Jokes!

klflowers

Club Member

Joined: Sep 2015

Posts: 2787

Location: Tennessee
#1456

July 12th, 2019, 10:21 AM
15 likes
Comment
1 comment

#1456.1

Mr. Bones commented

July 12th, 2019, 07:26 PM

Editing a comment

One of th funniest I have heared in a loonngg time, Brother!

Thanks to th sweet, merciful heavens that Smokey, he cain't text!!!!

(leastwise, not yet...he is decidedly way too dang observant, intelligent, an clever...

1 like
Craigar

Founding Member

Joined: Jul 2014

Posts: 1061

Location: Papillion, NE

* - Weber 26.75" OTG
* - Weber 22.5" Premium cloaked in Crimson
* - Slow 'N Sear
* - Smoke E-Z - 26.75" (The Grain Silo)
* - Lodge Sportsman Grill
* - Weber Rapid Fire Chimney Starter
* - Thermoworks ThermoPop
* - Thermoworks Dot
* - iGrill2 - 4 probes
* - Favorite Beer - the cold one in my hand (craft beers of all flavors; haven't had a blue yummy in over 6 years) my tastes change with the season so it is difficult to name just a couple. However, I will occasionally have a vanilla porter float in the summer (Empyrean Vanilla Porter w/a scoop of homemade vanilla ice cream) as I usually drink stouts & porters in the colder months, pale ales & IPAs in the warmer months. I have to add Not Your Father's Root Beer to beers I use for floats.
* - Booze - I don't really have a favorite, but lean towards single malt Scotch & Irish whiskey
* - Wines - Reds: mainly the heavy stuff mixed in with the occasional pinot noir ( I have yet to meet a malbec I didn't like); Whites: German & Nebraska (hey, I have to support the home team)
* - Favorite Spice outlets - Frisco Spices in LaVista, NE (the local butcher supply shop); Volcanic Peppers in Bellevue, NE
* - Current butchers: Just Good Meats & Fareway Foods
#1457

July 12th, 2019, 10:41 AM

This one is from a weekly newsletter I receive from our local seafood purveyor:
14 likes
Comment
Bogy

Club Member

Joined: Mar 2016

Posts: 513

Location: North Central Iowa

Blaz'n Grill Works Grid Iron
Weber Genesis E-310
Original Grilla
Smokey Joe® Charcoal Grill 14"
Thermoworks ThermoPop
Thermoworks Thermapen Mk4
Thermoworks Smoke Thermometer with gateway
2 iGrillminis - from before they were Weber.
#1458

July 12th, 2019, 01:20 PM
19 likes
Comment
1 comment

#1458.1

Mr. Bones commented

July 12th, 2019, 01:44 PM

Editing a comment

Oh, now that's jus Hilarious, Brother ! LMAO!!!

3 likes
Bogy

Club Member

Joined: Mar 2016

Posts: 513

Location: North Central Iowa

Blaz'n Grill Works Grid Iron
Weber Genesis E-310
Original Grilla
Smokey Joe® Charcoal Grill 14"
Thermoworks ThermoPop
Thermoworks Thermapen Mk4
Thermoworks Smoke Thermometer with gateway
2 iGrillminis - from before they were Weber.
#1459

July 12th, 2019, 03:14 PM
13 likes
Comment
2 - 4

4 comments

#1459.2

Mr. Bones commented

July 13th, 2019, 08:30 AM

Editing a comment

Yup! +1

#1459.3

gcdmd commented

July 17th, 2019, 12:37 PM

Editing a comment

Insanity is hereditary--You get it from your children.

Of course, chances are, that if your parents didn't have children, you won't, either.

3 likes

#1459.4

RonB commented

July 17th, 2019, 02:05 PM

Editing a comment

gcdmd - your comment about children reminded me of a book I read as a teen. The name was "My Brother was an Only Child".Two chapters I remember - one entire chapter was "To He_double_ hockey sticks with chapter 17. Every darn book you pick up has a chapter 17. The other was "Slow to 60 - bridge out".

2 likes
ComfortablyNumb

Club Member

Joined: May 2017

Posts: 3043

Location: Northeast Washington

KBQ C-60
PK360
Thermoworks Smoke
Thermoworks Thermopop
Thermoworks Dot
#1460

July 13th, 2019, 06:42 AM

Did you hear about the carpenter who lost his tools in a poker game? Turns out he was a saw loser.
8 likes
Comment
1 comment

#1460.1

holehogg commented

July 13th, 2019, 06:50 AM

Editing a comment

Who wood of thought. He made out he was a cut above the rest but failed to nail it and thsts the plane truth.
Saw looser.

7 likes
Mr. Bones

Birthday Hat Master

Joined: Sep 2016

Posts: 8451

Location: Kansas Territory

Grills / Smokers
*********************************************
Kingsford 24" grill (Free) 'Billy'
Brinkmann Smoke n Grill
Oklahoma Joe Highland, gaskets, LavaLock baffle / tuning plate. 'Big Joe'
Weber 18" Kettle ($30 CL) 'Lil' Feller'
Weber Smokey Joe ($25 CL) 'Lil' Brother'
Weber 22.5 Master Touch '93 P Code Blue($85) from fellow WKC member Bmitch 'Elwood'
Weber 22.5 Bar-B-Q Kettle '69-'70 "Patent Pending" Red ($80) from fellow WKC member dwnthehatch 'Maureen'
Weber 22.5 OTS DD Code Black ($40 CL) 'DeeDee'
Weber 22.5 OTS DO Code Black ($15 CL)
Weber 22.5 OTS E Code Black ($20 CL
Weber 22.5 OTS EE Code Black ($20 CL

Weber "C" Code 18.5" WSM '81 ($50 CL) 8-0!!!
Weber "H" Code 18.5" WSM '86 ($75 CL)
Weber " " Code 18.5" WSM

Weber 26.75, $199 NFM clearance !!!
Weber SJS AH 'Lil' Brother'
Weber SJS AT 'Lil' Sister'
Weber SJS DE Code (FREE) 'Lil' Helper'
Weber SJG M Code 'Lil Traveller'
Weber SJS AH Code 'Kermit' (Lime Green)
Horizon 20" Classic, w/baffle/tuning plate (FREE)
Good One Open Range, (FREE), Monthly Prize from AR giveaway!!!!

Thermometers:
*********************************************
Ol' Skool Bi-metal probe pocket thermo, that has checked / served ~ 1,000,000 meals in my possession, easily...
Maverick ET-732, (Black)
Thermopops, (Red, Yellow, Green)
ThermaPen Mk4 (Black), THANKS!!! to jgjeske1
Blue ThermaPen Mk4
Orange Thermapen Mk4
Pink Thermapen Mk4
ThermoWorks IR-GUN-S
ThermoWorks Smoke
ThermoWorks Open Box Smoke
4 Pro Series cable extensions
Smoke Gateway

Accessories:
*********************************************
2 Slow 'N Sears, Slow 'N Sear XL, Grill 'N Griddle
BBQ Vortex, 2 Hovergrills, Top Deck
Warming shelf
MyWeigh KD-8000Kitchen Scale
Backyard Grill marinade injector
Acoustic Guitars/Electric Guitars/Basses/1928 National Duolian/Harmonicas/Banjo Washboard, Spoons, kazoos, pocket comb with wax paper, egg shakers ;-)
Bear Paws
Meat Rakes
BBQ Dragon/Chimley of Insanity, Dragon Wing Shelves (x2 ea.)

Cookware:
Probably a ton of cast iron, mostly very old...still cookin'
G'Ma's Piqua skillet, :-)( They went out of business in 1934~)
'60's Revere Ware (Mom's), + others found elsewhere
60's CorningWare 10-cup percolator (Mom's) Daily driver
50's CorningWare 10-cup percolator (G'Ma's), for a backup! ;-)
Carpy Wally World stock pots, in approx 2 gal/3gal sizes, blue speckledty-porcelain enameled
Tramontina 6.5 qt Dutch Oven

Cutlery, etc.:
Shi*-ton of kitchen/chef knives, most sharper than my straight-razors are. (Better steel!) Chicago Cutlery, Old Hickory, various, including some nice German stuff ;-)
Dexter 12" slicing knife, 6" Sani-Safe boning knife
Smith's Tri-Hone Natural Arkansas Knife Sharpening System
Multiple steels, from all over the planet
Crock sticks
Diamond stones, various
Lansky Sharpening System

Tableware
Daily driver:Washington Forge Mardi Gras, Navy / Cobalt Blue
Dinner: Guests: Washington Forge, Town and Country
Fancy / Formal: Family silverware
#1461

July 13th, 2019, 08:34 AM

Howdy.

Smelt of yer campfire, an moseyed on in...

Perciate th coffee, amigos...hits th spot, after a long day's ride, an that's a fact...

Please, tell me, that there ain't ribs I smell a boilin, yonder, now is it, 'friends'?????
16 likes
Comment
3 - 5

5 comments

#1461.3

Bogy commented

July 16th, 2019, 09:29 AM

Editing a comment

Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?
You been out ridin' fences for so long now
Oh, you're a hard one
But I know that you got your reasons
These things that are pleasin' you
Can hurt you somehow

2 likes

#1461.4

jecucolo commented

July 16th, 2019, 04:59 PM

Editing a comment

Don’t you play the queen of diamond she’ll get you if she’s able
The queen of hearts is always your best bet...

2 likes

#1461.5

Thunder77 commented

July 16th, 2019, 07:21 PM

Editing a comment

Easy money
Faithless women
Red-eye whiskey for the pain

3 likes
holehogg

Club Member

Joined: Nov 2017

Posts: 1906

Location: Port Elizabeth, South Africa
#1462

July 15th, 2019, 01:42 PM

They said "Do what you love and the money will follow"
So I lit a fire and I'm drinking beer...... now I wait
While waiting I got thinking it's disgusting how vegans drink water.
That's a fish's home

I was was returning something at my local supermarket the other day and a woman in front of me was returning a disposable braai. Since is has already been opened, the assistant asked why she was returning it, upon which she replied, ‘Well… there’s no meat in it!’
The assistant calmly explained that the disposable braai was simply to braai the food and it did not actually include any meat.
Before she could turn to leave, the assistant checked the receipt and sarcasticly asked: “I see there are 3 braais on here, aren’t you returning the other two as well?”

“I can’t…”, said the lady, “they are at home in the freezer”.
8 likes
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Thunder77

Founding Member

Joined: Jul 2014

Posts: 2719

Location: Halethorpe, MD

Weber 26.75" Kettle with SnS. Broil King Baron 5 burner. Akorn Kamado, and Akorn Jr kamado. Primo Oval Junior. Love grilling steaks, ribs, and chicken. Need to master smoked salmon Favorite cool weather beer: Sam Adams Octoberfest Favorite warm weather beer: Yuengling Traditional Lager All-time favorite drink: Single Malt Scotch
#1463

July 16th, 2019, 08:57 AM

Morning chuckle
Attached Files
11 likes
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Thunder77

Founding Member

Joined: Jul 2014

Posts: 2719

Location: Halethorpe, MD

Weber 26.75" Kettle with SnS. Broil King Baron 5 burner. Akorn Kamado, and Akorn Jr kamado. Primo Oval Junior. Love grilling steaks, ribs, and chicken. Need to master smoked salmon Favorite cool weather beer: Sam Adams Octoberfest Favorite warm weather beer: Yuengling Traditional Lager All-time favorite drink: Single Malt Scotch
#1464

July 16th, 2019, 07:22 PM

If a politician claims to be a straight shooter, does he have delusions of candor??
2 likes
Comment
1 comment

#1464.1

JimLinebarger commented

July 16th, 2019, 08:13 PM

Editing a comment

Wouldn't that depend upon their caliber of character? And who they are targeting?

4 likes
richinlbrg

Founding Member

Joined: Jul 2014

Posts: 1812

Location: Leesburg, VA. (Northern, VA)

We have two weber kettle grills (one LARGE and one small/average), the SnS and the Weber Smokey Mountain 18" smoker. We use both natural lump charcoal and KNB for smoking and measure our temps with a Maverick 733, thermopen and MK4. Favorite beer depends on what is cooking (alt answer is yes).
#1465

July 17th, 2019, 03:35 AM

I ran across this and thought I would share. Apologies if his language offends any one, but he makes some good points.

https://www.facebook.com/8528368621/...15&v=e&sfns=mo
3 likes
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holehogg

Club Member

Joined: Nov 2017

Posts: 1906

Location: Port Elizabeth, South Africa
#1466

July 17th, 2019, 09:28 AM

In the bathroom at the restaurant I was at last night there was a sign that read
"Employees must wash hands"
I found it very degrading!
I'm quite capable of washing my own hands.
6 likes
Comment
1 comment

#1466.1

jecucolo commented

July 17th, 2019, 05:11 PM

Editing a comment

Perspective...

2 likes
Bogy

Club Member

Joined: Mar 2016

Posts: 513

Location: North Central Iowa

Blaz'n Grill Works Grid Iron
Weber Genesis E-310
Original Grilla
Smokey Joe® Charcoal Grill 14"
Thermoworks ThermoPop
Thermoworks Thermapen Mk4
Thermoworks Smoke Thermometer with gateway
2 iGrillminis - from before they were Weber.
#1467

July 18th, 2019, 10:24 AM
12 likes
Comment
1 - 3

3 comments

#1467.1

ofelles commented

July 18th, 2019, 10:50 AM

Editing a comment

a groaner!

1 like

#1467.2

gcdmd commented

July 19th, 2019, 01:17 PM

Editing a comment

They're getting worse.

#1467.3

Bogy commented

July 19th, 2019, 01:25 PM

Editing a comment

Hey, I resemble that remark!
Hulagn1971

Charter Member

Joined: Dec 2014

Posts: 919

Location: NC, The Triad

WSM 22.5", Pitmaster IQ110, Weber 22.5" Kettle with SNS, Weber 14" Smokey Joe.
#1468

July 18th, 2019, 08:00 PM

Faceapp gone right.
Attached Files
8 likes
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holehogg

Club Member

Joined: Nov 2017

Posts: 1906

Location: Port Elizabeth, South Africa
#1469

July 19th, 2019, 06:01 AM

Last night I shouted into a colander and today my voice is a little strained.
8 likes
Comment
1 - 3

3 comments

#1469.1

RonB commented

July 19th, 2019, 06:04 AM

Editing a comment

And so is your humor...

1 like

#1469.2

ComfortablyNumb commented

July 19th, 2019, 07:04 AM

Editing a comment

You got what you deserved. I mean really, why would a fellow shout into a colander? And it's winter, so you can't blame the heat.

#1469.3

holehogg commented

July 19th, 2019, 09:10 AM

Editing a comment

ComfortablyNumb it wasn't shredding the cheese like it's meant to.

1 like
JCBBQ

Club Member

Joined: Jan 2016

Posts: 1068

Location: Jersey City, NJ

Primo Oval XL Ceramic Cooker
Pit Barrel Cooker
2x Mavrick 732
Therma Pen Orange
Favorite Bourbon Blanton's
SF Giants

MCS wish list - Lone Star Grillz off set
#1470

July 19th, 2019, 11:03 AM
8 likes
Comment
2 - 4

4 comments

#1470.2

ComfortablyNumb commented

July 19th, 2019, 12:11 PM

Editing a comment

Yep, it's all about the 'tone'.

Unless it's 'that dress makes you look fat'. Then tone doesn't matter.

2 likes

#1470.3

gcdmd commented

July 19th, 2019, 01:20 PM

Editing a comment

Maybe he can exercise the 30 day return warranty before it's too late.

2 likes

#1470.4

RonB commented

July 19th, 2019, 03:13 PM

Editing a comment

gcdmd - Now you tell me there was a return period. You are 43 years too late...

2 likes

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Spotlight

These are not ads or paid placements. These Are Some Of Our Favorite Tools And Toys.

Use our links when you buy things

Digital Thermometers Are Your Most Valuable Tool And Here's A Great Buy!

If you have a Weber Kettle, you need the Slow 'N' Sear

Bring The Heat With Broil King Signet's Dual Tube Burners

The Good-One Is A Superb Grill And A Superb Smoker All In One

Griddle And Deep Fryer All In One

The Pit Barrel Cooker May Be Too Easy

The Undisputed Champion!

Compact Powerful Sear Machine For Your Next Tailgater

The Cool Kettle With The Hinged Hood We Always Wanted

G&F Suede Welder's Gloves

Heat Resistant Gloves With Extra Long Sleeves Hold The Hot Stuff

GrillGrates Take Gas Grills To The Infrared Zone

Is This Superb Charcoal Grill A Kamado Killer?

Our Favorite Backyard Smoker

Masterbuilt MPS 340/G ThermoTemp XL Propane Smoker

The First Propane Smoker With A Thermostat Makes This Baby Foolproof

Professional Steakhouse Knife Set

Fireboard: The Ultimate Top Of The Line BBQ Thermometer

Finally, A Great Portable Pellet Smoker