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        • Mr. Bones
          Mr. Bones commented
          Editing a comment
          Yup, in an instant...

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        • wu7y
          wu7y commented
          Editing a comment
          I'd bet his name is Stu.

        • Panhead John
          Panhead John commented
          Editing a comment
          Stu? 😂😂😂

        • Stuey1515
          Stuey1515 commented
          Editing a comment
          Huh, what, did someone call me





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        • Mr. Bones
          Mr. Bones commented
          Editing a comment
          yup...I ain't spendin Thousands on no hearin aid.
          Shoulda been VA covered...ain't mad, jus sayin.
          Fortunately, from pre-pubescance, had cousins who were deaf mutes, learned to sign.

        • gcdmd
          gcdmd commented
          Editing a comment
          Mr. Bones
          Dang right it should be covered, especially for someone like you who served in a high noise environment.

        A mother-in-law arrives home from the mall to find her son-in-law boiling angry and hurriedly packing his suitcase.

        "What happened?", she asks anxiously. "What happened! I'll tell you what happened. I sent an email to my wife telling her I was coming home today from my business trip. I get home, and guess what I found? Yes, your daughter, my wife, with a guy in our bed! This is unforgivable, the end of our marriage. I'm done. I'm leaving forever!"

        "Calm down, calm down!" says his mother-in-law. "There is something very odd going on here. My daughter would never do such a thing! There must be a simple explanation. I'll go speak to her immediately and find out what happened."

        Moments later, the mother-in-law comes back with a big smile. "I told you there must be a simple explanation... she didn't get the email."

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        • Mr. Bones
          Mr. Bones commented
          Editing a comment
          Packin, an leavin is a Very Good Plan, vs. Triple Homicide, I have found, thus far.

          I will gladly offer Updates, if that changes.

        Two mafia hit-men are walking deep into a forest in the middle of the night. One of them says, "I'm kind of scared out here." The other replies, "You're scared... I gotta walk back alone!"

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        • wu7y
          wu7y commented
          Editing a comment
          That's like the driver who picked up a hitchhiker. Hitchhiker got in and asked the driver if he wasn't just a bit afraid that he may have picked up a homicidal maniac. Driver just looked at him, smiled, and said, "No. What's the chance of two homicidal maniacs being in the same car at the same time?"

        Does anybody know if you need a current driver's license to drive an electric car?

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        • Foehn Watts
          Foehn Watts commented
          Editing a comment
          wu7y --
          Smarta**.
          LOL as I type!!!

        • JimLinebarger
          JimLinebarger commented
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          My understanding is that it is currently a direct transfer. Alternatively, the current license will need to be renewed more frequently. This change in frequency has caused some people to revolt. But in today's society, that is not shocking.

        • wu7y
          wu7y commented
          Editing a comment
          You are close to being the king here JimLinebarger, but there is a shocking mistake in your analysis - a change in frequency infrequently results in revolt. Trading in one's Chevy electric for another of the same is revolting.
          Last edited by wu7y; August 26, 2021, 10:32 PM.

        A local business was looking for office help and put up a sign saying: "HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer." A short time afterwards, a golden retriever dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined. Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However, the dog looked determined, so he led him into the office.

        Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager. The manager said, "I can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type." The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair.

        The manager was stunned, but then told the dog, "The sign says you have to be good with a computer." The dog jumped down again and went to the computer. The dog proceeded to demonstrate his expertise with various programs and produced a sample spreadsheet and database and presented them to the manager.

        By this time the manager was totally dumbfounded! He looked at the dog and said, "I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities. However, I still can't give you the job." The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the part about being an Equal Opportunity Employer. The manager said, "Yes, but the sign also says that you have to be bilingual."

        The dog looked at him and said, "Meow."

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          Since puns seem so popular:
          • Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
          • Doctor: “Sir, I’m afraid your DNA is backwards.” Me: “And?”
          • Just burned 2,000 calories. That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
          • Becoming a vegetarian is a big missed steak.
          • RIP boiled water. You will be mist.
          • My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned. I couldn’t concentrate.
          • Did you hear about the pessimist who hates German sausage? He always fears the Wurst.
          • Most people are shocked when they find out how bad an electrician I am.

          Comment


          • Polarbear777
            Polarbear777 commented
            Editing a comment
            Lost my job at the candle factory because I refused to work on the wickends.

          • Huskee
            Huskee commented
            Editing a comment
            These are great!

          It's gettin' deep in here. I love it!

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            ofelles Usin my connections as a sparky, managed to find ya one, Brother!!!

            It probly won't be cheap, bein an uncommon, low sales item...

            Also, gonna havedta move yer switches around...

            This could git Expen$ive LOL!!!

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            • ofelles
              ofelles commented
              Editing a comment
              Mr. Bones that's what I love about this place we all are looking out for each other! In one way or another

            • willxfmr
              willxfmr commented
              Editing a comment
              Way back in the day, when I was doing residential work, I had a customer that insisted that the outlet be between the two switches. I told them I'd have to order a custom plate, and install it when it arrives. That was a good 25 years ago. I wonder if they are still waiting for me to come back and swap the plates out?

            Stacy got a new sign for her chicken coop!

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            • Panhead John
              Panhead John commented
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              I’m well known for all the hot chicks that I get. Some of them have all their teeth.
              Last edited by Panhead John; August 26, 2021, 05:35 PM.

            • ecowper
              ecowper commented
              Editing a comment
              Bogy our town allows 6 birds in an aviary :-) .... they don't define what the size, shape, or construction of the aviary should be nor do the define what sorts of birds are allowed. Per those rules, I put a roof over my whole backyard and have 6 ostriches

            • gcdmd
              gcdmd commented
              Editing a comment
              Panhead John
              Do any have more tattoos than teeth?

            I went to McDonald’s today for lunch. I decided to have a kids meal. Boy, was his mother mad.
            Last edited by Panhead John; August 26, 2021, 04:54 AM.

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              A friend wondered if people have sex after death. I said it depends on who you get for a mortician.

              Comment


              • SheilaAnn
                SheilaAnn commented
                Editing a comment
                This is actually hilarious, as my cousin is a mortician and his father before him! We used to play in the funeral home as kids. We were never allowed to go into one room…… you can guess which room that was.

              • ComfortablyNumb
                ComfortablyNumb commented
                Editing a comment
                SheilaAnn The bedroom?

              • SheilaAnn
                SheilaAnn commented
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                ComfortablyNumb 🤣🤣🤣 actually, the apartment was behind the funeral home through another door. My grandmas house was across the alley.

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