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2021 Meat-Up In Memphis Canceled - Rescheduled for March 2022

We've unfortunately had to cancel the 2021 Meat-Up in Memphis. We are rescheduling for March 18-20, 2022. More details and re-booking info coming soon! For now click here for more info.
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Jokes!

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  • bbqoaf
    Former Member
    • Jul 2014
    • 751
    • Calgary, Alberta, Canada

    #31
    Two mushrooms try to get into a bar and the bouncer says "We don't let your kind in here." One mushroom says "C'mon, we won't cause any trouble, we're fungi's!".

    Comment


    • Marauderer
      Marauderer commented
      Editing a comment
      I was really slow on that one Fungi's Arr Arr Arr!!

    • Huskee
      Huskee commented
      Editing a comment
      Funny! I heard a variation of this- A toadstool walk into a mushroom bar and order a drink. The bartender says "sorry pal" and points to a sign above the bar which says "Mushrooms only". The toadstool says "C'mon, I'm a fungi!"

    • Steve Vojtek
      Steve Vojtek commented
      Editing a comment
      I also heard a variation: What did one mushroom say to another? You're a fungi.........
  • bep35
    Founding Member
    • Jul 2014
    • 326
    • 1987 Weber Kettle (Still going!)
      2004 Cookshack Smokette (The original!)
      2012 Weber Genesis (Wonderful for steaks and chops!)
      2014 Pit Barrel Cooker (Lovin it!)
      Thermoworks Thermapen
      Thermoworks Mini Handheld Thermocouple & Meat Needle Probe
      Various other wireless remote thermometers

      Beer...Bud Light (Timeless)

    #32
    An elderly couple take a trip to the Holy Land. As usual the wife complained about everything, food, lodging, etc. Near the end of their journey the wife unexpectidly died. The local official explained to the husband that he could put his wife's body on a plane back to the US for $7,500 or he could have her buried in the Holy Land for $200. Without hesitation the husband says to put her body on a plane. The official is somewhat surprised and asks why he would spend $7,500 to send her body back to the US when he could have her buried in the Holy Land for $200. The husband replied, "Look, 2,000 years ago a man was buried here and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance!

    Comment


    • Huskee
      Huskee commented
      Editing a comment
      Lol. In a similar vein to post #28 above. Never heard this one before, thanks!

    • Mr. Bones
      Mr. Bones commented
      Editing a comment
      O.M.G!! See above, LOVE IT! Thanks!!!

    • TooOld
      TooOld commented
      Editing a comment
      Supposedly true story of a family vacationing in Mexico and the grandmother died. To avoid the paperwork they bought a rug and wrapped the body in it and put it on top the car. Once they got across the border they stopped to eat. When they came out they saw that the rug had been stolen!
  • BruceB
    Founding Member
    • Aug 2014
    • 222
    • Des Moines WA
    • Grilla Silverbac Original -2020
      aobosi Sous Vide device - 2019
      Weber Original Kettle Premium 22" Copper - 2015
      Pit Barrel Cooker - 2014 - retired Sept 2020
      Brinkmann 4 burner gas grille (very old, stout, and still working well!)
      Slow 'n' Sear for 22" kettle
      Grill Grates for the gasser
      CDN DSP-1 dual sensor probe therm
      Maverick ET-732 therm
      Thermapop digital therm (x2 red and white)
      Thermapen - orange
      Little Chief electric cold smoker (lots of salmon thru this!)

    #33
    The Speed Limit

    Sitting on the edge of the highway waiting to catch speeders, a state police officer saw a car driving along at 22 mph. He thinks to himself, that car is just as dangerous as a speeder. So, he turns his lights on and pulls the car over. Approaching the car, he notices there are 5 old ladies, two at the front and 3 at the back, wide eyed and looking like ghosts.

    The driver, obviously confused, said, "Officer, I don't understand, I wasn't doing over the speed limit! What did you pull me over for?" "Ma'am," the officer said, "You should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be dangerous".

    "Slower than the speed limit? No sir! I was doing exactly 22 miles an hour", the old woman said proudly.

    The officer, trying not to laugh, explains that 22 is the route number, not the speed limit. A little embarrassed, the woman smiled and thanked the officer for pointing out her error.

    "Before I go Ma'am, I have to ask, is everyone ok? These women seem badly shaken and haven't said a word since I pulled you over."

    "Oh! they'll be all right in a minute, officer. We just got off Route 142".

    Comment


    • DSiewert
      DSiewert commented
      Editing a comment
      When I die, I hope to go peacefully like my grandmother did.... Not screaming in terror like the other people in her car....
  • Jon Solberg
    Former Member
    • Jul 2014
    • 4729

    #34
    What do you call a boy who finally stood up to the bullies?


    An ambulance.


    Comment

    • smarkley
      Former Member
      • Jul 2014
      • 1421

      #35
      Hahahahaha....

      Click image for larger version

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      if this is inappropriate I will understand

      Comment


      • Mr. Bones
        Mr. Bones commented
        Editing a comment
        Lovin' it!

        Gives a new level to the term' Food Porn!'

      • Dale Case
        Dale Case commented
        Editing a comment
        HAHAHAHA !! That's awesome !! (RIP)

      • treesmacker
        treesmacker commented
        Editing a comment
        Well, maybe since the ask was for clean jokes, but really funny and where do we get those weenie roasters?
    • smarkley
      Former Member
      • Jul 2014
      • 1421

      #36
      Chuck Norris? Never Heard of her.

      Click image for larger version

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      Comment


      • Spinaker
        Spinaker commented
        Editing a comment
        This sums up Smark's humor. Miss you buddy,
    • smarkley
      Former Member
      • Jul 2014
      • 1421

      #37
      mobile BBQ

      Click image for larger version

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      Comment

      • Marauderer
        Founding Member
        • Jul 2014
        • 1443
        • Powder Springs, Georgia
        • [ATTACH=CONFIG]temp_6496_1424176307798_786[/ATTACH] Barry
          Powder Springs, GA

          Weber S470 with smoker box and insulated custom cover
          RecTec w/grilling mat, front shelf, cover, Nomex Sealing Gasket, Hurd Downdraft Hood, Fuller's Earth,oversize wheels
          GMG Davy Crockett Wifi
          Blackstone 1575
          Seville Classics Rolling Workbench
          Grill Grates searing kit
          (2) Maverick ET-732
          Thermopen Classic w/glo case, Thermopop, Time Stick, Extra Big and Loud Timer, Chef Alarm
          Wine maker from kits, Merlot, Liebfraumilch, N.Z. Pinot Noir, and some other fuity tuity wines that are great with "Q"
          PickleMeister
          Pampered Chef Knives
          All Clad BD5
          Tyent Water Ionizer

          I want a "Stick Burner"!! Looking at Lang 36" Hybrid Deluxe. Either patio or trailer haven't made up my mind.

        #38
        SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES -
        NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING,
        BUT

        THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE
        WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN THE STAIRS.

        Comment


        • The Burn
          The Burn commented
          Editing a comment
          This actually made me snort

        • Mr. Bones
          Mr. Bones commented
          Editing a comment
          Yup. Agreed. Guinness almost actually exited through me nostrils, Boyo!

          Thanks for sharing!
      • mtford72
        Former Member
        • Aug 2014
        • 127
        • San Antonio, Texas

        #39
        Two pieces of tarmac walk into a bar. They spy a red piece drinking sullenly in the corner, turn a leave hurriedly.
        A while later they come back in, and the red piece is gone.
        "What happened there?" asked the barman.
        "Oh, you don't want to be around him when he's drinking, he's a cycle path!"
        Last edited by mtford72; December 31, 2014, 03:25 PM.

        Comment

        • morganjim
          Club Member
          • Jul 2014
          • 109
          • East Texas
          • CampChef PG24 Pellet Grill owner.

          #40
          What do you call a boomerang that wont come back?





          A stick.

          Comment

          • morganjim
            Club Member
            • Jul 2014
            • 109
            • East Texas
            • CampChef PG24 Pellet Grill owner.

            #41
            Click image for larger version

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ID:	27561 A picture is worth a thousand pulled pork sandwiches.

            Comment

            • Marauderer
              Founding Member
              • Jul 2014
              • 1443
              • Powder Springs, Georgia
              • [ATTACH=CONFIG]temp_6496_1424176307798_786[/ATTACH] Barry
                Powder Springs, GA

                Weber S470 with smoker box and insulated custom cover
                RecTec w/grilling mat, front shelf, cover, Nomex Sealing Gasket, Hurd Downdraft Hood, Fuller's Earth,oversize wheels
                GMG Davy Crockett Wifi
                Blackstone 1575
                Seville Classics Rolling Workbench
                Grill Grates searing kit
                (2) Maverick ET-732
                Thermopen Classic w/glo case, Thermopop, Time Stick, Extra Big and Loud Timer, Chef Alarm
                Wine maker from kits, Merlot, Liebfraumilch, N.Z. Pinot Noir, and some other fuity tuity wines that are great with "Q"
                PickleMeister
                Pampered Chef Knives
                All Clad BD5
                Tyent Water Ionizer

                I want a "Stick Burner"!! Looking at Lang 36" Hybrid Deluxe. Either patio or trailer haven't made up my mind.

              #42
              That has to be a "Far Side" Joke. It is really good!!

              Comment

              • cdd315
                Founding Member
                • Jul 2014
                • 357
                • Warman, Saskatchewan Canada
                • Curtis D

                  BGE Large
                  45 gal Imp. UDS
                  Weber 22.5" Silver - for the lake
                  Weber 22.5" OTG - 2014
                  Centro Natural Gas - on it's last legs

                  Couple Maverick ET-733's
                  Thermapen
                  ThermoPop
                  BBQ Guru DigiQ II

                  Beer - Original 16
                  Bourbon - Bulleit
                  Rye - Gibsons Sterling

                #43
                Farside, those are one of my fav's It would be signed with Larson though like this one.
                Click image for larger version

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                Comment

                • cdd315
                  Founding Member
                  • Jul 2014
                  • 357
                  • Warman, Saskatchewan Canada
                  • Curtis D

                    BGE Large
                    45 gal Imp. UDS
                    Weber 22.5" Silver - for the lake
                    Weber 22.5" OTG - 2014
                    Centro Natural Gas - on it's last legs

                    Couple Maverick ET-733's
                    Thermapen
                    ThermoPop
                    BBQ Guru DigiQ II

                    Beer - Original 16
                    Bourbon - Bulleit
                    Rye - Gibsons Sterling

                  #44
                  Here's another good Far Side

                  Click image for larger version

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ID:	27605

                  Comment

                  • Mayhem Mike
                    Former Member
                    • Jul 2014
                    • 34
                    • Salt Lake City, Utah

                    #45
                    THE BEST AUSSIE JOKE EVER?

                    A bloke's wife goes missing while diving off the West Australian coast.

                    He reports the event, searches fruitlessly and spends a terrible night
                    wondering what could have happened to her.
                    Next morning there's a knock at the door and he is confronted by a
                    couple of policemen, the old Sarge and a younger Constable.

                    The Sarge says, 'Mate, we have some news for you, unfortunately some
                    really bad news, but, some good news, and maybe some more good news'.

                    'Well,' says the bloke, 'I guess I'd better have the bad news first?'
                    The Sarge says, 'I'm really sorry mate, but your wife is dead. Young
                    Bill here found her lying at about five fathoms in a little cleft in
                    the reef. He got a line around her and we pulled her up, but she was
                    dead.'

                    The bloke is naturally pretty distressed to hear of this and has a bit
                    of a turn. But after a few minutes he pulls himself together and asks
                    what the good news is.

                    The Sarge says, 'Well when we got your wife up there were quite a few
                    really good sized crays and a swag of nice crabs attached to her, so
                    we've brought you your share.'

                    He hands the bloke a sugar bag with a couple of nice crays and four or
                    five crabs in it.

                    'Geez thanks. They're bloody beauties. I guess it's an ill wind and
                    all that... So what's the other possible good news?

                    'Well', the Sarge says, 'if you fancy a quick trip, me and young Bill
                    here get off duty at around 11 o'clock and we're gonna shoot over
                    there and pull her up again!

                    Comment


                    • Mr. Bones
                      Mr. Bones commented
                      Editing a comment
                      Wowser!, that's a dandy keeper, mate!

                    • Dale Case
                      Dale Case commented
                      Editing a comment
                      Hahaha !!!

                  Announcement

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                  2021 Meat-Up In Memphis Canceled - Rescheduled for March 2022

                  We've unfortunately had to cancel the 2021 Meat-Up in Memphis. We are rescheduling for March 18-20, 2022. More details and re-booking info coming soon! For now click here for more info.
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