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2021 Meat-Up In Memphis Canceled

We've unfortunately had to cancel the 2021 Meat-Up in Memphis. We are rescheduling for tentatively March 18-21, 2022. Click here for more info: https://pitmaster.amazingribs.com/forum/announcements/misc/1014106-meat-up-in-memphis-2021-canceled
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Jokes!

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  • Panhead John
    commented on 's reply
    Wish I could correct people’s miscues as politely as you do Mr. Bones 🥸

  • Mr. Bones
    commented on 's reply
    Lendin ya an "f", Sister...

    'Gold' dinna make much sense, leastwise, to me...

    Brain hurts, now, (thanks), from havin ta think, when it's th Weekend lol

  • Foehn Watts
    replied
    Things that make you go hmmm:

    It's interesting that if you rearrange the letters in the word "mother-in-law" you get the words "woman Hitler".

    Leave a comment:


  • Foehn Watts
    replied
    A man and a woman, who have never met before, find themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train.

    Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, the two are tired and fall asleep quickly - he in the upper bunk and she in the lower.

    At 1:00 AM, he leans over and gently wakes the woman saying, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold."

    "I have a better idea," she replies. "Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married."

    "Wow! That's a great idea!!" he exclaims.

    "Good," she replies. "Get your own damn blanket!"

    After a moment of silence, he farted.

    Leave a comment:


  • Foehn Watts
    replied
    Two guys are playing golf. The women in front of them are really taking their time and are slowing the men up.

    So one man says to his friend, "I'm gonna go ask those ladies if we can play through."

    He starts walking, but about halfway there, he turns around. When he gets back, his friend asks what happened.

    He replies, "One of those women is my friend, and the other is my mistress. Why don't you go talk to them?"

    So the second man starts to walk over. He gets halfway there and turns around.

    When he gets back, his friend asks, "Now what happened?"

    To this he replies, "Small world . . . "
    Last edited by Foehn Watts; April 5, 2021, 07:55 PM.

    Leave a comment:


  • ComfortablyNumb
    commented on 's reply
    A man and a dog are sitting at a bench in a park playing chess. A crowd gathers to watch. Finally someone says, "That's a smart dog you have there." The man looks up and says, "He's not that smart, he's lost four out of five games."

  • THE Humble Texan
    commented on 's reply
    That must be a girl with a short haircut.

  • Mr. Bones
    commented on 's reply
    I reserves th right to refuse to comment, either way, lol

  • RonB
    commented on 's reply
    Men marry women and don't want them to change, but they always do.

    Women marry men thinkin' they can change them into something better, but they never change...

  • Foehn Watts
    replied

    At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. "Isn't it true," he bellowed, "that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?"

    The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn't heard the question.

    "Isn't it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?" the lawyer repeated.

    The witness still did not respond.

    Finally, the judge leaned over and said, "Sir, please answer the question."

    "Oh," the startled witness said, "I thought he was talking to you."

    Leave a comment:


  • Foehn Watts
    replied
    A butcher is leaning on the counter toward the close of day when a dog with a basket in its jaws comes pushing through the door.

    "An' wot's this then?" he asked. The dog knocks the basket sharply into the butcher's shins.

    "You dumb dog." As he reaches down to smack the dog, he notices a note and a ten dollar bill in the basket.

    The scribble on the note asks for three pounds of his best mince [ground beef]. The butcher figures this is too easy. He goes to the window and reaches for the dried up stuff that's been sitting out all day.

    The dog growls at him. The butcher turns around and, glaring at the pup, gets the best mince from the fridge. Weighing out about 2 1/2 pounds, he drops in on the scale with his thumb.

    "Hmmmmm, a bit shy. Who'll know?"

    Again, the dog growls menacingly. "Alright, alright," as he throws on a generous half pound. He wraps it out, drops it in the basket, and drops in change from a five. The dog threatens to chew him off at the ankles. Another five goes in the basket.

    The butcher is quite impressed and decides to follow the piddy pup home. The dog quickly enters a high-rise buildings, pushes the lift button, enters the lift, and then pushes the button for the 12th floor. The dog walks down the corridor and smartly bangs the basket on the door. The door opens, and the dog's owner screams at the dog.

    "Hey, what are you doing? That's a really smart dog you've got there," comments the butcher.

    "He's a stupid dog - that's the third time this week he's forgotten his key!

    Leave a comment:


  • Foehn Watts
    replied
    Single women claim that all the good men are married, while all married women complain about their lousy husbands.

    This confirms that there is no such thing as a good man.

    This confirms too, that women are always confused and don't know what they want.

    Leave a comment:


  • Foehn Watts
    replied
    A father asked his son, Little Johnny, if he knew about the birds and the bees.

    "I don't want to know!" Little Johnny said, exploding and bursting into tears. Confused, his father asked Little Johnny what was wrong.

    "Oh Pop," Johnny sobbed, "for me there was no Santa Claus at age six, no Easter Bunny at seven, and no Tooth Fairy at eight. And if you're telling me now that grown ups don't really have sex, I've got nothing left to believe in!"

    Leave a comment:


  • Foehn Watts
    commented on 's reply
    ComfortablyNumb -- I did it on purpose to make sure you were reading carefully. I changed it to help yer get rid of the headache! ;-)

  • Panhead John
    commented on 's reply
    RonB Ya beat me to it. 🤓 But thanks for turning me on to Grammar Monster! Boy, will I be putting that to good use here.

Announcement

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2021 Meat-Up In Memphis Canceled

We've unfortunately had to cancel the 2021 Meat-Up in Memphis. We are rescheduling for tentatively March 18-21, 2022. Click here for more info: https://pitmaster.amazingribs.com/forum/announcements/misc/1014106-meat-up-in-memphis-2021-canceled
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Spotlight

These are not ads or paid placements. These Are Some Of Our Favorite Tools And Toys.

These are products we have tested, won our top awards, and are highly recommend. Click here to read how we test, about our medals, and what they mean.

Use Our Links To Help Keep Us Alive

A big part of this site is our unbiased equipment and product reviews. We love playing with toys and we have no problem calling them the way we see them. Some companies pay a finder's fee if a reader clicks a link on AmazingRibs.com and buys a product. It has zero impact on our reviews, zero impact on the price you pay, and the sites never tell us what you bought, but it has a major impact on our ability to keep this site alive! So before you buy, please click our links. Here's a link that takes you to a page on Amazon that has some of our favorite tools and toys:

If you have a Weber Kettle, you need the Slow 'N' Sear

slow n sear
The Slow 'N' Sear turns your grill into a first class smoker and also creates an extremely hot sear zone you can use to create steakhouse steaks.

Click here for our article on this breakthrough tool


The Good-One Is A Superb Grill And A Superb Smoker All In One

the good one grill
The Good-One Open Range is dramatically different from a traditional offset smoker. By placing the heat source behind and under the smokebox instead of off to the side, Open Range produces even temperature from left to right, something almost impossible to achieve with a standard barrel shaped offset.

Click here to read our complete review


Griddle And Deep Fryer In One

Pit Barrel Cooker Smoker
The flat top does the burgers and the fryer does the fries. Use the griddle for bacon, eggs, and home fries. Or pancakes, fajitas, grilled cheese, you name it. Why stink up the house deep frying and spatter all over? Do your fried chicken and calamari outside. Blackstone's Rangetop Combo With Deep Fryer does it all!

Click here to read our detailed review and to order


The Pit Barrel Cooker May Be Too Easy

Pit Barrel Cooker Smoker
The PBC has a rabid cult following for good reason. It is absolutely positively without a doubt the best bargain on a smoker in the world. Period. This baby will cook circles around the cheap offset sideways barrel smokers because temperature control is so much easier.

Click here to read our detailed review and the raves from people who own them


The Undisputed Champion!

thermapen
The Thermoworks Thermapen MK4 is considered by the pros, and our team, to be the single best instant read thermometer. The MK4 includes features that are common on high-end instruments: automatic backlight and rotating display. Don't accept cheap substitutes.

Click here to read our comprehensive Platinum Medal review


Grilla Pellet Smoker proves good things come in small packages

Grilla pellet smoker
We always liked Grilla. The small 31.5" x 29.5" footprint makes it ideal for use where BBQ space is limited, as on a condo patio.

Click here for our review on this unique smoker


Delta by Nuke,
Stylish and Affordable
Gaucho Grill

Weber Genesis Grill
Delta by Nuke burns wood or charcoal and comes with an adjustable height grill grate. This Argentinian grill will get your flame on!

Click here to read our complete review


Genesis II E-335
A Versatile Gasser That Does It All!

Weber Genesis Grill
Webers? Genesis line has long been one of the most popular choices for gas grillers. The new Genesis II E-335 offers solid performance, a sear burner for sizzling heat and an excellent warranty.

Click here to read our complete review


GrillGrates Take Gas Grills To The Infrared Zone

grill grates
GrillGrates(TM) amplify heat, prevent flareups, make flipping foods easier, kill hotspots, flip over to make a fine griddle, and can be easily rmoved from one grill to another. You can even throw wood chips, pellets, or sawdust between the rails and deliver a quick burst of smoke.

Click here for more about what makes these grates so special


Is This Superb Charcoal Grill A Kamado Killer?

PK 360 grill
The PK-360, with 360 square inches of cooking space, this rust free, cast aluminum charcoal grill is durable and easy to use. Four-way venting means it's easy to set up for two zone cooking with more control than single vent Kamado grills. It is beautifully designed, completely portable, and much easier to set up for 2-zone cooking than any round kamado.

Click here to read our detailed review of the PK 360

Click here to order directly and get an exclusive AmazingRibs.com deal


Our Favorite Backyard Smoker

kareubequ bbq smoker

The amazing Karubecue is the most innovative smoker in the world. The quality of meat from this machine is astonishing. At its crux is a patented firebox that burns logs above the cooking chamber and sucks heat and extremely clean blue smoke into the thermostat controlled oven. It is our favorite smoker, period.

Click here for our review of this superb smoker


Masterbuilt MPS 340/G ThermoTemp XL Propane Smoker

masterbuilt gas smoker
This is the first propane smoker with a thermostat, making this baby foolproof. Set ThermoTemp's dial from 175? to 350?F and the thermostat inside will adjust the burner just like an indoor kitchen oven. All you need to do is add wood to the tray above the burner to start smokin'.

Click here to read our detailed review


Digital Thermometers Are Your Most Valuable Tool And Here's A Great Buy!

maverick PT55 thermometer
A good digital thermometer keeps you from serving dry overcooked food or dangerously undercooked food. They are much faster and much more accurate than dial thermometers. YOU NEED ONE!

Click here to read our complete review


Track Up To Six Temperatures At Once

Grilla pellet smoker
FireBoard Drive 2 is an updated version of a well-received product that sets the standard for performance and functionality in the wireless food thermometer/thermostatic controller class.

Click here for our review of this unique device


The Cool Kettle With The Hinged Hood We Always Wanted

NK-22-Ck Grill
Napoleon's NK22CK-C Charcoal Kettle Grill puts a few spins on the familiar kettle design. In fact, the hinged lid with a handle on the front, spins in a rotary motion 180 degrees. It's hard to beat a Weber kettle, but Napoleon holds its own and adds some unique features to make the NK22CK-C a viable alternative.

Click here for more about what makes this grill special


Finally, A Great Portable Pellet Smoker

Green Mountain Davey Crockett Grill
Green Mountain's portable Davy Crockett Pellet Smoker is one mean tailgating and picnic machine. But it's also gaining popularity with people who want to add a small, set it and forget it pellet smoker to their backyard arsenal. And with their WiFi capabilities you can control and monitor Davy Crocket from your smart phone or laptop.

Click here to read our detailed review and to order