Welcome!


This is a membership forum. As a guest, you can click around a bit. View 3 pages for free. If you would like to participate, please join.

[ Lost Username or Password | Pitmaster Club Information, | Join 30 Days Free | Contact Us ]

There are 2 page views remaining.

Announcement

Collapse

Meat-Up in Memphis 2021

Join us in Memphis for our Meat-Up! Space is limited to 400, secure your spot by booking early!
Click here for details. (https://amazingribs.com/memphis)
See more
See less

Jokes!

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
  • Willy
    Charter Member
    • Apr 2015
    • 1793
    • High Desert of the Great Southwest

    I just heard that Jimmy Hoffa has been found hiding under Tammy Faye Bakker's make-up.

    Also, Willie Nelson has been seriously hurt--he was playing on the road again.

    Comment

  • SmokinDTown
    Charter Member
    • Aug 2014
    • 18
    • Far, far, far Norcal. For the moment.

    Guy's car breaks down in front of a farm. As he walks up to the house, he notices that the house is brand new. Next to the house are the ruins of an old farm house that obviously had burned to the ground. There is a brand new pigsty next to the barn. In it is a pig with a wooden leg.

    The guy knocks on the door, and the farmer answers it. "My car broke down. May I borrow your phone to call a tow truck?" says the guy. "Hey, by the way, looks like your old house burnt down recently."

    Farmer replies, "Yep house caught fire in the middle of the night. If'n it weren't fer that pig over yonder, we'da all died in the fire. He smelled it right away, jumped over his pen, knocked down the front door, and dragged all of us outa the house to safety!"

    The guy says, "Wow, what a story! Guess the pig lost his leg rescuing you?"

    Farmer says, "Nope. You don't eat no special pig like that all at once."

    Comment

  • mackdaddy
    Former Member
    • Jul 2015
    • 264
    • Greencastle, PA

    If a blond, redhead and brunet jump off a building at the same time, who would land first? The red head and brunet,because the blond had to stop and ask for directions.

    How can you tell which office cubical are the blond ladies? Their computer screens have whiteout all over them.

    Comment

    • Willy
      Charter Member
      • Apr 2015
      • 1793
      • High Desert of the Great Southwest

      I hope this isn't over the edge...

      Ole and Olga are driving along on a cold winter day and see a group of baby skunks clustered around the just run over body of their mother. Ole stops the car and they collect the shivering babies. Driving along again, Olga says to Ole: "They're so cold, what can we do?" Ole says Put them under your dress." Olga replies "What about the smell?" Ole says "Don't worry, they'll get used to it."

      Comment

      • Huskee
        Pit Boss
        • May 2014
        • 14788
        • central MI, USA
        • Follow me on Instagram, huskeesbarbecue

          Want a free bottle of whiskey? Check out my link to Flaviar.com, you join with it, we both get a $50 bottle free.

          Smokers / Grills
          • Yoder loaded Wichita offset smoker
          • PBC
          • Grilla Silverbac pellet grill
          • Slow 'N Sear Deluxe Kamado (SnSK)
          • Dyna-Glo XL Premium dual chamber charcoal grill
          • Weber 22" Original Kettle Premium (copper)
          • Weber 26" Original Kettle Premium (black)
          • Weber Jumbo Joe Gold (18.5")
          • Weber Smokey Joe Silver (14.5")
          • Brinkmann cabinet charcoal smoker (repurposed)

          Thermometers
          • (3) Maverick XR-50: 4-probe Wireless Thermometers
          • (7) Maverick ET-732s
          • (1) Maverick ET-735 Bluetooth (in box)
          • (1) Smoke by ThermoWorks
          • (1) Signals by ThermoWorks
          • Thermapen MkII, orange
          • ThermoPop, yellow
          • ThermoWorks ChefAlarm
          • Morpilot 6-probe wireless
          • ThermoWorks Infrared IRK2
          • ThermoWorks fridge & freezer therms as well

          Accessories
          • Instant Pot 6qt
          • Anova Bluetooth SV
          • Kitchen Aide mixer & meat grinder attachment
          • Kindling Cracker King (XL)
          • BBQ Dragon
          • Weber full & half chimneys, Char-Broil Half Time chimney
          • Weber grill topper
          • Slow 'N Sear Original, XL, and SnS Charcoal Basket (for Jumbo Joe)
          • Drip 'N Griddle Pan, 22' Easy Spin Grate, and Elevated Cooking grate, by ABCbarbecue
          • Pittsburgh Digital Moisture Meter

          Beverages
          • Favorite summer beer: Leinenkugels Summer & Grapefruit Shandy, Hamm's, Michelob Ultra Pure Gold
          • Fav other beer: DAB, Sam Adams regular, Third Shift amber or Coors Batch 19, Stella Artois
          • Fav cheap beers: Pabst, High Life, Hamm's & Stroh's
          • Most favorite beer: The one in your fridge
          • Wine: Red- big, bold, tannic & peppery- Petite Sirah, Zinfandel, Cabernet Sauv, Sangiovese, Syrah, etc
          • Whiskey: Buffalo Trace, Eagle Rare, E.H. Taylor, Blanton's, Old Forester 1870, Elijah Craig, Basil Hayden's. Neat please.
          • Scotch: Current favorite- The Arran (anything by them), Glenmorangie 12yr Lasanta, sherry cask finished. The Balvenie Double Wood, also like Oban 18yr, and The Glenlivet Nadurra (Oloroso sherry cask finished) among others. Neat please.

          About me
          Real name: Aaron
          Location: Farwell, Michigan- near Clare. (dead center of lower peninsula)

          Occupation:
          • Healthcare- Licensed & Registered Respiratory Therapist (RRT) for MidMichigan Health, a University of Michigan Health System.

        National Filet Minion day?

        Click image for larger version

Name:	filetminion.JPG
Views:	98
Size:	36.4 KB
ID:	102521

        Comment

        • Stevehtn
          Former Member
          • Sep 2014
          • 117
          • East TN

          My wife, she's a terrible cook. In our house we pray after we eat.....
          -We leave dental floss laying around so the cockroaches can hang themselves....
          -Anytime I clean off the dishes, the garbage disposal throws up....
          I tell ya, her cooking is so bad the flies pitched in to help fix the screen door.....

          Comment

          • Chriscrna
            Charter Member
            • Sep 2014
            • 90
            • Knoxville, TN
            • Regular use
              Primo Oval XL 400
              Weber Smokey Mountain 22.5
              Weber Jumbo Joe

              Gathering dust
              Char-Griller Smokin' Pro

              Tools
              Weber Rapidfire chimney starter
              Weber lighter cubes
              BBQ Guru DigiQ DX2
              Maverick 732
              Thermopop

              Fuel
              Kingsford Blue

              Wood preference
              Chunk
              Apple is my favorite

              Alcohol
              Summer: Angry Orchard
              Winter: Guinness
              Year round: Ketel One

            Some of my favorite Rodney Dangerfield quotes.....

            My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.

            I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.

            When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father, "I'm very sorry. We did everything we could...but he pulled through."

            I come from a stupid family. During the Civil War my great uncle fought for the west!

            My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.

            I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

            I was so ugly, my mother used to feed me with a slingshot!

            A girl phoned me and said, "Come on over. There's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home!

            Comment

            • Huskee
              Pit Boss
              • May 2014
              • 14788
              • central MI, USA
              • Follow me on Instagram, huskeesbarbecue

                Want a free bottle of whiskey? Check out my link to Flaviar.com, you join with it, we both get a $50 bottle free.

                Smokers / Grills
                • Yoder loaded Wichita offset smoker
                • PBC
                • Grilla Silverbac pellet grill
                • Slow 'N Sear Deluxe Kamado (SnSK)
                • Dyna-Glo XL Premium dual chamber charcoal grill
                • Weber 22" Original Kettle Premium (copper)
                • Weber 26" Original Kettle Premium (black)
                • Weber Jumbo Joe Gold (18.5")
                • Weber Smokey Joe Silver (14.5")
                • Brinkmann cabinet charcoal smoker (repurposed)

                Thermometers
                • (3) Maverick XR-50: 4-probe Wireless Thermometers
                • (7) Maverick ET-732s
                • (1) Maverick ET-735 Bluetooth (in box)
                • (1) Smoke by ThermoWorks
                • (1) Signals by ThermoWorks
                • Thermapen MkII, orange
                • ThermoPop, yellow
                • ThermoWorks ChefAlarm
                • Morpilot 6-probe wireless
                • ThermoWorks Infrared IRK2
                • ThermoWorks fridge & freezer therms as well

                Accessories
                • Instant Pot 6qt
                • Anova Bluetooth SV
                • Kitchen Aide mixer & meat grinder attachment
                • Kindling Cracker King (XL)
                • BBQ Dragon
                • Weber full & half chimneys, Char-Broil Half Time chimney
                • Weber grill topper
                • Slow 'N Sear Original, XL, and SnS Charcoal Basket (for Jumbo Joe)
                • Drip 'N Griddle Pan, 22' Easy Spin Grate, and Elevated Cooking grate, by ABCbarbecue
                • Pittsburgh Digital Moisture Meter

                Beverages
                • Favorite summer beer: Leinenkugels Summer & Grapefruit Shandy, Hamm's, Michelob Ultra Pure Gold
                • Fav other beer: DAB, Sam Adams regular, Third Shift amber or Coors Batch 19, Stella Artois
                • Fav cheap beers: Pabst, High Life, Hamm's & Stroh's
                • Most favorite beer: The one in your fridge
                • Wine: Red- big, bold, tannic & peppery- Petite Sirah, Zinfandel, Cabernet Sauv, Sangiovese, Syrah, etc
                • Whiskey: Buffalo Trace, Eagle Rare, E.H. Taylor, Blanton's, Old Forester 1870, Elijah Craig, Basil Hayden's. Neat please.
                • Scotch: Current favorite- The Arran (anything by them), Glenmorangie 12yr Lasanta, sherry cask finished. The Balvenie Double Wood, also like Oban 18yr, and The Glenlivet Nadurra (Oloroso sherry cask finished) among others. Neat please.

                About me
                Real name: Aaron
                Location: Farwell, Michigan- near Clare. (dead center of lower peninsula)

                Occupation:
                • Healthcare- Licensed & Registered Respiratory Therapist (RRT) for MidMichigan Health, a University of Michigan Health System.

              Originally posted by Stevehtn View Post
              I tell ya, her cooking is so bad the flies pitched in to help fix the screen door.....
              Lol .

              Comment

              • (brownie)
                Former Member
                • Aug 2015
                • 25
                • Central Oklahoma

                A man and his wife were constantly arguing because of his cheapskate ways. One day he decided to make amends and told her he would take her to dinner anywhere she wanted to go. She said " I don't care where we go as long as it's expensive". He thought about it for a minute then took her to the airport and bought her a hot dog.

                Comment

                • _John_
                  Former Member
                  • Jul 2014
                  • 2454

                  You can't RUN through a camp ground, you can only RAN through one, since it's past tents.

                  Comment

                  • D.C.
                    Former Member
                    • Aug 2015
                    • 61
                    • Hattiesburg, MS

                    John was at his house with all of his buds one evening, and they were all planning their big yearly hunting trip for the next weekend, when John's wife walks in and says, "Oh no Mr., I need you here and have alot for you to do next weekend." John didn't fight it, he knew there was no use with her tone of voice, and his buds set about planning the hunt without him.
                    Next weekend, the guys all show up at camp to find that John has been there for hours, setting up, building a fire and such. One of them asks, "How in the world did you get away from your wife?"
                    "Well, it happened like this. She walked in with a pair of handcuffs and a blindfold, said that she had read some book 50 Shades of Gray, and told me to put the blindfold and handcuffs on her and do whatever I wanted. So I did, and here I am..."

                    Comment


                    • Huskee
                      Huskee commented
                      Editing a comment
                      Lol. Well played
                  • gwschenk
                    Club Member
                    • Aug 2015
                    • 181
                    • Sierra Madre, Calif.
                    • Weber Smokey Mountain 18.5", Weber kettle 22", Thermoworks Thermopop and DOT

                    A man from the brewery knocks on the door. A woman answers. The man says, "Mrs. Callaghan, I have terrible news. Your husband fell into a vat of Guiness and drowned." "Oh, no!, says Mrs. Callaghan, "it must have been awful!" "Ay, it was," he said, "we pulled him out three times."

                    Comment

                    • Willy
                      Charter Member
                      • Apr 2015
                      • 1793
                      • High Desert of the Great Southwest

                      For St. Paddy's Day

                      A genius from, say, a well known east European country comes into a doctor who has invented a machine that can raise or lower IQ The genius wants to be able to communicate better with his fellow town folk and asks that his IQ be lowered to match that of his friends (the cost would be prohibitive to raise the IQ of all the town folk). The doctor agrees, hooks the man up, then gets distracted and leaves the man for too long. Realizing he had forgotten, the doctor rushes in, turns the machine off, and asks the former genius how he feels. The man replies "Top o' the mornin' to you."

                      Comment


                      • richinlbrg
                        richinlbrg commented
                        Editing a comment
                        Hey hey hey

                        That is not funny! I resemble that! LOL
                    • (brownie)
                      Former Member
                      • Aug 2015
                      • 25
                      • Central Oklahoma

                      Just a little morbid.....

                      Click image for larger version

Name:	three-little-pigs.jpg
Views:	99
Size:	70.1 KB
ID:	105766

                      Comment


                      • Huskee
                        Huskee commented
                        Editing a comment
                        I noticed the solid brick piano before I noticed the father portrait. Lol.
                    • richinlbrg
                      Founding Member
                      • Jul 2014
                      • 1858
                      • Leesburg, VA. (Northern, VA)
                      • We have two weber kettle grills (one LARGE and one small/average), the SnS and the Weber Smokey Mountain 18" smoker. We use both natural lump charcoal and KNB for smoking and measure our temps with a Maverick 733, thermopen and MK4. Favorite beer depends on what is cooking (alt answer is yes).

                      Same here, Huskee !

                      Comment

                      Announcement

                      Collapse

                      Meat-Up in Memphis 2021

                      Join us in Memphis for our Meat-Up! Space is limited to 400, secure your spot by booking early!
                      Click here for details. (https://amazingribs.com/memphis)
                      See more
                      See less
                      Working...
                      X
                      Meat-Up in Memphis

                      T-Shirts & More T-Shirts & More
                      Order men's and women's T-Shirts, Sweatshirts, Aprons, Mugs, Caps, Tote Bags, Flasks, and more, all imprinted with the Pitmaster Club logo. There's even a spiral bound journal where you can make notes on your cooks.

                      Cool Embroidered Shirt Cool Embroidered Shirt
                      This beautifully embroidered shirt is the same one Meathead wears in public and on TV. It's wash and wear and doesn't need ironing (really!), but it is a soft cottonlike feel. Choice of four colors and both men's and women's.

                      Click here for more info.

                      Support ARC

                      Many merchants pay us a small referral fee when you click our links and purchase from them. On Amazon it works on everything from grills to diapers, they never tell us what you bought, and it has zero impact on the price you pay, but has a major impact on our ability to improve this site! And remember, we only recommend products we love. If you like AmazingRibs.com, please save this link and use it every time you go to Amazon.

                      https://tinyurl.com/amazingribs

                      BBQ Stars

                      Spotlight

                      These are not ads or paid placements. These Are Some Of Our Favorite Tools And Toys.

                      These are products we have tested, won our top awards, and are highly recommend. Click here to read how we test, about our medals, and what they mean.

                      Use our links when you buy things

                      Many merchants pay us a small referral fee when you click our links and purchase from them. On Amazon it works on everything from grills to diapers, they never tell us what you bought, it has zero impact on the price you pay, but has a major impact on our ability to improve this site! If you like AmazingRibs.com, please save this link and use it every time you go to Amazon

                      https://tinyurl.com/amazingribs

                       


                      If you have a Weber Kettle, you need the Slow 'N' Sear

                      slow n sear

                      The Slow 'N' Sear turns your grill into a first class smoker and also creates an extremely hot sear zone you can use to create steakhouse steaks.

                      Click here for our article on this breakthrough tool


                      The Good-One Is A Superb Grill And A Superb Smoker All In One

                      the good one grill

                      The Good-One Open Range is dramatically different from a traditional offset smoker. By placing the heat source behind and under the smokebox instead of off to the side, Open Range produces even temperature from left to right, something almost impossible to achieve with a standard barrel shaped offset.

                      Click here to read our complete review


                      Griddle And Deep Fryer In One

                      Pit Barrel Cooker Smoker

                      The flat top does the burgers and the fryer does the fries. Use the griddle for bacon, eggs, and home fries. Or pancakes, fajitas, grilled cheese, you name it. Why stink up the house deep frying and spatter all over? Do your fried chicken and calamari outside. Blackstone's Rangetop Combo With Deep Fryer does it all!

                      Click here to read our detailed review and to order


                      The Pit Barrel Cooker May Be Too Easy

                      Pit Barrel Cooker Smoker

                      The PBC has a rabid cult following for good reason. It is absolutely positively without a doubt the best bargain on a smoker in the world. Period. This baby will cook circles around the cheap offset sideways barrel smokers because temperature control is so much easier.

                      Click here to read our detailed review and the raves from people who own them


                      The Undisputed Champion!

                      thermapen

                      The Thermoworks Thermapen MK4 is considered by the pros, and our team, to be the single best instant read thermometer. The MK4 includes features that are common on high-end instruments: automatic backlight and rotating display. Don't accept cheap substitutes.

                      Click here to read our comprehensive Platinum Medal review


                      Grilla Pellet Smoker proves good things come in small packages

                      Grilla pellet smoker

                      We always liked Grilla. The small 31.5" x 29.5" footprint makes it ideal for use where BBQ space is limited, as on a condo patio.

                      Click here for our review on this unique smoker


                      Delta by Nuke,
                      Stylish and Affordable
                      Gaucho Grill

                      Weber Genesis Grill

                      Delta by Nuke burns wood or charcoal and comes with an adjustable height grill grate. This Argentinian grill will get your flame on!

                      Click here to read our complete review


                      Genesis II E-335 
                      A Versatile Gasser That Does It All!

                      Weber Genesis Grill

                      Weber’s Genesis line has long been one of the most popular choices for gas grillers. The new Genesis II E-335 offers solid performance, a sear burner for sizzling heat and an excellent warranty.

                      Click here to read our complete review


                      GrillGrates Take Gas Grills To The Infrared Zone

                      grill grates

                      GrillGrates(TM) amplify heat, prevent flareups, make flipping foods easier, kill hotspots, flip over to make a fine griddle, and can be easily rmoved from one grill to another. You can even throw wood chips, pellets, or sawdust between the rails and deliver a quick burst of smoke.

                      Click here for more about what makes these grates so special


                      Is This Superb Charcoal Grill A Kamado Killer?

                      PK 360 grill

                      The PK-360, with 360 square inches of cooking space, this rust free, cast aluminum charcoal grill is durable and easy to use. Four-way venting means it's easy to set up for two zone cooking with more control than single vent Kamado grills. It is beautifully designed, completely portable, and much easier to set up for 2-zone cooking than any round kamado.

                      Click here to read our detailed review of the PK 360

                      Click here to order directly and get an exclusive AmazingRibs.com deal


                      Our Favorite Backyard Smoker

                      kareubequ bbq smoker

                      The amazing Karubecue is the most innovative smoker in the world. The quality of meat from this machine is astonishing. At its crux is a patented firebox that burns logs above the cooking chamber and sucks heat and extremely clean blue smoke into the thermostat controlled oven. It is our favorite smoker, period.

                      Click here for our review of this superb smoker


                      Masterbuilt MPS 340/G ThermoTemp XL Propane Smoker

                      masterbuilt gas smoker

                      This is the first propane smoker with a thermostat, making this baby foolproof. Set ThermoTemp's dial from 175° to 350°F and the thermostat inside will adjust the burner just like an indoor kitchen oven. All you need to do is add wood to the tray above the burner to start smokin'.

                      Click here to read our detailed review


                      Digital Thermometers Are Your Most Valuable Tool And Here's A Great Buy!

                      maverick PT55 thermometer

                      A good digital thermometer keeps you from serving dry overcooked food or dangerously undercooked food. They are much faster and much more accurate than dial thermometers. YOU NEED ONE!

                      Click here to read our complete review


                      Track Up To Six Temperatures At Once

                      Grilla pellet smoker

                      FireBoard Drive 2 is an updated version of a well-received product that sets the standard for performance and functionality in the wireless food thermometer/thermostatic controller class.

                      Click here for our review of this unique device


                      The Cool Kettle With The Hinged Hood We Always Wanted

                      NK-22-Ck Grill

                      Napoleon's NK22CK-C Charcoal Kettle Grill puts a few spins on the familiar kettle design. In fact, the hinged lid with a handle on the front, spins in a rotary motion 180 degrees. It's hard to beat a Weber kettle, but Napoleon holds its own and adds some unique features to make the NK22CK-C a viable alternative.

                      Click here for more about what makes this grill special


                      Finally, A Great Portable Pellet Smoker

                      Green Mountain Davey Crockett Grill

                      Green Mountain's portable Davy Crockett Pellet Smoker is one mean tailgating and picnic machine. But it's also gaining popularity with people who want to add a small, set it and forget it pellet smoker to their backyard arsenal. And with their WiFi capabilities you can control and monitor Davy Crocket from your smart phone or laptop.

                      Click here to read our detailed review and to order