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Humor (Jan Stories) - Not Quite Miss Daisy, But Close

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  • gdsim1
    Club Member
    • Jan 2017
    • 173
    • KC MO
    • Tryin' not to light my beard on fire east of KC MO. Pit Barrel Cooker for smokin', Char-Griller for grillin' and the cutest little no-name instant read thermometer you've ever seen to keep me from screwin' up!

    Humor (Jan Stories) - Not Quite Miss Daisy, But Close

    Another memory of my girlfriend’s mom Jan - early 70’s years young, absolutely hell on wheels, and if she thinks something, she’s gonna let it fly. Absolute gem, and I love her to pieces. 💖

    One day during an annual family gathering at Jan’s place, my girlfriend developed a killer neck ache. Jan recommends a day spa she’s fond of, and the plan is to drop the love of my life off, spin over to hit Costco, and pick my sweetie up after. Girlfriend’s eldest sister decides to come along for the ride.

    I suppose this this is a good spot to mention that Jan lives in a different city, which is one that I’m wholly unfamiliar with. 🤔

    We take my rental car. I’m driving of course, Jan is in the passenger seat, and eldest sister is in the back. First waypoint, no problem - girlfriend is dropped off at the day spa for her massage, and Jan directs me to get back on the same road we came in on.

    Sis and I are engaged in polite chit chat, Jan is gazing out the passenger side window apparently lost in thought. After some time of this as we’re cruising down the road, Jan reaches up with a knuckle and raps on the passenger window twice. Since she’s been lost in thought gazing out said window for the past few miles, I take this to mean she just remembered something.

    Wrongo...

    Jan: You missed your turn.

    Me: What turn?

    Jan: I knocked.

    Me: That means turn?

    Jan: That means RIGHT turn. What did you think it meant?

    (I look at sis in the rear view mirror in a “Is she kidding me???” manner. Sis is biting her tongue to stifle her laughter.)

    Jan: Now you’ll have to do a loopty.

    Me: A What???

    Jan: A LOOPTY!

    Me: You mean a U-turn?

    Sis: Yeah! 😃 A LOOPTY! 😃 You know, turn around and go the other way in the hoopty! 😃

    Me and Sis: 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

    Jan: A$$holes.

    Me: Do you need a hula hoopty to pull a loopty in a hoopty in this town?

    Me and Sis: 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

    Jan: A$$HOLES!!! 😡

    After Sis and I get our cackling under control...

    Me: Jan, if I have to make a LEFT hand turn, are you going to rap me in the noggin twice? 😉

    Jan: That’s a good idea. And I’m about to give you about five left turns in a row if you don’t knock it off buddy!

    Me and Sis: 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

    Jan: A$$holes... I’m SURROUNDED by a$$holes... 🙄

    Never a dull moment with this lady! 😊
  • ofelles
    Club Member
    • Jun 2018
    • 1795
    • Brentwood CA
    • Yoder YS640 on Comp cart
      Klose 20x42 Charcoal Grill
      LSG Insulated Cabinet
      Jumbo Joe
      VacMaster Pro 380 sealer
      FireBoard and Pit Bull fan
      Thermoworks Signal
      Thermoworks Dot
      Thermopen Mk4

    #2
    Jan is a jewel. At least if you have a good sense of humor and lots of skin!

    Comment


    • gdsim1
      gdsim1 commented
      Editing a comment
      I guess I qualify... I don’t understand how anyone could be around her and NOT laugh themselves silly. 💖
  • Mr. Bones
    Birthday Hat Master
    • Sep 2016
    • 8926
    • Kansas Territory
    • Grills / Smokers
      *********************************************

      Kingsford 24" grill (Free) 'Billy'
      Brinkmann Smoke n Grill
      Oklahoma Joe Highland, gaskets, LavaLock baffle / tuning plate. 'Big Joe'
      Weber 18" Kettle ($30 CL) 'Lil' Feller'
      Weber Smokey Joe ($25 CL) 'Lil' Brother'
      Weber 22.5 Master Touch '93 P Code Blue($85) from fellow WKC member Bmitch 'Elwood'
      Weber 22.5 Bar-B-Q Kettle '69-'70 "Patent Pending" Red ($80) from fellow WKC member dwnthehatch 'Maureen'
      Weber 22.5 OTS DD Code Black ($40 CL) 'DeeDee'
      Weber 22.5 OTS DO Code Black ($15 CL)
      Weber 22.5 OTS E Code Black ($20 CL
      Weber 22.5 OTS EE Code Black ($20 CL

      Weber "C" Code 18.5" WSM '81 ($50 CL) 8-0!!!
      Weber "H" Code 18.5" WSM '86 ($75 CL)
      Weber " " Code 18.5" WSM

      Weber 26.75, $199 NFM clearance !!!
      Weber SJS AH 'Lil' Brother'
      Weber SJS AT 'Lil' Sister'
      Weber SJS DE Code (FREE) 'Lil' Helper'
      Weber SJG M Code 'Lil Traveller'
      Weber SJS AH Code 'Kermit'
      (Lime Green)
      Horizon 20" Classic, w/baffle/tuning plate (FREE)
      Good One Open Range, (FREE), Monthly Prize from AR giveaway!!!!



      Thermometers:
      *********************************************
      Ol' Skool Bi-metal probe pocket thermo, that has checked / served ~ 1,000,000 meals in my possession, easily...
      Maverick ET-732, (Black)
      Thermopops, (Red, Yellow, Green)
      ThermaPen Mk4 (Black), THANKS!!! to jgjeske1
      Blue ThermaPen Mk4
      Orange Thermapen Mk4
      Pink Thermapen Mk4
      ThermoWorks IR-GUN-S
      ThermoWorks Smoke
      ThermoWorks Open Box Smoke
      4 Pro Series cable extensions
      Smoke Gateway

      Accessories:
      *********************************************
      2 Slow 'N Sears, Slow 'N Sear XL, Grill 'N Griddle
      BBQ Vortex, 2 Hovergrills, Top Deck
      Warming shelf
      MyWeigh KD-8000Kitchen Scale
      Backyard Grill marinade injector
      Acoustic Guitars/Electric Guitars/Basses/1928 National Duolian/Harmonicas/Banjo Washboard, Spoons, kazoos, pocket comb with wax paper, egg shakers ;-)
      Bear Paws
      Meat Rakes
      BBQ Dragon/Chimley of Insanity, Dragon Wing Shelves (x2 ea.)



      Cookware:
      Probably a ton of cast iron, mostly very old...still cookin'
      G'Ma's Piqua skillet, :-)( They went out of business in 1934~)
      '60's Revere Ware (Mom's), + others found elsewhere
      60's CorningWare 10-cup percolator (Mom's) Daily driver
      50's CorningWare 10-cup percolator (G'Ma's), for a backup! ;-)
      Carpy Wally World stock pots, in approx 2 gal/3gal sizes, blue speckledty-porcelain enameled
      Tramontina 6.5 qt Dutch Oven

      Cutlery, etc.:
      Shi*-ton of kitchen/chef knives, most sharper than my straight-razors are. (Better steel!) Chicago Cutlery, Old Hickory, various, including some nice German stuff ;-)
      Dexter 12" slicing knife, 6" Sani-Safe boning knife
      Smith's Tri-Hone Natural Arkansas Knife Sharpening System
      Multiple steels, from all over the planet
      Crock sticks
      Diamond stones, various
      Lansky Sharpening System

      Tableware
      Daily driver:Washington Forge Mardi Gras, Navy / Cobalt Blue
      Dinner: Guests: Washington Forge, Town and Country
      Fancy / Formal: Family silverware

    #3
    Tellin ya, A National Treasure, that there Lady!

    Comment


    • Mr. Bones
      Mr. Bones commented
      Editing a comment
      Sainthood, while She seems well deservin of, well, Hail, Brother...
      B'twixt me, yerself, an th wall...
      We'd Never hear th End of That, dontcha reckon lol?
      gdsim1

    • Mr. Bones
      Mr. Bones commented
      Editing a comment
      Saint Jan, that there DO have kinda have a Ring to it, though, now that yall mention it!
      gdsim1

    • gdsim1
      gdsim1 commented
      Editing a comment
      Oh Lord Mr. Bones, we’d NEVER hear the end of it...

      Me: Hey Jan, do you -

      Jan: Hm Uhm, SAINT Jan?

      Me: Yes ma’am. 🙄 SAINT Jan, do you...

      😂😂😂😂😂

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