Jokes!

[Huskee]

Tasteful jokes please....we have audiences from around the world, many religions, and different ages. NO pictures with nudity (real or cartoon), vulgar profanities, X-rated jokes, or other lewd and bawdy subject matter.

Please be considerate of all audiences.

[Huskee]

There was a pirate long ago who was loved by his crew for being so selfless and kind to his crew. H ewould always put their interests above his own. His crew noticed that immediately before entering into a battle he would change his garb into a bright red shirt. No one thought to much of this, but one day one of his mates asked him why this is so. "Arrr", replied, "So that that if I get wounded in battle me crew won't see blood and be frightened."

Just then the lookout yelled "Captain, there are six enemy ships on the horizon!" Cannons are firing at us Cap'n!! What should we do?!?"

"First fetch me my brown pants!"

[Jon Solberg]

Three elderly men are at the doctor's office for a memory test. The doctor asks the first man,

"What is three times three?" "274," came the reply.

The doctor rolls his eyes and says to the second man, "It's your turn. What is three times three?"

"Tuesday," replies the second man. The doctor shakes his head sadly, then asks the third man, "Okay, your turn. What's three times three?"

"Nine," says the third man. "That's great!" says the doctor. "How did you get that?"

"Simple," he says, "just subtract 274 from Tuesday."

[FLBuckeye]

How do you get the guy from the U of Michigan off of your front porch? Pay him for the pizza

What do you have if you have 32 people from the U of Michigan? A full set of teeth

College football is almost here!!!

Go Buckeyes!!!

[Powersmoke_80]

What happens when Ohio State chokes?
they GO BLUE!

[David Parrish]

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?"

"Impatient Cow"

"Impatien...?"

"MOOOOOOO!"

[Henrik]

You know why you shouldn't fart in church? Cause you have to sit in the pew...

[BruceB]

Johnny was a pit boss
but he isn't any more -
What he thought was NaCl
was really NaClO

(Stolen from the traditional "Johnny was a chemist ...")

[archer2010]

Ever notice when a chevron of geese flies over that one side is usually longer than the other? Know why? There are more geese on that side. (Groan)

[fracmeister]

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[fracmeister]

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[Huskee]

fracmeister, let's use the attachment icon instead of the camera icon, then those of us with bad eyes can see large pics!

[boftx]

Why don't they drink iced tea anymore at Texas A&M?

The who knew how to make the ice cubes graduated.

[Jerod Broussard]

This joke does better at a slaughtet house...especially one that processes about 260,000 chickens/day....anywho...

Question: What do the entrails of a processed animal smell like?

Answer: They smell offal.

[Jerod Broussard]

I was going to post a joke about pizza, but then I realized it was too cheesey.