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  • holehogg
    Club Member
    • Nov 2017
    • 2328
    • Port Elizabeth, South Africa

    The barman refuses to sell another drink drink to a customer. After some squabbling the customer leaves the pub and returns a short while later and puts a piece of tar on the counter and says to the barman "then give me one for the road".

    Comment

    • Willy
      Charter Member
      • Apr 2015
      • 1816
      • High Desert of the Great Southwest

      Y'all deserve a laugh:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bfTyEtVIe84

      They don't make 'em like this anymore!

      Comment


      • Mr. Bones
        Mr. Bones commented
        Editing a comment
        Agreed, easily among th best comedians, ever!

      • RonB
        RonB commented
        Editing a comment
        Classic!!!

      • JCGrill
        JCGrill commented
        Editing a comment
        Those two get me going every time. My favorite is the elephant story Tim did for Mama's Family. He had the whole crew laughing.
    • holehogg
      Club Member
      • Nov 2017
      • 2328
      • Port Elizabeth, South Africa

      U2 have come out with a version of Monopoly called Bonopoly.
      It's a little difficult to play because the streets have no names.

      Comment

      • Bogy
        Club Member
        • Mar 2016
        • 592
        • North Central Iowa
        • Blaz'n Grill Works Grid Iron
          Weber Genesis E-310
          Original Grilla
          Smokey Joe® Charcoal Grill 14"
          Thermoworks ThermoPop
          Thermoworks Thermapen Mk4
          Thermoworks Smoke Thermometer with gateway
          2 iGrillminis - from before they were Weber.

        Comment


        • CaptainMike
          CaptainMike commented
          Editing a comment
          Aaaaaaaamen!

        • Henrik
          Henrik commented
          Editing a comment
          “I only drank a bottle of water, honey 😉”

        • EdF
          EdF commented
          Editing a comment
          That was just super-elegant!
      • Bogy
        Club Member
        • Mar 2016
        • 592
        • North Central Iowa
        • Blaz'n Grill Works Grid Iron
          Weber Genesis E-310
          Original Grilla
          Smokey Joe® Charcoal Grill 14"
          Thermoworks ThermoPop
          Thermoworks Thermapen Mk4
          Thermoworks Smoke Thermometer with gateway
          2 iGrillminis - from before they were Weber.

        So, do we have any deer hunters here?

        Sven and Ole went hunting for deer one day. As good hunters always do, they stopped to ask the farmer permission to hunt. The farmer agreed to let the two hunt, but warned them that he had a very large farm and it was easy to become lost. He told the two hunters that if they got lost to fire three shots into the air and he would come get them. This sounded like a good plan and they were off.

        About a half hour later the two found themselves totally lost. Sven said, "Ole, I believe ve be lost, you better fire three shots into de air."

        "Ya, I tink you're right, Sven," said Ole. "Ve better get dat farmer going." So Ole fires three shots into the air with great expectations of seeing the farmer.

        A half hour passes and no farmer. Sven says, "Ole, I tink you better fire three more shots into the air, the farmer has not come yet."

        "I can't," said Ole, "I run out of arrows."

        Comment

        • Bogy
          Club Member
          • Mar 2016
          • 592
          • North Central Iowa
          • Blaz'n Grill Works Grid Iron
            Weber Genesis E-310
            Original Grilla
            Smokey Joe® Charcoal Grill 14"
            Thermoworks ThermoPop
            Thermoworks Thermapen Mk4
            Thermoworks Smoke Thermometer with gateway
            2 iGrillminis - from before they were Weber.

          Sven was going for his morning walk one day when he walked past Ole's house and saw a sign that said "Boat For Sale." This confused Sven because he knew that Ole didn't own a boat, so he finally decided to go in and ask Ole about it.

          "Hey Ole," said Sven, "I noticed the sign in your yard that says 'Boat For Sale,' but you don't even have a boat. All you have is your old John Deere tractor and combine."

          Ole replied "Yup, and they're boat for sale."

          Comment


          • EdF
            EdF commented
            Editing a comment
            Hah, Sven and Ole jokes!

          • Henrik
            Henrik commented
            Editing a comment
            Ha ha! Love it!
        • Attjack
          Club Member
          • Aug 2017
          • 3960
          • Primo XL
            Weber 26"
            Weber 22"
            Weber 22"
            Weber 18"
            Weber Jumbo Joe
            Weber Green Smokey Joe (Thanks, Mr. Bones!)
            Weber Smokey Joe
            Orion Smoker

            DigiQ DX2
            Slow 'N Sear XL
            Arteflame 26.75" Insert

            Blaze BLZ-4-NG 32-Inch 4-Burner Built-In
            - With Rear Infrared Burner
            - With Infrared Sear Burner
            - With Rotisserie
            Empava 2 Burner Gas Cooktop
            Weber Spirit 210
            - With Grillgrates
            ​​​​​​​ - With Rotisserie
            Weber Q2200

            Blackstone Pizza Oven

            Portable propane burners (3)
            Propane turkey Fryer

            Fire pit grill

          Click image for larger version

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          Comment


          • Bogy
            Bogy commented
            Editing a comment
            CaptainMike, there's the season I grill/smoke 5 or 6 times a week, sometimes multiple times in a day, and then there's the season where I only grill/smoke 2 or 3 times a week. But putting away the grill/smoker, I don't get that either.

          • Huskee
            Huskee commented
            Editing a comment
            Exact same here CaptainMike Bogy My grills & smokers are as much an everyday (well, every week at the very least) item as the fridge & microwave. Grilling season schmilling schmeason!

          • gcdmd
            gcdmd commented
            Editing a comment
            I'm sure we all know someone like this:

            https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/prin...171656524.html
        • RonB
          Club Member
          • Apr 2016
          • 12683
          • Near Richmond VA
          • Weber Performer Deluxe
            SNS
            Pizza insert
            Rotisserie
            Smokenator 1000
            Cookshack Smokette Elite
            2 Thermapens
            Chefalarm
            Dot
            lots of probes.
            CyberQ

          A guy tries to walk into a bar but the bouncer says, “No tie, no admittance.”

          The guy goes back to his car, looks for a tie but only finds jumper cables. He arranges them around his neck like a tie and heads back in.

          The bouncer gives him an appraising glance, and says “OK; I’ll let you in. But don’t start anything!”

          Comment

          • MBMorgan
            Club Member
            • Sep 2015
            • 6189
            • Colorado
            • > Weber Genesis EP-330
              > Grilla Grills Original Grilla (OG) pellet smoker
              > Pit Barrel Cooker (gone to a new home)
              > WeberQ 2000 (on "loan" to a relative)
              > Old Smokey Electric (for chickens mostly - when it's too nasty out
              to fiddle with a more capable cooker)
              > Luhr Jensen Little Chief Electric - Top Loader circa 1990 (smoked fish & jerky)
              > Thermoworks Smoke
              > 3 Thermoworks Chef Alarms
              > Thermoworks Thermapen
              > Thermoworks IR-GUN-S
              > Anova sous vide circulator
              > Searzall torch
              > BBQ Guru Rib Ring

              > Favorite Beer: Guinness Extra Stout, Fat Tire, Anchor Steam, or Alaskan Amber
              > Favorite Wine: Klinker Brick Old Ghost Zinfandel or Matetic Corralillo Winemaker's Blend
              > Favorite Whiskey: Balvenie Double Wood Scotch or Jameson Irish

            Found this morning on the interwebs:

            Click image for larger version

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            Comment


            • EdF
              EdF commented
              Editing a comment
              The one on the left looks like my nephew, but my nephew's beard isn't even quite as good as mine!

            • Mr. Bones
              Mr. Bones commented
              Editing a comment
              Great pic, Brother!
              Nearly expressed Guinness Extra Stout from my nostrils!
          • Huskee
            Pit Boss
            • May 2014
            • 14974
            • central MI, USA
            • Follow me on Instagram, huskeesbarbecue

              Want a free bottle of whiskey? Check out my link to Flaviar.com, you join with it, we both get a $50 bottle free.

              Smokers / Grills
              • Yoder loaded Wichita offset smoker
              • PBC
              • Grilla Silverbac pellet grill
              • Slow 'N Sear Deluxe Kamado (SnSK)
              • Dyna-Glo XL Premium dual chamber charcoal grill
              • Weber 22" Original Kettle Premium (copper)
              • Weber 26" Original Kettle Premium (black)
              • Weber Jumbo Joe Gold (18.5")
              • Weber Smokey Joe Silver (14.5")
              • Brinkmann cabinet charcoal smoker (repurposed)

              Thermometers
              • (3) Maverick XR-50: 4-probe Wireless Thermometers
              • (7) Maverick ET-732s
              • (1) Maverick ET-735 Bluetooth (in box)
              • (1) Smoke by ThermoWorks
              • (1) Signals by ThermoWorks
              • Thermapen MkII, orange
              • ThermoPop, yellow
              • ThermoWorks ChefAlarm
              • Morpilot 6-probe wireless
              • ThermoWorks Infrared IRK2
              • ThermoWorks fridge & freezer therms as well

              Accessories
              • Instant Pot 6qt
              • Anova Bluetooth SV
              • Kitchen Aide mixer & meat grinder attachment
              • Kindling Cracker King (XL)
              • BBQ Dragon
              • Weber full & half chimneys, Char-Broil Half Time chimney
              • Weber grill topper
              • Slow 'N Sear Original, XL, and SnS Charcoal Basket (for Jumbo Joe)
              • Drip 'N Griddle Pan, 22' Easy Spin Grate, and Elevated Cooking grate, by ABCbarbecue
              • Pittsburgh Digital Moisture Meter

              Beverages
              • Favorite summer beer: Leinenkugels Summer & Grapefruit Shandy, Hamm's, Michelob Ultra Pure Gold
              • Fav other beer: DAB, Sam Adams regular, Third Shift amber or Coors Batch 19, Stella Artois
              • Fav cheap beers: Pabst, High Life, Hamm's & Stroh's
              • Most favorite beer: The one in your fridge
              • Wine: Red- big, bold, tannic & peppery- Petite Sirah, Zinfandel, Cabernet Sauv, Sangiovese, Syrah, etc
              • Whiskey: Buffalo Trace, Eagle Rare, E.H. Taylor, Blanton's, Old Forester 1870, Elijah Craig, Basil Hayden's. Neat please.
              • Scotch: Current favorite- The Arran (anything by them), Glenmorangie 12yr Lasanta, sherry cask finished. The Balvenie Double Wood, also like Oban 18yr, and The Glenlivet Nadurra (Oloroso sherry cask finished) among others. Neat please.

              About me
              Real name: Aaron
              Location: Farwell, Michigan- near Clare. (dead center of lower peninsula)

              Occupation:
              • Healthcare- Licensed & Registered Respiratory Therapist (RRT) for MidMichigan Health, a University of Michigan Health System.

            Stranger 1: "Hey, arent' you that guy that brags about the stupidest crap all the time?"

            Stranger 2: "No, I'm the guy that takes the longest baths in the city."

            Comment

            • EdF
              EdF
              Club Member
              • Jul 2016
              • 3207
              • Atlantic Highlands, NJ
              • Uuni Pro (new kid in town)
                Karubeque C-60
                Large BGE since 2002 + plate setter + pizza stone + upper grid + stainless paella pan for drippings (the best!)
                TEC Cherokee FR since 2014 (portable infrared grill - does a mighty sear)
                Polyscience Sous Vide Pro since 2012 (wasn't much else available in those days)
                Thermapen
                Thermapen Air
                ThermaQ (or its predecessor)
                Thermoworks Hi temp IR
                BBQ Dragon & Chimney of Insanity
                Various other stuff

              MBMorgan :

              Click image for larger version  Name:	stooges_faceslap.jpg Views:	8 Size:	12.5 KB ID:	584056

              Comment


              • EdF
                EdF commented
                Editing a comment
                Three for three!
            • surfdog
              Club Member
              • Mar 2016
              • 1085
              • Sunny SoCal
              • Cooking gadgets
                Weber Summit Charcoal Grill Center
                Weber Summit Platinum D6
                Blue Rhino Razor
                Dyna-Glo XL Premium Dual Chamber
                Camp Chef Somerset IV along with their Artisan Pizza Oven 90
                Anova WiFi

                Thermometers
                Thermapen Mk4 - ThermaQ High Temp Kit - ThermaQ Meathead Kit - ThermaQ WiFi - ThermoWorks IR-GUN-S - ThermoWorks Signals & Billows - ThermoPop -ThermoWorks ProNeedle - ThermoWorks TimeStick Trio x2 - and a Christopher Kimball timer - NO, I do not work for ThermoWorks...I just like their products.

                Other useful bits...
                KitchenAid 7-qt Pro Line stand mixer
                A Black & Decker food processor that I can't seem to murder
                A couple of immersion blenders, one a "consumer" model & the other a "high end" Italian thing. Yes, the Italian one is a bit better, but only marginally
                Instant Pot Duo Evo Plus 8-qt + accessories like egg-bite & egg holders
                All-Clad pots & pans, along with some cast iron...everything from 7" Skookie pans to 8.5qt Dutch ovens
                Weber GBS griddle, pizza stone, and wok
                Knives range from Mercer to F. Dick to "You spent how much for one knife? One knife?!" LOL

              Click image for larger version

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              Last edited by surfdog; October 26, 2018, 02:14 PM. Reason: Image didn’t upload.

              Comment


              • EdF
                EdF commented
                Editing a comment
                Good one!
            • RonB
              Club Member
              • Apr 2016
              • 12683
              • Near Richmond VA
              • Weber Performer Deluxe
                SNS
                Pizza insert
                Rotisserie
                Smokenator 1000
                Cookshack Smokette Elite
                2 Thermapens
                Chefalarm
                Dot
                lots of probes.
                CyberQ

              In honor of Halloween:

              #1

              Frankenstein enters a bodybuilding competition…


              and finds he has seriously misunderstood the objective.

              #2

              During a zombie apocalypse, where is the safest place to be?


              Washington DC. There aren’t any brains.


              Comment

              • holehogg
                Club Member
                • Nov 2017
                • 2328
                • Port Elizabeth, South Africa

                A pastor while visiting his 80 year old organist notices a condom floating in a bowl of water on top of the organ. When she returns with the tea his curiosity can't be contained and he asks the question.
                The reply -I was walking in the park the other day and picked up this small package that was lying on the ground and read the insructions. It said place on organ and keep wet, will prevent diseases. You know pastor I haven't been sick since.

                Comment

                • holehogg
                  Club Member
                  • Nov 2017
                  • 2328
                  • Port Elizabeth, South Africa

                  I stole a rabbit the other day and now I'm on the run.

                  Comment


                  • gcdmd
                    gcdmd commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Thank you, Mr. Updike. I hope you and the rabbit will get some rest soon.

                Announcement

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                Meat-Up in Memphis 2021

                Join us in Memphis for our Meat-Up! Space is limited to 400, secure your spot by booking early!
                Click here for details. (https://amazingribs.com/memphis)
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                These are products we have tested, won our top awards, and are highly recommend. Click here to read how we test, about our medals, and what they mean.

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                If you have a Weber Kettle, you need the Slow 'N' Sear

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                Griddle And Deep Fryer In One

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                Click here to read our detailed review and to order


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                Click here to read our comprehensive Platinum Medal review


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                Delta by Nuke,
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                Genesis II E-335 
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                Click here to read our detailed review of the PK 360

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                Click here for more about what makes this grill special


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                Click here to read our detailed review and to order