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    panteracfh3 I think my mother in law is nearly Irish.
    Her first names Iris.

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      Understanding names can be a real challenge. I was 11 or 12 years old before I realized my first name was not "goddammit". Apparently I was something of a challenge as well.

      Comment


      • Elton's BBQ
        Elton's BBQ commented
        Editing a comment
        Haha class!

      • Bogy
        Bogy commented
        Editing a comment
        I thought my brother in law had died. I didn't realize he moved to Gillette Wyoming!

      We have a cleaning crew that comes in to work once a week. One of the women has an obvious issue with walking as one leg is considerably shorter than the other. Today I introduced myself and asked her name. Eileen she said.

      Yeah, I know. Old joke.

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      • Huskee
        Huskee commented
        Editing a comment
        The Dovers- Eileen & Ben?

      • wu7y
        wu7y commented
        Editing a comment
        And what about the Normal brothers - Sub and Ab?

      • HawkerXP
        HawkerXP commented
        Editing a comment
        I went to school with the "Bright Brothers" Not so and Ain't so.

      And the guy with no legs called Neil

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      • CaptainMike
        CaptainMike commented
        Editing a comment
        Uh-oh, here we go.........

      • Bogy
        Bogy commented
        Editing a comment
        A piece of coal for you, and a piece of coal for you, and a piece of coal for you...

        I talked about the tradition of naughty little kids getting coal during a children's time a few years ago, and it didn't have the same impact. "Santa's gonna bring me a rock that burns? COOL!"

      Comment


        I accidentally drank holy water with my laxatives.

        I’m about to start a religious movement.

        Comment


        • holehogg
          holehogg commented
          Editing a comment
          Holy c..p.

        From my granddaughter.
        How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
        Only one, but the bulb really needs to want to change.

        Comment


          Then there's the guy with no arms or legs named Dillon.

          Comment


          • Mr. Bones
            Mr. Bones commented
            Editing a comment
            Floatin on th tide? Bob.

          • BigCountryQ
            BigCountryQ commented
            Editing a comment
            Standing outside of a hole? Phil

          • BigCountryQ
            BigCountryQ commented
            Editing a comment
            Standing inside of a hole? Doug

          What do you call one cow spying on another?
          A steak out

          What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
          Nacho cheese

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              Never, NEVER, NEVER,
              under any circumstances,
              take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night!

              Comment


              • Mr. Bones
                Mr. Bones commented
                Editing a comment
                Bad juju!!!!


              The Maid


              The maid asked for a raise in pay. The wife was upset about this and decided to talk to her about it.

              Wife: "Now, tell me why you think you deserve a pay increase?"

              Maid: Well, there are three reasons why I wanna increase. The first is that I iron better than you."

              Wife: "Who said you iron better than me?"

              Maid: "Your husband said so."

              Wife: "Oh yeah?"

              Maid: "The second reason is that I am a better cook than you."

              Wife: "Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?"

              Maid: "Your husband said so."

              Wife, increasingly agitated: "Oh he did, did he?"

              Maid: "The third reason is that I am better at sex than you."

              Wife, really boiling now and through gritted teeth asks, "And did my husband say that as well?"

              Maid: "No Ma'am. The gardener did."

              Wife: "So how much do you want?"








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              • Mr. Bones
                Mr. Bones commented
                Editing a comment
                I'm seein a distinct possibility of lumps of coal, in somebody's stockin, tonight!
                Lol!

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                Just remember that the Mallard reaction only happens when browning the skin on a specific type of waterfowl.

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                • RonB
                  RonB commented
                  Editing a comment
                  That's a ducky joke...

                • CaptainMike
                  CaptainMike commented
                  Editing a comment
                  That quacked me up!!

                Patron in a coffee shop calls the waiter over.
                Patron - "This coffee tastes like mud"
                Waiter - "I know its fresh ground"

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