Welcome!


This is a membership forum. As as guest, you can read most areas. If you would like to participate, please join.

[ Lost Username or Password | Pitmaster Club Information, | Join 30 Days Free | Contact Us ]

Announcement

Collapse

Meat-Up in Memphis 2020

Join us in Memphis for our Meat-Up! Space is limited to 400, secure your spot by booking early! Click here for details. (https://amazingribs.com/memphis2020)
See more
See less

Jokes!

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
  • Willy
    Charter Member
    • Apr 2015
    • 1767
    • High Desert of the Great Southwest

    Indian vs irish Yoga:

    Click image for larger version  Name:	aaaindian.jpg Views:	1 Size:	75.4 KB ID:	614159Click image for larger version  Name:	aaairish.jpg Views:	1 Size:	106.1 KB ID:	614160

    Comment


    • Mr. Bones
      Mr. Bones commented
      Editing a comment
      Lol! Brother!

      So, as I reckon it, we're in th Lead???

    • CaptainMike
      CaptainMike commented
      Editing a comment
      And yet in spite of all their yogadabado the ancient Yogis are all still dead.

    • JimLinebarger
      JimLinebarger commented
      Editing a comment
      Every time there is a new joke and I scroll past this, I have to scroll back up and laugh all over again. This is classic!
  • holehogg
    Club Member
    • Nov 2017
    • 1590
    • Port Elizabeth, South Africa

    No remarks column


    What do you call an American Bee.

    USB

    Comment


    • Thunder77
      Thunder77 commented
      Editing a comment
      groaaaaaan! That's a Spinaker joke if I ever saw one !
  • Keiferr
    Club Member
    • Jun 2018
    • 957
    • Southeast Michigan

    I know I'm not the only one here that would do this! Need a turkey costume for my dog.

    https://m.facebook.com/groups/154113...20811824864321

    Comment


    • CaptainMike
      CaptainMike commented
      Editing a comment
      OMG that's hilarious!!!!

    • Huskee
      Huskee commented
      Editing a comment
      Lol!

    • panteracfh3
      panteracfh3 commented
      Editing a comment
      That's outstanding!
  • Huskee
    Pit Boss/Manager
    • May 2014
    • 13806
    • central MI, USA
    • Follow me on Instagram, huskeesbarbecue
      Smokers / Grills
      • Yoder loaded Wichita offset smoker
      • PBC
      • Grilla Silverbac pellet grill
      • Slow 'N Sear Deluxe Kamado (SnSK)
      • Dyna-Glo XL Premium dual chamber charcoal grill
      • Weber 22" Original Kettle Premium (copper)
      • Weber 26" Original Kettle Premium (black)
      • Weber Jumbo Joe Gold (18.5")
      • Weber Smokey Joe Silver (14.5")
      • Brinkmann cabinet charcoal smoker (repurposed)


      Thermometers
      • (3) Maverick XR-50: 4-probe Wireless Thermometers
      • (7) Maverick ET-732s
      • (1) Maverick ET-735 Bluetooth (in box)
      • (1) Smoke by ThermoWorks
      • (1) Signals by ThermoWorks
      • Thermapen MkII, orange
      • ThermoPop, yellow
      • ThermoWorks ChefAlarm
      • Morpilot 6-probe wireless
      • ThermoWorks Infrared IRK2
      • ThermoWorks fridge & freezer therms as well


      Accessories
      • Instant Pot 6qt
      • Anova Bluetooth SV
      • Kitchen Aide mixer & meat grinder attachment
      • Kindling Cracker King (XL)
      • BBQ Dragon
      • Weber full & half chimneys, Char-Broil Half Time chimney
      • Weber grill topper
      • Slow 'N Sear Original, XL, and SnS Charcoal Basket (for Jumbo Joe)
      • Drip 'N Griddle Pan, 22' Easy Spin Grate, and Elevated Cooking grate, by ABCbarbecue
      • Pittsburgh Digital Moisture Meter


      Beverages
      • Favorite summer beer: Leinenkugels Summer & Grapefruit Shandy, Hamm's, Michelob Ultra Pure Gold
      • Fav other beer: DAB, Sam Adams regular, Third Shift amber or Coors Batch 19, Stella Artois
      • Fav cheap beers: Pabst, High Life, Hamm's & Stroh's
      • Most favorite beer: The one in your fridge
      • Wine: Red- big, bold, tannic & peppery- Petite Sirah, Zinfandel, Cabernet Sauv, Sangiovese, Syrah, etc
      • Whiskey: Buffalo Trace, Eagle Rare, E.H. Taylor, Blanton's, Old Forester 1870, Elijah Craig, Basil Hayden's. Neat please.
      • Scotch: Current favorite- The Arran (anything by them), Glenmorangie 12yr Lasanta, sherry cask finished. The Balvenie Double Wood, also like Oban 18yr, and The Glenlivet Nadurra (Oloroso sherry cask finished) among others. Neat please.


      About me
      Real name: Aaron
      Location: Farwell, Michigan- near Clare. (dead center of lower peninsula)

      Occupation:
      • Healthcare- Licensed & Registered Respiratory Therapist (RRT) for MidMichigan Health, a University of Michigan Health System.

    I seen this somewhere (sorry if it's here and I'm reposting, too lazy to look)

    "Be your own secret Santa- take an Ambien pill and log in to Amazon."

    Comment

    • CaptainMike
      Club Member
      • Nov 2015
      • 2074
      • The Great State of Jefferson
      • Weber Summit Charcoal Grill w/SnS and DnG (Spartacus)
        Old school big'ol Traeger w/Pro controller (Big Tex)
        2 W22's w/SnS, DnG (1 black, 1 copper) (Minions 1 and 2)
        20+ y/o many times rebuilt Weber Genesis w/GrillGrates (Gas Passer)
        20 x 30 Santa Maria grill (Maria, duh)
        Bradley cabinet smoker (Pepper Gomez)
        36" Blackstone griddle (The Black Beauty)
        Fireboard
        Thermoworks Smoke and Thermapen.

      Just saw this one from allrecipes, 9 foods you WON'T be trying next year: http://dish.allrecipes.com/foods-you...id=17391869646

      Comment

      • holehogg
        Club Member
        • Nov 2017
        • 1590
        • Port Elizabeth, South Africa

        What's the difference between a badly dressed man on a bicycle and a well dressed man on a unicycle.

        Attire

        Comment


        • holehogg
          holehogg commented
          Editing a comment
          At the end of the morning drive radio station one of the presenters gets to share a joke. Sometimes they are really bad (purposefully). I share them here if Ithey seem goofy enough. jecucolo gcdmd do I take that as a compliment 😉

        • jecucolo
          jecucolo commented
          Editing a comment
          Yes! Goofy=Funny

        • gcdmd
          gcdmd commented
          Editing a comment
          Yes. Definitely a compliment. I love puns.
      • painter
        Club Member
        • Dec 2016
        • 151
        • Denver
        • Primo LG300
          Weber Performer Deluxe
          Maverick 732
          Smobot
          Vortex

        As my dad got older his memory (never great) began to slip. As a result, he'd tell the same jokes over and over. This one is fun on the first telling but gets really funny on the 47th delivery.

        Hear about the guy who got a hit of Viagra stuck in this throat?
        He ended up with a stiff neck!

        Comment


        • Steve R.
          Steve R. commented
          Editing a comment
          Why is that guy a "previous" boss, Mr. Bones?

        • Mr. Bones
          Mr. Bones commented
          Editing a comment
          Steve R. I outlasted him, as I have many other bosses; he became somebody else's problem many years ago...

        • EdF
          EdF commented
          Editing a comment
          Mr. Bones - I'm also an expert at outlasting bosses! Must be them genes!
      • jharner
        Club Member
        • Jan 2016
        • 1050
        • Louisiana - North West but a coon ass at heart
        • Cookers

          Camp Chef DLX Pellet Grill
          Weber 22.5 Kettle
          Brickman Box Smoker

          Accessories

          Slow N Sear
          Tube Smoker
          Turkey Cannon
          Rib racks
          Weber chimney starter

          Thermometer's

          Maverick ET 735
          Tru Temp 3619n
          Thermapen mk4
          Thermapop

          Favorite Drink

          Free beer
          Coors Light
          Windsor ( Canadian blended whiskey )

        A man carries his bride into the honeymoon suite. Lays her on the bed, steps back and takes off his pants and throws then at her and says - put these on- she replies I can't they are to big. He says, remember that I wear the pants in the family! She slowly removes her panties and throws them at him and says put these on. He replays I can't get into these they are to small. She replays - and you won't till you change your attitude!!

        Comment

        • Maineac
          Former Member
          • Dec 2018
          • 37
          • Central Maine

          A Georgia state trooper pulls over a pickup on I-75 and says to the driver, “Got any I.D.?” and the driver says “Bout wut?”
          Last edited by Maineac; January 5th, 2019, 05:43 AM.

          Comment


          • CaptainMike
            CaptainMike commented
            Editing a comment
            Same Trooper "You drinkin'?", same guy "you buyin'?"
        • Maineac
          Former Member
          • Dec 2018
          • 37
          • Central Maine

          So I was at the bar last night and the waitress screamed, “ANYONE KNOW CPR?”
          I said, “Hell, I know the entire alphabet.” Everyone laughed… well, all except this one guy.

          Comment


          • Mr. Bones
            Mr. Bones commented
            Editing a comment
            Lmao!!!!
        • CaptainMike
          Club Member
          • Nov 2015
          • 2074
          • The Great State of Jefferson
          • Weber Summit Charcoal Grill w/SnS and DnG (Spartacus)
            Old school big'ol Traeger w/Pro controller (Big Tex)
            2 W22's w/SnS, DnG (1 black, 1 copper) (Minions 1 and 2)
            20+ y/o many times rebuilt Weber Genesis w/GrillGrates (Gas Passer)
            20 x 30 Santa Maria grill (Maria, duh)
            Bradley cabinet smoker (Pepper Gomez)
            36" Blackstone griddle (The Black Beauty)
            Fireboard
            Thermoworks Smoke and Thermapen.

          So a Trooper pulls over a little old lady with a broken tail light, and when she hands over her license and registration she also includes her concealed carry permit. The somewhat amused Trooper asks "What kind of pea-shooter do you carry, Ma'am?" She replied "Well, I have a nifty little snub-nosed .38 in my purse, a .357 magnum in the console in case it gets real, and in the glove box I have my husband's old 1911 .45 that he carried during the war"

          The now slack-jawed Trooper asks "Geez Ma'am, what all are you afraid of?" She replied "Sonny, not a damned thing"

          Comment


          • CaptainMike
            CaptainMike commented
            Editing a comment
            Bogy that was most of the women I grew up around! I even married one like that.

          • Bogy
            Bogy commented
            Editing a comment
            My wife is tough, and anyone smart doesn't mess with her, but she would never use a gun. Doesn't need to. She's a social worker who used to work in really rough neighborhoods in St. Louis, and never had a problem.

          • CaptainMike
            CaptainMike commented
            Editing a comment
            Bogy, not to get too far down a rabbit hole, but we use lots of tools to build strong, safe communities. My Aunt was the best shot I have seen, with any gun, and quite a bit more than a few deer fed her table (much to the "chagrin" of my Uncle).
        • RonB
          Club Member
          • Apr 2016
          • 10798
          • Near Richmond VA
          • Weber Performer Deluxe
            SNS
            Pizza insert
            Rotisserie
            Smokenator 1000
            Cookshack Smokette Elite
            2 Thermapens
            Chefalarm
            Dot
            lots of probes.
            CyberQ

          Click image for larger version

Name:	1545003277766blobpot.png
Views:	18
Size:	457.6 KB
ID:	620360

          Comment


          • Mr. Bones
            Mr. Bones commented
            Editing a comment
            Wow, no wonder I can't stop at one servin of beef!
        • Maineac
          Former Member
          • Dec 2018
          • 37
          • Central Maine

          I picked up a hitchhiker. Seemed like a nice guy. After a few miles he asked me if I wasn’t afraid he might be a serial killer. I told him the odds of two serial killers being in the same car was highly unlikely.

          Comment


          • jecucolo
            jecucolo commented
            Editing a comment
            Very funny!

          • Donw
            Donw commented
            Editing a comment
            Good one!
        • holehogg
          Club Member
          • Nov 2017
          • 1590
          • Port Elizabeth, South Africa

          I watched a cooking documentary on marijuana last nightt.

          I think all documentaries should be watched this way.

          Comment

          • wu7y
            Club Member
            • Oct 2017
            • 69
            • Gillette Wyoming

            A watermelon farmer noticed almost every morning several of his melons had been picked the night before, probably by kids. He checked out the fencing around his field and found where it appeared they had been getting into the field. Thinking a clever warning would stop the theft he posted a sign on the fence which read, "One of these watermelons is poisoned."

            The next morning he checked the field and found his sign had been changed to read, "Two of these watermelons are poisoned."

            Comment


            • Huskee
              Huskee commented
              Editing a comment
              Snap!

          Announcement

          Collapse

          Meat-Up in Memphis 2020

          Join us in Memphis for our Meat-Up! Space is limited to 400, secure your spot by booking early! Click here for details. (https://amazingribs.com/memphis2020)
          See more
          See less
          Working...
          X
          Meat-Up in Memphis

          T-Shirts & More T-Shirts & More
          Order men's and women's T-Shirts, Sweatshirts, Aprons, Mugs, Caps, Tote Bags, Flasks, and more, all imprinted with the Pitmaster Club logo. There's even a spiral bound journal where you can make notes on your cooks.

          Cool Embroidered Shirt Cool Embroidered Shirt
          This beautifully embroidered shirt is the same one Meathead wears in public and on TV. It's wash and wear and doesn't need ironing (really!), but it is a soft cottonlike feel. Choice of four colors and both men's and women's.

          Click here for more info.

          Support ARC

          Many merchants pay us a small referral fee when you click our links and purchase from them. On Amazon it works on everything from grills to diapers, they never tell us what you bought, and it has zero impact on the price you pay, but has a major impact on our ability to improve this site! And remember, we only recommend products we love. If you like AmazingRibs.com, please save this link and use it every time you go to Amazon.

          https://tinyurl.com/amazingribs

          BBQ Stars

          SPOTLIGHT

          These are not ads or paid placements. These Are Some Of Our Favorite Tools And Toys.

          These are products we have tested, won our top awards, and are highly recommend. Click here to read how we test, about our medals, and what they mean.

          Use our links when you buy things

          Many merchants pay us a small referral fee when you click our links and purchase from them. On Amazon it works on everything from grills to diapers, they never tell us what you bought, it has zero impact on the price you pay, but has a major impact on our ability to improve this site! If you like AmazingRibs.com, please save this link and use it every time you go to Amazon

          https://tinyurl.com/amazingribs

           


          Placeholder

          Surely you know somebody who loves outdoor cooking who deserves a gift for the holidays, birthday, anniversary, or just for being wonderful. There he is, right in the mirror! Here are our selections of best ideas, all Platinum or Gold Medalists, listed by price.

          Click here to see our list of Gold Medal Gifts


          Digital Thermometers Are Your Most Valuable Tool And Here's A Great Buy!

          maverick PT55 thermometer

          A good digital thermometer keeps you from serving dry overcooked food or dangerously undercooked food. They are much faster and much more accurate than dial thermometers. YOU NEED ONE!

          Click here for more info on the Maverick PT-55 Waterproof Instant-Read Thermometer Review shown above. It may be the best value in a thermometer out there


          If you have a Weber Kettle, you need the Slow 'N' Sear

          slow n sear

          The Slow 'N' Sear turns your grill into a first class smoker and also creates an extremely hot sear zone you can use to create steakhouse steaks.

          Click here for our article on this breakthrough tool


          Bring The Heat With Broil King Signet's Dual Tube Burners

          the good one grill

          The Broil King Signet 320 is a modestly priced, 3-burner gas grill that packs a lot of value and power under the hood. Broil King's proprietary, dual-tube burners get hot fast and are able to achieve high, searing temps that rival most comparatively priced gas grills. The quality cast aluminum housing carries a Limited Lifetime Warranty.

          Click here to read our complete review


          The Good-One Is A Superb Grill And A Superb Smoker All In One

          the good one grill

          The Good-One Open Range is a charcoal grill with an offset smoke chamber attached. It is dramatically different from a traditional offset smoker. The grill sits low in front and doubles as a firebox for the smoke chamber which is spliced on above and behind so it can work like a horizontal offset smoker only better. By placing the heat source behind and under the smokebox instead of off to the side, Open Range produces even temperature from left to right, something almost impossible to achieve with a standard barrel shaped offset.

          Click here to read our complete review


          Pit Barrel Cooker Smoker

          Griddle And Deep Fryer All In One

          The flat top does the burgers and the fryer does the fries. Use the griddle for bacon, eggs, and home fries. Or pancakes, fajitas, grilled cheese, you name it. Why stink up the house deep frying and spatter all over? Do your fried chicken and calamari outside. Blackstone's Rangetop Combo With Deep Fryer does it all. Plus it has a built in cutting board, garbage bag holder, and paper towel holder. An additional work table on the left side provides plenty of counter space.

          Click here to read our detailed review and to order


          Pit Barrel Cooker Smoker

          The Pit Barrel Cooker May Be Too Easy

          The PBC has a rabid cult following for good reason. It is absolutely positively without a doubt the best bargain on a smoker in the world. Period. This baby will cook circles around the cheap offset sideways barrel smokers in the hardware stores because temperature control is so much easier. Best of all, it is only $299 delivered to your door!

          Click here to read our detailed review and the raves from people who own them


          Compact Powerful Sear Machine For Your Next Tailgater

          Placeholder

          Char-Broil's Grill2Go x200 is a super-portable, fun little sizzler made of heavy, rust-proof cast aluminum. The lid snaps shut. Grab the handle and you're off to the party! Char-Broil's TRU-Infrared design produces searing heat while reducing fuel consumption. A 16 ounce LP gas canister is enough to keep you flipping burgers for hours.

          Click here to read our detailed review and to order


          The Cool Kettle With The Hinged Hood We Always Wanted

          NK-22-Ck Grill

          Their NK22CK-C Charcoal Kettle Grill puts a few spins on the familiar kettle design. In fact, the hinged lid with a handle on the front, spins in a rotary motion 180 degrees. It's hard to beat a Weber kettle, but Napoleon holds its own and adds some unique features to make the NK22CK-C a viable alternative.

          Click here for more about what makes this grill special


          Placeholder

          G&F Suede Welder's Gloves

          Heat Resistant Gloves With Extra Long Sleeves Hold The Hot Stuff

          If you're using oven mitts at the grill, it's time to trade up. Say hello to these suede welder's gloves. They're heat resistant enough to handle hot grill grates, and flexible enough to handle tongs. The extra long sleeves even let you reach deep into the firebox to move hot logs without getting burned. Our Fave.

          Click here to read our detailed review

          Click here to order from Amazon


          GrillGrates Take Gas Grills To The Infrared Zone

          grill grates

          GrillGrates(TM) amplify heat, prevent flareups, make flipping foods easier, keep small foods from committing suicide, kill hotspots, are easier to clean, flip over to make a fine griddle, and can be easily removed and moved from one grill to another. You can even throw wood chips, pellets, or sawdust between the rails and deliver a quick burst of smoke to whatever is above. Every gas grill needs them.

          Click here for more about what makes these grates so special


          kareubequ bbq smoker

          Our Favorite Backyard Smoker

          The amazing Karubecue is the most innovative smoker in the world. The quality of meat from this machine is astonishing. At its crux is a patented firebox that burns logs above the cooking chamber and sucks heat and extremely clean blue smoke into the thermostat controlled oven. It is our favorite smoker, period.

          Click here for our review of this superb smoker


          Masterbuilt MPS 340/G ThermoTemp XL Propane Smoker

          masterbuilt gas smoker

          The First Propane Smoker With A Thermostat Makes This Baby Foolproof

          Set ThermoTemp's dial from 175° to 350°F and the thermostat inside will adjust the burner just like an indoor kitchen oven. All you need to do is add wood to the tray above the burner to start smokin'.

          Click here to read our detailed review


          Professional Steakhouse Knife Set

          masterbuilt gas smoker

          Our founder, Meathead, wanted the same steak knives used by steakhouses such as Peter Luger, Smith & Wollensky, Morton's, Kobe Club, Palm, and many others. So he located the manufacturer and had them stamp our name on some. They boast pointed, temper-ground, serrated, high-carbon stainless-steel, half-tang blades with excellent cutting edge ability. The beefy hardwood handle provides a comfortable grip secured by three hefty rivets. He has machine washed his more than 100 times. They have never rusted and they stay shiny without polishing. Please note that we do not make, sell, or distribute these knives, they just engrave them with our name.

          Click here to read our detailed review and to order


          PK 360 grill

          Is This Superb Charcoal Grill A Kamado Killer?

          The PK-360, with 360 square inches of cooking space, this rust free, cast aluminum charcoal grill is durable and easy to use. Four-way venting means it's easy to set up for two zone cooking with more control than single vent Kamado grills. It is much easier to set up for 2-zone cooking than any round kamado. Beautifully designed and completely portable. Meathead says it is his preferrred grill.

          Click here to read our detailed review of the PK 360

          Click here to order it direct from PK and get a special deal for AmazingRibs.com readers only


          Fireboard: The Ultimate Top Of The Line BBQ Thermometer

          fireboard bbq thermometer

          With the ability to monitor up to six temperatures simultaneously with either Bluetooth or Wifi on your mobile phone, tablet, or computer, Fireboard is the best digital thermometer we’ve tested.

          Click here to read our detailed review


          Finally, A Great Portable Pellet Smoker

          Green Mountain Davey Crockett Grill

          Green Mountain's portable Davy Crockett Pellet Smoker is one mean tailgating and picnic machine. But it's also gaining popularity with people who want to add a small, set it and forget it pellet smoker to their backyard arsenal. And with their WiFi capabilities you can control and monitor Davy Crocket from your smart phone or laptop.

          Click here to read our detailed review and to order