Welcome!


This is a membership forum. As a guest, you can click around a bit. View 5 pages for free. If you would like to participate, please join.

[ Pitmaster Club Information | Join Now | Login | Contact Us ]

There are 4 page views remaining.

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Jokes!

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    Comment


    Click image for larger version

Name:	E2CFAEF1-2981-4787-A8FC-A7B5C580022B.jpeg
Views:	195
Size:	8.9 KB
ID:	1099284

    Comment


      Click image for larger version

Name:	D62FABE9-1743-4583-83C6-8223DC80B4B7.jpeg
Views:	195
Size:	31.7 KB
ID:	1099286 Click image for larger version

Name:	7656361C-7AB9-4C0B-927A-722A1ED6FBAB.jpeg
Views:	512
Size:	46.4 KB
ID:	1099287

      Comment


        Saw this on xkcd and thought it was appropriate for this group:

        Click image for larger version

Name:	cast_iron_pans_2x.png
Views:	170
Size:	67.1 KB
ID:	1099501

        Comment


        • Mr. Bones
          Mr. Bones commented
          Editing a comment
          LOL!!!

          Many Thanks fer sharin this, Brother!

        • RonB
          RonB commented
          Editing a comment
          Spinaker

        Click image for larger version

Name:	C98D1940-5EB2-46F3-8E94-1E1B49B19D91.jpeg
Views:	166
Size:	81.9 KB
ID:	1099549

        Comment


          I put my grandma on speed dial; I call that instagram.

          No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

          The other day I held a book open for a clown; it was a jester.

          Child comes home from school and says, "They are going to teach us cursive. I told the teacher that I am not allowed to talk that way."


          Comment


            I feel it is my responsibility to keep you all up on the latest theological advances. So here goes:

            A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer to 'Where do pets come from?' Adam said, 'Lord, when I was in the garden, you walked with me every day. Now I do not see you any more. I am lonesome here and it is difficult for me to remember how much you love me.'And God said 'No problem. I will create a companion for you that will be with you forever and who will be a reflection of my love for you so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourself.' And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam. And it was a good animal. And God was pleased. And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and it wagged its tail. And Adam said, 'Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal.' And God said, 'No problem. Because I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him Dog.' And Dog lived with Adam and was a companion to him and loved him. And Adam was comforted. And God was pleased. And Dog was content and wagged his tail. After a while, it came to pass that Adam's guardian angel came to the Lord and said, 'Lord, Adam has become filled with pride. He struts and preens like a peacock and he believes he is worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught him that he is loved, but perhaps too well.' And the Lord said, 'No problem. I will create for him a companion who will be with him forever and who will see him as he is. The companion will remind him of his limitations, so he will know that he is not always worthy of adoration.' And God created Cat to be a companion to Adam. And Cat would not obey Adam. And when Adam gazed into Cat's eyes, he was reminded that he was not the Supreme Being. And Adam learned humility. And God was pleased. And Adam was greatly improved. And Dog was happy. And Cat didn't care one way or the other.

            Comment


            • Mr. Bones
              Mr. Bones commented
              Editing a comment
              AMEN, Brother!!!

            • CaptainMike
              CaptainMike commented
              Editing a comment
              As an obedient servant to my benevolent Siamese Master I totally get it!!

            • 58limited
              58limited commented
              Editing a comment
              A dog can learn about 250 words and gestures, count to five, and learn simple math. Human age equivalent: 5

              A cat doesn't give a damn and is sick and tired of your crap. Human age equivalent: 42

            Click image for larger version

Name:	242422178_10158553263805028_3692503686263280653_n.jpg
Views:	181
Size:	25.2 KB
ID:	1099695

            Comment


            • new2smoking
              new2smoking commented
              Editing a comment
              Eric, you left your cigar at home when you went out to picket Fred Meyer?

            Comment


            • CaptainMike
              CaptainMike commented
              Editing a comment
              "And gentlemen in England now a-bed
              Shall think themselves accursed they were not here,
              And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
              That fought with us upon Saint Crispin’s day."

              This always makes me want to go kick some French a$$!!

            • new2smoking
              new2smoking commented
              Editing a comment
              CaptainMike I thought at first that the Shakespeare quote made you want to go catch some French A$$. 🙄

            • CaptainMike
              CaptainMike commented
              Editing a comment
              Hahahaha, that'll work too!!!

            A follow up to Orion's post:

            Click image for larger version

Name:	How much for a Gram.jpg
Views:	195
Size:	33.5 KB
ID:	1099712

            Comment


            • new2smoking
              new2smoking commented
              Editing a comment
              As a grandpa (Papa) and grandma (Bama to our littlest) we loved this, and shared it with the extended family. Who wouldn't love to have a 'gram' taking care of them, especially for the low, low price of $250!

            • Mr. Bones
              Mr. Bones commented
              Editing a comment
              Truly, yall: A Bargain, At Any Price!!! :cheers)

              Mine not only usedta feed me wonderful comfort food, taught me to cook, along with me Ma, but would offer me some Buckhorn Beers , oncet I was 'Of Age' : (~puberty, in th Hills )
              Last edited by Mr. Bones; September 25, 2021, 03:02 PM. Reason: o vs 0

            Seems appropriate for a BBQ Forum :-D

            Comment


            • Mr. Bones
              Mr. Bones commented
              Editing a comment
              Yup! I must be related; done seened me dat Plenty Times, growin up......

            An ol' cowboy, rugged and well weathered, makes a visit to town and walks into the only barbershop. The barber says, "What can I do you for today, sir?" "I need a shave, a real close shave." replies the cowboy. He runs his hands on his cheeks. "Will all these here wrinkles, I just can't get a real close shave. Can you help me with that?"

            "Sure!" the barber says. He sits the cowboy down in a chair. Reaching up on a shelf he grabs a wooden ball. He hands it to the cowboy and says, "Just put this ball in your mouth, between your teeth and the inside of your cheek and we'll get started." The cowboy pops the ball in his cheek and the barber commences shaving him, having the cowboy move the ball over to the other cheek to finish. As the barber finishes up he tells the cowboy, "There you go sir, smooth as a baby's behind."

            The cowboy reaches up and and is pleasantly surprised at his smooth, close-shaven cheeks. He pays the barber happily. "Thank you sir!" says the cowboy. "But I have one question before I leave. That wooden ball . . .what would have happened if I had swallowed on accident?"

            "Oh, no problem there, sir. You could leave and bring the ball back in a couple of days. Like all the others do."

            Comment


            • CaptainMike
              CaptainMike commented
              Editing a comment
              Hahahaha, that's a joke my dad would tell!!!

            • Mr. Bones
              Mr. Bones commented
              Editing a comment
              OBAG!!!
              Last edited by Mr. Bones; September 24, 2021, 07:38 PM.

            Perspective is everything.

            Click image for larger version

Name:	6BE3CDD1-9D9A-475B-92C6-64367B1FA7CA.jpeg
Views:	192
Size:	120.1 KB
ID:	1099797

            Comment


            • Mr. Bones
              Mr. Bones commented
              Editing a comment
              Is there a Garnasheed minimum THC level???

            Click image for larger version

Name:	ADE09D66-C8D1-4197-AB1E-41ED943AA634.jpeg
Views:	185
Size:	71.2 KB
ID:	1099799

            Comment


            • Mr. Bones
              Mr. Bones commented
              Editing a comment
              Don'tcha never feel too dang awful bad, or foolish bout nunna alla dat, Brother...

              I was 7...
              Last edited by Mr. Bones; September 24, 2021, 07:27 PM. Reason: needed me some more emoticons...ahhh: Better, Now! :-p

            • tbob4
              tbob4 commented
              Editing a comment
              This has been my family’s favorite joke since you posted it. This includes my brother who texted for two days declaring how hard he was laughing.

            More Python:



            Last edited by Mr. Bones; September 25, 2021, 12:47 AM.

            Comment


            • new2smoking
              new2smoking commented
              Editing a comment
              I'm crying, Mr. Bones !

            • Mr. Bones
              Mr. Bones commented
              Editing a comment
              new2smoking So Glad I could help, Brother!
              Jus what th Doctor ordered, eh?

            • Bbqmikeg
              Bbqmikeg commented
              Editing a comment
              I think we all have a friend by that name. Mostly I’m that friend.

          Announcement

          Collapse
          No announcement yet.
          Working...
          X
          false
          0
          Guest
          500
          ["pitmaster-my-membership","login","join-pitmaster","lostpw","reset-password","special-offers","help","nojs","meat-ups","gifts","authaau-alpha","ebooklogin-start","alpha","start"]
          false
          false
          {"count":0,"link":"/forum/announcements/","debug":""}
          Yes
          Rubs Promo
          Meat-Up in Memphis