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Meat-Up in Memphis 2021

Join us in Memphis for our Meat-Up! Space is limited to 400, secure your spot by booking early!
Click here for details. (https://amazingribs.com/memphis)
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  • Thunder77
    Founding Member
    • Jul 2014
    • 2747
    • Halethorpe, MD
    • Weber 26.75" Kettle with SnS. Broil King Baron 5 burner. Akorn Kamado, and Akorn Jr kamado. Primo Oval Junior. Love grilling steaks, ribs, and chicken. Need to master smoked salmon Favorite cool weather beer: Sam Adams Octoberfest Favorite warm weather beer: Yuengling Traditional Lager All-time favorite drink: Single Malt Scotch

    A pregnant prostitute is at the doctor for a checkup. The doctor asks "Do you know who the father is?" The woman bursts out laughing and says, " Doc, if you ate a can of beans could you tell which one made you fart?" 😜

    Comment


    • Mudkat
      Mudkat commented
      Editing a comment
      Lol!
  • RonB
    Club Member
    • Apr 2016
    • 12683
    • Near Richmond VA
    • Weber Performer Deluxe
      SNS
      Pizza insert
      Rotisserie
      Smokenator 1000
      Cookshack Smokette Elite
      2 Thermapens
      Chefalarm
      Dot
      lots of probes.
      CyberQ

    Click image for larger version

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    Comment

    • Breadhead
      Banned Former Member
      • Jul 2014
      • 0

      ......
      Attached Files

      Comment


      • EdF
        EdF commented
        Editing a comment
        Brilliant!
    • Dononeg
      Former Member
      • Jun 2017
      • 5
      • North Arlington, New Jersey

      A lonely old woman went to the pet store to find something to keep her company. She looked at the dogs and cats but it was a parrot that caught her eye. The pet shop owner warned the lady that the parrot has been around and has learned some pretty salty vocabulary. The lady bought the parrot anyway and brought it home.
      The parrot started cursing at the old women and calling her vulgar names. The woman warned the parrot but he didn’t stop. Finally the woman put the parrot in the refrig freezer for a minute as punishment.
      When she took the shivering parrot out of the freezer and asked it “Now what do you have to say for yourself”. The parrot said “before I say anything… What did that turkey in there do the tick you off?”

      Comment

    • Henrik
      Founding Member - Moderator Emeritus
      • Jul 2014
      • 4287
      • Stockholm, Sweden

      What do you call a a three legged cow?










      Lean beef

      Comment


      • Breadhead
        Breadhead commented
        Editing a comment
        Nickname... Tripod!
    • Willy
      Charter Member
      • Apr 2015
      • 1816
      • High Desert of the Great Southwest

      A man walks up to the bar with an ostrich behind him, and as he sits, the bartender asks for their order.

      The man says, "I'll have a beer" and turns to the ostrich. "What's yours?" "I'll have a beer too" says the ostrich.
      The bartender pours the beer and says "That will be $3.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pays with the exact change for payment.

      The next day, the man and the ostrich come again, and the man says "I'll have a beer," and the ostrich says "I'll have the same." Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

      This became a routine until late one evening, the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the bartender."Well, it's close to last call, so I'll have a large Scotch" says the man. "Same for me" says the ostrich. "That will be $7.20" says the bartender. Once again the man pulls exact change out of his pocket and places it on the bar.

      The bartender can't hold back his curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?"

      "Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and I found this old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever needed to pay for anything, I just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money will be there."

      "That's brilliant!" says the bartender. "Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!""That's right! Whether it's a gallon of milk, or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.

      "That's fantastic!" says the bartender. "You are a genius! ... Oh, one other thing sir, what's with the ostrich?"

      The man replies, "Oh, my second wish was for a chick with long legs."

      Comment


      • Huskee
        Huskee commented
        Editing a comment
        "... who agrees with everything I say"

      • Mudkat
        Mudkat commented
        Editing a comment
        That would be three wishes Huskee. 😀
    • Breadhead
      Banned Former Member
      • Jul 2014
      • 0

      ......
      Attached Files

      Comment

      • lancejlawson
        Club Member
        • Jul 2017
        • 5
        • Arvada, CO
        • "I have yet to find something that comes off the grill that doesn't pair well with a Coors Banquet" - Me

        Two friends were catching up one day.

        "Dude, how was your hunting trip?"

        "It was awesome! Except the last day, I came around a bend in the trail and was face-to-face with a 12ft grizzly! It went 'RAWR' and I just crapped my pants."

        "Aw, man, I don't know what I would do if I was that close to a grizzly. I'd probably have done the same."

        "No, just now, when I went 'RAWR'..."

        Comment


        • surfdog
          surfdog commented
          Editing a comment
          I laughed WAAAY too hard at that!
      • lancejlawson
        Club Member
        • Jul 2017
        • 5
        • Arvada, CO
        • "I have yet to find something that comes off the grill that doesn't pair well with a Coors Banquet" - Me

        A man walks up to the bar.

        Bartender: "What can I get for you?"

        Man: "Wanna make a bet?"

        B: "What's the bet?"

        M: "I bet you $50 that if you put a shot glass on the bar, I can pee in it without spilling a drop."

        B: "You've had 6 beers in two hours. I'll take that bet."

        Bartender places a shot glass on the bar. The man proceeds to pee everywhere but in the glass. He happily hands the bartender $50, who then starts cleaning up.

        B: "I knew that was a good bet. Why are you so happy?"

        M: "Well, I bet my friend over there $500 that I could pee all over your bar and you'd clean it up with a smile."

        Comment

      • Breadhead
        Banned Former Member
        • Jul 2014
        • 0

        ......
        Attached Files

        Comment

        • Craigar
          Founding Member
          • Jul 2014
          • 1101
          • Papillion, NE
          • * - Weber 26.75" OTG
            * - Weber 22.5" Premium cloaked in Crimson
            * - Slow 'N Sear
            * - Smoke E-Z - 26.75" (The Grain Silo)
            * - Lodge Sportsman Grill
            * - Weber Rapid Fire Chimney Starter
            * - Thermoworks ThermoPop
            * - Thermoworks Dot
            * - iGrill2 - 4 probes
            * - Favorite Beer - the cold one in my hand (craft beers of all flavors; haven't had a blue yummy in over 6 years) my tastes change with the season so it is difficult to name just a couple. However, I will occasionally have a vanilla porter float in the summer (Empyrean Vanilla Porter w/a scoop of homemade vanilla ice cream) as I usually drink stouts & porters in the colder months, pale ales & IPAs in the warmer months. I have to add Not Your Father's Root Beer to beers I use for floats.
            * - Booze - I don't really have a favorite, but lean towards single malt Scotch & Irish whiskey
            * - Wines - Reds: mainly the heavy stuff mixed in with the occasional pinot noir ( I have yet to meet a malbec I didn't like); Whites: German & Nebraska (hey, I have to support the home team)
            * - Favorite Spice outlets - Frisco Spices in LaVista, NE (the local butcher supply shop); Volcanic Peppers in Bellevue, NE
            * - Current butchers: Just Good Meats & Fareway Foods

          Ed and Linda met on a singles cruise and Ed fell head over heels for her. When they discovered they lived in the same city, only a few miles apart, Ed was ecstatic. He immediately started asking her out when they got home. Within a couple of weeks, Ed had taken Linda to dance clubs, restaurants, concerts, movies, and museums. Ed became convinced that Linda was indeed his soul mate and true love.

          Every date seemed better than the last. On the one-month anniversary of their first dinner on the cruise ship, Ed took Linda to a fine restaurant. While having cocktails and waiting for their salad, Ed said, "I guess you can tell I'm very much in love with you. I'd like a little serious talk before our relationship continues. So, before I get a box out of my jacket and ask you a life changing question, it's only fair to warn you, I'm a total golf nut. I play golf, I read about golf, I watch golf on TV. In short, I eat, sleep, and breathe golf. If that's going to be a problem for us, you'd better say so now!"

          Linda paused, then responded, "Ed, that certainly won't be a problem. I love you as you are and I love golf too; but, since we're being totally honest with each other, you need to know that for the last five years I've been a hooker."

          Ed said, "It's probably because you're not keeping your wrists straight when you hit the ball."

          Comment


          • Mudkat
            Mudkat commented
            Editing a comment
            Badumpbump! ☺

          • tbob4
            tbob4 commented
            Editing a comment
            Corny alert! Spinaker !!!!

          • Spinaker
            Spinaker commented
            Editing a comment
            I love it! LOL Craigar Thanks for the heads up tbob4 !! Let's get this going again. Fun times.
        • Breadhead
          Banned Former Member
          • Jul 2014
          • 0

          ......
          Attached Files

          Comment

          • Spinaker
            Moderator
            • Nov 2014
            • 10589
            • Land of Tonka
            • John "J R"
              Instagram: JRBowlsby
              Smokin' Hound Que
              Minnesota/ United States of America

              ********************************************
              Assistants
              Dexter (Beagle mix)
              Kinnick (American Foxhound)
              ************************

              Grills/Smokers/Fryers
              Big Green Egg (Large) X2
              Blackstone 36" Outdoor Griddle 4-Burner

              Broil King Keg
              Karubeque C-60
              Kamado Joe Jr. (Black)
              Lodge L410 Hibachi
              Pit Barrel Cooker
              Pit Barrel Cooker 2.0
              R&V Works FF2-R-ST 4-Gallon Fryer

              Weber Spirit Gasser
              ******************.
              Thermometers
              FireBoard (Base Package)
              Thermoworks ThermaPen (Red)
              Thermoworks MK4 (Orange)
              **************

              Accessories
              BBQ Dragon
              Big Green Egg Plate Setter
              Benzomatic TS4000 Torch X 2
              Benzomatic TS800 High Temp Torch X 2

              Bayou Classic 44 qt Stainless Stock Pot
              Bayou Classic 35K BTU Burner

              Digi Q DX2 (Medium Pit Viper Fan)
              Dragon VT 2-23 C Torch
              Eggspander Kit X2
              Field Skillet No. 8,10,12

              Finex Cat Iron Line
              FireBoard Drive
              Lots and Lots of Griswold Cast Iron
              Grill Grates
              Joule Water Circulator
              KBQ Fire Grate

              Kick Ash Basket (KAB) X4
              Lots of Lodge Cast Iron
              Husky 6 Drawer BBQ Equipment Cabinet
              Large Vortex
              Marlin 1894 .44 Magnum
              Marquette Castings No. 13 (First Run)
              Smithey No. 12
              Smokeware Chimney Cap X 3
              Stargazer No.10, 12
              Tool Wizard BBQ Tongs
              Univex Duro 10" Meat Slicer
              ********************************
              Fuel
              FOGO Priemium Lump Charcoal
              Kingsford Blue and White
              Rockwood Lump Charcoal
              Apple, Cherry & Oak Log splits for the C-60
              **************************

              Cutlery
              Buck 119 Special
              Dexter 12" Brisket Sword
              Global
              Shun
              Wusthof
              *******
              Next Major Purchase
              Lone Star Grillz 24 X 48 Offset

            What do you call fake pasta?


            An Impasta

            Comment


            • Thunder77
              Thunder77 commented
              Editing a comment
              Grooooooooan!! 😂
          • RonB
            Club Member
            • Apr 2016
            • 12683
            • Near Richmond VA
            • Weber Performer Deluxe
              SNS
              Pizza insert
              Rotisserie
              Smokenator 1000
              Cookshack Smokette Elite
              2 Thermapens
              Chefalarm
              Dot
              lots of probes.
              CyberQ

            Yesterday, my daughter again asked why I didn't do something useful with my time.

            Talking about my "doing something useful" seemed to be her favorite topic of conversation.


            She was "only thinking of me," and suggested I go down to the senior center and hang out with the guys. I did this and when I got home last night I decided to teach her a lesson about staying out of my business. I told her that I had joined a parachute club.

            She said, "Are you nuts? You 're almost 79 years old, and you're going to start jumping out of airplanes?"

            I proudly showed her that I even got a membership card.

            She said to me, "Good grief, where are your glasses! This is a membership to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club."


            "I'm in trouble again, and I don't know what to do...I signed up for five jumps a week," I told her. She fainted.


            Comment


            • EdF
              EdF commented
              Editing a comment
              Fortunately or unfortunately, I'm still working, and playing these kinds of games takes a lot of energy.

            • Mr. Bones
              Mr. Bones commented
              Editing a comment
              So, exackly how pricey was that Membership???

            • Mudkat
              Mudkat commented
              Editing a comment
              Mr. Bones It was priceless!
          • Craigar
            Founding Member
            • Jul 2014
            • 1101
            • Papillion, NE
            • * - Weber 26.75" OTG
              * - Weber 22.5" Premium cloaked in Crimson
              * - Slow 'N Sear
              * - Smoke E-Z - 26.75" (The Grain Silo)
              * - Lodge Sportsman Grill
              * - Weber Rapid Fire Chimney Starter
              * - Thermoworks ThermoPop
              * - Thermoworks Dot
              * - iGrill2 - 4 probes
              * - Favorite Beer - the cold one in my hand (craft beers of all flavors; haven't had a blue yummy in over 6 years) my tastes change with the season so it is difficult to name just a couple. However, I will occasionally have a vanilla porter float in the summer (Empyrean Vanilla Porter w/a scoop of homemade vanilla ice cream) as I usually drink stouts & porters in the colder months, pale ales & IPAs in the warmer months. I have to add Not Your Father's Root Beer to beers I use for floats.
              * - Booze - I don't really have a favorite, but lean towards single malt Scotch & Irish whiskey
              * - Wines - Reds: mainly the heavy stuff mixed in with the occasional pinot noir ( I have yet to meet a malbec I didn't like); Whites: German & Nebraska (hey, I have to support the home team)
              * - Favorite Spice outlets - Frisco Spices in LaVista, NE (the local butcher supply shop); Volcanic Peppers in Bellevue, NE
              * - Current butchers: Just Good Meats & Fareway Foods

            I saw this in a newsletter and I couldn't resist sharing:

            You never appreciate what you have until it is gone. Toilet paper is a good example...

            Comment

          Announcement

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          Meat-Up in Memphis 2021

          Join us in Memphis for our Meat-Up! Space is limited to 400, secure your spot by booking early!
          Click here for details. (https://amazingribs.com/memphis)
          See more
          See less
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          Meat-Up in Memphis

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          These are not ads or paid placements. These Are Some Of Our Favorite Tools And Toys.

          These are products we have tested, won our top awards, and are highly recommend. Click here to read how we test, about our medals, and what they mean.

          Use our links when you buy things

          Many merchants pay us a small referral fee when you click our links and purchase from them. On Amazon it works on everything from grills to diapers, they never tell us what you bought, it has zero impact on the price you pay, but has a major impact on our ability to improve this site! If you like AmazingRibs.com, please save this link and use it every time you go to Amazon

          https://tinyurl.com/amazingribs

           


          If you have a Weber Kettle, you need the Slow 'N' Sear

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          Click here for our article on this breakthrough tool


          The Good-One Is A Superb Grill And A Superb Smoker All In One

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          The Good-One Open Range is dramatically different from a traditional offset smoker. By placing the heat source behind and under the smokebox instead of off to the side, Open Range produces even temperature from left to right, something almost impossible to achieve with a standard barrel shaped offset.

          Click here to read our complete review


          Griddle And Deep Fryer In One

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          Click here to read our detailed review and to order


          The Pit Barrel Cooker May Be Too Easy

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          Click here to read our detailed review and the raves from people who own them


          The Undisputed Champion!

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          Click here to read our comprehensive Platinum Medal review


          Grilla Pellet Smoker proves good things come in small packages

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          Click here for our review on this unique smoker


          Delta by Nuke,
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          Delta by Nuke burns wood or charcoal and comes with an adjustable height grill grate. This Argentinian grill will get your flame on!

          Click here to read our complete review


          Genesis II E-335 
          A Versatile Gasser That Does It All!

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          Click here to read our complete review


          GrillGrates Take Gas Grills To The Infrared Zone

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          Click here for more about what makes these grates so special


          Is This Superb Charcoal Grill A Kamado Killer?

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          The PK-360, with 360 square inches of cooking space, this rust free, cast aluminum charcoal grill is durable and easy to use. Four-way venting means it's easy to set up for two zone cooking with more control than single vent Kamado grills. It is beautifully designed, completely portable, and much easier to set up for 2-zone cooking than any round kamado.

          Click here to read our detailed review of the PK 360

          Click here to order directly and get an exclusive AmazingRibs.com deal


          Our Favorite Backyard Smoker

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          Click here for our review of this superb smoker


          Masterbuilt MPS 340/G ThermoTemp XL Propane Smoker

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          This is the first propane smoker with a thermostat, making this baby foolproof. Set ThermoTemp's dial from 175° to 350°F and the thermostat inside will adjust the burner just like an indoor kitchen oven. All you need to do is add wood to the tray above the burner to start smokin'.

          Click here to read our detailed review


          Digital Thermometers Are Your Most Valuable Tool And Here's A Great Buy!

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          Click here to read our complete review


          Track Up To Six Temperatures At Once

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          FireBoard Drive 2 is an updated version of a well-received product that sets the standard for performance and functionality in the wireless food thermometer/thermostatic controller class.

          Click here for our review of this unique device


          The Cool Kettle With The Hinged Hood We Always Wanted

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          Napoleon's NK22CK-C Charcoal Kettle Grill puts a few spins on the familiar kettle design. In fact, the hinged lid with a handle on the front, spins in a rotary motion 180 degrees. It's hard to beat a Weber kettle, but Napoleon holds its own and adds some unique features to make the NK22CK-C a viable alternative.

          Click here for more about what makes this grill special


          Finally, A Great Portable Pellet Smoker

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          Green Mountain's portable Davy Crockett Pellet Smoker is one mean tailgating and picnic machine. But it's also gaining popularity with people who want to add a small, set it and forget it pellet smoker to their backyard arsenal. And with their WiFi capabilities you can control and monitor Davy Crocket from your smart phone or laptop.

          Click here to read our detailed review and to order