Welcome!


This is a membership forum. As a guest, you can click around a bit. View 5 pages for free. If you would like to participate, please join.

[ Pitmaster Club Information | Join Now | Login | Contact Us ]

There are 4 page views remaining.

Announcement

Collapse

2021 Meat-Up In Memphis Canceled - Rescheduled for March 2022

We've unfortunately had to cancel the 2021 Meat-Up in Memphis. We are rescheduling for March 18-20, 2022. More details and re-booking info coming soon! For now click here for more info.
See more
See less

Jokes!

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
  • SheilaAnn
    Club Member
    • May 2020
    • 564
    • Long Beach, CA

    Click image for larger version

Name:	86E2DEE7-74DE-4D82-8C01-AEC9C61FB3DB.jpeg
Views:	504
Size:	298.1 KB
ID:	1019323

    Comment


    • ecowper
      ecowper commented
      Editing a comment
      OMG that was .... well it has all the elements for sure. GROAN
  • PBCDad
    Club Member
    • Jan 2016
    • 412
    • Seattle area
    • Pit Barrel Cooker - 2015
      22" Kettle + SnS - 2016
      Thermapen - 2016
      Jambo 24x48 offset smoker (Big Tex) - 2017
      Camp Chef Denali griddle - 2018
      Billows and Signals - 2020

    How do boomers change a lightbulb? They dont, they just keep talking about how great the old one was

    Comment


    • Foehn Watts
      Foehn Watts commented
      Editing a comment
      Yearhhh ComfortablyNumb dem incandescent bulbs were absolutely incandescent!

    • Bogy
      Bogy commented
      Editing a comment
      Why change a lightbulb? I love the LED bulbs. If the advertising is correct I'll die before they need to be changed.

    • Santamarina
      Santamarina commented
      Editing a comment
      Bogy I’m only 45, but I’m pretty sure we have a few new LEDs that, based on usage, will outlive me!
  • Mosca
    Charter Member
    • Oct 2014
    • 3836
    • PA
    • Large Big Green Egg, Weber Performer Deluxe, Weber Smokey Joe Silver, Maverick 732, DigiQ, and too much other stuff to mention.

    Click image for larger version

Name:	FB_IMG_1618862331353.jpg
Views:	254
Size:	65.6 KB
ID:	1020000

    Comment


    • Mr. Bones
      Mr. Bones commented
      Editing a comment
      Still see a scant few Crown Vics in Service, here... Mostly, nowadays, Ford Explorers, startin to see a changeover to Chebbies SUVs

    • Santamarina
      Santamarina commented
      Editing a comment
      Here, in Southern California, you never see Crown Vics anymore. Police, Sheriff, and Highway Patrol all use Ford Explorer SUVs, some of the city guys use Dodge Chargers.

    • Bogy
      Bogy commented
      Editing a comment
      Most of the police vehicles here in Iowa are Ford Explorers, but there are the occasional F150s, and the Highway Patrol gets trickier. Especially when it comes to their unmarked vehicles. They'll use pickups and older model cars. They also use Chargers and Mustangs for pursuit vehicles. They get called in when some yahoo on a motorcycle or Ferrari, or in their own Charger or Mustang, decides to see how fast it will go. Personally, 100-110 is fast enough for me, but I hear some people go faster.
  • Mosca
    Charter Member
    • Oct 2014
    • 3836
    • PA
    • Large Big Green Egg, Weber Performer Deluxe, Weber Smokey Joe Silver, Maverick 732, DigiQ, and too much other stuff to mention.

    Kinda nowhere else to share this one.

    Click image for larger version

Name:	FB_IMG_1618862065934.jpg
Views:	256
Size:	68.8 KB
ID:	1020002

    Comment


    • RonB
      RonB commented
      Editing a comment
      Sorry Mosca - I don't see this as funny 'xactly, but it is neat...

      Mr. Bones

    • Mosca
      Mosca commented
      Editing a comment
      Kinda nowhere else to put it.

    • willxfmr
      willxfmr commented
      Editing a comment
      I think I follow this lady on Reddit.
  • Clark
    Club Member
    • Mar 2020
    • 295
    • Broken Arrow, OK.

    A Hollywood film crew was on location in the desert. One day an old Indian came up to the director and said "tomorrow...rain." The next day it did rain.
    Two days later the Indian came up to the director and said "tomorrow....hailstorm." Sure enough, it hailed the next day.
    The director hired the Indian and paid him a months' salary upfront. Then the Indian didn't show up for two weeks.
    When he finally came around, the director told him "tomorrow we are shooting a big scene. I'm depending on you. What is the weather going to be?"
    The Indian replied "don't know....radio broken."

    Comment

    • RonB
      Club Member
      • Apr 2016
      • 13673
      • Near Richmond VA
      • Weber Performer Deluxe
        SNS
        Pizza insert
        Rotisserie
        Smokenator 1000
        Cookshack Smokette Elite
        2 Thermapens
        Chefalarm
        Dot
        lots of probes.
        CyberQ

      Medical experts in Washington DC today were asked if it is time to ease the COVID lockdowns.



      Allergists were in favor of scratching it, but Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.

      Gastroenterologists had a sort of a gut feeling about it, but Neurologists thought the government had a lot of nerve.

      Obstetricians felt certain everyone was laboring under a misconception, Ophthalmologists considered the idea short-sighted.

      Many Pathologists yelled, “Over my dead body!” while Pediatricians said, “Oh, grow up!

      Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while Radiologists could see right through it.

      Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing and Pharmacists claimed it would be a bitter pill to swallow.

      Plastic Surgeons opined that this proposal would “put a whole new face on the matter.”

      Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but Urologists were pissed off by the whole idea.

      Anesthetists thought the whole idea was a gas, and Cardiologists didn’t have the heart to say no.

      In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the a$$holes in politics.

      Comment

      • coolfins
        Charter Member
        • Dec 2014
        • 55
        • Niagara region Ontario Canada
        • GMG Jim Bowie, Amazn tube smoker, grill grates, frog mats, Bizerba slicer

        Sadly, not a joke. Yesterday on the news it was reported that there was a nationwide outage of a major cellular network, which my wife uses. When she returned home from work, I asked her if her phone had gone out. She gave me a disgusted look and replied, quite sarcastically " You know my phone wasn't working, I texted you and told you so". I often wonder exactly what it was she learned at university, and yes, she is blonde

        Comment


        • SheilaAnn
          SheilaAnn commented
          Editing a comment
          Oh dang.....

        • JimLinebarger
          JimLinebarger commented
          Editing a comment
          What color is her phone? Which side of her mouth was her tongue on when she texted? Did she mouth the words she was texting? Was she standing on her left leg or her right? Need proper troubleshooting procedures to figure this out. As in "Little Big League", "What color paint?"

        • gcdmd
          gcdmd commented
          Editing a comment
          My wife is also a blonde, but I don't think I'll be sharing this one.

          Then there was the guy who gave his blonde wife her first cell phone before leaving for work one morning. He called her later in the day to see if it was working. She answered that it was but then asked how he knew she was at Wal-Mart.
      • smokenoob
        Club Member
        • Dec 2017
        • 1164
        • Gulf Breeze, Florida

        Wait, I don’t get it.

        Comment


        • HawkerXP
          HawkerXP commented
          Editing a comment
          I'll text you the punch line....

        • gcdmd
          gcdmd commented
          Editing a comment
          smokenoob
          Are you wearing that hat to conceal your hair color, by any chance?
          Last edited by gcdmd; April 21, 2021, 03:30 PM.

        • smokenoob
          smokenoob commented
          Editing a comment
          busted by gcdmd
      • Clark
        Club Member
        • Mar 2020
        • 295
        • Broken Arrow, OK.

        Cycles of Life:

        At age 5 Success is not peeing in your pants

        At age 10 Success is having first friends

        At age 16 Success is getting your driver's license

        At age 20 Success is having sex

        At age 30-55 Success is have lots of money

        At age 60-65 Success is having sex

        At age 75 Success is keeping your driver's license

        At age 80 Success is still having friends

        At age 85 Success is not peeing in your pants

        At age 90 Buried face down with butt used as bicycle rack

        Comment

        • Foehn Watts
          Club Member
          • Apr 2019
          • 349
          • Just about anything with smoke and/or grilled is better.

          What's the difference between a cat and a frog?

          A cat has nine lives but a frog croaks every night.

          Comment


          • HawkerXP
            HawkerXP commented
            Editing a comment
            awwwwwwe.
        • coolfins
          Charter Member
          • Dec 2014
          • 55
          • Niagara region Ontario Canada
          • GMG Jim Bowie, Amazn tube smoker, grill grates, frog mats, Bizerba slicer

          What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?
          The porcupine has the pricks on the outside

          Comment


          • glitchy
            glitchy commented
            Editing a comment
            What’s the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?

            The location of the dirt bag.

          • Panhead John
            Panhead John commented
            Editing a comment
            Mr. Bones Care to join me in a reply? 😉

          • Mr. Bones
            Mr. Bones commented
            Editing a comment
            1>Not a whole lot; they both make a whole lotta noise, an suck.
            2>A Hoover don't leak 50w oil on yer livin room carpet.
            3>It's a whole bunch easier to push a Hoover.
            4>More females gits excited watchin a man operate a Hoover than a Harley...
            How' my doin, so far? Panhead John
            Last edited by Mr. Bones; April 23, 2021, 07:18 PM. Reason: Bought me a consonant fer 4> :o
        • coolfins
          Charter Member
          • Dec 2014
          • 55
          • Niagara region Ontario Canada
          • GMG Jim Bowie, Amazn tube smoker, grill grates, frog mats, Bizerba slicer

          So there!
          Attached Files

          Comment


          • HawkerXP
            HawkerXP commented
            Editing a comment
            Like I've always said. "Best part of quitting smoking is the buzz you get when starting again!"
        • ecowper
          Founding Member
          • Jul 2014
          • 3707
          • Maple Valley, WA
          • Grill = Hasty-Bake Gourmet Dual Finish
            Smoke = Weber Smokey Mountain 22.5"

            Thermometer = FireBoard FBX11 with 2 ambient and 6 meat probes
            Thermometer = Maverick ET732
            Thermometer = ThermoWorks Chef Alarm
            Thermapen Mk IV = Light blue
            Thermapen Classic = Grey
            PID Controller = Fireboard Drive + Auber 20 CFM Fan

            Favorite cook = Tri-Tip for the grill, whole packer brisket for the smoker
            Favorite wine = a good Bordeaux with steak, a good Syrah with pork, or a nice bottle of Champagne or California sparkling wine
            Favorite beer = Sam Adams Boston Lager or Shiner Bock
            Favorite whisky = Lagavulin 16 year old single malt

            Best Cookbooks - Meathead's "The Science of Great Barbecue and Grilling", Chris Lilly's "Big Bob Gibson's BBQ Book", Aaron Franklin's "Franklin BBQ"


            Eric Cowperthwaite aka ecowper

          truth

          Click image for larger version

Name:	image_142523.jpg
Views:	148
Size:	47.7 KB
ID:	1021270

          Comment

          • Panhead John
            Club Member
            • Aug 2020
            • 1340
            • Houston, Texas
            • Weber 22” Master Touch Kettle, added a side shelf
              Weber 14” Smokey Mountain Smoker
              SnS For the Kettle
              Set of Grill Grates
              Thermo Pro Remote Dual Probe Thermometer
              Rotisserie For The Kettle
              J. A. Henckels Knives
              Work Sharp E-5 Electric Knife Sharpener
              Char-Broil Instant Read Meat Thermometer

            Click image for larger version

Name:	08553ACB-B55F-42E6-B438-9696DC8C098C.jpeg
Views:	137
Size:	37.6 KB
ID:	1021306Click image for larger version

Name:	4A3D0E59-D90F-4CE6-9E14-0850B3255E2D.jpeg
Views:	129
Size:	13.9 KB
ID:	1021307Click image for larger version

Name:	B2BAC3CB-2F3C-41B5-AE29-05FCAF25C464.jpeg
Views:	128
Size:	471.9 KB
ID:	1021308

            Comment


            • PBCDad
              PBCDad commented
              Editing a comment
              There's a store by the freeway with a big neon sign saying "CARPET LIQUEDATORS" and it usually has at least one letter out. One time when I drove by I really should have pulled over somewhere to get a picture because the sign just said, "PET LIQUEDATORS"
          • ecowper
            Founding Member
            • Jul 2014
            • 3707
            • Maple Valley, WA
            • Grill = Hasty-Bake Gourmet Dual Finish
              Smoke = Weber Smokey Mountain 22.5"

              Thermometer = FireBoard FBX11 with 2 ambient and 6 meat probes
              Thermometer = Maverick ET732
              Thermometer = ThermoWorks Chef Alarm
              Thermapen Mk IV = Light blue
              Thermapen Classic = Grey
              PID Controller = Fireboard Drive + Auber 20 CFM Fan

              Favorite cook = Tri-Tip for the grill, whole packer brisket for the smoker
              Favorite wine = a good Bordeaux with steak, a good Syrah with pork, or a nice bottle of Champagne or California sparkling wine
              Favorite beer = Sam Adams Boston Lager or Shiner Bock
              Favorite whisky = Lagavulin 16 year old single malt

              Best Cookbooks - Meathead's "The Science of Great Barbecue and Grilling", Chris Lilly's "Big Bob Gibson's BBQ Book", Aaron Franklin's "Franklin BBQ"


              Eric Cowperthwaite aka ecowper

            Panhead John admit it, you tried this

            Click image for larger version

Name:	176738362_5691636320877734_6831257329686355860_n.jpg
Views:	151
Size:	49.1 KB
ID:	1021310

            Comment


            • Foehn Watts
              Foehn Watts commented
              Editing a comment
              Hmmm, delicate mouthfeel when inhaled, with a distinct aftertaste of noxious flatulence.

            • Panhead John
              Panhead John commented
              Editing a comment
              ecowper I hate broccoli. I normally roll asparagus.

          Announcement

          Collapse

          2021 Meat-Up In Memphis Canceled - Rescheduled for March 2022

          We've unfortunately had to cancel the 2021 Meat-Up in Memphis. We are rescheduling for March 18-20, 2022. More details and re-booking info coming soon! For now click here for more info.
          See more
          See less
          Working...
          X
          false
          0
          Guest
          500
          ["pitmaster-my-membership","login","join-pitmaster","lostpw","reset-password","special-offers","help","nojs","meat-ups","gifts","authaau-alpha","ebooklogin-start","alpha","start"]
          false
          false
          {"count":0,"link":"/forum/announcements/","debug":""}
          Meat-Up in Memphis