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    I have no idea if these are real, but they are funny.
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    These are actual ads seen in ''The Villages'' Florida newspaper. Who says seniors don’t have a sense of humor

    *FOXY LADY*

    Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty. 80's, slim, 5'4' (used to be 5'6').
    Searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion. Matching white shoes and belt a plus.

    ---------------------------

    *LONG-TERM COMMITMENT*

    Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband. Looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot.
    Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath? Not a problem.

    ---------------------------

    *SERENITY NOW*

    I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga, and meditation. If you are the silent type,
    let's get together, take out our hearing aids and enjoy quiet times.

    ---------------------------

    *WINNING SMILE*

    Active grandmother with original teeth, seeking a dedicated flosser to share rare steaks, corn on the
    cob and caramel candy.

    ---------------------------

    *MEMORIES*

    I can usually remember Monday through Thursday. If you can remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let's put our two heads together.

    --------------------------

    *MINT CONDITION*

    Male, 1932 model, high mileage, good condition, some hair, many new parts including hip, knee, cornea and valves. Isn't in running condition, but walks well.

    --------------------------

    *AND FINALLY*

    A lady in The Villages, in Florida (a senior retirement community), was sitting on a bench, near another bench where a gentleman was sitting.
    She asked him if he was new to the community and he said "no, I have owned a condo here for 20 years".
    She said, "I have been here for 15 years and I have never
    seen you around!"

    He said, "I have been in prison for the last 17 years!"
    She was stunned, and finally asked him what he had done. He said that he had murdered his first wife!

    She was stunned again... and after a long pause she said.. “So, you're SINGLE???”

    ------------------------------

    Don't regret growing old, it is a privilege denied to many
    Last edited by ofelles; January 31, 2021, 12:36 PM.

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    • HawkerXP
      HawkerXP commented
      Editing a comment
      many.

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          Hey Panhead John did you lose something?

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          • Panhead John
            Panhead John commented
            Editing a comment
            I don’t car who ya r....thatn there’s funny as hell! 😂😂😂
            I forgot to add Jak Danyuls to the list.
            Last edited by Panhead John; January 31, 2021, 08:12 PM.

          • SheilaAnn
            SheilaAnn commented
            Editing a comment
            I thought that was Mr. Bones list?

          • JCGrill
            JCGrill commented
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            Forgot bred and cone all.


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            I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

            Experience is something you don't get until after you need it.

            The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

            Money can't buy love, but it CAN rent a very close imitation.

            Two cannibals are eating a circus clown. One says to the other, "Does this taste funny to you?"

            A man woke up in a hospital after suffering a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, Doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "Of course not, I amputated your arms!"

            Comment


            • JCGrill
              JCGrill commented
              Editing a comment
              The problem with the gene pool is that it doesn't have enough chlorine.

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            • Andrrr
              Andrrr commented
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              I threw my back out just looking at the Scotland pic.

            • JCGrill
              JCGrill commented
              Editing a comment
              They also invented golf so you know they aren't right in the head.

            • MBMorgan
              MBMorgan commented
              Editing a comment
              Channeling my Scottish ancestors here: "You're welcome!"

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              • gcdmd
                gcdmd commented
                Editing a comment
                I don't get to Austin very often, but I should put "El Arroyo" on my don't miss list the next time I go.
                Last edited by gcdmd; February 2, 2021, 11:23 AM.

              • Steve R.
                Steve R. commented
                Editing a comment
                It's weird that I keep laughing out loud at that first one, even though I've seen it few times now.

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                Comment


                  One only Panhead John will solve

                  Comment


                  • Panhead John
                    Panhead John commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Took me 7 seconds. I coulda solved that in my sleep, being in the industry.🤓
                    Last edited by Panhead John; February 3, 2021, 07:36 AM.

                  • willxfmr
                    willxfmr commented
                    Editing a comment
                    At first I thought it was dumb. Then all the plates flipped over.....

                  Comment


                  • ofelles
                    ofelles commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Panhead John The reason her legs look strange is because she's holding a bag of popcorn in front of them. Once you see it it's obvious.

                  • Panhead John
                    Panhead John commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Damn! It blends in with ground perfectly. Missed it first time.

                  • Red Man
                    Red Man commented
                    Editing a comment
                    I couldn’t see it at first either...now I can’t not see it! 😂


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