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Jokes!

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    Here's a tongue twister I made a up a couple years ago when some of us were talking about making homemade butter and how it's better than storebought:

    Blending better butter's better than buying butter but you'd better buy a better butter blender or you're back to buying butter.

    Comment


    • JimLinebarger
      JimLinebarger commented
      Editing a comment
      You can use a good butter blender because of the wide margarine for error.
      Last edited by JimLinebarger; August 26, 2021, 04:44 PM.

    My wife and I adopted all our kids and we've never once regretted it. I wonder how they're doing in their new families...

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    • ofelles
      ofelles commented
      Editing a comment
      Come on folks being the Administrator you have to like these!...............Just kidding, really I am 😁

    I often wonder.....Who is Pete and why do we keep doing things for his sake?

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    • lemayp
      lemayp commented
      Editing a comment
      I am Pete, so keep doing things for my sake...

    • Bbqmikeg
      Bbqmikeg commented
      Editing a comment
      Pete and repeat were in a boat. Pete jumped out. Who’s left?
      Pete and…

    An older couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time. Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married. Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work. They discussed finances, living arrangements, and so on.

    Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship. “How do you feel about sex?” he asked, rather tentatively. “I would like it infrequently “, she replied.

    The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, adjusted his glasses, then leaned over towards her and whispered, “Is that one word or two?”

    Comment


      What do you call someone who refuses to fart in public?
      A private tutor.

      Comment


        I don’t trust these stairs because they’re always up to something.

        Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.

        I usually take steps to avoid elevators.

        Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed.

        There was a big paddle sale at the boat store. It was quite an oar deal.

        What’s the definition of a will? (It’s a dead giveaway).

        He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.

        It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.

        What has five fingers and looks human? A severed hand.

        It’s not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn’t have the balls to do it.

        My new theory on inertia doesn’t seem to be gaining momentum.

        Did you hear about the crime that happened in a parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels.

        Smaller babies may be delivered by stork but the heavier ones need a crane.

        Comment


          Knock Knock



          Comment


          • Stuey1515
            Stuey1515 commented
            Editing a comment
            Lol!! and now there is coffee all over the keyboard!! 🤣

          Click image for larger version

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          • Mr. Bones
            Mr. Bones commented
            Editing a comment
            Doo Waa Doo Waa Doo Waa Doo Waa DooWaa
            Doo Waa Doo Waa Doo Waa Doo Waa DooWaa!
            Last edited by Mr. Bones; August 28, 2021, 10:44 AM.

          Some Sattiday mornin laughs, an levity.
          Keep smilin, yall!

          Comment


          • RichieB
            RichieB commented
            Editing a comment
            Thanks for the chuckles 😃. Use to watch The Honeymooners all the time.

          • RonB
            RonB commented
            Editing a comment
            I've seen the show a time or two myself...

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            Another, more food related:

            Comment


            • new2smoking
              new2smoking commented
              Editing a comment
              That was great!

            • Mr. Bones
              Mr. Bones commented
              Editing a comment
              new2smoking He was, indeed, "The Great One"

            • RonB
              RonB commented
              Editing a comment
              I think he wus @Panhead John's father...

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                A DEA officer stopped at our farm yesterday, he said “I need to inspect your farm for illegal growing drugs.”
                I said “Okay, but don’t go in that field over there.”
                The DEA officer verbally exploded saying, “Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me!” Reaching into his rear pants pocket, the arrogant officer removed his badge and shoved it in my face. “See this badge?! This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish…. On any land !! No questions asked or answers given!! Have I made myself clear?…. do you understand?!!”
                I nodded politely, apologized, and went about my chores. A short time later, I heard loud screams, looked up, and saw the DEA officer running for his life, being chased by my big old mean bull…. With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it seemed likely that he’d sure enough get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified.
                I threw down my tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of my lungs
                “Your badge, show him your BADGE!!”






                Comment


                • Mr. Bones
                  Mr. Bones commented
                  Editing a comment
                  AMEN Brother!!!

                  Yall jus stay there, in yer big cities, an reckon we'll all be jus fine...

                • Donw
                  Donw commented
                  Editing a comment
                  Now that is a good joke!

                • Henrik
                  Henrik commented
                  Editing a comment
                  Ha ha ha! Really classy!!

                Comment

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