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2021 Meat-Up In Memphis Canceled - Rescheduled for March 2022

We've unfortunately had to cancel the 2021 Meat-Up in Memphis. We are rescheduling for March 18-20, 2022. More details and re-booking info coming soon! For now click here for more info.
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  • Storlok
    Club Member
    • Mar 2016
    • 242
    • Hernando, MS

    Do I Look Like?

    The husband came home from work, went to the kitchen to put away his lunch box and noticed that a cabinet door hinge had broken and the door was hanging askew. He proceed to put away his lunch box and dishes, went to the sofa and sat down to read the newspaper. The wife comes into the living room and advises her husband that the cabinet door needs repair. The husband lowers the paper, looks at his wife and states, Do I look like a carpenter to you?. and returns to reading the paper.
    A few days later, as the husband is putting away the lunch box, he notices that the sink is full of water. He goes to the sofa, picks up the news paper and begins to read. Again the wife comes into the living room and advises the husband that the garbage disposal on the sink stopped working and the sink is clogged and needs repair. The husband lowers his newspaper, looks as his wife and states, Do I look like a plumber to you?, and returns to reading the paper.
    A couple of days later, the husband comes home and notices that the food on the stovetop is creating a major amount of steam. Trying to be helpful, he turns on the switch to the vent-a-hood, but nothing happens. He goes to the sofa, picks up the newspaper and begins to read. Once again the wife comes into the living room to advise the husband that the vent-a-hood has shorted out and is not working. The husband lowers the paper, looks at his wife and states, Do I look like an electrician to you?, and goes back to reading the paper.
    A few days later the husband comes home from work, goes to the kitchen to put away his lunch box and supplies. He notices that the cabinet door has been repaired, the sink is clear and clean, the vent-a-hood is on and merrily running. The husband goes into the living room where the wife is reading a magazine. The husband asks the wife how much all of these repairs are going to cost him, assuming that a carpenter, plumber and electrician all had made repairs to the kitchen. The wife advises that husband that it did not cost him one red cent. You see, Johnny next door is very handy with tools. He offered to make all of the repairs if I would either bake him a cake, or sleep with him. Oh, says the husband, what kind of cake did you make him? The wife lowers the magazine, looks up at her husband, and says, Do I look like Betty Crocker to you?, and returns to reading her magazine.
    So guys, if she wants you to make the repair, Make The Repair!!

    Comment

    • kmwweiskircher
      Club Member
      • Apr 2016
      • 50
      • Middleton, Idaho

      Ok, 2nd grade humor! We were taking our restroom break, I'm standing out in the hall waiting for all 29 to be done. One boy runs out of the bathroom very offended. While at the urinal, another boy asks him if he was American. He said yes. The other boy said nuh-uh, you're a peein! I think I devastated the kid because I laughed! I'm not sure if either one really got the joke, but I did! In my little bubble, I have not heard that one before.

      Comment


      • Mr. Bones
        Mr. Bones commented
        Editing a comment
        I can [i]totally[i] appreciate 2nd grade humor, if told slowly enough!!!
        Thanks!!!!

      • Bruce54
        Bruce54 commented
        Editing a comment
        But it's worse! Over a few short minutes they went from Uruguayan to European to Finnish.
    • RonB
      Club Member
      • Apr 2016
      • 13841
      • Near Richmond VA
      • Weber Performer Deluxe
        SNS
        Pizza insert
        Rotisserie
        Smokenator 1000
        Cookshack Smokette Elite
        2 Thermapens
        Chefalarm
        Dot
        lots of probes.
        CyberQ

      What do you call a group of men waiting for a haircut? A barbercue.

      Comment


      • Steve Vojtek
        Steve Vojtek commented
        Editing a comment
        Soo funny.. I'm gonna use that if you don't mind...

      • RonB
        RonB commented
        Editing a comment
        Steve Vojtek - be my guest.

      • tbob4
        tbob4 commented
        Editing a comment
        Terrible!!!! Two thumbs up.
    • MBMorgan
      Club Member
      • Sep 2015
      • 6637
      • Colorado
      • > Weber Genesis EP-330
        > Grilla Grills Original Grilla (OG) pellet smoker
        > Pit Barrel Cooker (gone to a new home)
        > WeberQ 2000 (on "loan" to a relative)
        > Old Smokey Electric (for chickens mostly - when it's too nasty out
        to fiddle with a more capable cooker)
        > Luhr Jensen Little Chief Electric - Top Loader circa 1990 (smoked fish & jerky)
        > Thermoworks Smoke
        > 3 Thermoworks Chef Alarms
        > Thermoworks Thermapen
        > Thermoworks IR-GUN-S
        > Anova sous vide circulator
        > Searzall torch
        > BBQ Guru Rib Ring

      Why does this seem to resonate??? ... (works for Q, too) ...

      Click image for larger version  Name:	IWantAHotBodyButIAlsoWantTacos.jpg Views:	1 Size:	77.8 KB ID:	311025

      Comment


      • Steve Vojtek
        Steve Vojtek commented
        Editing a comment
        I prefer Nachos...

        Nacho Libre? If I'm correct....

      • surfdog
        surfdog commented
        Editing a comment
        Tacos always win.
        I want to work on my "summer" body...but I just finished my Winnie the Pooh "winter' body.

      • Huskee
        Huskee commented
        Editing a comment
        Those are his recreation clothes.
    • Craigar
      Founding Member
      • Jul 2014
      • 1119
      • Papillion, NE
      • * - Weber 26.75" OTG
        * - Weber 22.5" Premium cloaked in Crimson
        * - Slow 'N Sear
        * - Smoke E-Z - 26.75" (The Grain Silo)
        * - Lodge Sportsman Grill
        * - Weber Rapid Fire Chimney Starter
        * - Thermoworks ThermoPop
        * - Thermoworks Dot
        * - iGrill2 - 4 probes
        * - Favorite Beer - the cold one in my hand (craft beers of all flavors; haven't had a blue yummy in over 6 years) my tastes change with the season so it is difficult to name just a couple. However, I will occasionally have a vanilla porter float in the summer (Empyrean Vanilla Porter w/a scoop of homemade vanilla ice cream) as I usually drink stouts & porters in the colder months, pale ales & IPAs in the warmer months. I have to add Not Your Father's Root Beer to beers I use for floats.
        * - Booze - I don't really have a favorite, but lean towards single malt Scotch & Irish whiskey
        * - Wines - Reds: mainly the heavy stuff mixed in with the occasional pinot noir ( I have yet to meet a malbec I didn't like); Whites: German & Nebraska (hey, I have to support the home team)
        * - Favorite Spice outlets - Frisco Spices in LaVista, NE (the local butcher supply shop); Volcanic Peppers in Bellevue, NE
        * - Current butchers: Just Good Meats & Fareway Foods

      A priest and a rabbi were sitting next to each other on an airplane. After a while, the priest turned to the rabbi and asked: "Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?"
      The rabbi responded: "Yes, that is still one of our beliefs."
      The priest then asked: "Have you ever eaten pork?"
      To which the rabbi replied: "Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to temptation and tasted a ham sandwich." The priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading.
      A while later, the rabbi spoke up and asked the priest: "Father, is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?"
      The priest replied: "Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith."
      The rabbi then asked him: "Father, have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh?"
      The priest replied: "Yes, rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke with my faith."
      The rabbi nodded understandingly and remained silently thinking for about five minutes. Finally, the rabbi said: "Beats a ham sandwich, doesn't it?"

      Comment


      • EdF
        EdF commented
        Editing a comment
        The rabbi should have tried bacon!

      • surfdog
        surfdog commented
        Editing a comment
        Classic
    • Dr ROK
      Charter Member
      • Dec 2014
      • 1351
      • Morrill, Nebraska
      • Retired high school teacher and principal
        Dr ROK - Rider of Kawasaki &/or rock and roll fan
        Yoder 640 on Husker themed comp cart
        Cookshack Smokette smoker
        Antique refrigerator smoker
        Weber 22 1/2" kettle w/ GrillGrates AND Slow and Sear
        Rec Tec Mini Portable Tailgater w/ GrillGrates
        Plenty of GrillGrates
        Uuni wood pellet oven, first generation
        Roccbox Pizza Oven
        Meater Block
        "Go Big Red" Thermopen instant read thermometer
        Ultrafast instant read thermometer
        CDN quick read thermometer
        Maverick ET-732 thermometer
        Maverick ET-735 thermometer
        Tru-Temp wireless thermometer
        Infrared thermometer (Mainly use for pizza on the Uuni and Roccbox)

        Beverages - Is there really anything other than Guinness? Oh yeah, I forgot about tequila!

      What do you call a bear with no ears?


      B

      Comment


      • RonB
        RonB commented
        Editing a comment
        Booo - I like it.

      • tbob4
        tbob4 commented
        Editing a comment
        You got me. I had to read it twice and then felt stupid for not getting it the first go-around. Very funny. kmwweiskircher - that's a good one for your students!
    • Spinaker
      Moderator
      • Nov 2014
      • 10997
      • Land of Tonka
      • John "J R"
        Instagram: JRBowlsby
        Smokin' Hound Que
        Minnesota/ United States of America

        ********************************************
        Assistants
        Dexter (Beagle mix)
        Kinnick (American Foxhound)
        ************************

        Grills/Smokers/Fryers
        Big Green Egg (Large) X3
        Blackstone 36" Outdoor Griddle 4-Burner

        Karubeque C-60
        Kamado Joe Jr. (Black)
        Lodge L410 Hibachi
        Pit Barrel Cooker
        Pit Barrel Cooker 2.0
        R&V Works FF2-R-ST 4-Gallon Fryer

        Weber Spirit Gasser
        ******************.
        Thermometers
        FireBoard (Base Package)
        Thermoworks ThermaPen (Red)
        Thermoworks MK4 (Orange)
        **************

        Accessories
        Big Green Egg Plate Setter
        Benzomatic TS4000 Torch X 2
        Benzomatic TS800 High Temp Torch X 2

        Bayou Classic 44 qt Stainless Stock Pot
        Bayou Classic 35K BTU Burner

        Digi Q DX2 (Medium Pit Viper Fan)
        Dragon VT 2-23 C Torch
        Eggspander Kit X2
        Field Skillet No. 8,10,12

        Finex Cat Iron Line
        FireBoard Drive
        Lots and Lots of Griswold Cast Iron
        Grill Grates
        Joule Water Circulator
        KBQ Fire Grate

        Kick Ash Basket (KAB) X4
        Lots of Lodge Cast Iron
        Husky 6 Drawer BBQ Equipment Cabinet
        Large Vortex
        Marlin 1894 .44 Magnum
        Marquette Castings No. 13 (First Run)
        Smithey No. 12
        Smokeware Chimney Cap X 3
        Stargazer No.10, 12
        Tool Wizard BBQ Tongs
        Univex Duro 10" Meat Slicer
        ********************************
        Fuel
        FOGO Priemium Lump Charcoal
        Kingsford Blue and White
        Rockwood Lump Charcoal
        Apple, Cherry & Oak Log splits for the C-60
        **************************

        Cutlery
        Buck 119 Special
        Cuda 7' Fillet Knife

        Dexter 12" Brisket Sword
        Global
        Shun
        Wusthof
        *******
        Next Major Purchase
        Lone Star Grillz 24 X 48 Offset

      I asked my Dad for his best "Dad joke" and he said.........


      "You"

      Comment


      • Craigar
        Craigar commented
        Editing a comment
        At least he didn't tell you that you were never born but hatched.

      • tbob4
        tbob4 commented
        Editing a comment
        Boooo! Hahahahaha

      • Spinaker
        Spinaker commented
        Editing a comment
        Okay tbob!!!! Good to have you back. tbob4
    • Mr. Bones
      Charter Member
      • Sep 2016
      • 10427
      • Kansas Territory
      • Grills / Smokers
        *********************************************

        Kingsford 24" grill (Free) 'Billy'
        Brinkmann Smoke n Grill
        Oklahoma Joe Highland, gaskets, LavaLock baffle / tuning plate. 'Big Joe'
        Weber 18" Kettle ($30 CL) 'Lil' Feller'
        Weber Smokey Joe ($25 CL) 'Lil' Brother'
        Weber 22.5 Master Touch '93 P Code Blue($85) from fellow WKC member Bmitch 'Elwood'
        Weber 22.5 Bar-B-Q Kettle '69-'70 "Patent Pending" Red ($80) from fellow WKC member dwnthehatch 'Maureen'
        Weber 22.5 OTS DD Code Black ($40 CL) 'DeeDee'
        Weber 22.5 OTS DO Code Black ($15 CL)
        Weber 22.5 OTS E Code Black ($20 CL
        Weber 22.5 OTS EE Code Black ($20 CL

        Weber "C" Code 18.5" WSM '81 ($50 CL) 8-0!!!
        Weber "H" Code 18.5" WSM '86 ($75 CL)
        Weber " " Code 18.5" WSM

        Weber 26.75, $199 NFM clearance !!!
        Weber SJS AH 'Lil' Brother'
        Weber SJS AT 'Lil' Sister'
        Weber SJS DE Code (FREE) 'Lil' Helper'
        Weber SJG M Code 'Lil Traveller'
        Weber SJS AH Code 'Kermit'
        (Lime Green)
        Horizon 20" Classic, w/baffle/tuning plate (FREE)
        Good One Open Range, (FREE), Monthly Prize from AR giveaway!!!!



        Thermometers:
        *********************************************
        Ol' Skool Bi-metal probe pocket thermo, that has checked / served ~ 1,000,000 meals in my possession, easily...
        Maverick ET-732, (Black)
        Thermopops, (Red, Yellow, Green)
        ThermaPen Mk4 (Black), THANKS!!! to jgjeske1
        Blue ThermaPen Mk4
        Orange Thermapen Mk4
        Pink Thermapen Mk4
        ThermoWorks IR-GUN-S
        ThermoWorks Smoke
        ThermoWorks Open Box Smoke
        4 Pro Series cable extensions
        Smoke Gateway

        Accessories:
        *********************************************
        2 Slow 'N Sears, Slow 'N Sear XL, Grill 'N Griddle
        BBQ Vortex, 2 Hovergrills, Top Deck
        Warming shelf
        MyWeigh KD-8000Kitchen Scale
        Backyard Grill marinade injector
        Acoustic Guitars/Electric Guitars/Basses/1928 National Duolian/Harmonicas/Banjo Washboard, Spoons, kazoos, pocket comb with wax paper, egg shakers ;-)
        Bear Paws
        Meat Rakes
        BBQ Dragon/Chimley of Insanity, Dragon Wing Shelves (x2 ea.)



        Cookware:
        Probably a ton of cast iron, mostly very old...still cookin'
        G'Ma's Piqua skillet, :-)( They went out of business in 1934~)
        '60's Revere Ware (Mom's), + others found elsewhere
        60's CorningWare 10-cup percolator (Mom's) Daily driver
        50's CorningWare 10-cup percolator (G'Ma's), for a backup! ;-)
        Carpy Wally World stock pots, in approx 2 gal/3gal sizes, blue speckledty-porcelain enameled
        Tramontina 6.5 qt Dutch Oven

        Cutlery, etc.:
        Shi*-ton of kitchen/chef knives, most sharper than my straight-razors are. (Better steel!) Chicago Cutlery, Old Hickory, various, including some nice German stuff ;-)
        Dexter 12" slicing knife, 6" Sani-Safe boning knife
        Smith's Tri-Hone Natural Arkansas Knife Sharpening System
        Multiple steels, from all over the planet
        Crock sticks
        Diamond stones, various
        Lansky Sharpening System

        Tableware
        Daily driver:Washington Forge Mardi Gras, Navy / Cobalt Blue
        Dinner: Guests: Washington Forge, Town and Country
        Fancy / Formal: Family silverware

      Absolutely True Story...(I Suwanee)*
      (But still funny)
      My Da', when he was quite young, first discovered twins, while goin' to school...
      Natcherly curious, he asked his Long Sufferin' Ma if he'd ever had a twin...???
      She paused from washin' th' dishes, an' slowly looked gravely down at him...
      She said "Yes, Don. You were born twins to a turd, but th' Baby died!"

      * Note: G'Ma verified that, indeed, she had told him jus' exackly that.)
      Last edited by Mr. Bones; April 29, 2017, 07:47 PM.

      Comment

      • Willy
        Charter Member
        • Apr 2015
        • 1942
        • High Desert of the Great Southwest

        Not a joke, but some pretty cool magic. I'm always especially suspicious when video is involved, but this is good regardless.

        https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/emb...GaDgRWX4?rel=0

        Comment


        • Mr. Bones
          Mr. Bones commented
          Editing a comment
          Quite enjoyable, thanks!!!

        • Mosca
          Mosca commented
          Editing a comment
          Shin Lim is insanely talented, one of the best in the world with cards and small items. The "smoke" is one of his trademarks.
      • Atalanta
        Club Member
        • Jul 2016
        • 431
        • Barnsley's Ford
        • Grills: 22" Weber (wood handles) (another Weber on the way), Lodge Sportsman "hibachi"
          Smoker: None yet, part of why I joined
          Thermometer: 10+ yr old Taylor digital thermometer with remote
          Sous Vide: Anovo Imersion Circulator (1st gen)
          Coffee Roaster: Hot Top Coffee Roaster
          Adult Beverages: Fighting Cock Bourbon, Leinny Shandy, Troegs Mad Elf

        We occasionally go do bar trivia, and are usually one of the winning teams. At the bar, they have a monitor that rotates through specials, events, what's on tap, and witticisms. I have started to try to catch the witticisms so I could share them here. Or at least the ones I like.

        Hermits have no peer pressure.

        I hate the country, all those animals walking around uncooked.

        Comment


        • Thunder77
          Thunder77 commented
          Editing a comment
          Love them! Yeah those uncooked animals really bug me too... :-)
      • Steve Vojtek
        Charter Member
        • Mar 2015
        • 612
        • Melbourne Australia
        • 6 & 2 burner gas BBQ's
          Diy electric smoker
          A-maze-n-tube 12 inch
          Gas powered pizza oven
          GMG Davy Crockett with Wifi
          Rosle 24 inch charcoal kettle
          Slow'nSear - my favourite
          2 x Thermapens
          2 x wireless thermometers
          3 x wired thermometers
          Favourite drink:
          Scotch whiskey various brands
          American Honey WT
          And beer ....
          And at work just plain old chilled water....

        I have the greatest respect for Engineers but they don't always get it right :
        https://youtu.be/WjYNSJHZBz8

        Comment


        • Mr. Bones
          Mr. Bones commented
          Editing a comment
          Great Video!
      • Thunder77
        Founding Member
        • Jul 2014
        • 2876
        • Halethorpe, MD
        • Weber 26.75" Kettle with SnS. Broil King Baron 5 burner. Akorn Kamado, and Akorn Jr kamado. Primo Oval Junior. Love grilling steaks, ribs, and chicken. Need to master smoked salmon Favorite cool weather beer: Sam Adams Octoberfest Favorite warm weather beer: Yuengling Traditional Lager All-time favorite drink: Single Malt Scotch

        I've found a job helping a one armed typist do capital letters.

        It's shift work.

        What do the movies titanic and the sixth sense have in common.

        Icy dead people.

        Comment

      • Willy
        Charter Member
        • Apr 2015
        • 1942
        • High Desert of the Great Southwest

        Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica ?
        Where do they go?

        Wonder no more ! ! !

        It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life. The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life, as well as maintain a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life.

        If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into, and buried.

        The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing:

        "Freeze a jolly good fellow."
        "Freeze a jolly good fellow."

        Comment


        • kmhfive
          kmhfive commented
          Editing a comment
          That's…well, it's…. Funny?
      • RonB
        Club Member
        • Apr 2016
        • 13841
        • Near Richmond VA
        • Weber Performer Deluxe
          SNS
          Pizza insert
          Rotisserie
          Smokenator 1000
          Cookshack Smokette Elite
          2 Thermapens
          Chefalarm
          Dot
          lots of probes.
          CyberQ

        What do you call a blind dinosaur?

        A doyouthinkhesaurus.

        Comment


        • RonB
          RonB commented
          Editing a comment
          Spinaker - no, I didn't see it. I did see it in a theater though.

        • Spinaker
          Spinaker commented
          Editing a comment
          Hahaha, it was on last night. And the kid tells that joke in the movie. I just figured you were watching it. LOL

        • Henrik
          Henrik commented
          Editing a comment
          Ha ha! Right up my alley!
      • surfdog
        Club Member
        • Mar 2016
        • 1306
        • Sunny SoCal
        • Cooking gadgets
          Weber Summit Charcoal Grill Center
          Weber Summit Platinum D6
          Blue Rhino Razor
          Dyna-Glo XL Premium Dual Chamber
          Camp Chef Somerset IV along with their Artisan Pizza Oven 90
          Anova WiFi

          Thermometers
          Thermapen Mk4 - ThermaQ High Temp Kit - ThermaQ Meathead Kit - ThermaQ WiFi - ThermoWorks IR-GUN-S - ThermoWorks Signals & Billows - ThermoPop -ThermoWorks ProNeedle - ThermoWorks TimeStick Trio x2 - and a Christopher Kimball timer - NO, I do not work for ThermoWorks...I just like their products.

          Other useful bits...
          KitchenAid 7-qt Pro Line stand mixer
          A Black & Decker food processor that I can't seem to murder
          A couple of immersion blenders, one a "consumer" model & the other a "high end" Italian thing. Yes, the Italian one is a bit better, but only marginally
          Instant Pot Duo Evo Plus 8-qt + accessories like egg-bite & egg holders
          All-Clad pots & pans, along with some cast iron...everything from 7" Skookie pans to 8.5qt Dutch ovens
          Weber GBS griddle, pizza stone, and wok
          Knives range from Mercer to F. Dick to "You spent how much for one knife? One knife?!" LOL

        An American, an Englishman and a Scot are in a rural pub...

        A fly lands in the American's beer. He jumps up and starts making a scene. "G*&&%^$ there's a ^*(^(&%$ fly in my beer! Bring me another *^(&%*( beer! NOW &(^(&%!!" And they deliver him another.

        As fate would have it, a short time later another fly lands in the Englishman's beer. He half raises a hand to attract a barmaid... "Excuse me...eh, excuse me...if it's not much of a bother, I'd like another beer please. It just seems, well...it seems a fly has taken a liking to my beer and I'd really rather have another. If it's not a problem. Thank you ever so much" He too is given a fresh beer.

        Still later, another fly plops himself into the Scot's beer. He looks down and glares incredulously...then thrusts his hand into his beer grabbing the fly by the wings says, "Spi' it out ya wee bugger!"

        Comment

        Announcement

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        2021 Meat-Up In Memphis Canceled - Rescheduled for March 2022

        We've unfortunately had to cancel the 2021 Meat-Up in Memphis. We are rescheduling for March 18-20, 2022. More details and re-booking info coming soon! For now click here for more info.
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        Meat-Up in Memphis