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Meat-Up in Memphis 2020

Join us in Memphis for our Meat-Up! Space is limited to 400, secure your spot by booking early! Click here for details. (https://amazingribs.com/memphis2020)
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  • Sgt Tyree
    Former Member
    • Oct 2017
    • 122
    • Omaha, Nebraska

    Why were the three wise men so thirsty on their journey to Bethlehem?

    No well, No well, No well...

    Comment


    • holehogg
      holehogg commented
      Editing a comment
      No way, No way, No way...
  • Willy
    Charter Member
    • Apr 2015
    • 1766
    • High Desert of the Great Southwest

    Comment

    • ComfortablyNumb
      Club Member
      • May 2017
      • 2879
      • Northeast Washington
      • KBQ C-60
        PK360
        Thermoworks Smoke
        Thermoworks Thermopop
        Thermoworks Dot

      Weekend forecast; Alcohol with lowered standards, possible poor decisions.

      Comment

      • ComfortablyNumb
        Club Member
        • May 2017
        • 2879
        • Northeast Washington
        • KBQ C-60
          PK360
          Thermoworks Smoke
          Thermoworks Thermopop
          Thermoworks Dot

        JCGrill Pirate Scott Spinaker and any other fisherman;

        Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
        Teach and man to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

        Comment


        • Pirate Scott
          Pirate Scott commented
          Editing a comment
          ComfortablyNumb Yes Sir! You get a terrible Thirst chasing Fish in the River.

        • timhstarr
          timhstarr commented
          Editing a comment
          Build a man a fire and you'll warm him for a day; set a man on fire and you'll warm him for the rest of his life!

        • Spinaker
          Spinaker commented
          Editing a comment
          One the all time greats.
      • timhstarr
        Club Member
        • Dec 2017
        • 19
        • Harrisburg, PA

        I keep a spreadsheet to log my cooks, and a spreadsheet to keep track of my favorite jokes. Here are some from the latter:

        - What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One's really heavy and the other is a little lighter.
        - Why did the old man fall into the well? Because he couldn't see that well.
        -
        My friend asked me to help him round up his 37 sheep. I said, "Forty."
        -
        My grandfather had the heart of a lion... and a lifetime ban from the Cincinnatti zoo.
        -
        I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

        Comment


        • Spinaker
          Spinaker commented
          Editing a comment
          Oh these are good! tbob4

        • tbob4
          tbob4 commented
          Editing a comment
          Spinaker - these are terrible. Just the way I love them!

        • Spinaker
          Spinaker commented
          Editing a comment
          Ted!! Great to hear from you! Happy New year! tbob4
      • JCGrill
        Club Member
        • Mar 2017
        • 1400
        • Minneapolis / St Paul burbs
        • Charcoal - 22" Weber Kettle
          Gas - Saber
          Smoker - Green Mountain Daniel Boone
          Portable - Charbroil Tabletop Propane Grill

        Probably this joke is already posted in here somewhere, but for richinlbrg

        Farmer Jones got out of his car and while heading for his friend's door, noticed a pig with a wooden leg. His curiosity roused, he asked, "Fred, how'd that pig get him a wooden leg?"

        "Well, Michael, that's a mighty special pig! A while back a wild boar attacked me while I was walking in the woods. That pig there came a runnin', went after that boar and chased him away. Saved my life!"

        "And the boar tore up his leg?"

        "No he was fine after that. But a bit later we had that fire. Started in the shed up against the barn. Well, that ole pig started squealin' like he was stuck, woke us up, and 'fore we got out here, the darn thing had herded the other animals out of the barn and saved 'em all!"

        "So that's when he hurt his leg, huh, Fred?"

        "No, Michael. He was a might winded, though. When my tractor hit a rock and rolled down the hill into the pond I was knocked clean out. When I came to, that pig had dove into the pond and dragged me out 'fore I drownded. Sure did save my life."

        "And that was when he hurt his leg?"

        "Oh no, he was fine. Cleaned him up, too."

        "OK, Fred. So just tell me. How did he get the wooden leg?"

        "Well", the farmer tells him, "A pig like that, you don't want to eat all at once!"

        Comment

        • timhstarr
          Club Member
          • Dec 2017
          • 19
          • Harrisburg, PA

          Clamp your hams...
          Attached Files

          Comment


          • Mr. Bones
            Mr. Bones commented
            Editing a comment
            Lol! Reckon' that's one way to hang it in yer cooker!
            Thanks Tim!
            Last edited by Mr. Bones; January 6th, 2018, 11:24 AM.

          • JCGrill
            JCGrill commented
            Editing a comment
            😂👏
        • ComfortablyNumb
          Club Member
          • May 2017
          • 2879
          • Northeast Washington
          • KBQ C-60
            PK360
            Thermoworks Smoke
            Thermoworks Thermopop
            Thermoworks Dot

          Click image for larger version

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          Comment

          • snowswamp
            Club Member
            • Dec 2017
            • 206
            • Lakewood, CO
            • Weber Genesis Silver B (converted to nat. gas)
              Camp Chef Smoke Vault 24 (converted to nat. gas)
              Thermoworks Smoke
              Thermoworks Classic Thermapen
              Thermoworks IR-IND Infrared Thermometer
              Maverivk XR-50 Thermometer

            Why do sharks live in salt water?

            Because pepper water makes them sneeze.

            Comment

            • RonB
              Club Member
              • Apr 2016
              • 11206
              • Near Richmond VA
              • Weber Performer Deluxe
                SNS
                Pizza insert
                Rotisserie
                Smokenator 1000
                Cookshack Smokette Elite
                2 Thermapens
                Chefalarm
                Dot
                lots of probes.
                CyberQ

              Santa and Mrs. Claus have decided to break up.

              However, finding a divorce lawyer at the North Pole is next to impossible, so instead they got a semicolon.

              They’re great at separating independent Clauses.

              Spinaker

              Comment


              • Huskee
                Huskee commented
                Editing a comment
                oh boy....

              • Thunder77
                Thunder77 commented
                Editing a comment
                Oh wow! That is so horrible!! Two Thumbs up!
            • DWCowles
              Founding Member
              • Jul 2014
              • 9760
              • Smiths Grove, Ky
              • Hi, my name is Darrell. I'm an OTR truck driver for over 25 years. During my off time I love doing backyard cooks. I have a 48" Lang Deluxe smoker, Rec-Tec pellet smoker,1 Weber Genesis 330, 1 Weber Performer (blue), 2 Weber kettles (1 black and 1 Copper), 1 26" Weber kettle, a WSM, 8 Maverick Redi Chek thermometers, a PartyQ, 2 SnS, Grill Grates, Cast Iron grates, 1 ThermoPop (orange) and 2 ThermoPens (pink and orange) and planning on adding more cooking accessories. Now I have an Anova sous vide, the Dragon blower and 2 Chef alarms from Thermoworks.

              A pregnant woman wants her child to have very good manners. Every night while she's going to bed she rubs her stomach and says, "Be kind, be kind.1"

              Nine months comes and goes and she doesn't have the baby. She refuses to have doctors look at her because it is against her believes. She dies at the age of 70 and still hasn't given birth. The mystery is solved when doctors inspect her. Inside of her womb they find two little men saying to each other "No brother, after you."

              Comment

              • DWCowles
                Founding Member
                • Jul 2014
                • 9760
                • Smiths Grove, Ky
                • Hi, my name is Darrell. I'm an OTR truck driver for over 25 years. During my off time I love doing backyard cooks. I have a 48" Lang Deluxe smoker, Rec-Tec pellet smoker,1 Weber Genesis 330, 1 Weber Performer (blue), 2 Weber kettles (1 black and 1 Copper), 1 26" Weber kettle, a WSM, 8 Maverick Redi Chek thermometers, a PartyQ, 2 SnS, Grill Grates, Cast Iron grates, 1 ThermoPop (orange) and 2 ThermoPens (pink and orange) and planning on adding more cooking accessories. Now I have an Anova sous vide, the Dragon blower and 2 Chef alarms from Thermoworks.

                Two men are out hunting when one of them suddenly drops dead. He calls 911 immediately. The operator says "Can I help you sir?"

                The man replies "I think my friend is dead! Get an ambulance! What should I do?"

                The operator replies "Okay, calm down sir. First we have to make sure he is dead."

                There is silence, then a gun shot, then the man comes back on "Okay, what now?"

                Comment


                • gcdmd
                  gcdmd commented
                  Editing a comment
                  That sounds like an Aggie joke.

                • Mudkat
                  Mudkat commented
                  Editing a comment
                  I'm betting that's a true story! 😉
              • gcdmd
                Charter Member
                • Sep 2014
                • 927
                • The Republic of Texas

                Three Aggies went hunting together. Having had no luck in the blind, they decided to walk around the deer lease and see if they could find any deer, agreeing to meet back under a certain Live Oak in 2 hours. A couple of hours later two of the Aggies were back, tired and irritated at having seen nothing. Hearing some noise in the brush, one of them took a sound shot. They were horrified to hear their buddy scream out in pain as the bullet hit his arm.

                A few hours later in the emergency room the doctor came out into the waiting area shaking his head. Their friend was dead. "How can he be dead?" asked the first Aggie, "It was only a flesh wound!"

                "Well, boys," drawled the doctor, "it's true the wound didn't amount to much. But you really shouldn't of field dressed him before bringin' him in."
                Last edited by gcdmd; January 6th, 2018, 04:41 PM.

                Comment


                • Mudkat
                  Mudkat commented
                  Editing a comment
                  Okat. I hoping that's not a true story! 🤔

                • Mr. Bones
                  Mr. Bones commented
                  Editing a comment
                  Thanks, amigo!
                  An' oldie but goodie!
              • RonB
                Club Member
                • Apr 2016
                • 11206
                • Near Richmond VA
                • Weber Performer Deluxe
                  SNS
                  Pizza insert
                  Rotisserie
                  Smokenator 1000
                  Cookshack Smokette Elite
                  2 Thermapens
                  Chefalarm
                  Dot
                  lots of probes.
                  CyberQ

                No matter how hard you push the envelope, it'll still be stationary.

                Spinaker

                Comment


                • Spinaker
                  Spinaker commented
                  Editing a comment
                  Hahahaha

                • HawkerXP
                  HawkerXP commented
                  Editing a comment
                  Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
              • JCBBQ
                Club Member
                • Jan 2016
                • 1049
                • Jersey City, NJ
                • Primo Oval XL Ceramic Cooker
                  Pit Barrel Cooker
                  2x Mavrick 732
                  Therma Pen Orange
                  Favorite Bourbon Blanton's
                  SF Giants

                  MCS wish list - Lone Star Grillz off set

                Click image for larger version

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                Comment


                • SMOG MAN
                  SMOG MAN commented
                  Editing a comment
                  I don’t care who you are, THAT’S FUNNY!

              Announcement

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              Meat-Up in Memphis 2020

              Join us in Memphis for our Meat-Up! Space is limited to 400, secure your spot by booking early! Click here for details. (https://amazingribs.com/memphis2020)
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              Meat-Up in Memphis

              T-Shirts & More T-Shirts & More
              Order men's and women's T-Shirts, Sweatshirts, Aprons, Mugs, Caps, Tote Bags, Flasks, and more, all imprinted with the Pitmaster Club logo. There's even a spiral bound journal where you can make notes on your cooks.

              Cool Embroidered Shirt Cool Embroidered Shirt
              This beautifully embroidered shirt is the same one Meathead wears in public and on TV. It's wash and wear and doesn't need ironing (really!), but it is a soft cottonlike feel. Choice of four colors and both men's and women's.

              Click here for more info.

              Support ARC

              Many merchants pay us a small referral fee when you click our links and purchase from them. On Amazon it works on everything from grills to diapers, they never tell us what you bought, and it has zero impact on the price you pay, but has a major impact on our ability to improve this site! And remember, we only recommend products we love. If you like AmazingRibs.com, please save this link and use it every time you go to Amazon.

              https://tinyurl.com/amazingribs

              BBQ Stars

              Spotlight

              These are not ads or paid placements. These Are Some Of Our Favorite Tools And Toys.

              These are products we have tested, won our top awards, and are highly recommend. Click here to read how we test, about our medals, and what they mean.

              Use our links when you buy things

              Many merchants pay us a small referral fee when you click our links and purchase from them. On Amazon it works on everything from grills to diapers, they never tell us what you bought, it has zero impact on the price you pay, but has a major impact on our ability to improve this site! If you like AmazingRibs.com, please save this link and use it every time you go to Amazon

              https://tinyurl.com/amazingribs

               


              Placeholder

              Surely you know somebody who loves outdoor cooking who deserves a gift for the holidays, birthday, anniversary, or just for being wonderful. There he is, right in the mirror! Here are our selections of best ideas, all Platinum or Gold Medalists, listed by price.

              Click here to see our list of Gold Medal Gifts


              Digital Thermometers Are Your Most Valuable Tool And Here's A Great Buy!

              maverick PT55 thermometer

              A good digital thermometer keeps you from serving dry overcooked food or dangerously undercooked food. They are much faster and much more accurate than dial thermometers. YOU NEED ONE!

              Click here for more info on the Maverick PT-55 Waterproof Instant-Read Thermometer Review shown above. It may be the best value in a thermometer out there


              If you have a Weber Kettle, you need the Slow 'N' Sear

              slow n sear

              The Slow 'N' Sear turns your grill into a first class smoker and also creates an extremely hot sear zone you can use to create steakhouse steaks.

              Click here for our article on this breakthrough tool


              Bring The Heat With Broil King Signet's Dual Tube Burners

              the good one grill

              The Broil King Signet 320 is a modestly priced, 3-burner gas grill that packs a lot of value and power under the hood. Broil King's proprietary, dual-tube burners get hot fast and are able to achieve high, searing temps that rival most comparatively priced gas grills. The quality cast aluminum housing carries a Limited Lifetime Warranty.

              Click here to read our complete review


              The Good-One Is A Superb Grill And A Superb Smoker All In One

              the good one grill

              The Good-One Open Range is a charcoal grill with an offset smoke chamber attached. It is dramatically different from a traditional offset smoker. The grill sits low in front and doubles as a firebox for the smoke chamber which is spliced on above and behind so it can work like a horizontal offset smoker only better. By placing the heat source behind and under the smokebox instead of off to the side, Open Range produces even temperature from left to right, something almost impossible to achieve with a standard barrel shaped offset.

              Click here to read our complete review


              Pit Barrel Cooker Smoker

              Griddle And Deep Fryer All In One

              The flat top does the burgers and the fryer does the fries. Use the griddle for bacon, eggs, and home fries. Or pancakes, fajitas, grilled cheese, you name it. Why stink up the house deep frying and spatter all over? Do your fried chicken and calamari outside. Blackstone's Rangetop Combo With Deep Fryer does it all. Plus it has a built in cutting board, garbage bag holder, and paper towel holder. An additional work table on the left side provides plenty of counter space.

              Click here to read our detailed review and to order


              Pit Barrel Cooker Smoker

              The Pit Barrel Cooker May Be Too Easy

              The PBC has a rabid cult following for good reason. It is absolutely positively without a doubt the best bargain on a smoker in the world. Period. This baby will cook circles around the cheap offset sideways barrel smokers in the hardware stores because temperature control is so much easier. Best of all, it is only $299 delivered to your door!

              Click here to read our detailed review and the raves from people who own them


              The Undisputed Champion!

              thermapen

              The Thermoworks Thermapen MK4 is considered by the pros, and our team, to be the single best instant read thermometer. Don't accept cheap substitutes.  Click here to read our test results and comprehensive review and why it won our Platinum Medal .


              Compact Powerful Sear Machine For Your Next Tailgater

              Placeholder

              Char-Broil's Grill2Go x200 is a super-portable, fun little sizzler made of heavy, rust-proof cast aluminum. The lid snaps shut. Grab the handle and you're off to the party! Char-Broil's TRU-Infrared design produces searing heat while reducing fuel consumption. A 16 ounce LP gas canister is enough to keep you flipping burgers for hours.

              Click here to read our detailed review and to order


              The Cool Kettle With The Hinged Hood We Always Wanted

              NK-22-Ck Grill

              Their NK22CK-C Charcoal Kettle Grill puts a few spins on the familiar kettle design. In fact, the hinged lid with a handle on the front, spins in a rotary motion 180 degrees. It's hard to beat a Weber kettle, but Napoleon holds its own and adds some unique features to make the NK22CK-C a viable alternative.

              Click here for more about what makes this grill special


              Placeholder

              G&F Suede Welder's Gloves

              Heat Resistant Gloves With Extra Long Sleeves Hold The Hot Stuff

              If you're using oven mitts at the grill, it's time to trade up. Say hello to these suede welder's gloves. They're heat resistant enough to handle hot grill grates, and flexible enough to handle tongs. The extra long sleeves even let you reach deep into the firebox to move hot logs without getting burned. Our Fave.

              Click here to read our detailed review

              Click here to order from Amazon


              GrillGrates Take Gas Grills To The Infrared Zone

              grill grates

              GrillGrates(TM) amplify heat, prevent flareups, make flipping foods easier, keep small foods from committing suicide, kill hotspots, are easier to clean, flip over to make a fine griddle, and can be easily removed and moved from one grill to another. You can even throw wood chips, pellets, or sawdust between the rails and deliver a quick burst of smoke to whatever is above. Every gas grill needs them.

              Click here for more about what makes these grates so special


              kareubequ bbq smoker

              Our Favorite Backyard Smoker

              The amazing Karubecue is the most innovative smoker in the world. The quality of meat from this machine is astonishing. At its crux is a patented firebox that burns logs above the cooking chamber and sucks heat and extremely clean blue smoke into the thermostat controlled oven. It is our favorite smoker, period.

              Click here for our review of this superb smoker


              Masterbuilt MPS 340/G ThermoTemp XL Propane Smoker

              masterbuilt gas smoker

              The First Propane Smoker With A Thermostat Makes This Baby Foolproof

              Set ThermoTemp's dial from 175° to 350°F and the thermostat inside will adjust the burner just like an indoor kitchen oven. All you need to do is add wood to the tray above the burner to start smokin'.

              Click here to read our detailed review


              Professional Steakhouse Knife Set

              masterbuilt gas smoker

              Our founder, Meathead, wanted the same steak knives used by steakhouses such as Peter Luger, Smith & Wollensky, Morton's, Kobe Club, Palm, and many others. So he located the manufacturer and had them stamp our name on some. They boast pointed, temper-ground, serrated, high-carbon stainless-steel, half-tang blades with excellent cutting edge ability. The beefy hardwood handle provides a comfortable grip secured by three hefty rivets. He has machine washed his more than 100 times. They have never rusted and they stay shiny without polishing. Please note that we do not make, sell, or distribute these knives, they just engrave them with our name.

              Click here to read our detailed review and to order


              PK 360 grill

              Is This Superb Charcoal Grill A Kamado Killer?

              The PK-360, with 360 square inches of cooking space, this rust free, cast aluminum charcoal grill is durable and easy to use. Four-way venting means it's easy to set up for two zone cooking with more control than single vent Kamado grills. It is much easier to set up for 2-zone cooking than any round kamado. Beautifully designed and completely portable. Meathead says it is his preferrred grill.

              Click here to read our detailed review of the PK 360

              Click here to order it direct from PK and get a special deal for AmazingRibs.com readers only


              Fireboard: The Ultimate Top Of The Line BBQ Thermometer

              fireboard bbq thermometer

              With the ability to monitor up to six temperatures simultaneously with either Bluetooth or Wifi on your mobile phone, tablet, or computer, Fireboard is the best digital thermometer we’ve tested.

              Click here to read our detailed review


              Finally, A Great Portable Pellet Smoker

              Green Mountain Davey Crockett Grill

              Green Mountain's portable Davy Crockett Pellet Smoker is one mean tailgating and picnic machine. But it's also gaining popularity with people who want to add a small, set it and forget it pellet smoker to their backyard arsenal. And with their WiFi capabilities you can control and monitor Davy Crocket from your smart phone or laptop.

              Click here to read our detailed review and to order