Jokes!

[HawkerXP]

So artsy! With the beans its now Artsy, fartsy!

[painter]

Man walks into a bar:
Oww!

[Panhead John]

.,.

[Panhead John]

..,

[Panhead John]

...

[Panhead John]

,,,

[Panhead John]

...

[radshop]

indubitably inconclusive

[Foehn Watts]

radshop is your grammar nerd dudishnesh enhance or exacerbated by imbibed alcoholic beverages? ;-)

[Foehn Watts]

ComfortablyNumb OMG, reminds me of the time he took the giant ol' "shotgun" fuse out of the air conditioner because the kids couldn't keep the doors shut! Of course I suffered along with that too, cuz I was at home taking care of them--ARRRGH!

LOL. LOL.

[ComfortablyNumb]

I have a friend who couldn't get his kids to turn off lights. So he took out all the bulbs and gave everybody in the house their own light bulb. They had to unscrew the bulb and take it with them when they left the room.

[radshop]

Trying so hard not to be grammar nerd guy... Can't help it...

"Well, axshelly, if one intends to express that in the absence of a particular male, the female loses existential realism, the original expression of that without commas is preferred. To wit: 'Woman without her man is nothing.' The alternate rendering with commas implies ambiguous apposition that renders it unintelligible."

Edit: I started happy hour early today, so I'm not responsible for anything I post

[Foehn Watts]

More punctuation:
A professor wrote on the blackboard, “Woman without her man is nothing.” The students were then instructed to insert the proper punctuation.

The men wrote, “Woman, without her man, is nothing.”

The women wrote, “Woman! Without her, man is nothing.”

[Foehn Watts]

My husband is so cheap that when he dies, he’s going to walk toward the light and turn it off.

(all of our kids would agree with this statement!)

[Foehn Watts]

I told my friend not to get too excited about turning 32, since her birthday party would be so short.

"Why would it be short?" she asked.

I said, "Because it's your thirty-second birthday."