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  • gwschenk
    Club Member
    • Aug 2015
    • 181
    • Sierra Madre, Calif.
    • Weber Smokey Mountain 18.5", Weber kettle 22", Thermoworks Thermopop and DOT

    Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Enzo, has cheated him out of 10 million bucks.

    His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that Enzo would hear nothing that he might have to testify about in court.

    When the Godfather goes to confront Enzo about his missing $10 million, he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language.

    The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the 10 million bucks is that he embezzled from me."

    The lawyer, using sign language, asks Enzo where the money is. Enzo signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about."

    The lawyer tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know what you are talking about."

    The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Enzo's temple and says, "Ask him again!"

    The lawyer signs to Enzo, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him."

    Enzo signs back, "OK. You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Bruno's backyard in Woodbridge !"

    The Godfather asks the lawyer, "What did he say?"

    The lawyer replies, " He says you don't have the balls to pull the trigger."

    Comment

    • Bogy
      Club Member
      • Mar 2016
      • 592
      • North Central Iowa
      • Blaz'n Grill Works Grid Iron
        Weber Genesis E-310
        Original Grilla
        Smokey Joe® Charcoal Grill 14"
        Thermoworks ThermoPop
        Thermoworks Thermapen Mk4
        Thermoworks Smoke Thermometer with gateway
        2 iGrillminis - from before they were Weber.

      This is fair season, so...

      Ole and Lena went to a fair. Ole was fascinated by the airplanes and asked a pilot how much a ride would cost.

      "$20 each for 3 minutes," replied the pilot.

      "That's too much," said Ole.

      The pilot thought for a second and then said, "I'll make you a deal. If you and your wife ride for 3 minutes without uttering a sound, the ride will be free. But if you make a sound, you'll have to pay the $20 each."

      Ole and Lena agreed and went for a wild ride.

      After they landed, the pilot said to Ole, "I want to congratulate you for not making a sound. You are a brave man."

      "Maybe so," said Ole, "but I gotta tell ya, I almost screamed when my wife fell out."

      Comment

      • Bogy
        Club Member
        • Mar 2016
        • 592
        • North Central Iowa
        • Blaz'n Grill Works Grid Iron
          Weber Genesis E-310
          Original Grilla
          Smokey Joe® Charcoal Grill 14"
          Thermoworks ThermoPop
          Thermoworks Thermapen Mk4
          Thermoworks Smoke Thermometer with gateway
          2 iGrillminis - from before they were Weber.

        One particular Sunday Ole was lying back in the hammock and, having just returned from church with Lena, he was feeling a little religious.

        "God," said Ole, "Ven you made Lena, vy did you make her so nice and round and so pleasant ta hold?"

        Suddenly a voice from above said, "So you would love her, Ole."

        "Vell then vy, oh vy," asked Ole, "vy Lord did you make her so stupid?"

        "So she would love YOU," said the voice.

        Comment

        • Bogy
          Club Member
          • Mar 2016
          • 592
          • North Central Iowa
          • Blaz'n Grill Works Grid Iron
            Weber Genesis E-310
            Original Grilla
            Smokey Joe® Charcoal Grill 14"
            Thermoworks ThermoPop
            Thermoworks Thermapen Mk4
            Thermoworks Smoke Thermometer with gateway
            2 iGrillminis - from before they were Weber.

          Give a man a fish, he'll feed himself for a day. Teach a man to fish and he'll sit around in a boat drinking beer for life.

          Comment


          • Polarbear777
            Polarbear777 commented
            Editing a comment
            This was on this thread earlier but
            “Give a man a fire and keep him warm for a night, set him on fire and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life”.
        • Bogy
          Club Member
          • Mar 2016
          • 592
          • North Central Iowa
          • Blaz'n Grill Works Grid Iron
            Weber Genesis E-310
            Original Grilla
            Smokey Joe® Charcoal Grill 14"
            Thermoworks ThermoPop
            Thermoworks Thermapen Mk4
            Thermoworks Smoke Thermometer with gateway
            2 iGrillminis - from before they were Weber.

          An older lady decided to give herself a big treat for her 70th birthday by staying overnight in an expensive hotel. When she checked out next Morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for $250.00. She exploded and demanded to know why the charge was so high.

          “It’s a Nice hotel but the rooms certainly aren’t worth $250.00 for just an overnight Stay! I didn’t even have breakfast.” The clerk told her that $250.00 is The ‘standard rate’, so she insisted on speaking to the Manager.

          The Manager appeared and, forewarned by the desk clerk, announced: “This Hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center which are available for use.” “But I didn’t use them,” she said. ”Well, they are here, and you could have,” explained the manager.

          He went on to explain that she could also have seen one of the in-hotel Shows for which the hotel is famous. “We have the best entertainers from the World over performing here,” the Manager said. “But I didn’t go to any of those shows,” she said.

          “Well, we have them, and you could have,” the Manager replied. No matter What amenity the Manager mentioned, she replied, “But I didn’t use it!” and the Manager countered with his standard response. After several minutes discussion with the Manager unmoved, she decided to pay, wrote a check and gave it to him. The Manager was surprised when he looked at the check.

          “But madam, this check is for only $50.00.” “That’s correct. I charged You $200.00 for sleeping with me,” she replied. “But I didn’t!” exclaims the very surprised Manager.

          “Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have.”

          Comment

          • Spinaker
            Moderator
            • Nov 2014
            • 10589
            • Land of Tonka
            • John "J R"
              Instagram: JRBowlsby
              Smokin' Hound Que
              Minnesota/ United States of America

              ********************************************
              Assistants
              Dexter (Beagle mix)
              Kinnick (American Foxhound)
              ************************

              Grills/Smokers/Fryers
              Big Green Egg (Large) X2
              Blackstone 36" Outdoor Griddle 4-Burner

              Broil King Keg
              Karubeque C-60
              Kamado Joe Jr. (Black)
              Lodge L410 Hibachi
              Pit Barrel Cooker
              Pit Barrel Cooker 2.0
              R&V Works FF2-R-ST 4-Gallon Fryer

              Weber Spirit Gasser
              ******************.
              Thermometers
              FireBoard (Base Package)
              Thermoworks ThermaPen (Red)
              Thermoworks MK4 (Orange)
              **************

              Accessories
              BBQ Dragon
              Big Green Egg Plate Setter
              Benzomatic TS4000 Torch X 2
              Benzomatic TS800 High Temp Torch X 2

              Bayou Classic 44 qt Stainless Stock Pot
              Bayou Classic 35K BTU Burner

              Digi Q DX2 (Medium Pit Viper Fan)
              Dragon VT 2-23 C Torch
              Eggspander Kit X2
              Field Skillet No. 8,10,12

              Finex Cat Iron Line
              FireBoard Drive
              Lots and Lots of Griswold Cast Iron
              Grill Grates
              Joule Water Circulator
              KBQ Fire Grate

              Kick Ash Basket (KAB) X4
              Lots of Lodge Cast Iron
              Husky 6 Drawer BBQ Equipment Cabinet
              Large Vortex
              Marlin 1894 .44 Magnum
              Marquette Castings No. 13 (First Run)
              Smithey No. 12
              Smokeware Chimney Cap X 3
              Stargazer No.10, 12
              Tool Wizard BBQ Tongs
              Univex Duro 10" Meat Slicer
              ********************************
              Fuel
              FOGO Priemium Lump Charcoal
              Kingsford Blue and White
              Rockwood Lump Charcoal
              Apple, Cherry & Oak Log splits for the C-60
              **************************

              Cutlery
              Buck 119 Special
              Dexter 12" Brisket Sword
              Global
              Shun
              Wusthof
              *******
              Next Major Purchase
              Lone Star Grillz 24 X 48 Offset

            “I’m sorry” and “I apologise” mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.

            Comment

            • Bogy
              Club Member
              • Mar 2016
              • 592
              • North Central Iowa
              • Blaz'n Grill Works Grid Iron
                Weber Genesis E-310
                Original Grilla
                Smokey Joe® Charcoal Grill 14"
                Thermoworks ThermoPop
                Thermoworks Thermapen Mk4
                Thermoworks Smoke Thermometer with gateway
                2 iGrillminis - from before they were Weber.

              Three guys die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven: Don't step on the ducks!" So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first guy accidentally steps on one. Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest woman he has ever seen. St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to the ugly woman!" The next day, the second guy steps accidentally on a duck, and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing, and with him is another extemely ugly woman. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first guy. The third guy has observed all this and not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly woman, is very, VERY careful where he steps. He manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to him with the most gorgeous woman he has ever laid eyes on: a very tall, tan, curvaceous, sexy blonde. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word. The guy remarks, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?" She says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!"

              Comment

              • Bogy
                Club Member
                • Mar 2016
                • 592
                • North Central Iowa
                • Blaz'n Grill Works Grid Iron
                  Weber Genesis E-310
                  Original Grilla
                  Smokey Joe® Charcoal Grill 14"
                  Thermoworks ThermoPop
                  Thermoworks Thermapen Mk4
                  Thermoworks Smoke Thermometer with gateway
                  2 iGrillminis - from before they were Weber.

                One from a day or two ago reminded me of this one...

                The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrels. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.

                At the Baptist church the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a water slide on the baptistery and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels liked the slide and, unfortunately, theyknew instinctively how to swim so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.

                The Methodist church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creatures. So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist Church. Two weeks later the squirrels were backwhen the Baptists took down the water slide.

                But the Catholic Church came up with a very creative strategy. They baptized all the squirrels and consecrated them as members of the church. Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter.

                Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue; they took the first squirrel and circumcised him. They haven't seen a squirrel since.

                Comment

                • Bogy
                  Club Member
                  • Mar 2016
                  • 592
                  • North Central Iowa
                  • Blaz'n Grill Works Grid Iron
                    Weber Genesis E-310
                    Original Grilla
                    Smokey Joe® Charcoal Grill 14"
                    Thermoworks ThermoPop
                    Thermoworks Thermapen Mk4
                    Thermoworks Smoke Thermometer with gateway
                    2 iGrillminis - from before they were Weber.

                  Two men were out hunting in the woods. Suddenly one man clutches his chest, gasps for breath, and drops to the ground. His friend immediately gets out his cell phone and dials 911. He tells the emergency operator, “My friend just died. What should I do?”

                  The operator says, “Take it easy sir. First, make sure that he’s dead.”

                  There are a few seconds of silence followed by a gun shot. The man gets back on the phone and says, “Okay, what’s next?”

                  Comment

                  • Troutman
                    Club Member
                    • Aug 2017
                    • 7198

                    • OUTDOOR COOKERS

                      BBQ ACCESSORIES

                      WOOD & PELLET PREFERENCES

                      SOUS VIDE

                      INDOOR COOKWARE


                    Comment


                    • HawkerXP
                      HawkerXP commented
                      Editing a comment
                      We stood in line for a off Broadway show long time ago. RD was just behind us.
                      Nice man. But in reality, he didn't get respect. People kept bugging him. No time off when you're "famous" even back then.

                    • richinlbrg
                      richinlbrg commented
                      Editing a comment
                      I loved the tonight show when Carson was actually hosting. This is is one of my fave clips. Bob Hope, Dean Mating and George Gobel:
                      https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=efHVcgUajtA
                      I also have the Johhn's Favorite Moments set.

                    • Spinaker
                      Spinaker commented
                      Editing a comment
                      Absolute Legend.
                  • RonB
                    Club Member
                    • Apr 2016
                    • 12683
                    • Near Richmond VA
                    • Weber Performer Deluxe
                      SNS
                      Pizza insert
                      Rotisserie
                      Smokenator 1000
                      Cookshack Smokette Elite
                      2 Thermapens
                      Chefalarm
                      Dot
                      lots of probes.
                      CyberQ

                    A TED talk:

                    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_QdPW8JrYzQ

                    Comment

                    • JCBBQ
                      Club Member
                      • Jan 2016
                      • 1062
                      • Jersey City, NJ
                      • Primo Oval XL Ceramic Cooker
                        Pit Barrel Cooker
                        2x Mavrick 732
                        Therma Pen Orange
                        Favorite Bourbon Blanton's
                        SF Giants

                        MCS wish list - Lone Star Grillz off set

                      Click image for larger version

Name:	DB1C8A6C-67B2-4DCF-B56E-CD83FF61DA65.jpeg
Views:	72
Size:	1.32 MB
ID:	540988

                      Comment


                      • JCBBQ
                        JCBBQ commented
                        Editing a comment
                        🤣😂🤣😂

                      • snowswamp
                        snowswamp commented
                        Editing a comment
                        You beat me to it JCBBQ. 😀

                      • CaptainMike
                        CaptainMike commented
                        Editing a comment
                        Mmmmm...baaaacooonnn......
                    • RonB
                      Club Member
                      • Apr 2016
                      • 12683
                      • Near Richmond VA
                      • Weber Performer Deluxe
                        SNS
                        Pizza insert
                        Rotisserie
                        Smokenator 1000
                        Cookshack Smokette Elite
                        2 Thermapens
                        Chefalarm
                        Dot
                        lots of probes.
                        CyberQ

                      Subject: A loving and caring FL husband

                      A Story of a LOVING AND CARING HUSBAND..

                      Thinking back a few years, living in Fla. I remember Hurricane Frances.

                      I was ready for it but my wife was not.
                      When the wind reached a screaming pitch with the trees snapping and thrashing, the horizontal streaming rain, flying roofing tiles and destroyed fences as well as the unnerving sound-levels, mywife was rooted to the spot.

                      She stared and stared through the glass of the window. Immovable, with her nose pressed to the windowpane, the stark fear in her eyes will stay with me forever.
                      Fortunately, as the eye of the storm arrived and the winds temporarily lessened, I was able to open the door and let her in.

                      To this day, she has never thanked me!

                      Comment


                      • Mr. Bones
                        Mr. Bones commented
                        Editing a comment
                        ROFLMAO !!!!!
                    • Bogy
                      Club Member
                      • Mar 2016
                      • 592
                      • North Central Iowa
                      • Blaz'n Grill Works Grid Iron
                        Weber Genesis E-310
                        Original Grilla
                        Smokey Joe® Charcoal Grill 14"
                        Thermoworks ThermoPop
                        Thermoworks Thermapen Mk4
                        Thermoworks Smoke Thermometer with gateway
                        2 iGrillminis - from before they were Weber.

                      At breakfast, a man asked his wife:
                      "What would you do if I won the lottery?" She replied, "I'd take half, and then leave you."
                      "Great," he said, "I won $12 yesterday. Here's $6. Stay in touch."

                      Comment


                      • Mr. Bones
                        Mr. Bones commented
                        Editing a comment
                        Ohh, now...
                        Dat's Good!

                      • Spinaker
                        Spinaker commented
                        Editing a comment
                        Lol

                      • Henrik
                        Henrik commented
                        Editing a comment
                        Ha ha ha! Love it!
                    • Spinaker
                      Moderator
                      • Nov 2014
                      • 10589
                      • Land of Tonka
                      • John "J R"
                        Instagram: JRBowlsby
                        Smokin' Hound Que
                        Minnesota/ United States of America

                        ********************************************
                        Assistants
                        Dexter (Beagle mix)
                        Kinnick (American Foxhound)
                        ************************

                        Grills/Smokers/Fryers
                        Big Green Egg (Large) X2
                        Blackstone 36" Outdoor Griddle 4-Burner

                        Broil King Keg
                        Karubeque C-60
                        Kamado Joe Jr. (Black)
                        Lodge L410 Hibachi
                        Pit Barrel Cooker
                        Pit Barrel Cooker 2.0
                        R&V Works FF2-R-ST 4-Gallon Fryer

                        Weber Spirit Gasser
                        ******************.
                        Thermometers
                        FireBoard (Base Package)
                        Thermoworks ThermaPen (Red)
                        Thermoworks MK4 (Orange)
                        **************

                        Accessories
                        BBQ Dragon
                        Big Green Egg Plate Setter
                        Benzomatic TS4000 Torch X 2
                        Benzomatic TS800 High Temp Torch X 2

                        Bayou Classic 44 qt Stainless Stock Pot
                        Bayou Classic 35K BTU Burner

                        Digi Q DX2 (Medium Pit Viper Fan)
                        Dragon VT 2-23 C Torch
                        Eggspander Kit X2
                        Field Skillet No. 8,10,12

                        Finex Cat Iron Line
                        FireBoard Drive
                        Lots and Lots of Griswold Cast Iron
                        Grill Grates
                        Joule Water Circulator
                        KBQ Fire Grate

                        Kick Ash Basket (KAB) X4
                        Lots of Lodge Cast Iron
                        Husky 6 Drawer BBQ Equipment Cabinet
                        Large Vortex
                        Marlin 1894 .44 Magnum
                        Marquette Castings No. 13 (First Run)
                        Smithey No. 12
                        Smokeware Chimney Cap X 3
                        Stargazer No.10, 12
                        Tool Wizard BBQ Tongs
                        Univex Duro 10" Meat Slicer
                        ********************************
                        Fuel
                        FOGO Priemium Lump Charcoal
                        Kingsford Blue and White
                        Rockwood Lump Charcoal
                        Apple, Cherry & Oak Log splits for the C-60
                        **************************

                        Cutlery
                        Buck 119 Special
                        Dexter 12" Brisket Sword
                        Global
                        Shun
                        Wusthof
                        *******
                        Next Major Purchase
                        Lone Star Grillz 24 X 48 Offset

                      I am fresh out of Chemistry jokes.........I'll have too ZINC of another.

                      Comment

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                    Meat-Up in Memphis 2021

                    Join us in Memphis for our Meat-Up! Space is limited to 400, secure your spot by booking early!
                    Click here for details. (https://amazingribs.com/memphis)
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