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Jokes!

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    • JimLinebarger
      JimLinebarger commented
      Editing a comment
      ComfortablyNumb Well our phone number was BR-550. Some used car lot had the number before ours.

    • Bogy
      Bogy commented
      Editing a comment
      Our number was digit different than one of the funeral homes on town. We'd get calls at 3 in the morning to come pick up a body. Dad, also a pastor, would say. "No, I'm the next call you need to nake." Or something like that. 😉

    • gcdmd
      gcdmd commented
      Editing a comment
      JimLinebarger

      Sa--LUTE!!!

    Eating too much cake is the sin of gluttony. However, eating too much pie is OK because the sin of pi is always zero!

    Comment


    • Foehn Watts
      Foehn Watts commented
      Editing a comment
      Oh, Bogy , there ain't no sin (HA!) like this joke.
      Keep up the good work!

    Math jokes, excellent!

    What do you get when you eat 3.14 cakes?

    Fat, you get fat.

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    • Foehn Watts
      Foehn Watts commented
      Editing a comment
      What SIZE were those 3.14 cakes?

    • PBCDad
      PBCDad commented
      Editing a comment
      Foehn Watts the circumference of the cakes were π x diameter. Hope that helps

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      • Clark
        Clark commented
        Editing a comment
        That idiot isn't using a water pan.

      • Panhead John
        Panhead John commented
        Editing a comment
        Clark I swear, I just busted out loud laughing 😂

      • Foehn Watts
        Foehn Watts commented
        Editing a comment
        Clark -- but he doesn't NEED a water pan.

      Do you know what the battery said to the bag of corn chips?

      "I'm Eveready, are you Frito Lay?"

      (Told to me today in a clinic waiting room by an 81 year old fellow who not only had the same exact name as me, but our birthdays were only two days apart)

      Comment


      • RonB
        RonB commented
        Editing a comment
        You don't look 81 un your avatar...

      • ComfortablyNumb
        ComfortablyNumb commented
        Editing a comment
        RonB You are correct. I'm prehistoric, but it doesn't show.

        Our birthDAYS were two days apart. There were a a bit more difference in our birthYEARS.

      • Mr. Bones
        Mr. Bones commented
        Editing a comment
        So Cool!

        So, now, There's 2 ComfortablyNumb s ridin th trails?

        Mind.Blown.

        RonB
        Last edited by Mr. Bones; July 30, 2021, 07:58 PM. Reason: pluralization fouled my tag, keereckted, hopefully...

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        • ComfortablyNumb
          ComfortablyNumb commented
          Editing a comment
          As an owner of poultry, I can assure chicken 'love' isn't pretty or pleasurable. The hen does her best to run, but eventually the rooster catches her. He grabs the back of her neck with his beak, frequently tearing out feathers. He then mounts her back and digs in his spurs. After he deposits his 'load', he jumps off. The hen stands up, ruffles her feathers, and carries on.

        • JimLinebarger
          JimLinebarger commented
          Editing a comment
          ComfortablyNumb The entire time you were giving the description I was hearing Howard Cossel's voice. Then I heard John Madden's voice.

        • Foehn Watts
          Foehn Watts commented
          Editing a comment
          JimLinebarger -- ". . . What is this "love-life" of which you speak? " I'm sorry. You need to have this explained to you by a frisky relative.
          ComfortablyNumb -- yep, happens that way 'round here too. However, we have had plenty of hens immediately <ahem>, assume the position when the rooster approaches. Now whether it was due to being resigned to fate or come hither horniness, I cannot say.
          And I sure as shootin' cannot tell if it was "good" for her, no matter what reaction she displays . . .
          Last edited by Foehn Watts; August 2, 2021, 12:14 PM.

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        • gcdmd
          gcdmd commented
          Editing a comment
          After a while, crocodile.

        • Mr. Bones
          Mr. Bones commented
          Editing a comment
          gcdmd CUL8R, alligator...

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        • ScottyC13
          ScottyC13 commented
          Editing a comment
          Ha ha! Excellent!

        • Bogy
          Bogy commented
          Editing a comment
          Did you check out the flip side?

        • SheilaAnn
          SheilaAnn commented
          Editing a comment
          The live concert was so bad, all you heard was the fans hissing……

          (Credit: BF)

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        • wu7y
          wu7y commented
          Editing a comment
          I love it!! Had a college classmate named Bates. One of our well tenured professors referred to him as Master Bates for two complete semesters. M. Bates deserved everything he got from Professor Arnold and the fun part was that there wasn't a damned thing he could do about it.

        • SmokingPat
          SmokingPat commented
          Editing a comment
          "And what's all this talk about violins on television ... oh, 'violence'? ... never mind ☺️ ..."

        • Mr. Bones
          Mr. Bones commented
          Editing a comment
          "Liver Boats!!!" SMOKIN PAT LOL

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          • HawkerXP
            HawkerXP commented
            Editing a comment
            Did you stumble onto a "teachers jokes" clearinghouse? LoL!

          • ComfortablyNumb
            ComfortablyNumb commented
            Editing a comment
            HawkerXP I tend to limit my stumbling to on the floor. Occasionally I get lucky and manage to stumble into bed, which is about as far as my luck goes!
            Last edited by ComfortablyNumb; August 1, 2021, 06:40 AM.

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            I wonder if Huskee can relate?

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