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Meat-Up in Memphis 2020

Join us in Memphis for our Meat-Up! Space is limited to 400, secure your spot by booking early! Click here for details. (https://amazingribs.com/memphis2020)
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  • Bogy
    Club Member
    • Mar 2016
    • 312
    • North Central Iowa
    • Weber Genesis E-310
      Original Grilla
      Smokey Joe® Charcoal Grill 14"
      Thermoworks Smoke Thermometer with gateway
      2 iGrillminis - from before they were Weber.

    Now den, dat comment from Skip reminded me of dis here Ole and Lena story:

    Ole and Lena had a farm right on the border between Minnesota and Iowa.

    One day a surveyor came to Ole and Lena's farm and, after he finished, the surveyor met with the couple and said, "I surveyed your property, but I found a problem. All these years you thought your farm was in Minnesota, but my results show your farm is in Iowa."

    The surveyor looked at Ole and Lena for a response, but instead of them being upset, they looked pleased.

    "I thought you would be upset," said the surveyor. "Why do you both look so happy?"

    "Well," said Ole, "I'm so glad now. I didn't think we could stand another of those terrible Minnesota winters!"

    Comment

    • Bogy
      Club Member
      • Mar 2016
      • 312
      • North Central Iowa
      • Weber Genesis E-310
        Original Grilla
        Smokey Joe® Charcoal Grill 14"
        Thermoworks Smoke Thermometer with gateway
        2 iGrillminis - from before they were Weber.

      There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level. Stuff that will make them scream, cry, and howl in pain and anger!" He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.

      Comment

      • RonB
        Club Member
        • Apr 2016
        • 10820
        • Near Richmond VA
        • Weber Performer Deluxe
          SNS
          Pizza insert
          Rotisserie
          Smokenator 1000
          Cookshack Smokette Elite
          2 Thermapens
          Chefalarm
          Dot
          lots of probes.
          CyberQ

        Wife texts husband: Windows frozen - won't open.

        Husband texts back: Pour hot water around edges, then tap with hammer.




        10 minutes pass. . . .

        Wife texts husband: Computer REALLY messed up NOW!

        Comment

        • Bogy
          Club Member
          • Mar 2016
          • 312
          • North Central Iowa
          • Weber Genesis E-310
            Original Grilla
            Smokey Joe® Charcoal Grill 14"
            Thermoworks Smoke Thermometer with gateway
            2 iGrillminis - from before they were Weber.

          Sven and Ole buy a mule. But when they get it home, they can’t get it into the barn. It just won’t go.

          Sven says, “I know just the problem. He won’t fit through the door. His ears are too long.”

          Ole sees that Sven is right, thinks a bit, and then says, “I know what we can do. We should raise the barn by a foot, so he’ll fit.”

          Sven asks, “Wouldn’t it be easier to dig a ditch for him to walk in?”
          Ole says, “Sven, don’t be such a dummy! It’s his ears that are too long, not his legs!”

          Comment

          • Bogy
            Club Member
            • Mar 2016
            • 312
            • North Central Iowa
            • Weber Genesis E-310
              Original Grilla
              Smokey Joe® Charcoal Grill 14"
              Thermoworks Smoke Thermometer with gateway
              2 iGrillminis - from before they were Weber.

            Ole hears that Sven just bought a new truck, so he goes over to take a look at it. When he gets there, he sees dents all over the truck, and Sven sitting in the driveway behind the truck.

            Ole says, “Sven, why did you buy a truck with dents?”

            Sven says, “Oh, I made a real good deal. It got dented in a hailstorm, so the salesman gave me $50 off the price. And he said that all I have to do is blow on the tailpipe, and those dents will pop right out. But
            I’ve been sitting here blowing on this tailpipe for two hours now, and I don’t think it's working.

            Ole says, “Sven, don’t be such a dummy! You have to close the windows first!”

            Comment

            • Bogy
              Club Member
              • Mar 2016
              • 312
              • North Central Iowa
              • Weber Genesis E-310
                Original Grilla
                Smokey Joe® Charcoal Grill 14"
                Thermoworks Smoke Thermometer with gateway
                2 iGrillminis - from before they were Weber.

              In court, the trucking company's lawyer was questioning Ole. "Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine'?" asked the lawyer.

              Ole responded, "Vell, I'll tell you vat happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule, Bessie, into the..."

              "I didn't ask for any details", the lawyer interrupted. "Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?"

              Ole said, "Vell, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road...."

              The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question."

              By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Ole's answer and said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favorite mule, Bessie".

              Ole thanked the Judge and proceeded. "Vell as I vas saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer and vas driving her down the highway ven this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I vas thrown into one ditch and Bessie vas thrown into the other. I vas hurting, real bad and didn't vant to move. However, I could hear Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans. Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her fatal condition, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes. Then the Patrolman came across the road, gun still in hand, looked at me and said, 'How are you feeling?'"
              "Now vat the HELL vould YOU say?"

              Comment


              • EdF
                EdF commented
                Editing a comment
                Get 'em, Ole!
            • Willy
              Charter Member
              • Apr 2015
              • 1765
              • High Desert of the Great Southwest

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              Comment

              • RonB
                Club Member
                • Apr 2016
                • 10820
                • Near Richmond VA
                • Weber Performer Deluxe
                  SNS
                  Pizza insert
                  Rotisserie
                  Smokenator 1000
                  Cookshack Smokette Elite
                  2 Thermapens
                  Chefalarm
                  Dot
                  lots of probes.
                  CyberQ

                Meanwhile in Canada:

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                Comment

                • holehogg
                  Club Member
                  • Nov 2017
                  • 1594
                  • Port Elizabeth, South Africa

                  Whiskey and ice damages your wallet
                  Gin and ice damages your reputation
                  Rum and ice damages your liver
                  Cane and ice damages your sight
                  Wine and ice damages your walk
                  Vodka and ice damages your pancreas
                  Brandy and ice damages your brain

                  Ice is extremely dangerous.

                  Comment


                  • EdF
                    EdF commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Wisdom! (Who need reason, anyway)?

                  • Huskee
                    Huskee commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Common denominator. Can't argue with the math there.
                • fkrall
                  Club Member
                  • Jan 2017
                  • 82
                  • Northern NJ

                  "Do you smoke after sex?"

                  "I don't know; I've never looked."

                  Comment

                  • RonB
                    Club Member
                    • Apr 2016
                    • 10820
                    • Near Richmond VA
                    • Weber Performer Deluxe
                      SNS
                      Pizza insert
                      Rotisserie
                      Smokenator 1000
                      Cookshack Smokette Elite
                      2 Thermapens
                      Chefalarm
                      Dot
                      lots of probes.
                      CyberQ

                    My buddy asked if he could crash on my couch tonight. I had to explain to him that I was married now…



                    …and that’s where I sleep.

                    Comment

                    • wcpreston
                      Club Member
                      • Nov 2016
                      • 155

                      Here's a few "Dad jokes" that crack me up.

                      Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Curtis.

                      What do you call a dear w/no eyes? No idear.
                      What do you call the same dear w/no legs? Still no idear.

                      My daughter screeched, "Daaaaaad, you haven't listened to one word I've said, have you!?" What a strange way to start a conversation with me...

                      My friend keeps saying "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water." I know he means well.

                      What's the best part about living in Switzerland? I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.

                      What does an angry pepper do? It gets jalapeño your face.

                      Comment


                      • CaptainMike
                        CaptainMike commented
                        Editing a comment
                        That last one reminds of a recent holiday greeting I got: weeweechu a merry Christmas too!

                      • Huskee
                        Huskee commented
                        Editing a comment
                        Thanks for the plethora of jokes. It means a lot.
                    • JCBBQ
                      Club Member
                      • Jan 2016
                      • 1032
                      • Jersey City, NJ
                      • Primo Oval XL Ceramic Cooker
                        Pit Barrel Cooker
                        2x Mavrick 732
                        Therma Pen Orange
                        Favorite Bourbon Blanton's
                        SF Giants

                        MCS wish list - Lone Star Grillz off set

                      Click image for larger version

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                      Saw this on Instagram 😂🤣😂🤣

                      Comment

                      • Craigar
                        Founding Member
                        • Jul 2014
                        • 980
                        • Papillion, NE
                        • * - Weber 26.75" OTG
                          * - Weber 22.5" Premium cloaked in Crimson
                          * - Slow 'N Sear
                          * - Smoke E-Z - 26.75" (The Grain Silo)
                          * - Lodge Sportsman Grill
                          * - Weber Rapid Fire Chimney Starter
                          * - Thermoworks ThermoPop
                          * - Thermoworks Dot
                          * - iGrill2 - 4 probes
                          * - Favorite Beer - the cold one in my hand (craft beers of all flavors; haven't had a blue yummy in over 6 years) my tastes change with the season so it is difficult to name just a couple. However, I will occasionally have a vanilla porter float in the summer (Empyrean Vanilla Porter w/a scoop of homemade vanilla ice cream) as I usually drink stouts & porters in the colder months, pale ales & IPAs in the warmer months. I have to add Not Your Father's Root Beer to beers I use for floats.
                          * - Booze - I don't really have a favorite, but lean towards single malt Scotch & Irish whiskey
                          * - Wines - Reds: mainly the heavy stuff mixed in with the occasional pinot noir ( I have yet to meet a malbec I didn't like); Whites: German & Nebraska (hey, I have to support the home team)
                          * - Favorite Spice outlets - Frisco Spices in LaVista, NE (the local butcher supply shop); Volcanic Peppers in Bellevue, NE
                          * - Current butchers: Just Good Meats & Fareway Foods

                        Comment

                        • panteracfh3
                          Club Member
                          • Jul 2018
                          • 263
                          • Tewksbury, MA
                          • "Jump in the fire!" - Metallica

                          Son: "Dad are we Irish?"
                          Dad: "Shut up and drink your whiskey."

                          Comment


                          • CaptainMike
                            CaptainMike commented
                            Editing a comment
                            It could happen!!!

                          • Mr. Bones
                            Mr. Bones commented
                            Editing a comment
                            LMAO!!!!

                            Sláinte!

                          • Thunder77
                            Thunder77 commented
                            Editing a comment
                            An Irishman walks out of a bar... Hey it could happen! :-)

                        Announcement

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                        Meat-Up in Memphis 2020

                        Join us in Memphis for our Meat-Up! Space is limited to 400, secure your spot by booking early! Click here for details. (https://amazingribs.com/memphis2020)
                        See more
                        See less
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                        Meat-Up in Memphis

                        T-Shirts & More T-Shirts & More
                        Order men's and women's T-Shirts, Sweatshirts, Aprons, Mugs, Caps, Tote Bags, Flasks, and more, all imprinted with the Pitmaster Club logo. There's even a spiral bound journal where you can make notes on your cooks.

                        Cool Embroidered Shirt Cool Embroidered Shirt
                        This beautifully embroidered shirt is the same one Meathead wears in public and on TV. It's wash and wear and doesn't need ironing (really!), but it is a soft cottonlike feel. Choice of four colors and both men's and women's.

                        Click here for more info.

                        Support ARC

                        Many merchants pay us a small referral fee when you click our links and purchase from them. On Amazon it works on everything from grills to diapers, they never tell us what you bought, and it has zero impact on the price you pay, but has a major impact on our ability to improve this site! And remember, we only recommend products we love. If you like AmazingRibs.com, please save this link and use it every time you go to Amazon.

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                        BBQ Stars

                        SPOTLIGHT

                        These are not ads or paid placements. These Are Some Of Our Favorite Tools And Toys.

                        These are products we have tested, won our top awards, and are highly recommend. Click here to read how we test, about our medals, and what they mean.

                        Use our links when you buy things

                        Many merchants pay us a small referral fee when you click our links and purchase from them. On Amazon it works on everything from grills to diapers, they never tell us what you bought, it has zero impact on the price you pay, but has a major impact on our ability to improve this site! If you like AmazingRibs.com, please save this link and use it every time you go to Amazon

                        https://tinyurl.com/amazingribs

                         


                        Placeholder

                        Surely you know somebody who loves outdoor cooking who deserves a gift for the holidays, birthday, anniversary, or just for being wonderful. There he is, right in the mirror! Here are our selections of best ideas, all Platinum or Gold Medalists, listed by price.

                        Click here to see our list of Gold Medal Gifts


                        Digital Thermometers Are Your Most Valuable Tool And Here's A Great Buy!

                        maverick PT55 thermometer

                        A good digital thermometer keeps you from serving dry overcooked food or dangerously undercooked food. They are much faster and much more accurate than dial thermometers. YOU NEED ONE!

                        Click here for more info on the Maverick PT-55 Waterproof Instant-Read Thermometer Review shown above. It may be the best value in a thermometer out there


                        If you have a Weber Kettle, you need the Slow 'N' Sear

                        slow n sear

                        The Slow 'N' Sear turns your grill into a first class smoker and also creates an extremely hot sear zone you can use to create steakhouse steaks.

                        Click here for our article on this breakthrough tool


                        Bring The Heat With Broil King Signet's Dual Tube Burners

                        the good one grill

                        The Broil King Signet 320 is a modestly priced, 3-burner gas grill that packs a lot of value and power under the hood. Broil King's proprietary, dual-tube burners get hot fast and are able to achieve high, searing temps that rival most comparatively priced gas grills. The quality cast aluminum housing carries a Limited Lifetime Warranty.

                        Click here to read our complete review


                        The Good-One Is A Superb Grill And A Superb Smoker All In One

                        the good one grill

                        The Good-One Open Range is a charcoal grill with an offset smoke chamber attached. It is dramatically different from a traditional offset smoker. The grill sits low in front and doubles as a firebox for the smoke chamber which is spliced on above and behind so it can work like a horizontal offset smoker only better. By placing the heat source behind and under the smokebox instead of off to the side, Open Range produces even temperature from left to right, something almost impossible to achieve with a standard barrel shaped offset.

                        Click here to read our complete review


                        Pit Barrel Cooker Smoker

                        Griddle And Deep Fryer All In One

                        The flat top does the burgers and the fryer does the fries. Use the griddle for bacon, eggs, and home fries. Or pancakes, fajitas, grilled cheese, you name it. Why stink up the house deep frying and spatter all over? Do your fried chicken and calamari outside. Blackstone's Rangetop Combo With Deep Fryer does it all. Plus it has a built in cutting board, garbage bag holder, and paper towel holder. An additional work table on the left side provides plenty of counter space.

                        Click here to read our detailed review and to order


                        Pit Barrel Cooker Smoker

                        The Pit Barrel Cooker May Be Too Easy

                        The PBC has a rabid cult following for good reason. It is absolutely positively without a doubt the best bargain on a smoker in the world. Period. This baby will cook circles around the cheap offset sideways barrel smokers in the hardware stores because temperature control is so much easier. Best of all, it is only $299 delivered to your door!

                        Click here to read our detailed review and the raves from people who own them


                        Compact Powerful Sear Machine For Your Next Tailgater

                        Placeholder

                        Char-Broil's Grill2Go x200 is a super-portable, fun little sizzler made of heavy, rust-proof cast aluminum. The lid snaps shut. Grab the handle and you're off to the party! Char-Broil's TRU-Infrared design produces searing heat while reducing fuel consumption. A 16 ounce LP gas canister is enough to keep you flipping burgers for hours.

                        Click here to read our detailed review and to order


                        The Cool Kettle With The Hinged Hood We Always Wanted

                        NK-22-Ck Grill

                        Their NK22CK-C Charcoal Kettle Grill puts a few spins on the familiar kettle design. In fact, the hinged lid with a handle on the front, spins in a rotary motion 180 degrees. It's hard to beat a Weber kettle, but Napoleon holds its own and adds some unique features to make the NK22CK-C a viable alternative.

                        Click here for more about what makes this grill special


                        GrillGrates Take Gas Grills To The Infrared Zone

                        grill grates

                        GrillGrates(TM) amplify heat, prevent flareups, make flipping foods easier, keep small foods from committing suicide, kill hotspots, are easier to clean, flip over to make a fine griddle, and can be easily removed and moved from one grill to another. You can even throw wood chips, pellets, or sawdust between the rails and deliver a quick burst of smoke to whatever is above. Every gas grill needs them.

                        Click here for more about what makes these grates so special


                        kareubequ bbq smoker

                        Our Favorite Backyard Smoker

                        The amazing Karubecue is the most innovative smoker in the world. The quality of meat from this machine is astonishing. At its crux is a patented firebox that burns logs above the cooking chamber and sucks heat and extremely clean blue smoke into the thermostat controlled oven. It is our favorite smoker, period.

                        Click here for our review of this superb smoker


                        Masterbuilt MPS 340/G ThermoTemp XL Propane Smoker

                        masterbuilt gas smoker

                        The First Propane Smoker With A Thermostat Makes This Baby Foolproof

                        Set ThermoTemp's dial from 175° to 350°F and the thermostat inside will adjust the burner just like an indoor kitchen oven. All you need to do is add wood to the tray above the burner to start smokin'.

                        Click here to read our detailed review


                        PK 360 grill

                        Is This Superb Charcoal Grill A Kamado Killer?

                        The PK-360, with 360 square inches of cooking space, this rust free, cast aluminum charcoal grill is durable and easy to use. Four-way venting means it's easy to set up for two zone cooking with more control than single vent Kamado grills. It is much easier to set up for 2-zone cooking than any round kamado. Beautifully designed and completely portable. Meathead says it is his preferrred grill.

                        Click here to read our detailed review of the PK 360

                        Click here to order it direct from PK and get a special deal for AmazingRibs.com readers only


                        Fireboard: The Ultimate Top Of The Line BBQ Thermometer

                        fireboard bbq thermometer

                        With the ability to monitor up to six temperatures simultaneously with either Bluetooth or Wifi on your mobile phone, tablet, or computer, Fireboard is the best digital thermometer we’ve tested.

                        Click here to read our detailed review


                        Finally, A Great Portable Pellet Smoker

                        Green Mountain Davey Crockett Grill

                        Green Mountain's portable Davy Crockett Pellet Smoker is one mean tailgating and picnic machine. But it's also gaining popularity with people who want to add a small, set it and forget it pellet smoker to their backyard arsenal. And with their WiFi capabilities you can control and monitor Davy Crocket from your smart phone or laptop.

                        Click here to read our detailed review and to order