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2021 Meat-Up In Memphis Canceled - Rescheduled for March 2022

We've unfortunately had to cancel the 2021 Meat-Up in Memphis. We are rescheduling for March 18-20, 2022. More details and re-booking info coming soon! For now click here for more info.
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  • coolfins
    Charter Member
    • Dec 2014
    • 54
    • Niagara region Ontario Canada
    • GMG Jim Bowie, Amazn tube smoker, grill grates, frog mats, Bizerba slicer

    So, these three guys go fishing for the first time in their lives, none of them can swim. One guy stands up in the boat and falls overboard. The other two are horrified, " What are we going to do, we can't swim! Let's drag the anchor and see if we can hook him" Sure enough they hook him and pull him into the boat. One guy starts giving him mouth to mouth and says " I don't remember his breath being this bad" and his buddy says " I don't remember him wearing a snowmobile suit either"

    Comment


    • SheilaAnn
      SheilaAnn commented
      Editing a comment
      *twirling my blonde hair.....

      what?

    • Foehn Watts
      Foehn Watts commented
      Editing a comment
      @SheilaAnn.
      You naughty girl. . . ! ;-)
  • RonB
    Club Member
    • Apr 2016
    • 13648
    • Near Richmond VA
    • Weber Performer Deluxe
      SNS
      Pizza insert
      Rotisserie
      Smokenator 1000
      Cookshack Smokette Elite
      2 Thermapens
      Chefalarm
      Dot
      lots of probes.
      CyberQ

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    Comment


    • Stuey1515
      Stuey1515 commented
      Editing a comment
      Just because you can, doesn't always mean you should haha

    • Mr. Bones
      Mr. Bones commented
      Editing a comment
      Reckon if'n that there's alla th parts what was salvageable from th Great Muffakin Trainwreck that 2020 turned out to be, wail, then So Be It...

    • glitchy
      glitchy commented
      Editing a comment
      But the front and rear wheels match?
  • SheilaAnn
    Club Member
    • May 2020
    • 559
    • Long Beach, CA

    Stuey1515 What you said! What was once seen cannot be unseen!

    Comment

    • ofelles
      Club Member
      • Jun 2018
      • 2634
      • Brentwood CA
      • LSG large insulated cabinet
        Yoder YS640
        David Klose 20x42 Grill Chef Grill
        Weber Jumbo Joe
        FireBoard controller and PitBull fan
        Thermapen Mk4

      1. Dad, are we pyromaniacs? Yes, we arson.

      2. What do you call a pig with laryngitis? Disgruntled.

      3. Writing my name in cursive is my signature move.

      4. Why do bees stay in their hives during winter? Swarm.

      5. If you’re bad at haggling, you’ll end up paying the price.

      6. Just so everyone’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on

      7. A commander walks into a bar and orders everyone around.

      8. I lost my job as a stage designer. I left without making a scene.

      9. Never buy flowers from a monk. Only you can prevent florist friars.

      10. How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced? A buccaneer.

      11. I once worked at a cheap pizza shop to get by. I kneaded the dough.

      12. My friends and I have named our band ‘Duvet’. It’s a cover band.

      13. I lost my girlfriend’s audiobook, and now I’ll never hear the end of it.

      14. Why is ‘dark’ spelled with a k and not c? Because you can’t see in the dark.

      15. Why is it unwise to share your secrets with a clock? Well, time will tell.

      16. When I told my contractor I didn’t want carpeted steps, they gave me a blank stare.

      17A. Bono and The Edge walk into a Dublin bar and the bartender says, “Oh no, not U2 again.”

      17 B. Two men walked into a bar. You’d think that the second one would have ducked

      18. Prison is just one word to you, but for some people, it’s a whole sentence.

      19. Scientists got together to study the effects of alcohol on a person’s walk, and the result was staggering.

      20. I’m trying to organize a hide and seek tournament, but good players are really hard to find.

      21. I got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows, and nuts. I won’t lie, it was a rocky road.

      22. What do you say to comfort a friend who’s struggling with grammar? There, their, they’re.

      23. I went to the toy store and asked the assistant where the Schwarznegger dolls are and he replied, “Aisle B, back.”

      24. What did the surgeon say to the patient who insisted on closing up their own incision? Suture self.

      25. I’ve started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes. It’s all about raisin awareness.

      Comment


      • Wedunne
        Wedunne commented
        Editing a comment
        You made my wife groan when I read them, so mission accomplished!

      • ofelles
        ofelles commented
        Editing a comment
        Wedunne mission accomplished!

      • JimLinebarger
        JimLinebarger commented
        Editing a comment
        I like #9.
    • ecowper
      Founding Member
      • Jul 2014
      • 3697
      • Maple Valley, WA
      • Grill = Hasty-Bake Gourmet Dual Finish
        Smoke = Weber Smokey Mountain 22.5"

        Thermometer = FireBoard FBX11 with 2 ambient and 6 meat probes
        Thermometer = Maverick ET732
        Thermometer = ThermoWorks Chef Alarm
        Thermapen Mk IV = Light blue
        Thermapen Classic = Grey
        PID Controller = Fireboard Drive + Auber 20 CFM Fan

        Favorite cook = Tri-Tip for the grill, whole packer brisket for the smoker
        Favorite wine = a good Bordeaux with steak, a good Syrah with pork, or a nice bottle of Champagne or California sparkling wine
        Favorite beer = Sam Adams Boston Lager or Shiner Bock
        Favorite whisky = Lagavulin 16 year old single malt

        Best Cookbooks - Meathead's "The Science of Great Barbecue and Grilling", Chris Lilly's "Big Bob Gibson's BBQ Book", Aaron Franklin's "Franklin BBQ"


        Eric Cowperthwaite aka ecowper

      She's cured!

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      Comment

      • Bighorn Dave
        Club Member
        • Aug 2018
        • 257
        • Nampa, Idaho

        Seems appropriate enough.
        Attached Files

        Comment

      • coolfins
        Charter Member
        • Dec 2014
        • 54
        • Niagara region Ontario Canada
        • GMG Jim Bowie, Amazn tube smoker, grill grates, frog mats, Bizerba slicer

        So, this guy is walking down the beach in California and comes across this old lantern, rubs it and a genie pops out. (I'm guessing you've never heard of that happening). Genie says you have one wish. Guy says " I've always dreamt of going to Hawaii, but I'm terrified of water and flying. I'd like you to build me a bridge" Genie says " Are you kidding me. do you know what that would take? Pick something simpler. OK, I'd like to understand how women think. Genie says "Were you thinking of a two lane or four lane bridge?"

        Comment


        • Santamarina
          Santamarina commented
          Editing a comment
          Don’t try to understand women. Women understand women and they hate each other.
      • RonB
        Club Member
        • Apr 2016
        • 13648
        • Near Richmond VA
        • Weber Performer Deluxe
          SNS
          Pizza insert
          Rotisserie
          Smokenator 1000
          Cookshack Smokette Elite
          2 Thermapens
          Chefalarm
          Dot
          lots of probes.
          CyberQ

        An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time.



        “I have good news and bad news,” the owner replied. “The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings.”

        “That’s wonderful,” the artist exclaimed. “What’s the bad news?”

        “The guy was your doctor…”

        Comment

        • ofelles
          Club Member
          • Jun 2018
          • 2634
          • Brentwood CA
          • LSG large insulated cabinet
            Yoder YS640
            David Klose 20x42 Grill Chef Grill
            Weber Jumbo Joe
            FireBoard controller and PitBull fan
            Thermapen Mk4

          Immutable laws


          1. Law of Mechanical Repair
          After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

          2. Law of Gravity
          Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe.

          3. Law of Probability
          The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

          4. Law of Random Numbers
          If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal; someone always answers.

          5. Variation Law
          If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.

          6. Law of the Bath
          When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring.

          7. Law of Close Encounters
          The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

          8. Law of the Result
          When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, IT WILL!!!

          9. Law of Biomechanics
          The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

          10. Law of the Theaters & Sports Arenas
          At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.

          11. The Coffee Law
          As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

          12. Murphy's Law of Lockers
          If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
          13. Law of Physical Surfaces
          The chance of an open-faced jam sandwich landing face down on a floor is directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

          14. Law of Logical Argument
          Anything is possible IF you don't know what you are talking about.

          15. Law of Physical Appearance
          If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

          16. Law of Public Speaking
          A closed mouth gathers no feet!

          17. Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
          As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it or the store will stop selling it!


          If you don't forward this to your friends, your belly button will unscrew and your butt will fall off. Really... It's true. I read it on the Internet!

          Comment


          • Donw
            Donw commented
            Editing a comment
            SheilaAnn Exactly. This is why when I find something I like I buy several. I’ll never find it again because it will have disappeared off the face of the earth by next week. My wife use to tease me because in my closets are usually 6 of the exact same shirts, 6 of the exact same pants, and boxes of the exact same shoes.

          • glitchy
            glitchy commented
            Editing a comment
            #2 & 17 are frequent battles.

          • Bogy
            Bogy commented
            Editing a comment
            TRUE! Every.Single.One!
        • pkadare
          Club Member
          • Jun 2019
          • 988
          • Bobcaygeon, Ontario
          • My gear:
            22 Weber Kettle
            Napoleon PRO Charcoal Kettle Grill
            Broil King Keg
            Traeger Pro 34
            Napoleon Prestige Pro 500
            Pit Barrel Cooker
            Blackstone Range Combo Griddle

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          Comment


          • willxfmr
            willxfmr commented
            Editing a comment
            Thanos was the hero in the franchise, but it makes people uncomfortable to say it.
        • Foehn Watts
          Club Member
          • Apr 2019
          • 344
          • Just about anything with smoke and/or grilled is better.


          What is the most common pregnancy craving?

          For men to be the ones who get pregnant.


          Comment

          • Foehn Watts
            Club Member
            • Apr 2019
            • 344
            • Just about anything with smoke and/or grilled is better.

            A bus filled with politicians was driving through the countryside one day, on the campaign trail. The bus driver, caught up in the beautiful scenery,loses control and crashes into the ditch. A farmer living nearby hears the horrible crash and rushes out to discover carnage and wreckage. Finding the politicians, he buries them.

            The next day, the police come to the farm to question the man. "So you buried all the politicians?" asked the police officer. "Were they all dead?"

            The farmer answered, "Some said they weren't, but you know how politicians lie."

            Comment

            • Foehn Watts
              Club Member
              • Apr 2019
              • 344
              • Just about anything with smoke and/or grilled is better.

              Ya need to be "of a certain age" for the following joke (--but of course you could look up the stuff on the net). I had to post it because it reminded me of the way I used to torture my boss at the school kitchen: I'd walk in singing "What's New Pussycat"; she'd moan and groan about the rest of the shift about that song running nonstop through her head. It always makes me smile!

              Joke:

              A guy goes to the doctor.

              "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The green, green grass of home.'"

              "That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome."

              "Is it common?"

              "It's not unusual."

              Comment

              • Foehn Watts
                Club Member
                • Apr 2019
                • 344
                • Just about anything with smoke and/or grilled is better.

                A very old man shows up at a house of prostitution.

                The madame greets him. "What can I do for you ?"

                He replies, "I want a WOMAN!" She heads him into a room and tells him to come out to look at the ladies when he is ready to go.

                A few minutes later he totters into the ladies' lounge. He's holding a condom and is bare nekkid, except for ear plugs and nose plugs.

                All the ladies laugh and snicker and one pipes up and says, "C'mon old feller, we know the condom, but what're the ear and noseplugs for?

                He replies, "--Ain't nothing I hate more than the sound of a screamin' woman and the smell of burnin' rubber!"
                Last edited by Foehn Watts; April 7, 2021, 03:11 PM.

                Comment

                • shush
                  Club Member
                  • Sep 2016
                  • 144
                  • Northern Virginia
                  • RecTec RT-680
                    Brinkmann Bullet (Electric)
                    Thermapen
                    Maverick ET-732

                  Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his sheep?

                  A: Where are my sheep?

                  Comment


                  • Panhead John
                    Panhead John commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Stupid but still funny. 😂

                  • RonB
                    RonB commented
                    Editing a comment
                    He must have felt sheepish after saying it...

                  • Clark
                    Clark commented
                    Editing a comment
                    RonB Your joke was really baaad.

                Announcement

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                2021 Meat-Up In Memphis Canceled - Rescheduled for March 2022

                We've unfortunately had to cancel the 2021 Meat-Up in Memphis. We are rescheduling for March 18-20, 2022. More details and re-booking info coming soon! For now click here for more info.
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