Welcome!


This is a membership forum. As a guest, you can click around a bit. View 5 pages for free. If you would like to participate, please join.

[ Pitmaster Club Information | Join Now | Login | Contact Us ]

There are 4 page views remaining.

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Jokes!

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    The barman refuses to sell another drink drink to a customer. After some squabbling the customer leaves the pub and returns a short while later and puts a piece of tar on the counter and says to the barman "then give me one for the road".

    Comment


      Y'all deserve a laugh:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bfTyEtVIe84

      They don't make 'em like this anymore!

      Comment


      • Mr. Bones
        Mr. Bones commented
        Editing a comment
        Agreed, easily among th best comedians, ever!

      • RonB
        RonB commented
        Editing a comment
        Classic!!!

      • JCGrill
        JCGrill commented
        Editing a comment
        Those two get me going every time. My favorite is the elephant story Tim did for Mama's Family. He had the whole crew laughing.

      U2 have come out with a version of Monopoly called Bonopoly.
      It's a little difficult to play because the streets have no names.

      Comment


        Comment


        • CaptainMike
          CaptainMike commented
          Editing a comment
          Aaaaaaaamen!

        • Henrik
          Henrik commented
          Editing a comment
          “I only drank a bottle of water, honey 😉”

        • EdF
          EdF commented
          Editing a comment
          That was just super-elegant!

        So, do we have any deer hunters here?

        Sven and Ole went hunting for deer one day. As good hunters always do, they stopped to ask the farmer permission to hunt. The farmer agreed to let the two hunt, but warned them that he had a very large farm and it was easy to become lost. He told the two hunters that if they got lost to fire three shots into the air and he would come get them. This sounded like a good plan and they were off.

        About a half hour later the two found themselves totally lost. Sven said, "Ole, I believe ve be lost, you better fire three shots into de air."

        "Ya, I tink you're right, Sven," said Ole. "Ve better get dat farmer going." So Ole fires three shots into the air with great expectations of seeing the farmer.

        A half hour passes and no farmer. Sven says, "Ole, I tink you better fire three more shots into the air, the farmer has not come yet."

        "I can't," said Ole, "I run out of arrows."

        Comment


          Sven was going for his morning walk one day when he walked past Ole's house and saw a sign that said "Boat For Sale." This confused Sven because he knew that Ole didn't own a boat, so he finally decided to go in and ask Ole about it.

          "Hey Ole," said Sven, "I noticed the sign in your yard that says 'Boat For Sale,' but you don't even have a boat. All you have is your old John Deere tractor and combine."

          Ole replied "Yup, and they're boat for sale."

          Comment


          • EdF
            EdF commented
            Editing a comment
            Hah, Sven and Ole jokes!

          • Henrik
            Henrik commented
            Editing a comment
            Ha ha! Love it!

          Click image for larger version

Name:	44235413_10156582108502778_448384239126183936_n.jpg?_nc_cat=107&oh=93282eabd55d1f8549012d75e3af1ed2&oe=5C3DDDB8.jpg
Views:	155
Size:	47.9 KB
ID:	580883

          Comment


          • Bogy
            Bogy commented
            Editing a comment
            CaptainMike, there's the season I grill/smoke 5 or 6 times a week, sometimes multiple times in a day, and then there's the season where I only grill/smoke 2 or 3 times a week. But putting away the grill/smoker, I don't get that either.

          • Huskee
            Huskee commented
            Editing a comment
            Exact same here CaptainMike Bogy My grills & smokers are as much an everyday (well, every week at the very least) item as the fridge & microwave. Grilling season schmilling schmeason!

          • gcdmd
            gcdmd commented
            Editing a comment
            I'm sure we all know someone like this:

            https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/prin...171656524.html

          A guy tries to walk into a bar but the bouncer says, “No tie, no admittance.”

          The guy goes back to his car, looks for a tie but only finds jumper cables. He arranges them around his neck like a tie and heads back in.

          The bouncer gives him an appraising glance, and says “OK; I’ll let you in. But don’t start anything!”

          Comment


            Found this morning on the interwebs:

            Click image for larger version

Name:	Men with beards today.jpg
Views:	122
Size:	46.3 KB
ID:	583994

            Comment


            • EdF
              EdF commented
              Editing a comment
              The one on the left looks like my nephew, but my nephew's beard isn't even quite as good as mine!

            • Mr. Bones
              Mr. Bones commented
              Editing a comment
              Great pic, Brother!
              Nearly expressed Guinness Extra Stout from my nostrils!

            Stranger 1: "Hey, arent' you that guy that brags about the stupidest crap all the time?"

            Stranger 2: "No, I'm the guy that takes the longest baths in the city."

            Comment


              MBMorgan :

              Click image for larger version  Name:	stooges_faceslap.jpg Views:	8 Size:	12.5 KB ID:	584056

              Comment


              • EdF
                EdF commented
                Editing a comment
                Three for three!

              Click image for larger version

Name:	BC74FFA5-C9E0-4393-8558-E5C24A6FE9EF.jpeg
Views:	123
Size:	27.1 KB
ID:	584065MBMorgan
              Last edited by surfdog; October 26, 2018, 02:14 PM. Reason: Image didn’t upload.

              Comment


              • EdF
                EdF commented
                Editing a comment
                Good one!

              In honor of Halloween:

              #1

              Frankenstein enters a bodybuilding competition…


              and finds he has seriously misunderstood the objective.

              #2

              During a zombie apocalypse, where is the safest place to be?


              Washington DC. There aren’t any brains.


              Comment


                A pastor while visiting his 80 year old organist notices a condom floating in a bowl of water on top of the organ. When she returns with the tea his curiosity can't be contained and he asks the question.
                The reply -I was walking in the park the other day and picked up this small package that was lying on the ground and read the insructions. It said place on organ and keep wet, will prevent diseases. You know pastor I haven't been sick since.

                Comment


                  I stole a rabbit the other day and now I'm on the run.

                  Comment


                  • gcdmd
                    gcdmd commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Thank you, Mr. Updike. I hope you and the rabbit will get some rest soon.

                Announcement

                Collapse
                No announcement yet.
                Working...
                X
                false
                0
                Guest
                500
                ["pitmaster-my-membership","login","join-pitmaster","lostpw","reset-password","special-offers","help","nojs","meat-ups","gifts","authaau-alpha","ebooklogin-start","alpha","start"]
                false
                false
                {"count":0,"link":"/forum/announcements/","debug":""}
                Yes
                Rubs Promo
                Meat-Up in Memphis