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  • ribeyeguy
    Charter Member
    • Jun 2015
    • 1302
    • S. E. Wisconsin
    • Weber Platinum Performer, 18"WSM, Smokenator, Slow 'n Sear.

    Food Fails

    Okay, we've all ruined something on the grill, what's your worst? This is me on the grill heating up a pre-cooked New Years Day ham with peach and orange wood just this past New Year. It turned out horrible, way overcooked and burnt tasting.

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    Even my dog is looking at me thinking "what the hell are you doing?". I don't have pictures of the end result but suffice it to say, it was pretty ugly. So, what have you ruined recently?
  • customtrim
    Former Member
    • Dec 2016
    • 1119
    • stow ohio

    #2
    Way to many to list. Now if I try something I call it a guinea pig cook as I get someone else to try and get there opinions. I have a big one coming up in two weeks not only on the grill but on the stove to do a desert for a valentine day dinner

    Comment

    • Spinaker
      Moderator
      • Nov 2014
      • 10855
      • Land of Tonka
      • John "J R"
        Instagram: JRBowlsby
        Smokin' Hound Que
        Minnesota/ United States of America

        ********************************************
        Assistants
        Dexter (Beagle mix)
        Kinnick (American Foxhound)
        ************************

        Grills/Smokers/Fryers
        Big Green Egg (Large) X3
        Blackstone 36" Outdoor Griddle 4-Burner

        Karubeque C-60
        Kamado Joe Jr. (Black)
        Lodge L410 Hibachi
        Pit Barrel Cooker
        Pit Barrel Cooker 2.0
        R&V Works FF2-R-ST 4-Gallon Fryer

        Weber Spirit Gasser
        ******************.
        Thermometers
        FireBoard (Base Package)
        Thermoworks ThermaPen (Red)
        Thermoworks MK4 (Orange)
        **************

        Accessories
        Big Green Egg Plate Setter
        Benzomatic TS4000 Torch X 2
        Benzomatic TS800 High Temp Torch X 2

        Bayou Classic 44 qt Stainless Stock Pot
        Bayou Classic 35K BTU Burner

        Digi Q DX2 (Medium Pit Viper Fan)
        Dragon VT 2-23 C Torch
        Eggspander Kit X2
        Field Skillet No. 8,10,12

        Finex Cat Iron Line
        FireBoard Drive
        Lots and Lots of Griswold Cast Iron
        Grill Grates
        Joule Water Circulator
        KBQ Fire Grate

        Kick Ash Basket (KAB) X4
        Lots of Lodge Cast Iron
        Husky 6 Drawer BBQ Equipment Cabinet
        Large Vortex
        Marlin 1894 .44 Magnum
        Marquette Castings No. 13 (First Run)
        Smithey No. 12
        Smokeware Chimney Cap X 3
        Stargazer No.10, 12
        Tool Wizard BBQ Tongs
        Univex Duro 10" Meat Slicer
        ********************************
        Fuel
        FOGO Priemium Lump Charcoal
        Kingsford Blue and White
        Rockwood Lump Charcoal
        Apple, Cherry & Oak Log splits for the C-60
        **************************

        Cutlery
        Buck 119 Special
        Cuda 7' Fillet Knife

        Dexter 12" Brisket Sword
        Global
        Shun
        Wusthof
        *******
        Next Major Purchase
        Lone Star Grillz 24 X 48 Offset

      #3
      I ruined about 20 burger on a friends TEC infrared grill. That thing rips!! I mean they were like hockey pucks. I was amazed at how bad they were. My brother picked one up turned it on its side and knocked it on the plate!!

      It was funny because my friend talked me up too all there people that I was some Pitmaster, BBQ Guru. Lesson learned.

      Comment


      • FireMan
        FireMan commented
        Editing a comment
        Laugh out loud!

        I printed the words out cuz I needed 300 characters. It still wuz extremely funny. Did you grab your suspenders & grin after cooking?

      • Spinaker
        Spinaker commented
        Editing a comment
        Oh they were all saying they were fine, except My brother Jake and his wife, Ana. FireMan

      • Danjohnston949
        Danjohnston949 commented
        Editing a comment
        👍👍😇👍👍
    • Jerod Broussard
      Moderator
      • Jun 2014
      • 9938
      • East Texas
      • Pit Barrel Cooker "Texas Brisket Edition"
        Weber One Touch Premium Copper 22" Kettle (gift)
        Slow 'n Sear for 22" Kettle
        Weber One Touch Premium Black 26" Kettle (gift)
        Slow 'n Sear XL for 26" Kettle (gift)
        Weber Smokey Joe Gold
        Weber Rapid Fire Chimney
        Vortex
        Maverick ET-732 White
        Maverick ET-732 Copper
        2- Auber SYL-1615 fan systems(Awesome!!!!!!!!)
        Thermoworks Thermapen w/ Back light (gift)
        Thermoworks Timestick
        Cambro Model 300MPC110 w/ Winco SS Pans
        B & B and Kingsford Charcoal
        B & B Pellets

      #4
      I almost ruined a brisket the other night, actually the edges were dried out and ruined. Been working 12-hour shifts and 6 days a week. I knew it was going over but I really didn't feel like getting up and I knew most of it could be salvaged.

      I was cooking fat cap up with the slow and sear even the bottom was "over-barked" without flipping.

      Comment

      • tbob4
        Charter Member
        • Nov 2014
        • 2511
        • Chico, CA
        • BBQ's
          _____________________
          California Custom Smokers Intensive Cooking Unit
          California Custom Smokers Meat Locker
          Santa Maria Grill
          Vision Grill

          Beer
          _______________________
          Sierra Nevada IPA

          Wood
          _______________________
          Almond
          Oak
          Madrone
          Cherry
          Peach
          Apple

        #5
        I've told this here as a caution to others before. I was not going to pay butcher prices for brisket anymore and couldn't get any at the market or Costco. So I decided I would just use a corned beef flat from Costco and treated it as I normally would for brisket. Hours upon hours of smoking later I had a succulent looking piece of meat. 1 slice and I was spitting salt into the sink. I've been told here that if rinse it overnight it will work. Luckily I haven't had to because Costco has begun selling prime brisket here at very good prices.

        Comment

        • FireMan
          Charter Member
          • Jul 2015
          • 8061
          • Bottom of Winnebago

          #6
          I honestly can say I have'nt killed any thing dead on the grill since I joined AR. Now, before AR, let me count the ways. I was exceptionally notorious for my murdering of chicken. I mean moisture, what moisture, but at least the pieces had a nice black crust on them. My burgers were always well done, although not like Spinaker did at his show off cook for his friend. Cross my fingers, hope I don't do that again with anything. I do know though it is a matter of time, cuz the more you do something the cockier we get.

          Comment


          • Spinaker
            Spinaker commented
            Editing a comment
            Hahahahajhahahahaha. Felt like such an idiot
        • lonnie mac
          Club Member
          • Jul 2016
          • 1351
          • Bacliff, TX
          • Motovlogging for the freedom of old Hippies...

            https://www.youtube.com/c/LonnieMac

            Home of Brutus Ten!

            http://www.alenuts.com/Alenuts/Alenuts.html

            Pits:

            Weber Performer Deluxe W/ SNS, Craycort CI grates

            WSCGC (Weber Summit Charcoal Grill Center W/ SNS Plus, DNG

            Texas Original Pits Offset Smoker

            RecTec 590

            WSM 18" W/ Upside-down door mod

            Camp Chief Flattop, The big one...

            Weber Genesis II S-335

            Texas Fire Pit

            Thermos:

            Maveric's Most all of em...
            FireBoard W/ Fan Control, GURU Fan
            ThermoWorks, most all of em...
            Meater

          #7
          Ha! Too many to list here too. But some years ago, I had the bright idea to go out and buy one of them real expensive "Country Hams". You know, the one that comes in a cloth bag. I had no IDEA they would turn out that salty! Made for some great pics though, but man, that was about it.

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          Comment


          • lonnie mac
            lonnie mac commented
            Editing a comment
            HA!

          • Steve B
            Steve B commented
            Editing a comment
            Looks like it could be nuclear reactive from the glow coming from within. And what the hell is that thing on the end of your science project. Love it hahaha

          • GadjetGriller
            GadjetGriller commented
            Editing a comment
            Very nice picture, I see what you mean it looks like pure salt dripping off of it on the bottom.
        • RonB
          Club Member
          • Apr 2016
          • 13313
          • Near Richmond VA
          • Weber Performer Deluxe
            SNS
            Pizza insert
            Rotisserie
            Smokenator 1000
            Cookshack Smokette Elite
            2 Thermapens
            Chefalarm
            Dot
            lots of probes.
            CyberQ

          #8
          Well, getting a high temp pizza on the kettle is tougher than I thought. I need to get the pizza stone up to 700* F + to match the air temp. I have done a bunch of "tests" and here is one that was a bit short of "ideal".

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          Comment


          • Jerod Broussard
            Jerod Broussard commented
            Editing a comment
            I'm about to consume pizza and coffee-milk. FireMan

          • RonB
            RonB commented
            Editing a comment
            Jerod Broussard - I ate around the incinerated parts. I probably did ingest a bit of carbon here and there though

          • Jerod Broussard
            Jerod Broussard commented
            Editing a comment
            We're practically walking carbon chains so all is well.
        • lschweig
          Former Member
          • Jul 2014
          • 979
          • Oswego, Il

          #9
          I did a duck on the rotisserie quite a while ago and it came out similar to the turkey for the Griswalds in Christmas Vacation.

          Comment


          • RonB
            RonB commented
            Editing a comment
            lschweig - so your duck wasn't all it was quacked up to be...

          • scottranda
            scottranda commented
            Editing a comment
            ....🤣
        • cgrover60
          Club Member
          • Mar 2016
          • 405
          • Albuquerque NM

          #10
          Many food fails through the years but my most interesting was a cooker fail before I could get to the food. I had this R2D2 style inexpensive smoker with the optional electric heating element which I used exclusively until one day decided to go for charcoal. Filled the charcoal pan and with SOME lighter fluid and got that baby started on the first floor patio of my efficiency apt, went inside to answer the phone and after a few minutes I heard this noise I thought was quite odd. Was sort of a fast thump thump thump thump screaming roar I could easily hear with the patio door closed. Went back outside to find the little smoker shooting a perfectly focused very loud jet engine flame on the second floor patio above. Realizing it was beyond the fire extinguisher phase I grabbed a hot pad and shut the side access door to break up the airflow which stopped the roar and reduced the flame enough to throw the lid on thing. Then sat in fascination (shock?) and watched the orange paint proceed to blacken and melt off the outside but hey it was contained. I think I ordered pizza but for some reason can't remember for sure.

          Comment


          • tbob4
            tbob4 commented
            Editing a comment
            That's a great fail story! I'm laughing because I can see myself in it!

          • vandy
            vandy commented
            Editing a comment
            I am laughing because I did sort of the same thing about 30 years ago and burned part of my wood fence down in the process. Brings back memories! lol

          • Dale Case
            Dale Case commented
            Editing a comment
            LOL !!! That's a great story !!!
        • Willy
          Charter Member
          • Apr 2015
          • 1868
          • High Desert of the Great Southwest

          #11
          The earliest fail I can remember was a pot of chili I made back around 1977. I didn't know what a clove of garlic was and thus put three heads of garlic into the pot. Lot's of peeling, lots of chopping as I didn't own a garlic press. Worse yet, the garlic wasn't sauteed so it was STRONG! An "unusual" pot of chili, to say the least.

          Also, the first turkey I ever did got cooked with the giblets still in the bird.

          Comment


          • SMO
            SMO commented
            Editing a comment
            Anyone that has ever cooked their first turkey has cooked it with the giblets still in the cavity...LOL
        • fzxdoc
          Founding Member
          • Jul 2014
          • 5318
          • My toys:
            Weber Summit Charcoal Grilling Center (WSCGC) aka Mr. Fancypants
            Pit Barrel Cooker (which rocks)
            Weber Summit S650 Gas Grill
            Weber Kettle Premium 22"
            Weber Jumbo Joe Premium 22" (a weird little 22" kettle mutant on 22"-long legs) (donated to local battered women's shelter.)
            Camp Chef Somerset IV 4-burner outdoor gas range


            Adrenaline BBQ Company's SnS, DnG and Large Charcoal Basket for WSCGC
            Adrenaline BBQ Company's Elevated SS Rack for WSCGC
            Adrenaline BBQ Company's SS Rack for DnG
            Grill Grate for SnS
            Grill Grates: five 17.375 sections (retired to storage)
            Grill Grates: six 19.25 panels for exact fit for Summit S650 gasser
            2 Grill Grate Griddles
            Steelmade Griddle for Summit gas grill

            Fireboard Extreme BBQ Thermometer Package
            Fireboard control unit in addition to that in the Extreme BBQ Package
            Additional Fireboard probes: Competition Probes 1" (3) and 4" (1), 3 additional Ambient Probes. 1 additional Food Probe
            2 Fireboard Driver Cables
            Pit Viper Fan (to pair with Fireboard Fan Driver Cable)
            Pit Viper Fan new design (to pair with Fireboard Fan Driver Cable)
            Thermoworks Thermapen MK5 (pink)
            Thermoworks Thermapen MK4 (pink too)
            Thermoworks Temp Test 2 Smart Thermometer
            Thermoworks Extra Big and Loud Timer
            Thermoworks Timestick Trio
            Maverick ET 73 a little workhorse with limited range
            Maverick ET 733
            Maverick (Ivation) ET 732

            Grill Pinz
            Vortex (two of them)

            Two Joule Sous Vide devices
            VacMaster Pro 350 Vacuum Sealer
            Instant Pot 6 Quart Electric Pressure Cooker
            Instant Pot 10 Quart Electric Pressure Cooker
            Charcoal Companion TurboQue
            A-Maze-N tube 12 inch tube smoker accessory for use with pellets

            BBQ Dragon and Dragon Chimney

            Shun Classic 8" Chef's Knife
            Shun Classic 6" Chef's Knife
            Shun Classic Gokujo Boning and Fillet Knife
            Shun Classic 3 1/2 inch Paring Knife

          #12
          There are a couple of other Fail topics which are fun to read through. The search engine only brought up one that had a lot of fails posted:

          https://pitmaster.amazingribs.com/fo...aps-and-oopses

          Two of my favorite Fail posts are from troymeister and Lost in China , respectively. Each time I read them I laugh out loud--laughing with my fellow pitsters, that is. They're really funny stories:

          https://pitmaster.amazingribs.com/fo...3821#post53821

          https://pitmaster.amazingribs.com/fo...1731#post81731

          And then there's Ninja Q 's post on another topic that I already linked to once this past week. It's a funny one too:

          https://pitmaster.amazingribs.com/fo...857#post140857

          I know I must have had some BBQ screwups myself, but can't remember any. I've had many less-than-perfect ones, but no epic fails that I can recall. Must have blocked them from my memory. Ain't selective recall great!

          Kathryn

          PS#1 ribeyeguy , what exactly caused the ham fail? Everything looks fine from the photo. and PS#2:I love that blue kettle of yours.

          Comment

          • Danjohnston949
            Former Member
            • Dec 2014
            • 4418
            • 1410 9th. St. N, Fargo ND

            #13
            ribeyeguy, First I think You need to IMHOP cover the coal grate on the cold side opposite the S 'n S with a Drip 'n Griddle, Baffle or HD Aluminum Foil! This will help reduce Flair Ups! Second always plan Your Cooks so You Feed Your Guests 1-11/2 Hrs Later than they expected to be Fed! They will be so Hungry They Will Swear It's the Best Ever! Worked for Me For Years!
            Eat Well and Prosper! From a Backyard Cremator in Fargo ND, Dan

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            Comment

            • Atalanta
              Club Member
              • Jul 2016
              • 431
              • Barnsley's Ford
              • Grills: 22" Weber (wood handles) (another Weber on the way), Lodge Sportsman "hibachi"
                Smoker: None yet, part of why I joined
                Thermometer: 10+ yr old Taylor digital thermometer with remote
                Sous Vide: Anovo Imersion Circulator (1st gen)
                Coffee Roaster: Hot Top Coffee Roaster
                Adult Beverages: Fighting Cock Bourbon, Leinny Shandy, Troegs Mad Elf

              #14
              cgrover60 Since I can't post pics in comments:

              Comment


              • Obi-Dan
                Obi-Dan commented
                Editing a comment
                This was such an underrated cartoon.
            • ribeyeguy
              Charter Member
              • Jun 2015
              • 1302
              • S. E. Wisconsin
              • Weber Platinum Performer, 18"WSM, Smokenator, Slow 'n Sear.

              #15
              Originally posted by fzxdoc View Post
              There are a couple of other Fail topics which are fun to read through. The search engine only brought up one that had a lot of fails posted:

              https://pitmaster.amazingribs.com/fo...aps-and-oopses

              Two of my favorite Fail posts are from troymeister and Lost in China , respectively. Each time I read them I laugh out loud--laughing with my fellow pitsters, that is. They're really funny stories:

              https://pitmaster.amazingribs.com/fo...3821#post53821

              https://pitmaster.amazingribs.com/fo...1731#post81731

              And then there's Ninja Q 's post on another topic that I already linked to once this past week. It's a funny one too:

              https://pitmaster.amazingribs.com/fo...857#post140857

              I know I must have had some BBQ screwups myself, but can't remember any. I've had many less-than-perfect ones, but no epic fails that I can recall. Must have blocked them from my memory. Ain't selective recall great!

              Kathryn

              PS#1 ribeyeguy , what exactly caused the ham fail? Everything looks fine from the photo. and PS#2:I love that blue kettle of yours.
              Hi Kathryn,

              t was a pre-cooked ham, my wife buys one every year for new years day and just heats it up in the oven. She cooks a lot of other things on new years day so I told her I'd help her out by heating the ham on the grill. I went overboard with the wood and charcoal and turned a pre-cooked ham into a way overcooked ham. It wound up with a black "smoke ring" about an inch deep and the interior was so dry and salty it was like eating a deers salt lick, just horrible.

              I blamed it on the dog, told her that he and I were out playing while it was heating up and I forgot to keep an eye on it. I know she didn't buy it but she acted like she did so I guess it's all good. I'll make it up to her somehow.

              Comment


              • FireMan
                FireMan commented
                Editing a comment
                Honey, all saws cut wood & your feet sure are pretty!

              • fzxdoc
                fzxdoc commented
                Editing a comment
                Oh, I see now, ribeyeguy . So mostly it was not keeping a close enough eye on things. I think blaming the whole thing on the dog is a great idea. He lured you away from your post.

            Announcement

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            SOLD OUT! Secure your spot on our waitlist now. First-come, first-served!
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