Jokes!

Huskee

Administrator

Joined: May 2014

Posts: 15304

Location: central MI, USA

Follow me on Instagram, huskeesbarbecue

Want a free bottle of whiskey? Check out my link to Flaviar.com, you join with it, we both get a $50 bottle free.
Smokers / Grills
Yoder loaded Wichita offset smoker

PBC

Grilla Silverbac pellet grill

Slow 'N Sear Deluxe Kamado (SnSK)

Dyna-Glo XL Premium dual chamber charcoal grill

Weber 22" Original Kettle Premium (copper)

Weber 26" Original Kettle Premium (black)

Weber Jumbo Joe Gold (18.5")

Weber Smokey Joe Silver (14.5")

Brinkmann cabinet charcoal smoker (repurposed)

Thermometers
(3) Maverick XR-50: 4-probe Wireless Thermometers

(7) Maverick ET-732s

(1) Maverick ET-735 Bluetooth (in box)

(1) Smoke by ThermoWorks

(1) Signals by ThermoWorks

Thermapen MkII, orange

ThermoPop, yellow

ThermoWorks ChefAlarm

Morpilot 6-probe wireless

ThermoWorks Infrared IRK2

ThermoWorks fridge & freezer therms as well

Accessories
Instant Pot 6qt

Anova Bluetooth SV

Kitchen Aide mixer & meat grinder attachment

Kindling Cracker King (XL)

BBQ Dragon

Weber full & half chimneys, Char-Broil Half Time chimney

Weber grill topper

Slow 'N Sear Original, XL, and SnS Charcoal Basket (for Jumbo Joe)

Drip 'N Griddle Pan, 22' Easy Spin Grate, and Elevated Cooking grate, by ABCbarbecue

Pittsburgh Digital Moisture Meter

Beverages
Favorite summer beer: Leinenkugels Summer & Grapefruit Shandy, Hamm's, Michelob Ultra Pure Gold

Fav other beer: DAB, Sam Adams regular, Third Shift amber or Coors Batch 19, Stella Artois

Fav cheap beers: Pabst, High Life, Hamm's & Stroh's

Most favorite beer: The one in your fridge

Wine: Red- big, bold, tannic & peppery- Petite Sirah, Zinfandel, Cabernet Sauv, Sangiovese, Syrah, etc

Whiskey: Buffalo Trace, Eagle Rare, E.H. Taylor, Blanton's, Old Forester 1870, Elijah Craig, Basil Hayden's. Neat please.

Scotch: Current favorite- The Arran (anything by them), Glenmorangie 12yr Lasanta, sherry cask finished. The Balvenie Double Wood, also like Oban 18yr, and The Glenlivet Nadurra (Oloroso sherry cask finished) among others. Neat please.

About me
Real name: Aaron
Location: Farwell, Michigan- near Clare. (dead center of lower peninsula)

Occupation:
Healthcare- Licensed & Registered Respiratory Therapist (RRT) for MidMichigan Health, a University of Michigan Health System.
#1

Jokes!

August 22, 2014, 08:54 PM

Tasteful jokes please....we have audiences from around the world, many religions, and different ages. NO pictures with nudity (real or cartoon), vulgar profanities, X-rated jokes, or other lewd and bawdy subject matter.

Please be considerate of all audiences.
Tags: None

2 likes
Huskee

Administrator

Joined: May 2014

Posts: 15304

Location: central MI, USA

Follow me on Instagram, huskeesbarbecue

Want a free bottle of whiskey? Check out my link to Flaviar.com, you join with it, we both get a $50 bottle free.
Smokers / Grills
Yoder loaded Wichita offset smoker

PBC

Grilla Silverbac pellet grill

Slow 'N Sear Deluxe Kamado (SnSK)

Dyna-Glo XL Premium dual chamber charcoal grill

Weber 22" Original Kettle Premium (copper)

Weber 26" Original Kettle Premium (black)

Weber Jumbo Joe Gold (18.5")

Weber Smokey Joe Silver (14.5")

Brinkmann cabinet charcoal smoker (repurposed)

Thermometers
(3) Maverick XR-50: 4-probe Wireless Thermometers

(7) Maverick ET-732s

(1) Maverick ET-735 Bluetooth (in box)

(1) Smoke by ThermoWorks

(1) Signals by ThermoWorks

Thermapen MkII, orange

ThermoPop, yellow

ThermoWorks ChefAlarm

Morpilot 6-probe wireless

ThermoWorks Infrared IRK2

ThermoWorks fridge & freezer therms as well

Accessories
Instant Pot 6qt

Anova Bluetooth SV

Kitchen Aide mixer & meat grinder attachment

Kindling Cracker King (XL)

BBQ Dragon

Weber full & half chimneys, Char-Broil Half Time chimney

Weber grill topper

Slow 'N Sear Original, XL, and SnS Charcoal Basket (for Jumbo Joe)

Drip 'N Griddle Pan, 22' Easy Spin Grate, and Elevated Cooking grate, by ABCbarbecue

Pittsburgh Digital Moisture Meter

Beverages
Favorite summer beer: Leinenkugels Summer & Grapefruit Shandy, Hamm's, Michelob Ultra Pure Gold

Fav other beer: DAB, Sam Adams regular, Third Shift amber or Coors Batch 19, Stella Artois

Fav cheap beers: Pabst, High Life, Hamm's & Stroh's

Most favorite beer: The one in your fridge

Wine: Red- big, bold, tannic & peppery- Petite Sirah, Zinfandel, Cabernet Sauv, Sangiovese, Syrah, etc

Whiskey: Buffalo Trace, Eagle Rare, E.H. Taylor, Blanton's, Old Forester 1870, Elijah Craig, Basil Hayden's. Neat please.

Scotch: Current favorite- The Arran (anything by them), Glenmorangie 12yr Lasanta, sherry cask finished. The Balvenie Double Wood, also like Oban 18yr, and The Glenlivet Nadurra (Oloroso sherry cask finished) among others. Neat please.

About me
Real name: Aaron
Location: Farwell, Michigan- near Clare. (dead center of lower peninsula)

Occupation:
Healthcare- Licensed & Registered Respiratory Therapist (RRT) for MidMichigan Health, a University of Michigan Health System.
#2

August 22, 2014, 09:00 PM

There was a pirate long ago who was loved by his crew for being so selfless and kind to his crew. H ewould always put their interests above his own. His crew noticed that immediately before entering into a battle he would change his garb into a bright red shirt. No one thought to much of this, but one day one of his mates asked him why this is so. "Arrr", replied, "So that that if I get wounded in battle me crew won't see blood and be frightened."

Just then the lookout yelled "Captain, there are six enemy ships on the horizon!" Cannons are firing at us Cap'n!! What should we do?!?"

"First fetch me my brown pants!"
19 likes
Comment
3 - 5

5 comments

#2.3

Notavegan commented

March 15, 2017, 08:48 AM

Editing a comment

Keith all hail the Spaniards!!

#2.4

Foehn Watts commented

May 23, 2019, 01:05 PM

Editing a comment

Speaking of Buccaneers: How does much does a pirate sell corn for? Buck an ear!

Last edited by Foehn Watts; October 10, 2019, 07:01 PM.

1 like

#2.5

Mark V commented

August 15, 2020, 07:18 PM

Editing a comment

Saw a cartoon once where the pirates were in range of a ship and a pirate came up to the captain and said "The cannons be loaded" and the captain said "are" and the rest of the pirates enthusiastically yelled "arrr".

2 likes
Jon Solberg

Former Member

Joined: Jul 2014

Posts: 4819
#3

August 22, 2014, 09:07 PM

Three elderly men are at the doctor's office for a memory test. The doctor asks the first man,

"What is three times three?" "274," came the reply.

The doctor rolls his eyes and says to the second man, "It's your turn. What is three times three?"

"Tuesday," replies the second man. The doctor shakes his head sadly, then asks the third man, "Okay, your turn. What's three times three?"

"Nine," says the third man. "That's great!" says the doctor. "How did you get that?"

"Simple," he says, "just subtract 274 from Tuesday."

Last edited by Jon Solberg; August 23, 2014, 04:00 AM.
22 likes
Comment
4 - 6

6 comments

#3.4

Ate55 commented

January 26, 2017, 06:19 PM

Editing a comment

That was awesome

#3.5

ecully commented

January 28, 2017, 01:19 PM

Editing a comment

Two and a half years later and it's still funny.

#3.6

Jimmie Rhoden commented

April 3, 2017, 11:16 AM

Editing a comment

That's so funny
FLBuckeye

Founding Member

Joined: Jul 2014

Posts: 565

Location: Florida

Brand new 26" Weber kettle. Three Weber 22.5"kettles, An 18" Weber kettle.

Two WSM's, 18.5", one with an extra mid section

Maverick ET 733 and 732. ThermoWorks RT600C Thermometer & Thermoworks MK4. Two PartyQ's

Kingsford blue bag
Royal Oak lump for searing

Have competed in two BBQ comps and plan on more this year

Huge fan of The Ohio State University.
#4

August 23, 2014, 01:43 AM

How do you get the guy from the U of Michigan off of your front porch? Pay him for the pizza

What do you have if you have 32 people from the U of Michigan? A full set of teeth

College football is almost here!!!

Go Buckeyes!!!
7 likes
Comment
6 - 8

8 comments

#4.6

JTpellets commented

February 2, 2018, 08:21 PM

Editing a comment

O h!

#4.7

tenphases commented

December 8, 2019, 10:28 PM

Editing a comment

Lol you win the prize!! Thanks from an MSU alum! Only time i root against the Buckeyes is when they are playing state.

#4.8

fkrall commented

September 27, 2020, 08:10 AM

Editing a comment

Will send to our daughter's in-laws. This post might be my last act on earth.
Powersmoke_80

Founding Member

Joined: Aug 2014

Posts: 886

Location: Bay City, Michigan

Vintage Brinkmann Longhorn Offset Stick burner (newest addition)
Weber 22 w/SnS
Brinkmann Pellet Grill W/ Ortech TR-100
Vermont Castings, gas
Masterbuilt smoker, gas
Future build, 80 gallon tank hybrid, pellet/stick burner
iGrill black, dual probe thermometer
Thermapen instant read
Polder,Speed Read instant thermometer
Favorite Beer, Yeungling Black&Tan
#5

August 23, 2014, 07:49 AM

What happens when Ohio State chokes?
they GO BLUE!
1 like
Comment
1 - 3

3 comments

#5.1

FLBuckeye commented

August 23, 2014, 08:02 AM

Editing a comment

I guess you haven't been paying attention since Tressel arrived in 2001. 11-2 (and the 2011 loss was to the worst OSU team in decades, by less than a TD).
Delusional...lol

#5.2

FLBuckeye commented

April 13, 2015, 03:51 PM

Editing a comment

Make that 12-2

#5.3

FLBuckeye commented

March 25, 2017, 07:09 AM

Editing a comment

Make that 18-2 with 8 in a row

Last edited by FLBuckeye; May 25, 2020, 03:27 PM.
David Parrish

Founding Member - Pit Boss Emeritus

Joined: May 2014

Posts: 5042

Location: Charlotte, NC

S low 'N Sear Kamado (SnSK)

Lots of grills that work with Slow 'N Sear

LOTS of digital thermometers (my fav)

LOTS of accessories

Favorite Beer - Fat Tire

Favorite Bourbon - Woodford Reserve

Favorite White Wine - Cakebread Chardonnay

Favorite Red Wine - Yes, Please

President/Owner - SnS Grills
#6

August 23, 2014, 08:18 AM

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?"

"Impatient Cow"

"Impatien...?"

"MOOOOOOO!"
3 likes
Comment
1 - 2

2 comments

#6.1

Huskee commented

August 24, 2014, 07:57 PM

Editing a comment

My boys love this one and say it just about every day

#6.2

David Parrish commented

August 24, 2014, 08:01 PM

Editing a comment

True story. I was at a basewide combat dining out... I dunno... 17 years ago (I wore a patchless flightsuit save for my nametag and my wife wore a grass skirt and a top made of coconuts) and after having a very good time for many hours decided to tell this knock knock joke to the base commander. I think he actually laughed. He was having a good time too.
Henrik

Founding Member - Moderator Emeritus

Joined: Jul 2014

Posts: 4416

Location: Stockholm, Sweden

Author of the book Barbecue, fire and smoke
Manufacturer of:
Hank's Bonafide Beef Rub
Hank's KC Royale Pork 'n Poultry Rub
Hank's Signature Steak Rub

Grills
Big Green Egg (M)
Weber 22" kettle (lime green)
PK TX
8 noname 22" kettles (black)
"Rude Boy" - my own custom built offset smoker

Thermometers
iGrill 2
Thermapen
Fireboard

Accessories
BBQ Dragon
Slow n' Sear

All my recipes, photos and information can be found at
https://hankstruebbq.com

YouTube channel
https://www.youtube.com/c/Hankstruebbq
#7

August 23, 2014, 09:02 AM

You know why you shouldn't fart in church? Cause you have to sit in the pew...
6 likes
Comment
BruceB

Founding Member

Joined: Aug 2014

Posts: 207

Location: Des Moines WA

Grilla Silverbac Original -2020
aobosi Sous Vide device - 2019
Weber Original Kettle Premium 22" Copper - 2015
Pit Barrel Cooker - 2014 - retired Sept 2020
Brinkmann 4 burner gas grille (very old, stout, and still working well!)
Slow 'n' Sear for 22" kettle
Grill Grates for the gasser
CDN DSP-1 dual sensor probe therm
Maverick ET-732 therm
Thermapop digital therm (x2 red and white)
Thermapen - orange
Little Chief electric cold smoker (lots of salmon thru this!)
#8

August 23, 2014, 12:07 PM

Johnny was a pit boss
but he isn't any more -
What he thought was NaCl
was really NaClO

(Stolen from the traditional "Johnny was a chemist ...")
4 likes
Comment
1 comment

#8.1

Karon Adams commented

April 12, 2015, 10:25 AM

Editing a comment

I was JUST telling HWMO that one. he didn't quite get it (he's an elevator mech/inspector) but, he was at a chem plant recently. I think he was a little upset because he was splainin to me. this place made something that vented SO2 into the air at times. and he was splainin to me how THAT wasn't bad but.... "Yeah, I know, it becomes H2SO$ in your lungs". he was so let down. and I told him that Johnny was a chemist joke. he didn't get it.

maybe THAT'S what happened to my bowl.....
archer2010

Founding Member

Joined: Jul 2014

Posts: 54

Location: South Dakota
#9

August 23, 2014, 12:41 PM

Ever notice when a chevron of geese flies over that one side is usually longer than the other? Know why? There are more geese on that side. (Groan)
6 likes
Comment
1 - 2

2 comments

#9.1

Ate55 commented

January 26, 2017, 06:22 PM

Editing a comment

That's Funny

#9.2

wu7y commented

February 16, 2018, 05:54 PM

Editing a comment

Every time a flight of geese flew over a guy we used to hunt with was fond of saying,, "You know, it's the lead goose that breaks wind for the rest of the flight."
$fracmeister$
fracmeister

Founding Member

Joined: Jul 2014

Posts: 1348

Location: Sprang, TX

Dances with lemmings

(and smokes on a Yoder 640, raises bees and shoots a .408 WIndrunner) "come la notte i furti miei seconda"
#10

August 23, 2014, 01:07 PM

[ATTACH=CONFIG]n12080[/ATTACH]

1 Photo
9 likes
Comment
1 - 3

3 comments

#10.1

Hangman commented

February 13, 2016, 07:01 PM

Editing a comment

"I don't care who you are, that's funny right there"...

#10.2

Dale Case commented

September 19, 2017, 12:04 AM

Editing a comment

Hahaha !!

#10.3

Hawkce541 commented

April 24, 2019, 10:45 AM

Editing a comment

Love it
$fracmeister$
fracmeister

Founding Member

Joined: Jul 2014

Posts: 1348

Location: Sprang, TX

Dances with lemmings

(and smokes on a Yoder 640, raises bees and shoots a .408 WIndrunner) "come la notte i furti miei seconda"
#11

August 23, 2014, 01:08 PM

[ATTACH=CONFIG]n12082[/ATTACH]

1 Photo
5 likes
Comment
1 - 3

3 comments

#11.1

Huskee commented

August 23, 2014, 01:33 PM

Editing a comment

Cat, the other white meat

1 like

#11.2

Mr. Bones commented

September 23, 2016, 08:42 PM

Editing a comment

Or the ever-present, sometimes savory Rat-on-a-Stick frequently encountered, in the P.I., as well as other geographical locations.

1 like

#11.3

DavisBarbecue commented

October 27, 2019, 03:01 PM

Editing a comment

I had the good fortune to eat horse when I was in Italy! It's much like bison but has a very tough membrane you have to trim away. Don't be "horsing" around!
Huskee

Administrator

Joined: May 2014

Posts: 15304

Location: central MI, USA

Follow me on Instagram, huskeesbarbecue

Want a free bottle of whiskey? Check out my link to Flaviar.com, you join with it, we both get a $50 bottle free.
Smokers / Grills
Yoder loaded Wichita offset smoker

PBC

Grilla Silverbac pellet grill

Slow 'N Sear Deluxe Kamado (SnSK)

Dyna-Glo XL Premium dual chamber charcoal grill

Weber 22" Original Kettle Premium (copper)

Weber 26" Original Kettle Premium (black)

Weber Jumbo Joe Gold (18.5")

Weber Smokey Joe Silver (14.5")

Brinkmann cabinet charcoal smoker (repurposed)

Thermometers
(3) Maverick XR-50: 4-probe Wireless Thermometers

(7) Maverick ET-732s

(1) Maverick ET-735 Bluetooth (in box)

(1) Smoke by ThermoWorks

(1) Signals by ThermoWorks

Thermapen MkII, orange

ThermoPop, yellow

ThermoWorks ChefAlarm

Morpilot 6-probe wireless

ThermoWorks Infrared IRK2

ThermoWorks fridge & freezer therms as well

Accessories
Instant Pot 6qt

Anova Bluetooth SV

Kitchen Aide mixer & meat grinder attachment

Kindling Cracker King (XL)

BBQ Dragon

Weber full & half chimneys, Char-Broil Half Time chimney

Weber grill topper

Slow 'N Sear Original, XL, and SnS Charcoal Basket (for Jumbo Joe)

Drip 'N Griddle Pan, 22' Easy Spin Grate, and Elevated Cooking grate, by ABCbarbecue

Pittsburgh Digital Moisture Meter

Beverages
Favorite summer beer: Leinenkugels Summer & Grapefruit Shandy, Hamm's, Michelob Ultra Pure Gold

Fav other beer: DAB, Sam Adams regular, Third Shift amber or Coors Batch 19, Stella Artois

Fav cheap beers: Pabst, High Life, Hamm's & Stroh's

Most favorite beer: The one in your fridge

Wine: Red- big, bold, tannic & peppery- Petite Sirah, Zinfandel, Cabernet Sauv, Sangiovese, Syrah, etc

Whiskey: Buffalo Trace, Eagle Rare, E.H. Taylor, Blanton's, Old Forester 1870, Elijah Craig, Basil Hayden's. Neat please.

Scotch: Current favorite- The Arran (anything by them), Glenmorangie 12yr Lasanta, sherry cask finished. The Balvenie Double Wood, also like Oban 18yr, and The Glenlivet Nadurra (Oloroso sherry cask finished) among others. Neat please.

About me
Real name: Aaron
Location: Farwell, Michigan- near Clare. (dead center of lower peninsula)

Occupation:
Healthcare- Licensed & Registered Respiratory Therapist (RRT) for MidMichigan Health, a University of Michigan Health System.
#12

August 23, 2014, 01:34 PM

fracmeister, let's use the attachment icon instead of the camera icon, then those of us with bad eyes can see large pics!
Comment
boftx

Founding Member

Joined: Jul 2014

Posts: 911

Location: Las Vegas, NV

CharGriller Pro COS
Oklahoma Joe COS
Maverick 732 thermometer
Red Thermapen
Favorite beer: Scotch

I know I make damn good BBQ cause my 3 dogs have NEVER said no to it. (OTOH, my 13yr old says no to just about everything, except my ribs.)
#13

August 23, 2014, 06:25 PM

Why don't they drink iced tea anymore at Texas A&M?

The who knew how to make the ice cubes graduated.
4 likes
Comment
1 comment

#13.1

jwb1962 commented

July 1, 2017, 06:22 PM

Editing a comment

Only a T-sip could butcher a punchline like that...LOL

1 like
Jerod Broussard

Moderator

Joined: Jun 2014

Posts: 9866

Location: East Texas

Pit Barrel Cooker "Texas Brisket Edition"
Weber One Touch Premium Copper 22" Kettle (gift)
Slow 'n Sear for 22" Kettle
Weber One Touch Premium Black 26" Kettle (gift)
Slow 'n Sear XL for 26" Kettle (gift)
Weber Smokey Joe Gold
Weber Rapid Fire Chimney
Vortex
Maverick ET-732 White
Maverick ET-732 Copper
2- Auber SYL-1615 fan systems(Awesome!!!!!!!!)
Thermoworks Thermapen w/ Back light (gift)
Thermoworks Timestick
Cambro Model 300MPC110 w/ Winco SS Pans
B & B and Kingsford Charcoal
B & B Pellets
#14

August 23, 2014, 07:08 PM

This joke does better at a slaughtet house...especially one that processes about 260,000 chickens/day....anywho...

Question: What do the entrails of a processed animal smell like?

Answer: They smell offal.
3 likes
Comment
1 comment

#14.1

bbqLuv commented

October 19, 2020, 01:21 PM

Editing a comment

Happiness is a Warm Offal pile.
Jerod Broussard

Moderator

Joined: Jun 2014

Posts: 9866

Location: East Texas

Pit Barrel Cooker "Texas Brisket Edition"
Weber One Touch Premium Copper 22" Kettle (gift)
Slow 'n Sear for 22" Kettle
Weber One Touch Premium Black 26" Kettle (gift)
Slow 'n Sear XL for 26" Kettle (gift)
Weber Smokey Joe Gold
Weber Rapid Fire Chimney
Vortex
Maverick ET-732 White
Maverick ET-732 Copper
2- Auber SYL-1615 fan systems(Awesome!!!!!!!!)
Thermoworks Thermapen w/ Back light (gift)
Thermoworks Timestick
Cambro Model 300MPC110 w/ Winco SS Pans
B & B and Kingsford Charcoal
B & B Pellets
#15

August 23, 2014, 07:08 PM

I was going to post a joke about pizza, but then I realized it was too cheesey.
3 likes
Comment
5 - 7

7 comments

#15.5

smokingirl commented

March 3, 2019, 10:30 AM

Editing a comment

Such finely leavened humor!
Gets a rise out of all of us bbq brethren!

#15.6

CaptainMike commented

March 3, 2019, 10:49 AM

Editing a comment

You might want to toss that one.

#15.7

bbqLuv commented

October 19, 2020, 01:22 PM

Editing a comment

I'll save those jokes for the upper crust.

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