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Meat-Up in Memphis 2021

Join us in Memphis for our Meat-Up! Space is limited to 400, secure your spot by booking early!
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Jokes!

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  • Bogy
    Club Member
    • Mar 2016
    • 582
    • North Central Iowa
    • Blaz'n Grill Works Grid Iron
      Weber Genesis E-310
      Original Grilla
      Smokey Joe® Charcoal Grill 14"
      Thermoworks ThermoPop
      Thermoworks Thermapen Mk4
      Thermoworks Smoke Thermometer with gateway
      2 iGrillminis - from before they were Weber.

    Five surgeons from big cities are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on.

    The first surgeon, from New York, says, 'I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.'

    The second, from Chicago, responds, 'Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded.'

    The third surgeon, from Dallas, says, 'No, I really think librarians are the best, everything inside them is in alphabetical order.'

    The fourth surgeon, from Los Angeles chimes in: 'You know, I like construction workers...Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over.'

    But the fifth surgeon, from Washington , DC silenced them all when he observed: 'You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on.
    There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains, and no spine..


    Plus, the head and the butt are interchangeable.

    Comment


    • Donw
      Donw commented
      Editing a comment
      My wife would have added a like if she were a member!

    • FireMan
      FireMan commented
      Editing a comment
      Well, Donw I’ll add one fer ya since I don’t hafta cuz I’m commentin!

    • BBQ_Steve-O
      BBQ_Steve-O commented
      Editing a comment
      Now that's knee slappin funny!
  • KBaldwin
    Club Member
    • Nov 2017
    • 36
    • North Salt Lake, Utah

    I thought this was awesome, I relate to this all too well. Click image for larger version

Name:	5D080F77-6D00-417C-B826-6FD91681F167.png
Views:	60
Size:	220.8 KB
ID:	547592

    Comment

    • RonB
      Club Member
      • Apr 2016
      • 12587
      • Near Richmond VA
      • Weber Performer Deluxe
        SNS
        Pizza insert
        Rotisserie
        Smokenator 1000
        Cookshack Smokette Elite
        2 Thermapens
        Chefalarm
        Dot
        lots of probes.
        CyberQ

      My girlfriend, Ruth, fell off the back of my bike.



      I rode on, ruthlessly.

      Comment


      • gwschenk
        gwschenk commented
        Editing a comment
        That is like the first joke I ever heard! Or maybe I read it in Mad Magazine.

      • RonB
        RonB commented
        Editing a comment
        I vote for Mad Mag.
    • Grill Master Dave
      Club Member
      • Jun 2018
      • 37
      • West Monroe,Louisiana

      Poor ole Boudreaux up and died one day. Upon arriving at the gates of Heaven, St. Peter greeted him, "Welcome to Heaven, dere Boudreaux!" Boudreaux exclaimed "Mai, tank ya, cher!" St. Peter explained to ole Boudreaux that there was one stipulation before he was allowed through the gates of Heaven....he had to answer one question and get it right. Boudreaux scratched his head and said, "Mai, ok, cher. What dat be?" St. Peter says "What is God's first name?" Boudreaux answers, "Mai, cher, dat be easy, it's Howard." St. Peter (laughing himself silly) "HOWARD? May I ask you, Boudreaux, how'd you come up with that name?" Boudreaux, smiling proudly, says "Mai cher, dat be an easy one.....Our Fadda who art in Heavin, HOWARD be thy name." St. Peter, still chuckling, says "I can't argue with that one, Boudreaux! Come on in!"

      This one is from my niece:

      Why did the turtle cross the road?

      To get to the Shell Station

      Comment


      • Bogy
        Bogy commented
        Editing a comment
        EdF, I might be able to dig one of those up.

      • EdF
        EdF commented
        Editing a comment
        I figured you could, once you slipped Ole into the thread! LOL!

      • Mr. Bones
        Mr. Bones commented
        Editing a comment
        Please, Brother Bogy : Don't leave poor ol Lena out, neither!
    • Grill Master Dave
      Club Member
      • Jun 2018
      • 37
      • West Monroe,Louisiana

      Yer welcome

      Comment

      • Bogy
        Club Member
        • Mar 2016
        • 582
        • North Central Iowa
        • Blaz'n Grill Works Grid Iron
          Weber Genesis E-310
          Original Grilla
          Smokey Joe® Charcoal Grill 14"
          Thermoworks ThermoPop
          Thermoworks Thermapen Mk4
          Thermoworks Smoke Thermometer with gateway
          2 iGrillminis - from before they were Weber.

        Both Ole and Sven wanted some money, so they went to the bank for a loan. Sven went in first. "I vant $10,000!"

        "What do you do for a living?" asked the manager.

        "I'm a pilot!" said Sven.

        "Well, that is a good profession!" said the manager, so he gave him the money.

        Then Ole went in and said, "I vant $10,000 too!"

        "Well, what do you do for a living?" asked the manager.

        "I'm a lumberjack," he replied.

        "Well, I can't give a lumberjack that kind of money," said the manager.

        "Vell, vat's the deal with dat, if I don't cut da wood, Sven can't pile it."

        Comment

        • Bogy
          Club Member
          • Mar 2016
          • 582
          • North Central Iowa
          • Blaz'n Grill Works Grid Iron
            Weber Genesis E-310
            Original Grilla
            Smokey Joe® Charcoal Grill 14"
            Thermoworks ThermoPop
            Thermoworks Thermapen Mk4
            Thermoworks Smoke Thermometer with gateway
            2 iGrillminis - from before they were Weber.

          One day Lena stops Ole and tells him that the outhouse is full and he has to do something about it. Ole comments that Sven is coming over the next weekend, and since he has been going to an engineering school he should have an idea of the best way to handle the situation.

          That weekend Sven comes over and Ole explains his dilemma....

          "Sven, we got to do somethin' about the outhouse, it is full and Lena is getting very upset about it."

          "Well Ole, I have an idea. We will place several sticks of dynamite around the outside of the outhouse with a fuse just long enough to allow us to run behind the house before it goes off. The outhouse will be blown straight up, the crap in the hole will be blown out into the fields to fertilize them, then outhouse will fall right back down to were it was."

          Ole thought this was a fantastic plan so Ole and Sven got to work and set all the dynamite just right. They lit the fuse and ran for the house. Just as they got to the back of the house Lena came running out the back door and made a bee line for the outhouse. Before Ole could stop her she ducked into the outhouse slamming the door behind her and......

          BOOOOM!, the dynamite blew.......the outhouse then shot straight up, the crap was blown out to the fields, and the outhouse dropped right back down where it originally sat, just like Sven had planned.

          Ole runs to the outhouse worried about Lena and reaches it just as she opens the door to come out. "Lena, Lena.....are you alright?"

          Lena is a little shaken up but responds .... "Yes Ole, I am fine.......but I have to tell you, I'm sure glad I didn't let that one go in the house!"

          Comment


          • EdF
            EdF commented
            Editing a comment
            Very difficult, I'm sure - especially the clean part. But we make our bed and then have to lie in it! ;-)

          • Mr. Bones
            Mr. Bones commented
            Editing a comment
            Ah, I see Lena got dere jus fine, before my comment, above!

          • Bogy
            Bogy commented
            Editing a comment
            Oh no, Mr. Bones, I couldn't forget Lena.
        • gcdmd
          Charter Member
          • Sep 2014
          • 1004
          • The Republic of Texas

          Comment


          • EdF
            EdF commented
            Editing a comment
            Looks like the basic food groups to me!

          • Thunder77
            Thunder77 commented
            Editing a comment
            Sounds about right!
        • gcdmd
          Charter Member
          • Sep 2014
          • 1004
          • The Republic of Texas

          Comment

          • gcdmd
            Charter Member
            • Sep 2014
            • 1004
            • The Republic of Texas

            Comment

            • gcdmd
              Charter Member
              • Sep 2014
              • 1004
              • The Republic of Texas

              Comment

              • gcdmd
                Charter Member
                • Sep 2014
                • 1004
                • The Republic of Texas

                Comment


                • gwschenk
                  gwschenk commented
                  Editing a comment
                  OK, that's funny.
              • gcdmd
                Charter Member
                • Sep 2014
                • 1004
                • The Republic of Texas

                Comment

                • gcdmd
                  Charter Member
                  • Sep 2014
                  • 1004
                  • The Republic of Texas

                  Comment

                  • gcdmd
                    Charter Member
                    • Sep 2014
                    • 1004
                    • The Republic of Texas

                    Comment


                    • EdF
                      EdF commented
                      Editing a comment
                      That's what I call competition!

                  Announcement

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                  Meat-Up in Memphis 2021

                  Join us in Memphis for our Meat-Up! Space is limited to 400, secure your spot by booking early!
                  Click here for details. (https://amazingribs.com/memphis)
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                  Meat-Up in Memphis

                  T-Shirts & More T-Shirts & More
                  Order men's and women's T-Shirts, Sweatshirts, Aprons, Mugs, Caps, Tote Bags, Flasks, and more, all imprinted with the Pitmaster Club logo. There's even a spiral bound journal where you can make notes on your cooks.

                  Cool Embroidered Shirt Cool Embroidered Shirt
                  This beautifully embroidered shirt is the same one Meathead wears in public and on TV. It's wash and wear and doesn't need ironing (really!), but it is a soft cottonlike feel. Choice of four colors and both men's and women's.

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                  These are products we have tested, won our top awards, and are highly recommend. Click here to read how we test, about our medals, and what they mean.

                  Use our links when you buy things

                  Many merchants pay us a small referral fee when you click our links and purchase from them. On Amazon it works on everything from grills to diapers, they never tell us what you bought, it has zero impact on the price you pay, but has a major impact on our ability to improve this site! If you like AmazingRibs.com, please save this link and use it every time you go to Amazon

                  https://tinyurl.com/amazingribs

                   


                  If you have a Weber Kettle, you need the Slow 'N' Sear

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                  The Slow 'N' Sear turns your grill into a first class smoker and also creates an extremely hot sear zone you can use to create steakhouse steaks.

                  Click here for our article on this breakthrough tool


                  The Good-One Is A Superb Grill And A Superb Smoker All In One

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                  Click here to read our complete review


                  Griddle And Deep Fryer In One

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                  The flat top does the burgers and the fryer does the fries. Use the griddle for bacon, eggs, and home fries. Or pancakes, fajitas, grilled cheese, you name it. Why stink up the house deep frying and spatter all over? Do your fried chicken and calamari outside. Blackstone's Rangetop Combo With Deep Fryer does it all!

                  Click here to read our detailed review and to order


                  The Pit Barrel Cooker May Be Too Easy

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                  The PBC has a rabid cult following for good reason. It is absolutely positively without a doubt the best bargain on a smoker in the world. Period. This baby will cook circles around the cheap offset sideways barrel smokers because temperature control is so much easier.

                  Click here to read our detailed review and the raves from people who own them


                  The Undisputed Champion!

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                  The Thermoworks Thermapen MK4 is considered by the pros, and our team, to be the single best instant read thermometer. The MK4 includes features that are common on high-end instruments: automatic backlight and rotating display. Don't accept cheap substitutes.

                  Click here to read our comprehensive Platinum Medal review


                  Grilla Pellet Smoker proves good things come in small packages

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                  Click here for our review on this unique smoker


                  Delta by Nuke,
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                  Gaucho Grill

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                  Delta by Nuke burns wood or charcoal and comes with an adjustable height grill grate. This Argentinian grill will get your flame on!

                  Click here to read our complete review


                  Genesis II E-335 
                  A Versatile Gasser That Does It All!

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                  Click here to read our complete review


                  GrillGrates Take Gas Grills To The Infrared Zone

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                  Click here for more about what makes these grates so special


                  Is This Superb Charcoal Grill A Kamado Killer?

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                  The PK-360, with 360 square inches of cooking space, this rust free, cast aluminum charcoal grill is durable and easy to use. Four-way venting means it's easy to set up for two zone cooking with more control than single vent Kamado grills. It is beautifully designed, completely portable, and much easier to set up for 2-zone cooking than any round kamado.

                  Click here to read our detailed review of the PK 360

                  Click here to order directly and get an exclusive AmazingRibs.com deal


                  Our Favorite Backyard Smoker

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                  Click here for our review of this superb smoker


                  Masterbuilt MPS 340/G ThermoTemp XL Propane Smoker

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                  Click here to read our detailed review


                  Digital Thermometers Are Your Most Valuable Tool And Here's A Great Buy!

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                  Track Up To Six Temperatures At Once

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                  FireBoard Drive 2 is an updated version of a well-received product that sets the standard for performance and functionality in the wireless food thermometer/thermostatic controller class.

                  Click here for our review of this unique device


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                  Click here for more about what makes this grill special


                  Finally, A Great Portable Pellet Smoker

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                  Click here to read our detailed review and to order