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2021 Meat-Up In Memphis Canceled - Rescheduled for March 2022

We've unfortunately had to cancel the 2021 Meat-Up in Memphis. We are rescheduling for March 18-20, 2022. More details and re-booking info coming soon! For now click here for more info.
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  • Foehn Watts
    Club Member
    • Apr 2019
    • 340
    • Just about anything with smoke and/or grilled is better.

    It was a hot summer day, and the old courthouse was just as hot. The air was thick and humid, and the jury was having a hard time staying focused. One of the jurors succumbed to the heat, falling asleep just as the victim was being questioned by the prosecutor.

    "The defendant is accused of making obscene phone calls to your home. Would you please tell the jury precisely what the defendant said when he called you," asked the prosecutor.

    "I can't do that," the victim replied. "It was so crude and disgusting. I can't use language like that."

    "Would it help to just write it down?"

    The victim wrote out every detail of what the obscene caller had said, and passed the note to the judge. The judge read the note. It was then passed to the prosecutor, the defense attorney, and finally to the jury.

    The sleeping juror was seated at the back corner of the jury box, and was the last to receive the note. He was awoken with a nudge from an attractive young juror, seated next to him, and she passed him the note. He read it, gazed in awe at the woman, and read it again. He turned to her, smiling broadly, and winked. He then put the note into his pocket.

    The judge demanded, "Please pass that note to the bailiff."

    "But your honor," the juror protested, "It's a private matter."

    Comment

    • RonB
      Club Member
      • Apr 2016
      • 13641
      • Near Richmond VA
      • Weber Performer Deluxe
        SNS
        Pizza insert
        Rotisserie
        Smokenator 1000
        Cookshack Smokette Elite
        2 Thermapens
        Chefalarm
        Dot
        lots of probes.
        CyberQ

      My wife and I were out to dinner and the waitress started flirting with me.



      “She obviously has COVID,” my wife said.

      “Why?” I asked.

      My wife replied with a sneer, “Because she has no taste.”

      Comment


      • gcdmd
        gcdmd commented
        Editing a comment
        What's the wife's excuse?

      • ComfortablyNumb
        ComfortablyNumb commented
        Editing a comment
        gcdmd Ronb’s wife is legally blind.

      • Panhead John
        Panhead John commented
        Editing a comment
        And has anosmia.
    • Clark
      Club Member
      • Mar 2020
      • 284
      • Broken Arrow, OK.

      We were in Walmart this morning and two blind men were squaring off to fight over some dispute.
      I yelled "my money's on the one with the knife!"
      You should have see how fast those guys ran.

      Comment


      • Mark V
        Mark V commented
        Editing a comment
        The local Walmart here is boarded up, Minneapolis. Thought I was far enough away from
        the activities to not worry too much.
    • Clark
      Club Member
      • Mar 2020
      • 284
      • Broken Arrow, OK.

      A girl comes home from school and tells her mom "I got a gold star today because I recited the whole alphabet. The others only knew 4-5 letters."
      Mom said "that's because you're a blonde."

      The next day the girl comes home and says "I counted all the way up to 20 today. Everybody just got to 7 or 8."
      Mom said "that's because you're a blonde."

      The next day the girl comes home and says "We measured our chests today and mine was the biggest in the class! Is that because I'm a blonde?"
      Mom said "no, that's because you're 18."

      Comment


      • Bogy
        Bogy commented
        Editing a comment
        Ya know, da same ting happened to Little Ole ven he vas in da first grade, except he had da biggest feet!

      • Mr. Bones
        Mr. Bones commented
        Editing a comment
        I might notta been th most Popular kid in my 6th Grade class, but I was th onliest one could buy alcohol, an had me a Driver's License! Bogy
    • Clark
      Club Member
      • Mar 2020
      • 284
      • Broken Arrow, OK.

      A guy is in Spain and goes to his first bullfight. Afterwards, he has dinner across the street and orders Mountain Oysters. The platter is huge, the food delicious, and he really enjoyed his meal.

      The next night he went back to the same place and ordered the same thing. This time, the meal was on a saucer and wasn't much more than an appetizer.

      He called the waiter over and asked why it was different tonight.

      The waiter replied "Sometimes, El Toro wins."

      Comment

      • ofelles
        Club Member
        • Jun 2018
        • 2631
        • Brentwood CA
        • LSG large insulated cabinet
          Yoder YS640
          David Klose 20x42 Grill Chef Grill
          Weber Jumbo Joe
          FireBoard controller and PitBull fan
          Thermapen Mk4


        Comment

        • ofelles
          Club Member
          • Jun 2018
          • 2631
          • Brentwood CA
          • LSG large insulated cabinet
            Yoder YS640
            David Klose 20x42 Grill Chef Grill
            Weber Jumbo Joe
            FireBoard controller and PitBull fan
            Thermapen Mk4


          Comment

          • Clark
            Club Member
            • Mar 2020
            • 284
            • Broken Arrow, OK.

            My wife got stung by a bee on her forehead. She is in the ER now, with her face all red, swollen, and bruised. She almost died.

            Luckily, I was close enough to her to hit that darn bee with my shovel.

            Comment


            • SheilaAnn
              SheilaAnn commented
              Editing a comment
              Dude *snort*
          • ofelles
            Club Member
            • Jun 2018
            • 2631
            • Brentwood CA
            • LSG large insulated cabinet
              Yoder YS640
              David Klose 20x42 Grill Chef Grill
              Weber Jumbo Joe
              FireBoard controller and PitBull fan
              Thermapen Mk4

            Not sure what happened. Try this.
            Click image for larger version

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            Last edited by ofelles; April 16, 2021, 05:08 PM.

            Comment


            • Bogy
              Bogy commented
              Editing a comment
              My wife really relates to the mom to married daughter. Several times a day.

            • Bogy
              Bogy commented
              Editing a comment
              Probably should mention, it's the daughter to the mother. And daughter in law to the mother in law. She's the go to person whenever someone has a problem. Sometimes I've got to hide her phone so she can solve my problems.
          • Bogy
            Club Member
            • Mar 2016
            • 638
            • North Central Iowa
            • Blaz'n Grill Works Grid Iron
              Weber Genesis E-310
              Original Grilla
              Smokey Joe® Charcoal Grill 14"
              Thermoworks ThermoPop
              Thermoworks Thermapen Mk4
              Thermoworks Smoke Thermometer with gateway
              2 iGrillminis - from before they were Weber.

            @ofelles are you sure you want to post something that controversial!

            Comment


            • ofelles
              ofelles commented
              Editing a comment
              try it now.

            • Bogy
              Bogy commented
              Editing a comment
              Now I see it!
              Last edited by Bogy; April 16, 2021, 08:18 PM.
          • MBMorgan
            Club Member
            • Sep 2015
            • 6560
            • Colorado
            • > Weber Genesis EP-330
              > Grilla Grills Original Grilla (OG) pellet smoker
              > Pit Barrel Cooker (gone to a new home)
              > WeberQ 2000 (on "loan" to a relative)
              > Old Smokey Electric (for chickens mostly - when it's too nasty out
              to fiddle with a more capable cooker)
              > Luhr Jensen Little Chief Electric - Top Loader circa 1990 (smoked fish & jerky)
              > Thermoworks Smoke
              > 3 Thermoworks Chef Alarms
              > Thermoworks Thermapen
              > Thermoworks IR-GUN-S
              > Anova sous vide circulator
              > Searzall torch
              > BBQ Guru Rib Ring

            Originally posted by Bogy View Post
            @ofelles are you sure you want to post something that controversial!
            Hmmmm ... the opposite of nothing is ... EVERYTHING. Oh wow, man ... ...

            Comment

            • coolfins
              Charter Member
              • Dec 2014
              • 54
              • Niagara region Ontario Canada
              • GMG Jim Bowie, Amazn tube smoker, grill grates, frog mats, Bizerba slicer

              My first girlfriend was a pretty little thing, but had a terrible stutter. Before she could say she wasn't that kind of a girl, she was.
              I said " OMG, if I'd have known you were a virgin, I'd have taken my time". She replied " I-i-i-i-if I'd na-na-na-known you wa-wa-wa-wa-were in sa-sa-sa-such a hu-hu-hurry, I'd ha-ha-ha-have taken my pa-pa-pa-panty hose off"

              Comment

              • holehogg
                Club Member
                • Nov 2017
                • 2580
                • Port Elizabeth, South Africa

                Click image for larger version

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                Comment

                • Panhead John
                  Club Member
                  • Aug 2020
                  • 1297
                  • Houston, Texas
                  • Weber 22” Master Touch Kettle, added a side shelf
                    Weber 14” Smokey Mountain Smoker
                    SnS For the Kettle
                    Set of Grill Grates
                    Thermo Pro Remote Dual Probe Thermometer
                    Rotisserie For The Kettle
                    J. A. Henckels Knives
                    Work Sharp E-5 Electric Knife Sharpener
                    Char-Broil Instant Read Meat Thermometer

                  Click image for larger version

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Views:	188
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ID:	1019070

                  Comment


                  • willxfmr
                    willxfmr commented
                    Editing a comment
                    I believe that is called Tuesday in Mississippi.
                • Foehn Watts
                  Club Member
                  • Apr 2019
                  • 340
                  • Just about anything with smoke and/or grilled is better.

                  Tarzan had been living alone in his jungle kingdom for 25 years with only suitably shaped holes in trees for his animal drives.

                  Jane, a reporter, came to Africa in search of this legendary figure.

                  One day, deep in the wilds, she came to a clearing and discovered Tarzan having his way with a jungle oak. She watched in awe for awhile.

                  Finally, overcome by this display of animal passion, Jane came out in to the open and offered herself to him.

                  As she reclined on the wild grass, Tarzan became aroused. He quickly ran over and kicked her in the crotch really hard.

                  In pain, she screamed, "What the hell did you do that for?".

                  Tarzan replied, "Tarzan always check for squirrels first."

                  Comment

                  Announcement

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                  2021 Meat-Up In Memphis Canceled - Rescheduled for March 2022

                  We've unfortunately had to cancel the 2021 Meat-Up in Memphis. We are rescheduling for March 18-20, 2022. More details and re-booking info coming soon! For now click here for more info.
                  See more
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