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2021 Meat-Up In Memphis Canceled - Rescheduled for March 2022

We've unfortunately had to cancel the 2021 Meat-Up in Memphis. We are rescheduling for March 18-20, 2022. More details and re-booking info coming soon! For now click here for more info.
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Jokes!

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  • Mark V
    Club Member
    • Oct 2018
    • 438
    • Minnesota

    time to split the jokes up like the SUWYC channel? 237 is a lot, you can't browse that to see if your joke has been posted already.

    Comment


    • Bogy
      Bogy commented
      Editing a comment
      Doesn't matter if it's been posted before. Pretty sure I've repeated some of my own jokes, much less something someone else posted. I used to be a member of a club that had a tradition of telling jokes at the end of the meeting. It got to be a tradition that I told an Ole and Lena joke at every meeting. Twice a month. After about 10 years I said it was getting hard to come up with "original" jokes. They said it was OK, they couldn't remember the joke I told 2 weeks ago.

    • Donw
      Donw commented
      Editing a comment
      I would suggest we at least subdivide it into jokes and memes. Searching would be easier.

    • Foehn Watts
      Foehn Watts commented
      Editing a comment
      I am with Bogy. Just post it. If it has been seen recently, someone will yell "Deja Vu" or something like that. If it has not been seen for a while, well, if it was good, it will be good again.

      I guess we could all maybe mark memes with the word meme or maybe meme-meme. If you searched then you would come up with only memes.
      Last edited by Foehn Watts; February 20, 2021, 07:48 PM.
  • Bogy
    Club Member
    • Mar 2016
    • 645
    • North Central Iowa
    • Blaz'n Grill Works Grid Iron
      Weber Genesis E-310
      Original Grilla
      Smokey Joe® Charcoal Grill 14"
      Thermoworks ThermoPop
      Thermoworks Thermapen Mk4
      Thermoworks Smoke Thermometer with gateway
      2 iGrillminis - from before they were Weber.

    One benefit (I hope) of being a pastor, is that when people see me talking to myself, they think, "Isn't it wonderful our pastor is so spiritual, he's always talking to God!"

    Comment


    • Mark V
      Mark V commented
      Editing a comment
      I thank you for ever responding to me. Didn't know I was in such a class!

    • Panhead John
      Panhead John commented
      Editing a comment
      Don’t get the big head Mark V ...Bogy will talk to pretty much anyone.
      Last edited by Panhead John; February 19, 2021, 08:46 PM.

    • Bogy
      Bogy commented
      Editing a comment
      Mark V, it's true, I even talk to Panhead John. I mean, not on a regular basis, but when it's appropriate. Well, semi-appropriate. Yeah, when I can't get out of it!
  • ComfortablyNumb
    Club Member
    • May 2017
    • 3503
    • Northeast Washington
    • KBQ C-60
      PK360
      Thermoworks Smoke
      Thermoworks Thermopop
      Thermoworks Dot

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    Comment


    • SheilaAnn
      SheilaAnn commented
      Editing a comment
      Shut the front door! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • holehogg
      holehogg commented
      Editing a comment
      Needless to say she's going to get a needle anyways.

    • Thunder77
      Thunder77 commented
      Editing a comment
      🤪🤪🤪
  • Hulagn1971
    Charter Member
    • Dec 2014
    • 1077
    • NC, The Triad
    • WSM 22.5", Pitmaster IQ110, Weber 22.5" Kettle with SNS, Weber 14" Smokey Joe.

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    Comment


    • hoovarmin
      hoovarmin commented
      Editing a comment
      Exactly
  • oldsarge84
    Club Member
    • Sep 2018
    • 19
    • West Central Wisconsin

    Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties.

    The first man had married a woman from Iowa, and had told her that she was to do the dishes and keep the house clean.

    It took a couple of days, but on the third day he came home to a clean house and the dishes were washed and put away.

    The second man had married a woman from Minnesota. He had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, wash the dishes, and do the cooking.

    The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, his house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was a big dinner on the table.

    The third man had married a woman from Wisconsin. He told her that her duties were to keep the house clean, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal.

    He said on the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything, but by the third day some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye --- enough to fix himself a bite to eat and load the dishwasher.

    Comment


    • Foehn Watts
      Foehn Watts commented
      Editing a comment
      I be likin' dat Wisconsin woman
  • MTurney
    Former Member
    • Feb 2020
    • 262
    • Grapevine, TX

    ...
    Attached Files

    Comment


    • Donw
      Donw commented
      Editing a comment
      As the late, great,Texan Molly Ivins once wrote:
      “As they say around the Texas Legislature, if you can't drink their whiskey, screw their women, take their money, and vote against 'em anyway, you don't belong in office.”

    • gcdmd
      gcdmd commented
      Editing a comment
      Donw
      She sure is missed.
  • ofelles
    Club Member
    • Jun 2018
    • 2650
    • Brentwood CA
    • LSG large insulated cabinet
      Yoder YS640
      David Klose 20x42 Grill Chef Grill
      Weber Jumbo Joe
      FireBoard controller and PitBull fan
      Thermapen Mk4






    Comment


    • Bogy
      Bogy commented
      Editing a comment
      I think that bottom one is one of the new food items at the Iowa State Fair!

    • gcdmd
      gcdmd commented
      Editing a comment
      Bogy
      It even comes with its own stick.
  • ofelles
    Club Member
    • Jun 2018
    • 2650
    • Brentwood CA
    • LSG large insulated cabinet
      Yoder YS640
      David Klose 20x42 Grill Chef Grill
      Weber Jumbo Joe
      FireBoard controller and PitBull fan
      Thermapen Mk4




    Comment


    • RonB
      RonB commented
      Editing a comment
      It was common practice on my last ship to send new crew members from one department to another for a non-existent tool. The excuse was that the newbies would learn there way around the ship faster.

    • HawkerXP
      HawkerXP commented
      Editing a comment
      "Go to the wash rack and get a bucket of propwash."

    • gcdmd
      gcdmd commented
      Editing a comment
      SheilaAnn
      When I worked in a medical lab during college it was a standard trick to send the newbies down to the supply room for a box of Fallopian Tubes.
      Last edited by gcdmd; February 23, 2021, 11:01 PM.
  • oldsarge84
    Club Member
    • Sep 2018
    • 19
    • West Central Wisconsin

    There is a factory that makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arm.

    Well, Lena was hired at the Tickle Me Elmo factory and reported for her first day promptly at 8:am.

    The next day at 8:45 am there is a knock on the Personnel Managers door. The foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee.

    He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.

    The personnel manager decides he should see this for himself, so the two of them march down to factory floor. When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory and they're really beginning to pile up.

    At the end of the line stands Lena, surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's. She has a roll of plush red fabric and a large bag of small marbels.

    The two men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo's legs.

    The personnel manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Lena.

    "I'm sorry," he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, "but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday."

    "Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles."

    Comment

    • pkadare
      Club Member
      • Jun 2019
      • 997
      • Bobcaygeon, Ontario
      • My gear:
        22 Weber Kettle
        Napoleon PRO Charcoal Kettle Grill
        Broil King Keg
        Traeger Pro 34
        Napoleon Prestige Pro 500
        Pit Barrel Cooker
        Blackstone Range Combo Griddle

      I'm looking for investors and partners for a new business venture. I want to open a restaurant called Peace and Quiet. The hook is that children's meals will start at $250.
      Follow me for more get rich quick ideas.

      Comment


      • Foehn Watts
        Foehn Watts commented
        Editing a comment
        Holy S***! Sad thing is, I live in an area where some parents would pay that for their kids' meals, and then let the little beggars run rampant through the restaurant!
    • frigate
      Club Member
      • Aug 2019
      • 131
      • East Quogue, NY

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      • Panhead John
        Panhead John commented
        Editing a comment
        True dat!

      • jharner
        jharner commented
        Editing a comment
        Street lights ?
    • surfdog
      Club Member
      • Mar 2016
      • 1232
      • Sunny SoCal
      • Cooking gadgets
        Weber Summit Charcoal Grill Center
        Weber Summit Platinum D6
        Blue Rhino Razor
        Dyna-Glo XL Premium Dual Chamber
        Camp Chef Somerset IV along with their Artisan Pizza Oven 90
        Anova WiFi

        Thermometers
        Thermapen Mk4 - ThermaQ High Temp Kit - ThermaQ Meathead Kit - ThermaQ WiFi - ThermoWorks IR-GUN-S - ThermoWorks Signals & Billows - ThermoPop -ThermoWorks ProNeedle - ThermoWorks TimeStick Trio x2 - and a Christopher Kimball timer - NO, I do not work for ThermoWorks...I just like their products.

        Other useful bits...
        KitchenAid 7-qt Pro Line stand mixer
        A Black & Decker food processor that I can't seem to murder
        A couple of immersion blenders, one a "consumer" model & the other a "high end" Italian thing. Yes, the Italian one is a bit better, but only marginally
        Instant Pot Duo Evo Plus 8-qt + accessories like egg-bite & egg holders
        All-Clad pots & pans, along with some cast iron...everything from 7" Skookie pans to 8.5qt Dutch ovens
        Weber GBS griddle, pizza stone, and wok
        Knives range from Mercer to F. Dick to "You spent how much for one knife? One knife?!" LOL

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      Comment


      • Bogy
        Bogy commented
        Editing a comment
        Here's what I think of that last one...
    • pkadare
      Club Member
      • Jun 2019
      • 997
      • Bobcaygeon, Ontario
      • My gear:
        22 Weber Kettle
        Napoleon PRO Charcoal Kettle Grill
        Broil King Keg
        Traeger Pro 34
        Napoleon Prestige Pro 500
        Pit Barrel Cooker
        Blackstone Range Combo Griddle

      Comment

      • ofelles
        Club Member
        • Jun 2018
        • 2650
        • Brentwood CA
        • LSG large insulated cabinet
          Yoder YS640
          David Klose 20x42 Grill Chef Grill
          Weber Jumbo Joe
          FireBoard controller and PitBull fan
          Thermapen Mk4

        for the foot ball fans
        Read only if you have nothing else to do.


        "Football is NOT a contact sport, it is a collision sport.
        Dancing IS a contact sport." -
        Duffy Daugherty / Michigan State

        After USC lost 51-0 to Notre Dame, his post-game message to his team was;
        "All those who need showers, take them."
        - John McKay / USC

        " If lessons are learned in defeat, our team is getting a great education.”
        - Murray Warmath / Minnesota

        "The only qualifications for a lineman are to be big and dumb.
        To be a back, you only have to be dumb."
        - Knute Rockne / Notre Dame

        "We live one day at a time and scratch where it itches."
        - Darrell Royal / Texas

        "We didn't tackle well today, but we made up for it by not blocking."
        - John McKay / USC

        "I've found that prayers work best when you have big players."
        - Knute Rockne / Notre Dame

        Ohio State's Urban Meyer on one of his players:
        "He doesn't know the meaning of the word fear.
        In fact, I just saw his grades and he doesn't know the meaning of a lot of words.”

        Why do Tennessee fans wear orange?
        So they can dress that way for the game on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up trash on Monday.

        What does the average Alabama player get on his SATs?
        Drool

        How many Va Tech freshmen football players does it take to change a light bulb?
        None. That's a sophomore course.

        How did the Auburn football player die from drinking milk?
        The cow fell on him.

        Two Va Tech football players were walking in the woods.
        One of them said, " Look, a dead bird."
        The other looked up in the sky and said, "Where?"

        What do you say to a Florida State University football player dressed in a three-piece suit?
        "Will the defendant please rise."

        How can you tell if a Clemson football player has a girlfriend?
        There's tobacco juice on both sides of the pickup truck.

        What do you get when you put 32 West Virginia cheerleaders in one room?
        A full set of teeth.

        University of Michigan Coach Jim Harbaugh is only going to dress half of his players for the game this week. The other half will have to dress themselves.

        How is the Kansas football team like an opossum?
        They play dead at home and get killed on the road.

        How do you get a former University of Miami football player off your porch?
        Pay him for the pizza.

        Comment

        • ofelles
          Club Member
          • Jun 2018
          • 2650
          • Brentwood CA
          • LSG large insulated cabinet
            Yoder YS640
            David Klose 20x42 Grill Chef Grill
            Weber Jumbo Joe
            FireBoard controller and PitBull fan
            Thermapen Mk4




          Comment

          Announcement

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          2021 Meat-Up In Memphis Canceled - Rescheduled for March 2022

          We've unfortunately had to cancel the 2021 Meat-Up in Memphis. We are rescheduling for March 18-20, 2022. More details and re-booking info coming soon! For now click here for more info.
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          Meat-Up in Memphis