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    This kid has to be from New Jersey 😂😂😂

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      Toddler with diarrhea to Mom: I need some Viagra.
      Mom: Why in the world do you need Viagra?
      Toddler with diarrhea: That's what Dad always says he needs when his shit won't get hard.

      Comment


      • JimLinebarger
        JimLinebarger commented
        Editing a comment
        That's funny, right thar!

      Had to share these:
      Attached Files

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        My day started off well when I found a hat full of money but was short lived when a man with a guitar started chasing me.

        Comment


        • surfdog
          surfdog commented
          Editing a comment
          How to make $30 an hour: become a street musician.
          How to make $30 a minute: rob the street musician. LOL

        Day 12 without meat. Lost hearing in my left eye!





        The post I stole this from said chocolate, but either works for me!

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          I wonder how many calories are burnt jumping to conclusions?

          Comment


          • THE Humble Texan
            THE Humble Texan commented
            Editing a comment
            NONE!!!! I tried it for 40 years and gained 120 pounds.

          • Bogy
            Bogy commented
            Editing a comment
            Gotta agree with THE Humble Texan, this would be a very skinny nation if it burned a lot.

          • Spinaker
            Spinaker commented
            Editing a comment
            Ever heard of the jump to conclusions mat? Lol

          Employee to disgruntled customer: "Wait a sec. Do you want to talk to my manager, or someone who knows what's going on?"

          Comment


          • ComfortablyNumb
            ComfortablyNumb commented
            Editing a comment
            I'm confused, is this a joke or a statement of fact?

          Dad: Doctor, all five of my boys want to be valets when they grow up!

          Doctor: Wow! That’s the worst case of parking sons disease I have ever seen.

          Comment


          • JCBBQ
            JCBBQ commented
            Editing a comment
            Groan

          • Spinaker
            Spinaker commented
            Editing a comment
            Legendary!

          • Thunder77
            Thunder77 commented
            Editing a comment
            That's so bad it's good!

          With 97 pages of posts maybe this is in here somewhere but I could not find it with search so here goes:

          Three priests were talking and found out they each were dealing with a rat problem at their church. They compared notes to see if there was a solution.

          The first priest said they put out traps and bait and that helped for while but the rats were back and in bigger numbers.

          The second said they hired an exterminator. It was very expensive and while it worked for a year or so the rats were back and it was too expensive to do again.

          The third said they gathered all of the rats in the main church and made them all members of the congregation...

          Now they only see the rats on Easter and Christmas!!!!

          Comment


          • Bogy
            Bogy commented
            Editing a comment
            Oldie but goodie. There are various variations, first version I heard concerned bats. Heard a variation I like with squirrels a few years ago, not sure if I shared it here or not.

          • Wedunne
            Wedunne commented
            Editing a comment
            Love your avatar!

          • Thunder77
            Thunder77 commented
            Editing a comment
            How true it is!!

          Not sure if I want to laugh or cry
          Attached Files

          Comment


          • Mr. Bones
            Mr. Bones commented
            Editing a comment
            Great oldie, first heared it as an Oly an Lena joke, from Garrison Keiller, many long years back, on Prairie Home Companion...

          A man is attending a World Series game is sitting in the nosebleed seats and spots a guy sitting in the front row with an empty seat next to him. By the third inning he figures the seat holder isn't showing up. So he makes his way down and approaches the guy and asks if he knows if the person is coming or not. "That is my wife's seat," says the man, "We've been season ticket holders for 40 years, but she passed away. You are welcome to sit if you like." The man appreciatively sits down and expressed condolences. "I guess you couldn't find a friend to come to the game with you?" he asks. "No, everyone I know is at the funeral."

          Comment


            If you're sitting in public and a stranger takes the seat next to you, just stare straight ahead and say, "Did you bring the money?"

            Comment


            • Mr. Bones
              Mr. Bones commented
              Editing a comment
              HeeHee, Brother Bogy !!!!

              If ya really wanna add to th effect, first reach yer right hand inside yer jacket, into yer lh armpit, an keep it there...

              Gotta tell ya, it's So Dang Good to see ya back in th game, my Friend!

              Been missin ya, powerful bad!

            • HouseHomey
              HouseHomey commented
              Editing a comment
              That’s funny. How are you sir.

            • Bogy
              Bogy commented
              Editing a comment
              HouseHomey, I'm fine, other than being exhausted. Been an "interesting" couple of months.

            Originally posted by jecucolo View Post
            There are 3 types of people in the world. Those who are good at math and those who aren’t.
            There are 2 types of people in this world:
            Those who divide all the people into 2 groups, and those who don't. I'm in the second category.

            Comment


            • radshop
              radshop commented
              Editing a comment
              Bogy we're just here to give you more material.

            • Bogy
              Bogy commented
              Editing a comment
              radshop, I appreciate it!

            • HouseHomey
              HouseHomey commented
              Editing a comment
              That is a true statement. Sir, that is no joke. 😃

            Pilot announces over the intercom "we've reached 30 thousand feet in the aeroplane"
            I looked around and thought to myself no ways are there 15 thousand people in this plane.

            Comment


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              • radshop
                radshop commented
                Editing a comment
                It's funny because it's true!!!!

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