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Meat-Up in Memphis 2020

Join us in Memphis for our Meat-Up! Space is limited to 400, secure your spot by booking early! Click here for details. (https://amazingribs.com/memphis2020)
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  • ComfortablyNumb
    Club Member
    • May 2017
    • 2594
    • Northeast Washington
    • KBQ C-60
      PK360
      Thermoworks Smoke
      Thermoworks Thermopop
      Thermoworks Dot

    Why do ducks have flat feet?









    From stomping out forest fires.
    Why do elephants have flat feet?










    From stomping out flaming ducks,

    Comment

    • Keiferr
      Club Member
      • Jun 2018
      • 957
      • Southeast Michigan



      EMBARRASSING MEDICAL EXAMS

      1. A man comes into the ER and yells . . .'My wife's going to have her baby in the cab.'

      I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress and began to take off her underwear.

      Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs - - -
      and I was in the wrong one.

      Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald,
      San Francisco

      2. At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall.

      'Big breaths,’ I instructed.
      'Yes, they used to be,’ Replied the patient.

      Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes,
      Seattle, WA

      3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct.

      Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a 'massive internal fart.'

      Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg

      4. During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his medications.
      'Which one?’ I asked.
      'The patch.'
      'The Nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours
      and now I'm running out of places to put it!'

      I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see.

      Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body!
      Now, the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.

      Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair,
      Norfolk, VA

      5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked,
      'How long have you been bedridden?'

      After a look of complete confusion she answered,
      ' Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive.'

      Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson,
      Corvallis, OR

      6. I was performing rounds at the hospital one morning and while checking up on a man I asked . . .' So how's your breakfast this morning?'
      'It's very good except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste,' Bob replied.

      I then asked to see the jelly and Bob produced a foil packet labeled 'KY Jelly.'

      Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf,
      Detroit

      7. A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos,
      and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery.

      When she was completely disrobed on the operating table,
      the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green
      and above it there was a Tattoo that read . . .' Keep off the grass.'

      Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, Which said, 'Sorry . . . Had to mow the lawn.'

      Submitted by RN no name,

      AND FINALLY!!

      8. As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB,
      I was quite embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams.
      To cover my embarrassment I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly.

      The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing, further embarrassing me.

      I looked up from my work and sheepishly said . . ..
      ' I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?'

      She replied with tears running down her cheeks from laughing so hard . . ..

      ' No doctor but the song you were whistling was,
      ' I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener.'

      Dr. Wouldn't submit his name....

      1 MORE
      Baby's First Doctor Visit

      This made me laugh out loud.
      I hope it will give you a smile!

      A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room,
      waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam.

      The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.
      'Breast-fed,' she replied.

      'Well, strip down to your waist,' the doctor ordered.

      She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a very professional and detailed examination.

      Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said,
      'No wonder this baby is underweight. You don't have any milk.'

      'I know,' she said, 'I'm his Grandma, but I'm glad I came.'

      Comment


      • ComfortablyNumb
        ComfortablyNumb commented
        Editing a comment
        Regarding the last one, I hope she didn't fake it.....
    • gcdmd
      Charter Member
      • Sep 2014
      • 898
      • The Republic of Texas

      Then there was the prospective military recruit who went through the customary station by station intake physical, which typically takes at least an hour and usually more. Finally, he got to the last station, which was for the urinalysis. He stumbled up to the doorway (or hatch for the Navy folks) and leaned against the jamb. The corpsman sitting at the desk pointed to a shelf on the wall and said "Okay, go ahead and fill one of those bottles," to which the recruit replied, "From here?!"
      Last edited by gcdmd; February 15th, 2019, 05:53 AM.

      Comment


      • wu7y
        wu7y commented
        Editing a comment
        I may get expelled from AR but I cannot resist.

        There was a navy recruit who had signed up with an artificial insemination clinic to become a donor but he was rejected. They determined he was not a seaman first class.
    • jecucolo
      Club Member
      • Nov 2015
      • 1189
      • Schertz Texas
      • Pit Barrel Cooker
        Slow 'n Sear for 22" Kettle
        Weber 22" Kettle (Craiglist)
        Slow 'n Sear for 22" Kettle
        Weber Rapid Fire Chimney
        Maverick ET-732
        Kingsford Original Charcoal
        Kingsford Competition Charcoal
        Anova Sous Vide

      I buy guns from a guy named TRex.
      He is a small arms dealer.

      what?

      Comment

      • Willy
        Charter Member
        • Apr 2015
        • 1767
        • High Desert of the Great Southwest

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        • Mr. Bones
          Mr. Bones commented
          Editing a comment
          ROFLMAO Brother! !!!!!!!

          Greatly helped out a very painful day!
      • Willy
        Charter Member
        • Apr 2015
        • 1767
        • High Desert of the Great Southwest

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        • Thunder77
          Thunder77 commented
          Editing a comment
          My wife took up yoga last August. We both laughed until we couldn't breathe!! :-)
      • Thunder77
        Founding Member
        • Jul 2014
        • 2505
        • Halethorpe, MD
        • Weber 22.5" Kettle with SnS Brinkmann 5 burner gasser. Akorn Kamado, and Akorn Jr kamado. Love grilling steaks, ribs, and chicken. Need to master smoked salmon Favorite cool weather beer: Sam Adams Octoberfest Favorite warm weather beer: Yuengling Traditional Lager All-time favorite drink: Single Malt Scotch

        Watch what you ask for....
        Attached Files

        Comment

        • RonB
          Club Member
          • Apr 2016
          • 10792
          • Near Richmond VA
          • Weber Performer Deluxe
            SNS
            Pizza insert
            Rotisserie
            Smokenator 1000
            Cookshack Smokette Elite
            2 Thermapens
            Chefalarm
            Dot
            lots of probes.
            CyberQ

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          The bad news is that time flies.
          The good news is that you are the pilot.

          Comment


          • Donw
            Donw commented
            Editing a comment
            Unfortunately most of the time we are on auto pilot. 🙂
        • RonB
          Club Member
          • Apr 2016
          • 10792
          • Near Richmond VA
          • Weber Performer Deluxe
            SNS
            Pizza insert
            Rotisserie
            Smokenator 1000
            Cookshack Smokette Elite
            2 Thermapens
            Chefalarm
            Dot
            lots of probes.
            CyberQ

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          Comment


          • Bogy
            Bogy commented
            Editing a comment
            You need to eat more than one box. The effect is cumulative. You need at least 10 more boxes for the effect to be noticeable. I have 2 granddaughters who can set you up with all the thin mints you need for a great body!
        • Keiferr
          Club Member
          • Jun 2018
          • 957
          • Southeast Michigan

          What's the difference between God and a fighter pilot?
          God doesn't think he's a fighter pilot.

          Do you know the difference between God and a gorilla?
          Gorillas don't wear big watches.

          I dealt with fighter pilots my whole military career. The above are funny but true most of the time.

          Comment


          • gcdmd
            gcdmd commented
            Editing a comment
            I remember one about how to identify the pilots in the shower, but I won't repeat it here.

          • HawkerXP
            HawkerXP commented
            Editing a comment
            How can you tell a pilots at the party?
            Don't worry, he'll tell you.
        • Huskee
          Pit Boss/Manager
          • May 2014
          • 13802
          • central MI, USA
          • Follow me on Instagram, huskeesbarbecue
            Smokers / Grills
            • Yoder loaded Wichita offset smoker
            • PBC
            • Grilla Silverbac pellet grill
            • Slow 'N Sear Deluxe Kamado (SnSK)
            • Dyna-Glo XL Premium dual chamber charcoal grill
            • Weber 22" Original Kettle Premium (copper)
            • Weber 26" Original Kettle Premium (black)
            • Weber Jumbo Joe Gold (18.5")
            • Weber Smokey Joe Silver (14.5")
            • Brinkmann cabinet charcoal smoker (repurposed)


            Thermometers
            • (3) Maverick XR-50: 4-probe Wireless Thermometers
            • (7) Maverick ET-732s
            • (1) Maverick ET-735 Bluetooth (in box)
            • (1) Smoke by ThermoWorks
            • (1) Signals by ThermoWorks
            • Thermapen MkII, orange
            • ThermoPop, yellow
            • ThermoWorks ChefAlarm
            • Morpilot 6-probe wireless
            • ThermoWorks Infrared IRK2
            • ThermoWorks fridge & freezer therms as well


            Accessories
            • Instant Pot 6qt
            • Anova Bluetooth SV
            • Kitchen Aide mixer & meat grinder attachment
            • Kindling Cracker King (XL)
            • BBQ Dragon
            • Weber full & half chimneys, Char-Broil Half Time chimney
            • Weber grill topper
            • Slow 'N Sear Original, XL, and SnS Charcoal Basket (for Jumbo Joe)
            • Drip 'N Griddle Pan, 22' Easy Spin Grate, and Elevated Cooking grate, by ABCbarbecue
            • Pittsburgh Digital Moisture Meter


            Beverages
            • Favorite summer beer: Leinenkugels Summer & Grapefruit Shandy, Hamm's, Michelob Ultra Pure Gold
            • Fav other beer: DAB, Sam Adams regular, Third Shift amber or Coors Batch 19, Stella Artois
            • Fav cheap beers: Pabst, High Life, Hamm's & Stroh's
            • Most favorite beer: The one in your fridge
            • Wine: Red- big, bold, tannic & peppery- Petite Sirah, Zinfandel, Cabernet Sauv, Sangiovese, Syrah, etc
            • Whiskey: Buffalo Trace, Eagle Rare, E.H. Taylor, Blanton's, Old Forester 1870, Elijah Craig, Basil Hayden's. Neat please.
            • Scotch: Current favorite- The Arran (anything by them), Glenmorangie 12yr Lasanta, sherry cask finished. The Balvenie Double Wood, also like Oban 18yr, and The Glenlivet Nadurra (Oloroso sherry cask finished) among others. Neat please.


            About me
            Real name: Aaron
            Location: Farwell, Michigan- near Clare. (dead center of lower peninsula)

            Occupation:
            • Healthcare- Licensed & Registered Respiratory Therapist (RRT) for MidMichigan Health, a University of Michigan Health System.

          Tell 'em the truth about me..

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          • surfdog
            Club Member
            • Mar 2016
            • 494
            • Sunny SoCal
            • Weber Summit Charcoal Grill Center - Weber Summit Platinum D6 - Blue Rhino Razor - Char-Griller Legacy - Anova WiFi - Thermapen Mk4 - ThermaQ High Temp Kit - ThermaQ Meathead Kit - ThermaQ WiFi - ThermoWorks IR-GUN-S - ThermoPop - ThermoWorks TimeStick Trio x2 - Christopher Kimball timer - NO, I do not work for ThermoWorks...I just like their products.

            Today I saw a listing for a “Radio for sale, $1, volume stuck on full.”

            i thought, “Well I can’t tirn that down.”

            Comment


            • Bogy
              Bogy commented
              Editing a comment
              Price is to low. Need to market it for "People with hearing loss" and charge extra!

            • Thunder77
              Thunder77 commented
              Editing a comment
              That's a Spinaker joke right there! :-P
          • surfdog
            Club Member
            • Mar 2016
            • 494
            • Sunny SoCal
            • Weber Summit Charcoal Grill Center - Weber Summit Platinum D6 - Blue Rhino Razor - Char-Griller Legacy - Anova WiFi - Thermapen Mk4 - ThermaQ High Temp Kit - ThermaQ Meathead Kit - ThermaQ WiFi - ThermoWorks IR-GUN-S - ThermoPop - ThermoWorks TimeStick Trio x2 - Christopher Kimball timer - NO, I do not work for ThermoWorks...I just like their products.

            Remember when plastic surgery and the like were taboo subjects?

            Now you mention Botox and nobody raises an eyebrow.

            Comment


            • THE Humble Texan
              THE Humble Texan commented
              Editing a comment
              Look around and you just might see how many eyebrows are raised. (;
          • surfdog
            Club Member
            • Mar 2016
            • 494
            • Sunny SoCal
            • Weber Summit Charcoal Grill Center - Weber Summit Platinum D6 - Blue Rhino Razor - Char-Griller Legacy - Anova WiFi - Thermapen Mk4 - ThermaQ High Temp Kit - ThermaQ Meathead Kit - ThermaQ WiFi - ThermoWorks IR-GUN-S - ThermoPop - ThermoWorks TimeStick Trio x2 - Christopher Kimball timer - NO, I do not work for ThermoWorks...I just like their products.

            A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”

            Comment


            • jecucolo
              jecucolo commented
              Editing a comment
              Awwwww!!!!!
          • RichieB
            Club Member
            • Apr 2018
            • 733
            • Western Mass

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            • jecucolo
              jecucolo commented
              Editing a comment
              Funny

          Announcement

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          Meat-Up in Memphis 2020

          Join us in Memphis for our Meat-Up! Space is limited to 400, secure your spot by booking early! Click here for details. (https://amazingribs.com/memphis2020)
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          Meat-Up in Memphis

          T-Shirts & More T-Shirts & More
          Order men's and women's T-Shirts, Sweatshirts, Aprons, Mugs, Caps, Tote Bags, Flasks, and more, all imprinted with the Pitmaster Club logo. There's even a spiral bound journal where you can make notes on your cooks.

          Cool Embroidered Shirt Cool Embroidered Shirt
          This beautifully embroidered shirt is the same one Meathead wears in public and on TV. It's wash and wear and doesn't need ironing (really!), but it is a soft cottonlike feel. Choice of four colors and both men's and women's.

          Click here for more info.

          Support ARC

          Many merchants pay us a small referral fee when you click our links and purchase from them. On Amazon it works on everything from grills to diapers, they never tell us what you bought, and it has zero impact on the price you pay, but has a major impact on our ability to improve this site! And remember, we only recommend products we love. If you like AmazingRibs.com, please save this link and use it every time you go to Amazon.

          https://tinyurl.com/amazingribs

          BBQ Stars

          SPOTLIGHT

          These are not ads or paid placements. These Are Some Of Our Favorite Tools And Toys.

          These are products we have tested, won our top awards, and are highly recommend. Click here to read how we test, about our medals, and what they mean.

          Use our links when you buy things

          Many merchants pay us a small referral fee when you click our links and purchase from them. On Amazon it works on everything from grills to diapers, they never tell us what you bought, it has zero impact on the price you pay, but has a major impact on our ability to improve this site! If you like AmazingRibs.com, please save this link and use it every time you go to Amazon

          https://tinyurl.com/amazingribs

           


          Placeholder

          Surely you know somebody who loves outdoor cooking who deserves a gift for the holidays, birthday, anniversary, or just for being wonderful. There he is, right in the mirror! Here are our selections of best ideas, all Platinum or Gold Medalists, listed by price.

          Click here to see our list of Gold Medal Gifts


          Digital Thermometers Are Your Most Valuable Tool And Here's A Great Buy!

          maverick PT55 thermometer

          A good digital thermometer keeps you from serving dry overcooked food or dangerously undercooked food. They are much faster and much more accurate than dial thermometers. YOU NEED ONE!

          Click here for more info on the Maverick PT-55 Waterproof Instant-Read Thermometer Review shown above. It may be the best value in a thermometer out there


          If you have a Weber Kettle, you need the Slow 'N' Sear

          slow n sear

          The Slow 'N' Sear turns your grill into a first class smoker and also creates an extremely hot sear zone you can use to create steakhouse steaks.

          Click here for our article on this breakthrough tool


          Bring The Heat With Broil King Signet's Dual Tube Burners

          the good one grill

          The Broil King Signet 320 is a modestly priced, 3-burner gas grill that packs a lot of value and power under the hood. Broil King's proprietary, dual-tube burners get hot fast and are able to achieve high, searing temps that rival most comparatively priced gas grills. The quality cast aluminum housing carries a Limited Lifetime Warranty.

          Click here to read our complete review


          The Good-One Is A Superb Grill And A Superb Smoker All In One

          the good one grill

          The Good-One Open Range is a charcoal grill with an offset smoke chamber attached. It is dramatically different from a traditional offset smoker. The grill sits low in front and doubles as a firebox for the smoke chamber which is spliced on above and behind so it can work like a horizontal offset smoker only better. By placing the heat source behind and under the smokebox instead of off to the side, Open Range produces even temperature from left to right, something almost impossible to achieve with a standard barrel shaped offset.

          Click here to read our complete review


          Pit Barrel Cooker Smoker

          Griddle And Deep Fryer All In One

          The flat top does the burgers and the fryer does the fries. Use the griddle for bacon, eggs, and home fries. Or pancakes, fajitas, grilled cheese, you name it. Why stink up the house deep frying and spatter all over? Do your fried chicken and calamari outside. Blackstone's Rangetop Combo With Deep Fryer does it all. Plus it has a built in cutting board, garbage bag holder, and paper towel holder. An additional work table on the left side provides plenty of counter space.

          Click here to read our detailed review and to order


          Pit Barrel Cooker Smoker

          The Pit Barrel Cooker May Be Too Easy

          The PBC has a rabid cult following for good reason. It is absolutely positively without a doubt the best bargain on a smoker in the world. Period. This baby will cook circles around the cheap offset sideways barrel smokers in the hardware stores because temperature control is so much easier. Best of all, it is only $299 delivered to your door!

          Click here to read our detailed review and the raves from people who own them


          Compact Powerful Sear Machine For Your Next Tailgater

          Placeholder

          Char-Broil's Grill2Go x200 is a super-portable, fun little sizzler made of heavy, rust-proof cast aluminum. The lid snaps shut. Grab the handle and you're off to the party! Char-Broil's TRU-Infrared design produces searing heat while reducing fuel consumption. A 16 ounce LP gas canister is enough to keep you flipping burgers for hours.

          Click here to read our detailed review and to order


          The Cool Kettle With The Hinged Hood We Always Wanted

          NK-22-Ck Grill

          Their NK22CK-C Charcoal Kettle Grill puts a few spins on the familiar kettle design. In fact, the hinged lid with a handle on the front, spins in a rotary motion 180 degrees. It's hard to beat a Weber kettle, but Napoleon holds its own and adds some unique features to make the NK22CK-C a viable alternative.

          Click here for more about what makes this grill special


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          G&F Suede Welder's Gloves

          Heat Resistant Gloves With Extra Long Sleeves Hold The Hot Stuff

          If you're using oven mitts at the grill, it's time to trade up. Say hello to these suede welder's gloves. They're heat resistant enough to handle hot grill grates, and flexible enough to handle tongs. The extra long sleeves even let you reach deep into the firebox to move hot logs without getting burned. Our Fave.

          Click here to read our detailed review

          Click here to order from Amazon


          GrillGrates Take Gas Grills To The Infrared Zone

          grill grates

          GrillGrates(TM) amplify heat, prevent flareups, make flipping foods easier, keep small foods from committing suicide, kill hotspots, are easier to clean, flip over to make a fine griddle, and can be easily removed and moved from one grill to another. You can even throw wood chips, pellets, or sawdust between the rails and deliver a quick burst of smoke to whatever is above. Every gas grill needs them.

          Click here for more about what makes these grates so special


          kareubequ bbq smoker

          Our Favorite Backyard Smoker

          The amazing Karubecue is the most innovative smoker in the world. The quality of meat from this machine is astonishing. At its crux is a patented firebox that burns logs above the cooking chamber and sucks heat and extremely clean blue smoke into the thermostat controlled oven. It is our favorite smoker, period.

          Click here for our review of this superb smoker


          Masterbuilt MPS 340/G ThermoTemp XL Propane Smoker

          masterbuilt gas smoker

          The First Propane Smoker With A Thermostat Makes This Baby Foolproof

          Set ThermoTemp's dial from 175° to 350°F and the thermostat inside will adjust the burner just like an indoor kitchen oven. All you need to do is add wood to the tray above the burner to start smokin'.

          Click here to read our detailed review


          Professional Steakhouse Knife Set

          masterbuilt gas smoker

          Our founder, Meathead, wanted the same steak knives used by steakhouses such as Peter Luger, Smith & Wollensky, Morton's, Kobe Club, Palm, and many others. So he located the manufacturer and had them stamp our name on some. They boast pointed, temper-ground, serrated, high-carbon stainless-steel, half-tang blades with excellent cutting edge ability. The beefy hardwood handle provides a comfortable grip secured by three hefty rivets. He has machine washed his more than 100 times. They have never rusted and they stay shiny without polishing. Please note that we do not make, sell, or distribute these knives, they just engrave them with our name.

          Click here to read our detailed review and to order


          PK 360 grill

          Is This Superb Charcoal Grill A Kamado Killer?

          The PK-360, with 360 square inches of cooking space, this rust free, cast aluminum charcoal grill is durable and easy to use. Four-way venting means it's easy to set up for two zone cooking with more control than single vent Kamado grills. It is much easier to set up for 2-zone cooking than any round kamado. Beautifully designed and completely portable. Meathead says it is his preferrred grill.

          Click here to read our detailed review of the PK 360

          Click here to order it direct from PK and get a special deal for AmazingRibs.com readers only


          Fireboard: The Ultimate Top Of The Line BBQ Thermometer

          fireboard bbq thermometer

          With the ability to monitor up to six temperatures simultaneously with either Bluetooth or Wifi on your mobile phone, tablet, or computer, Fireboard is the best digital thermometer we’ve tested.

          Click here to read our detailed review


          Finally, A Great Portable Pellet Smoker

          Green Mountain Davey Crockett Grill

          Green Mountain's portable Davy Crockett Pellet Smoker is one mean tailgating and picnic machine. But it's also gaining popularity with people who want to add a small, set it and forget it pellet smoker to their backyard arsenal. And with their WiFi capabilities you can control and monitor Davy Crocket from your smart phone or laptop.

          Click here to read our detailed review and to order