
      Henrik commented
      Editing a comment
      The Onion is pure gold, a long time fan!

    • Mr. Bones
      Mr. Bones commented
      Editing a comment
      Henrik Yup, agreed, Brother Hank!!!
      Been readin em, more'n 20 years!
      Great Stuff, an that's comin from a purty funny man!

    #4
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    • Steve B
      Steve B commented
      Editing a comment
      I don’t think that’s how I would want to get into the news. 😂😂

    • Steve R.
      Steve R. commented
      Editing a comment
      Apparently it gets better, if you believe that last part. lol

    • Mr. Bones
      Mr. Bones commented
      Editing a comment
      Steve B Yup, there's most likely better paths to fame, international recognition, I'd reckon lol!

    #5
    I collect these things .... here's a few of my faves

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    • Steve B
      Steve B commented
      Editing a comment
      Priceless 🤣🤣

    • Mr. Bones
      Mr. Bones commented
      Editing a comment
      Why hallucinogens are not only inadvisable, they's downright illegal...

    #6
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      #7
      Many years ago, as a teenager in the early 60's, I saw an item in our local paper which even today still cracks me up whenever I think about it. Sadly, I no longer have the clipping but I quote:

      "Astronomers Discover Five Rings Around Uranus"

      There are apparently several ways to pronounce it but the first one I though of is one of them.

      Comment


        #8
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        Comment


        • Huskee
          Huskee commented
          Editing a comment
          The first time I discovered a wet brined chop grilled to 140 I was too

        #9

        Comment


        • Huskee
          Huskee commented
          Editing a comment
          Dirty little secret? Cement!

        • Mr. Bones
          Mr. Bones commented
          Editing a comment
          Dayum, am I ever relieved!
          I thought it had some good flavour, but Main, was it ever kinda gritty, like!!!!

        • 58limited
          58limited commented
          Editing a comment
          Along those lines a cookbook printed in Australia a few years back was recalled due to a typo in one of the recipes: Instead of Ground Black Pepper it called for Ground Black People.

        #10
        Man accused in 100 mph chase: He was teaching a dog to drive

        https://www.heraldnet.com/news/man-a...-dog-to-drive/

        Comment


        • TJMagneto
          TJMagneto commented
          Editing a comment
          That'll eventually show up on a Farmer's insurance commercial.

        #11
        Playing on wu7y's above:

        "Oct 1, 2008 - This beautiful image of Uranus was captured by NASA's Voyager 2 spacecraft during its 1986 flyby. It was actually three images .."

        There's gotta be a 'yo momma' joke in there too somewhere.

        Comment


        • Mr. Bones
          Mr. Bones commented
          Editing a comment
          LOL!!!
          Easy, Mister!!!
          Th Mods'll git ya lol!!!!

        • wu7y
          wu7y commented
          Editing a comment
          Huskee, I just can't do it, although it's tempting. Too much like shooting fish in a barrel.

        #12
        Only because it involves magnets.
        https://www.bbc.com/news/world-australia-52094804

        Comment


          #13
          Turning into Jay Leno, Huskee? ​​​​​​
          I'll keep my eyes open.

          Comment


          • Huskee
            Huskee commented
            Editing a comment
            I won't quit my day job.

          • Mr. Bones
            Mr. Bones commented
            Editing a comment
            Good, cause we need ya, Brother!!!
            Be Strong, stay safe an well!!!!

          #14
          Being a resident of Texas and absolutely love all things involving Mexican food, this headline is not only absurd but quite disturbing;

          Comment


          • Huskee
            Huskee commented
            Editing a comment
            That's like calling Dickey's "BBQ". Food might be tasty and hit the spot, but come on...

          • FireMan
            FireMan commented
            Editing a comment
            Know the feeling. When I moved to Wisconsin 30yrs ago from Detroit I was greeted with a headline of Pizza Hut voted as Milwaukee’s best pizza. I cringed.

          • Huskee
            Huskee commented
            Editing a comment
            I just went for a 10-mins-until-close late night Taco Bell run last night. Wife & I's guilty pleasure. Never do I eat TB and think "good Mexican", but I think 'really good 11pm TV watching food'.

          #15

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