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    One more - can't help myself ...

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      i think this one's funny..

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        A baby seal walks into a club.



          Steve Vojtek That Canada reminds me of this old gem:


          So there are these two muffins in an oven. One muffin looks at the other and says "Is it hot in here, or is it just me?" The other muffin says "Holy $41t, a talking muffin!"


            1. I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and
            I think, "Well, that's not going to happen."

            2. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospital dying of

            3. The other night I ate at a real family restaurant. Every table had an
            argument going.

            4. Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks
            about seeing UFOs like they use to.

            5. According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a
            woman is their eyes, and woman say the first thing they notice about men is
            they're a bunch of liars.

            6. Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

            7. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to

            8. Have you noticed that a slight tax increase costs you $200 and a
            substantial tax cut saves you 35 cents?

            9. In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is
            weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

            10. Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to
            realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

            11. How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a
            whole box to start a campfire?

            12. You read about all these terrorists---most of them came here legally,
            but they hung around on these expired visas, some for as long as 10-15
            years. Now compare that to Blockbuster: you're two days late with a video
            and those people are all over you. Let's put Blockbuster in charge of


            • Huskee
              Huskee commented
              Editing a comment
              I'm all about #1. It's often not so much the recipe itself, but the shopping trip to find all the crap I'll need to do it...

            My daughter got tired of all the different remotes I have laying around, so for Father's Day she got me one of those universal remotes. I looked at it and thought to myself, this changes everything.


              Don't you just love those funny t-shirts?:

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              and this one:

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                😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🠘‚😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🠘‚😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🠘‚😂😂whew


                  I've cleaned this one up to a hopefully acceptable level:

                  Q: What's the difference between a ___________ and a bowling ball?
                  A: You could eat a bowling ball if you had to.


                  • Mr. Bones
                    Mr. Bones commented
                    Editing a comment
                    I member dat one lol!

                  A man appeared before St. Peter at the pearly gates. "Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked.

                  Well, I can think of one thing," the man offered. " On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of high-testosterone bikers, who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. "So, I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker and smacked him on the head, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground." I yelled, "Now, back off!! Or you'll answer to me!"
                  St. Peter was impressed: "When did this happen?"
                  "Just a couple of minutes ago"


                    Abu al-Zarqawi died, George Washington met him at the Pearly Gates.
                    He slapped him across the face and yelled, "How dare you try to destroy the nation I helped conceive!"

                    Patrick Henry approached, punched him in the nose and shouted, "You wanted to end our liberties but you failed!"

                    James Madison followed, kicked him in the groin and said, "This is why I allowed our government to provide for the common defense!"

                    Thomas Jefferson was next, beat al-Zarqawi with a long cane and snarled "It was Evil men like you who inspired me to write the Declaration of Independence."

                    The beatings and thrashings continued as George Mason, James Monroe and 66 other early Americans unleashed their anger on the terrorist Leader.

                    As al-Zarqawi lay bleeding and in pain, an Angel appeared.
                    Al-Zarqawi wept and said, "This is not what you promised me."

                    The Angel replied, "I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you in Heaven. What did you think I said?"


                      Dammit Jon Solberg now I can't find my truck keys 😡


                        If he was any smarter, he'd be a regular half-wit.

                        He's smarter than he looks, but then, he'd just about have to be.


                        • TooOld
                          TooOld commented
                          Editing a comment
                          The late Molly Ivins on one of the Texas legislature members "If his IQ slips any lower we'll have to water him twice a day"

                        Aliens are gambling on Ceres!



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