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Being in a good place is important...Attached FilesComment
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How do you catch an elephant? Dig a huge hole. Put ashes at the bottom of it and a pea at the top edge. When an elephant comes to take a pea you kick it in the ashhole.Comment
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An elderly woman goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says,
'I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today...'
The bartender says, 'Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a drink. This one is on me.'
As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to her right says, 'I would like to buy you a drink, too.’
The woman says, 'Thank you. Bartender, I want a Scotch with two drops of water.'
'Coming up,' says the bartender
As she finishes that drink, the man to her left says, 'I would like to buy you one, too.'
The woman says, 'Thank you. Bartender, I want another Scotch with two drops of water.'
'Coming right up,' the bartender says.
As he gives her the drink, he says, 'Ma'am, I'm dying of
curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?'
The woman replies, 'Sonny, when you're my age, you've learned how to hold your liquor. Holding your water; however, is a whole other issue.'
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'OLD' IS WHEN... Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs and make love,' and you answer, 'Pick one; I can't do both!'
'OLD' IS WHEN...Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.
'OLD' IS WHEN...A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door,
'OLD' IS WHEN...Going braless pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
'OLD' IS WHEN...You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
'OLD' IS WHEN...You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police
'OLD' IS WHEN... 'Getting a little action' means you don't need to take any fiber today.
'OLD' IS WHEN... 'Getting lucky' means you find your car in the parking lot.
'OLD' IS WHEN...An 'all-nighter' means not getting up to use the bathroom.
AND
'OLD' IS WHEN... You are not sure these are jokes.
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A guy has to make plans...đź†
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The same goes for A1 or any other abomination crazy people put on their steak đź‚đź‚
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That pic reminded me of the time we had a guest (at the time, close friends of ours) whom we've had over many times for ribs, ask for A1 when I made steak one night. When we said we didn't have any she asked for ketchup. I was very proud of my poker face. Those are the ones you learn not to make steak for. #nosteakforyou #meatloafforyouComment
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What did the 3 legged dog say when he walked into the bar?
I'm looking for the man who shot my paw!Comment
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Time to retire the smoker (at least they weren't boiled ... I hope)?
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