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  • Bogy
    Club Member
    • Mar 2016
    • 591
    • North Central Iowa
    • Blaz'n Grill Works Grid Iron
      Weber Genesis E-310
      Original Grilla
      Smokey Joe® Charcoal Grill 14"
      Thermoworks ThermoPop
      Thermoworks Thermapen Mk4
      Thermoworks Smoke Thermometer with gateway
      2 iGrillminis - from before they were Weber.

    Ole's dream had always been to leave Minnesota and see the ocean. He would always try to get Lena to take off and go to Cape Cod, but she always said she couldn't leave because of work. Finally, to get Ole to stop pestering her, she told him he should just take the trip by himself.

    Ole made it to Cape Cod all right, and was completely in awe when he finally got to see the ocean. He wandered up and down the beach, amazed by its size. Not looking where he was going, he accidentally kicked over a half-buried bottle in the sand. In a huge puff of smoke, a genie appeared. Thankful to be released, the genie offered Ole one wish.

    "I vould really love to go to Norvay, but I really don't like to fly, so I tink it vould be great if I could drive there", Ole said. "I'd like you to build me a bridge all da vay across da ocean so I can drive over and see my relatives." The genie, realizing the complexity of his wish, told Ole to try to think of a little more realistic wish. Ole said, "OK. Ya know, I really love Lena, but dere are tings I just don't understand about her. Can you make it so I can understand vat I need to do to always make her happy."

    The genie replied, "Did you want that bridge to be a two-lane or a four-lane?"

    Comment

    • Bogy
      Club Member
      • Mar 2016
      • 591
      • North Central Iowa
      • Blaz'n Grill Works Grid Iron
        Weber Genesis E-310
        Original Grilla
        Smokey Joe® Charcoal Grill 14"
        Thermoworks ThermoPop
        Thermoworks Thermapen Mk4
        Thermoworks Smoke Thermometer with gateway
        2 iGrillminis - from before they were Weber.

      Well, it turned out the bridge really didn't work out, so Ole ended up flying after all.

      Ole was going on a trip to Norway and after boarding the plane he sat down in seat 1A. After a few minutes the passenger assigned to seat 1A came along and pointed out to Ole that he was in the wrong seat. Ole told the other passenger that he was comfortable where he was, and he wanted to be in that seat so he'd be the first one off the plane when they got to Norway and the other passenger could find another seat.

      The passenger tried to convince Ole to move by showing him his ticket and seat assignment. Ole refused to move. In frustration, the passenger went to see the stewardess and told her what had happened. The stewardess spoke to Ole at length but was unable to convince him to move. The stewardess got very vocal with Ole and after coming to the verge of losing her temper she gave up and went to see if the captain could help.

      The captain came back to Ole, bent down toward Ole's ear and whispered something. Ole jumped to his feet and ran back to his proper seat. The other passenger and the stewardess were astonished that the captain could get Ole to move so easily. They asked him what he whispered to Ole. The captain said, "I just told him that 1A wasn't going to Norway."

      Comment


      • Henrik
        Henrik commented
        Editing a comment
        Ha ha ha! Love it!

      • Bogy
        Bogy commented
        Editing a comment
        Henrik I have a joke about Norwegians, Swedes, and pigs. And that's all I'm going to say about that. I could change Swedes it to Hollanders.
    • RonB
      Club Member
      • Apr 2016
      • 12680
      • Near Richmond VA
      • Weber Performer Deluxe
        SNS
        Pizza insert
        Rotisserie
        Smokenator 1000
        Cookshack Smokette Elite
        2 Thermapens
        Chefalarm
        Dot
        lots of probes.
        CyberQ

      Definition of conflicted:

      Seeing your Mother in Law drive off a cliff...


      In your brand new fully loaded F350 Super Duty Pickup.
      Last edited by RonB; August 31, 2018, 02:47 PM.

      Comment


      • Bogy
        Bogy commented
        Editing a comment
        That's the part that made it such a tragedy!

      • Mudbeaver
        Mudbeaver commented
        Editing a comment
        I agree Bogy !

      • Mr. Bones
        Mr. Bones commented
        Editing a comment
        Bogy Mudbeaver
        Don't sweat it, whatsoever, brothers!
        I have serious doubts that that aluminium body will hurt th poor cliff much, if any!
        RonB Way I sees it, Brand New=Full Coverage! Win Win Deal, sez I!!!!!
    • Mudbeaver
      Former Member
      • May 2018
      • 457
      • Marathon NY

      Comment


      • gcdmd
        gcdmd commented
        Editing a comment
        Lol
    • Mudbeaver
      Former Member
      • May 2018
      • 457
      • Marathon NY

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      Comment

      • Mosca
        Charter Member
        • Oct 2014
        • 3353
        • PA
        • Large Big Green Egg, Weber Performer Deluxe, Weber Smokey Joe Silver, Maverick 732, DigiQ, and too much other stuff to mention.

        Click image for larger version

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        Comment


        • RonB
          RonB commented
          Editing a comment
          Say whaaaat??

        • Mudbeaver
          Mudbeaver commented
          Editing a comment
          Not gonna lie, took a second to figure that one out

        • Thunder77
          Thunder77 commented
          Editing a comment
          I hate to be a pedant, but the term "equestrian" actually refers to the rider of the beast, not the beast itself. :-) And I believe it should be precipitation, not precipitate, but that may be arguable.
      • Mosca
        Charter Member
        • Oct 2014
        • 3353
        • PA
        • Large Big Green Egg, Weber Performer Deluxe, Weber Smokey Joe Silver, Maverick 732, DigiQ, and too much other stuff to mention.

        Click image for larger version

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        Comment

        • THE Humble Texan
          Club Member
          • Oct 2017
          • 171

          Dad buys a lie detector robot which slaps people when they lie.
          He decides to test it at dinner. "Son where were you today?"
          The son says "At school, Dad"
          the robot slaps the son.
          "Ok, I watched a DVD at my friend's house"
          "What DVD?"
          "Toy Story."
          The robot slaps the son again.
          "OK! It was a porno."cries the son.
          "Shat?! When I was your age I didn't know what porn was."
          The robot slaps the dad.
          Mom laughs "HaHaHa! He certainly is your son."
          The robot slaps the mom.

          Comment

          • holehogg
            Club Member
            • Nov 2017
            • 2328
            • Port Elizabeth, South Africa

            We lost all our cattle today
            Oh no did they suffer?
            No! They ran away too fast for me to catch them!!!

            Comment

            • Mosca
              Charter Member
              • Oct 2014
              • 3353
              • PA
              • Large Big Green Egg, Weber Performer Deluxe, Weber Smokey Joe Silver, Maverick 732, DigiQ, and too much other stuff to mention.

              If you don't know, 11"8" is a railroad underpass in NC. It's up to 130 now.

              Comment


              • Mudbeaver
                Mudbeaver commented
                Editing a comment
                Someday they’ll learn they can’t just rent those trucks to just anyone

              • gcdmd
                gcdmd commented
                Editing a comment
                I liked # 10, where the Two Men and a Truck did a demo for the guy following in the U-Haul.

              • Bogy
                Bogy commented
                Editing a comment
                Last week we had a kid being chased by the Hway Patrol who got off the 4 lane 6 miles south of my town who ignored the "Road closed 2 miles ahead" and several more "road closed" and "dead end" signs, took out the cable holding up a power pole, doubled back and then turned down the street where the elementary school was about to dismiss. Where he was met by an assortment of law enforcement.
            • Donw
              Club Member
              • Jul 2017
              • 3025

              In Baltimore a boy sees a vicious dog threatening a young girl.

              He picks up a rock and throws it at the dog killing it and thus saving the victim.

              A man rushes up and states that he is a local reporter, saw the whole thing, and will write a story about what happened in tomorrow’s paper.

              The man tells the boy that the headline will read “Young Ravens Fan Saves Girl from Attack by Vicious Dog,” and asks what he thinks of that headline.

              The boy replies that he doesn’t follow the Ravens.

              Understanding, the reporter tells the boy that then the headline will read “Young Redskins Fan Saves Girl from Attack by Vicious Dog.” Once again he asks the boy what he thinks.

              The boy replies that he doesn’t follow the Redskins either but is in fact a Cowboys fan.

              Next morning the article is published in the paper with the headline: “Vicious Redneck kill Family Pet.”

              Comment


              • Bogy
                Bogy commented
                Editing a comment
                I just gotta change a few names and I can use that one.
            • Bogy
              Club Member
              • Mar 2016
              • 591
              • North Central Iowa
              • Blaz'n Grill Works Grid Iron
                Weber Genesis E-310
                Original Grilla
                Smokey Joe® Charcoal Grill 14"
                Thermoworks ThermoPop
                Thermoworks Thermapen Mk4
                Thermoworks Smoke Thermometer with gateway
                2 iGrillminis - from before they were Weber.

              Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.
              Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough.
              After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, Kin ya swallar?'
              The woman shakes her head no. Then he asks, 'Kin ya breathe?'
              The woman begins to turn blue, and shakes her head no.
              The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers, and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue.
              The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm, and the obstruction flies out of her mouth.As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table. His partner says, 'Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I ain't niver seed nobody do it!'

              Comment


              • EdF
                EdF commented
                Editing a comment
                Lol!

              • jecucolo
                jecucolo commented
                Editing a comment
                Too funny!
            • Mosca
              Charter Member
              • Oct 2014
              • 3353
              • PA
              • Large Big Green Egg, Weber Performer Deluxe, Weber Smokey Joe Silver, Maverick 732, DigiQ, and too much other stuff to mention.

              Click image for larger version

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              Comment

              • holehogg
                Club Member
                • Nov 2017
                • 2328
                • Port Elizabeth, South Africa

                2 sheep chatting in a pasture
                First sheep Baaaah's and the other replies with a Moooo
                Whats going on the first asks
                I'm learning a foreign language the reply

                I'm sorry

                Comment

              • Bogy
                Club Member
                • Mar 2016
                • 591
                • North Central Iowa
                • Blaz'n Grill Works Grid Iron
                  Weber Genesis E-310
                  Original Grilla
                  Smokey Joe® Charcoal Grill 14"
                  Thermoworks ThermoPop
                  Thermoworks Thermapen Mk4
                  Thermoworks Smoke Thermometer with gateway
                  2 iGrillminis - from before they were Weber.

                Here's one that hits close to home for me. The crickets reminded me.:

                A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them to go to church, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" Annie replied, "Because people are sleeping."

                Comment

                Announcement

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                Meat-Up in Memphis 2021

                Join us in Memphis for our Meat-Up! Space is limited to 400, secure your spot by booking early!
                Click here for details. (https://amazingribs.com/memphis)
                See more
                See less
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