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    I hope no one finds this divisive.

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    • Huskee
      Huskee commented
      Editing a comment
      Putting one class of numbers permanently beneath another is a problem plaguing math these days. So outdated.

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      • Mr. Bones
        Mr. Bones commented
        Editing a comment
        Priceless!!!

      For his 40th birthday, a guy decided to go visit his teenage buddy Bob who had become a scuba instructor in Hawaii. His first day there Bob invited him to ride along when the class went out that day, promising he'd have a great time. Awesome, he thought, so off they went.

      The class is taking their first solo swims that day, suddenly one of them pops to the surface, his suit somewhat inflated. Bob roars with laughter as another pops up, then another.

      Through his tears Bob says, "Works every time!" He asks Bob, "What's going on? "

      Bob says, "Near the end of class I invite them all over to my place for a party. I make a big pot of chili and break out my special homebrew. The next day I watch them pop to the surface, one by one!

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      • ComfortablyNumb
        ComfortablyNumb commented
        Editing a comment
        I hate to say this, but the wetsuits aren't the only thing that stinks.

      I have heard some other "number" jokes, but this one was new to me:

      Q. Why is six afraid of seven?

      A. Because seven is a registered six offender.
      Last edited by Foehn Watts; May 6, 2021, 04:05 PM.

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        Q. What is green and goes camping?

        A. A brussel scout.

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        • ComfortablyNumb
          ComfortablyNumb commented
          Editing a comment
          What's yellow and walks through walls?

          Casper the friendly banana.

        • Foehn Watts
          Foehn Watts commented
          Editing a comment
          ComfortablyNumb - I like dat one!

        • gcdmd
          gcdmd commented
          Editing a comment
          What's invisible and smells like bananas?

          Monkey flatus.

        During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question:

        "Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?

        " Michael said, "Just a minute I have to go pee." The teacher responded by saying, "That would be rude and impolite.

        What about you Sherman, how would you say it?"
        Sherman said, "I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back."

        "That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table.

        And you, little Edward, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?"

        "I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, who I hope to introduce you to after dinner."

        The teacher fainted ...

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          I am glad it's Thursday (AKA Oldie Alert):

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          • RustyHaines
            RustyHaines commented
            Editing a comment
            Me too but I really like it

          • glitchy
            glitchy commented
            Editing a comment
            Seems a little redundant.

          • Mark V
            Mark V commented
            Editing a comment
            I thought Radar already knew what you were doing, he didn't have to check.

          A farmer was having trouble telling his two horses apart. He told his neighbor, who suggested shaving the mane off one horse.
          The farmer did, but it soon grew back.

          He told his neighbor, who this time suggested he nick one ear on a horse. The farmer did, but the other horse ran into a thorny bush and nicked his ear, also.

          The neighbor then suggested that he should measure the horses, as one might be taller than the other.

          The farmer did and it worked!!

          He ran down the road yelling to his neighbor "The gray one is an inch taller than the white one."
          Last edited by Clark; May 7, 2021, 06:23 AM.

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          • willxfmr
            willxfmr commented
            Editing a comment
            So I'm sitting here wondering why the one inch height difference is funny. Then I realized, again, that I really am just the hind end of the horses less intelligent cousin.

          • gcdmd
            gcdmd commented
            Editing a comment
            Was the farmer from Oklahoma?

            In Texas that would be an Aggie joke.

          • Oak Smoke
            Oak Smoke commented
            Editing a comment
            I'm surrounded by aggies! I once ask if they had heard about the skeleton found on the water tower at A&M. Turned out to be the world champion hide and seek player from 1924. They may be smart, but they don't have great senses of humor.

          A man orders soup at a restaurant. The waiter brings the soup. The waiter has his thumb in the soup. The man asks "why is your thumb in my soup?" "I sprained it and the doctor said to keep it warm." "Well, you could have stuck it up your bum." "That didn't work, I tried it before I put it in the soup."

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          • surfdog
            surfdog commented
            Editing a comment
            That’s terrible...and I laughed WAY too hard at that.

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          • RichieB
            RichieB commented
            Editing a comment
            Love the last one. I would share it with friends on other social media platforms that my wife is part of. It would have to be a death wish to do so. I'm not ready.

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          • 58limited
            58limited commented
            Editing a comment
            I know that Japanese wagyu fed on olive pulp is the rarest, finest available. Can you imagine wagyu fed on this?

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          • SheilaAnn
            SheilaAnn commented
            Editing a comment
            https://youtu.be/aLkTuWdKrqY

          • Mark V
            Mark V commented
            Editing a comment
            I was at a restaurant that stopped the buffet because of this.

          • Bogy
            Bogy commented
            Editing a comment
            Stereotyping. When I was 18 I weighed 145 lbs, 6'5" tall. I'd go back to the buffet 3, 4, 5 times. At least. I embarrassed my parents. My sister, who has battled being fat all her life would go once. Now that I'm 67 my appetite isn't what it used to be. Also, my self control is better than it used to be. Went to a Chinese Buffet Thursday night and just had 2 (very full) plates. Could have gone back a few more times, but we got out of there before I weakened.

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          • Panhead John
            Panhead John commented
            Editing a comment
            Cancun has nothing on the beaches of New Mexico.

          • ofelles
            ofelles commented
            Editing a comment
            You must be smoking again Panhead John?

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