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      A woman eating a salad at the table next to mine said, "You know a cow had to die so you could eat that hamburger." I replied, "Well it might still be alive if you weren't eating its food."

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        Just one more beverage and we can eat.

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        • HawkerXP
          HawkerXP commented
          Editing a comment
          Wibs! What rub did you use?

        • RonB
          RonB commented
          Editing a comment
          Looks like 100% bark to me...

        • Mr. Bones
          Mr. Bones commented
          Editing a comment
          Noice pullback, on th bones, as wail...

        An ‘Oh No Moment’

        You’re lying face down on the exam table after undergoing a fairly painful rectal exam and as the guy is leaving a nurse comes in holding a tray with towels and instruments, and she turns over her shoulder looking at the guy then turns to you and says “who was that guy?”

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        • Wedunne
          Wedunne commented
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          Are you telling us that something on the internet is not real? Surely that's impossible!

        • Panhead John
          Panhead John commented
          Editing a comment
          I’m shocked as well!

        • Bighorn Dave
          Bighorn Dave commented
          Editing a comment
          Don't need to be real to be funny. Majority of the jokes are made up so nothing new.


        Actually, it works for any day if you're retired!

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            Don’t mean to get all political, but…
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            • Mosca
              Mosca commented
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              Stealing.

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                      A broke blonde decides to ask God for help. "Dear Lord," she prays, "if I don't get some cash, I’m gonna lose everything. Please let me win the lottery."

                      Lottery night comes, but the blonde doesn't win. She prays even harder, saying, "God, why have you forsaken me? My children are starving. Please just let me win this once."

                      Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light, and the blonde hears God speak. "Sweetheart, work with me on this," he says. "Buy a ticket."

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                        Doctor: You have a disease, but we can treat it.

                        Patient: What's the Cure?

                        Doctor: It's an 80s rock band fronted by Robert Smith, but let's try to stay focused...

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                        • SheilaAnn
                          SheilaAnn commented
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                          Being that the 80’s were my formative years, love this!

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