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Jokes!

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  • ofelles
    replied
    The other night I was invited out for a night with the “girls.” I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, “I promise!” Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times.
    Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. (Even when totally smashed… 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos = MIDNIGHT !)
    The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, I told him “MIDNIGHT”… he didn’t seem pissed off in the least. Whew, I got away with that one! Then he said “We need a new cuckoo clock.” When I asked him why, he said, “Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said “oh shit” Cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.

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  • ofelles
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  • Mr. Bones
    commented on 's reply
    Next up: Soylent Green LOL

  • wu7y
    commented on 's reply
    Accurate "future forecasting" has been around for quite awhile. IIRC Dick Tracy had a wrist radio in the 50's and probably earlier than that. I can recall a little bit of the 40's but I couldn't read yet.

    Jules Verne and the Greeks were doing it even earlier than that.
    Last edited by wu7y; Today, 11:54 AM.

  • Donw
    commented on 's reply
    Old things forecasting the future. Anyone remember the 60’s movie, “The President’s Analyst” starring James Coburn? In it the TPC, which later is revealed to stand for the “The Phone Company” had developed a Cerebrum Communicator which they wanted to have implanted in everyone’s brain so we could make calls. Who knew then that both the above comic strip and the movie would be so spot on. Only change I see is that they skipped the implant as most are happy to carry it in their pockets.

  • gcdmd
    commented on 's reply
    Mr. Bones
    It's called entitlement.

  • Mr. Bones
    commented on 's reply
    mn[]'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''ol<<< Smokey on keyboard, jus sayin Howdy, yall!

    "Th Telephone Prophecy..."

    Egads!!!!

  • Mosca
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  • JCBBQ
    replied
    Perhaps you didn’t realize that we’re living the dream.

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  • Mr. Bones
    commented on 's reply
    I always try to cook at least 1 Pair, if not 2...saves on charcoal, hickory, etc...cooker's already burnin, ready, an able...

    Hail, yall can git a pair done on a Smokey Joe...

    This is why I can still sport me a pair of 2nd hand Tony Llamas from th latter '70's!!!
    Last edited by Mr. Bones; Yesterday, 05:36 PM.

  • Mr. Bones
    commented on 's reply
    An none they Beemers has no turn ***kin kinda turn signals, neither, ah've found LOL
    Last edited by Mr. Bones; Yesterday, 07:04 PM. Reason: da

  • Foehn Watts
    commented on 's reply
    Done!

  • Foehn Watts
    commented on 's reply
    HawkerXP -- :-P '''

  • johnsteen
    replied

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  • ComfortablyNumb
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