Welcome!


This is a membership forum. As a guest, you can click around a bit. View 5 pages for free. If you would like to participate, please join.

[ Pitmaster Club Information | Join Now | Login | Contact Us ]

There are 4 page views remaining.

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Jokes!

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    Ole’s out duck hunting, when a loon flies over. Ole shoots, Bang, Bang, Bang, and the loon keeps on flying. A few minutes later a game warden comes out of the brush, and says to Ole, “Do you have a hunting license?”
    “Ya, sure I do!” says Ole.
    “Is there a duck stamp attached to that license?” asks the game warden.
    “Ya, dere is!” says Ole.
    “Well, let me remind you that we are in the great state of Minnesota, and the loon is the official bird of the great state of Minnesota, and had you shot that loon just now you would be in a lot of trouble. I would have not only given you a very expensive ticket, I would have confiscated your gun and your pickup truck, and you might also have been looking at some jail time. You just remember that the next time a loon flies over you,” the game warden says.
    “Yes sir, I vill remember dat!” says Ole.
    The game warden leaves, but comes back just a few minutes later. He says to Ole, “Look, I have a question to ask you, and you can answer without any fear of penalty, because I will not have witnessed anything, or have any evidence, but I’ve been a citizen of Minnesota for over 40 years, and I’ve been a game warden for over 20 years, and in all that time I have never shot a loon, so I gotta ask you, have you ever shot a loon?”
    “Ya,” says Ole, “I have shot a loon.”
    “Did you eat that loon?” the warden asks.
    “Ya,” says Ole, “I have eaten a loon.”
    “Well, what does a loon taste like?” asks the warden.
    “Vell, a loon is kinda tough and gamey. I tink the best I can describe it is dat it’s kind uv a cross between a whooping crane and a bald eagle.”

    Comment


    • gcdmd
      gcdmd commented
      Editing a comment
      Love it. It reminds me of a variation in which Ole and a bunch of the boys are talking about how their wives prepare ducks. One says his wife's version tastes like chicken, another pheasant, etc., at which point Oley says that when Lena cooks duck it tastes like loon.

    • jecucolo
      jecucolo commented
      Editing a comment
      That’s a good one! Thanks

    Two dyslexics walk into a bra..

    Comment


      The invention of the shovel was groundbreaking. But it was the invention of the wheel that got things rolling.

      Comment


        Click image for larger version

Name:	Lebowski.jpg
Views:	111
Size:	13.8 KB
ID:	679237

        Comment


          Stolen from Fakebook;

          Click image for larger version

Name:	FB_IMG_1557970984770.jpg
Views:	140
Size:	42.0 KB
ID:	679670

          Comment


            On the heels of a wisecrack about "smoking a fatty":

            So this monkey is sitting up on a branch in a tree smoking a big ole fatty. This lizard strolls by, looks up and says, "Hey man, whatchya doing?" The monkey looks down and says, "Man, I got some pretty good stuff here! Come up and join me!" So the lizard climbs up the tree and they are puffing away. In a little bit they lizard says, "Man, I got some cotton-mouth something fierce! I'm going to go the river and get a drink." So the lizard meanders over to the river's edge and leans over to take and drink. He's so crunched he falls in. An alligator sees this and comes over helping the lizard out of the river. The lizard is very thankful for the alligator's help. The alligator says, "Man, what's going on?" The lizard says, "Man, I've been smoking a joint with this monkey over in a tree and I guess I was more stoned than I thought and I fell in when I went to get a drink. The alligator asks, "Where is this?" The lizard points over to a tree and the alligator walks over and looks up in the tree. Sure enough, there's a monkey up there puffing away. The alligator says, "Hey man!" The monkey looks down and says, "DUDE! How much water did you drink???"

            Comment


            Click image for larger version

Name:	weberAliens.jpg
Views:	135
Size:	24.1 KB
ID:	680663

            Comment


            • Donw
              Donw commented
              Editing a comment
              Now that is funny!

            • IowaGirl
              IowaGirl commented
              Editing a comment
              Thanks to my hubby for finding this one for your and my delectation.

              I was tempted to put this in the "Road Webers II" thread (https://pitmaster.amazingribs.com/fo...road-webers-ll) but thought it worked better here.

            • Thunder77
              Thunder77 commented
              Editing a comment
              I don’t care who you are, that’s funny right there! 😂😂

            I hate it when I think I’m buying ORGANIC vegetables, but when I get home they’re just REGULAR donuts. O_o

            Comment


              Today I thought of a color that doesn’t exist…

              But then I realized it was just a pigment of my imagination.

              Comment


              • Foehn Watts
                Foehn Watts commented
                Editing a comment
                Sssssss!

              • Spinaker
                Spinaker commented
                Editing a comment
                Too good!

              Ouch!

              Comment


                After winning the game my friend threw the ball into the crowd.
                Yeah he isn't allowed into the bowling ally anymore...

                Comment


                • jecucolo
                  jecucolo commented
                  Editing a comment
                  Hope I didn’t offend anyone with my gutter humor

                • CaptainMike
                  CaptainMike commented
                  Editing a comment
                  Chortle.

                Get it? ;-) Click image for larger version

Name:	0F200DAC-DFE3-44FF-9B12-1D5C9F945E3E.jpeg
Views:	141
Size:	68.9 KB
ID:	683821

                Comment


                • ComfortablyNumb
                  ComfortablyNumb commented
                  Editing a comment
                  Or, as mi paisano HouseHomey would say, "I'd eat that!"

                • Mr. Bones
                  Mr. Bones commented
                  Editing a comment
                  Totally git it, reckon ol Robin'd be proud...
                  Mighta thawed out th shrimp; that lowest one looks like it could create some physical discomfort...

                • Thunder77
                  Thunder77 commented
                  Editing a comment
                  🤣🤣🤣🤣

                Remember, no matter how much you push the envelope.
                It’s still stationery.

                Comment


                  You come from dust.
                  You will return to dust.
                  That’s why I don’t dust.
                  It might be someone I know.

                  Comment


                  • Spinaker
                    Spinaker commented
                    Editing a comment
                    There it is!

                  Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?

                  Comment


                  • CaptainMike
                    CaptainMike commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Guffaw!!

                  • Mr. Bones
                    Mr. Bones commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Lol, oldie, but still a goodie!

                  • Henrik
                    Henrik commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Ha ha ha!

                Announcement

                Collapse
                No announcement yet.
                Working...
                X
                false
                0
                Guest
                500
                ["pitmaster-my-membership","login","join-pitmaster","lostpw","reset-password","special-offers","help","nojs","meat-ups","gifts","authaau-alpha","ebooklogin-start","alpha","start"]
                false
                false
                {"count":0,"link":"/forum/announcements/","debug":""}
                Yes
                Rubs Promo
                Meat-Up in Memphis