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2021 Meat-Up In Memphis Canceled

We've unfortunately had to cancel the 2021 Meat-Up in Memphis. We are rescheduling for tentatively March 18-21, 2022. Click here for more info: https://pitmaster.amazingribs.com/forum/announcements/misc/1014106-meat-up-in-memphis-2021-canceled
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  • Foehn Watts
    Club Member
    • Apr 2019
    • 309
    • Just about anything with smoke and/or grilled is better.

    Three blondes are walking through the woods. Shortly into their walk, they find tracks on the ground.

    "Look at the size of these rabbit tracks!" Said the first blonde.

    "You moron, those are raccoon tracks." Said the second blonde.

    "You two are so stupid, these are obviously coyote tracks!" Said the third blonde.

    Two minutes later, they were all run over by a train.

    Comment

    • Foehn Watts
      Club Member
      • Apr 2019
      • 309
      • Just about anything with smoke and/or grilled is better.

      I thought of Panhead John when I saw this. . .

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      • ofelles
        ofelles commented
        Editing a comment
        Thank you for that. You just never know what you don't know.

      • HawkerXP
        HawkerXP commented
        Editing a comment
        RL
    • Foehn Watts
      Club Member
      • Apr 2019
      • 309
      • Just about anything with smoke and/or grilled is better.

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      Comment


      • JimLinebarger
        JimLinebarger commented
        Editing a comment
        That one is hanging up next to my monitor.
    • ronbodakid
      Club Member
      • Feb 2016
      • 10
      • Lewis Center Ohio via Southern California

      What has four letters,

      sometimes 9 letters,

      but never has 5 letters.

      Comment


      • HawkerXP
        HawkerXP commented
        Editing a comment
        You, has 3 letters

      • Foehn Watts
        Foehn Watts commented
        Editing a comment
        I like this one!

      • wu7y
        wu7y commented
        Editing a comment
        It took me a bit to get it but I've been busy recovering from a broken neck.
    • wu7y
      Club Member
      • Oct 2017
      • 180
      • Gillette Wyoming

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      For some reason this last one brings @Panhead John's humor to mind:

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      • ofelles
        Club Member
        • Jun 2018
        • 2570
        • Brentwood CA


        Why I Like Retirement!

        Question: How many days in a week?
        Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday

        Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
        Answer: Two hours after falling asleep on the couch.

        Question: How many retirees does it take to change a light bulb?
        Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.

        Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
        Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.

        Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
        Answer: The term comes with a 10% discount.

        Question: Among retirees, what is considered formal attire?
        Answer: Tied shoes.

        Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
        Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.

        Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
        Answer: NUTS!

        Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
        Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.

        Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
        Answer: Normal.

        Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
        Answer: The never-ending Coffee Break.

        Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
        Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.


        Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked,
        'How old was your husband?' '98,' she replied....
        'Two years older than me'.
        'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented.
        She responded, 'Hardly worth going home, is it?
        Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman:
        'And what do you think is the best thing
        about being 104?' the reporter asked...
        She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.'
        The nice thing about being senile is
        you can hide your own Easter eggs
        and have fun finding them.
        I've sure gotten old!
        I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that
        make me dizzy, winded, and subject to
        blackouts. Have bouts with dementia.
        Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends.
        But, thank goodness, I still have my driver's license.
        I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to
        join a fitness club and start exercising.
        I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.
        I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But,
        by the time I got my leotards on,
        the class was over.
        My memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
        Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
        Know how to prevent sagging?
        Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.
        It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker.
        These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, 'For fast relief.'
        THE SENILITY PRAYER:

        Grant me the senility to forget the people
        I never liked anyway, the good fortune

        to run into the ones I do, and the

        eyesight to tell the difference.

        Comment


        • Foehn Watts
          Foehn Watts commented
          Editing a comment
          Bogy - and still " There is not enough time to get everything done."!
          Last edited by Foehn Watts; January 21, 2021, 01:50 PM.

        • Bogy
          Bogy commented
          Editing a comment
          Foehn Watts Ya got that right. Good thing I only work that hour a week, because I've taken my wife to two doctor's appointments this week, and it's eaten into my goofing off time something terrible.

        • Foehn Watts
          Foehn Watts commented
          Editing a comment
          Bogy --Gorsh, I feel your pain--around here we are goofing off, procrastinating, and dinking around constantly. Stuff that needs to get done never gets done because it is at the bottom of the list of napping, zoning in front of the tube, looking up obscure stuff on the net, looking for good jokes . . . We don't even have things like doctor's appoinments. For the last several weeks the only place I have been is the grocery store and my sister's.
      • Panhead John
        Club Member
        • Aug 2020
        • 1163
        • Houston, Texas
        • Weber 22” Master Touch Kettle, added a side shelf
          Weber 14” Smokey Mountain Smoker
          SnS For the Kettle
          Set of Grill Grates
          Thermo Pro Remote Dual Probe Thermometer
          Rotisserie For The Kettle
          J. A. Henckels Knives
          Work Sharp E-5 Electric Knife Sharpener
          Char-Broil Instant Read Meat Thermometer

        More funny signs..
        Attached Files

        Comment


        • Clark
          Clark commented
          Editing a comment
          Panhead John You're on a roll! Keep it up.

        • Mosca
          Mosca commented
          Editing a comment
          LOL, some good ones here!
      • Foehn Watts
        Club Member
        • Apr 2019
        • 309
        • Just about anything with smoke and/or grilled is better.

        I saw this on a t-shirt. Sounds really familiar . . .

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        • Foehn Watts
          Club Member
          • Apr 2019
          • 309
          • Just about anything with smoke and/or grilled is better.

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          Comment


          • Donw
            Donw commented
            Editing a comment
            I’m not sure I have the gumption to even aim to meet those goals. Maybe next year?

          • Foehn Watts
            Foehn Watts commented
            Editing a comment
            Donw - you could always put 'em on a "to-do" list. And lose the list. That's what I do.

          • Bogy
            Bogy commented
            Editing a comment
            I make it a point never to do the first thing on my wife's to-do list for me. If I do one, she adds three more to the bottom.
        • ComfortablyNumb
          Club Member
          • May 2017
          • 3478
          • Northeast Washington
          • KBQ C-60
            PK360
            Thermoworks Smoke
            Thermoworks Thermopop
            Thermoworks Dot

          A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation in Jerusalem . While they were there, the wife passed away . The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her buried here in the Holy Land for $150 or we can have her shipped back home for $5,000 .The husband thought about it and told the undertaker he would have her shipped back home .The undertaker asked him, "why would you spend $5,000 to have her shipped home when you could have a beautiful burial here, and it would only cost $150????"The husband replied, "Long ago, a man died here, was buried here, and three days later, rose from the dead . I just can’t take that chance!"

          Comment


          • Bogy
            Bogy commented
            Editing a comment
            I heard it was his mother in law. Also gets me in less trouble when I tell it that way.

          • Foehn Watts
            Foehn Watts commented
            Editing a comment
            @Bogy-- 'tis better to be safe than sorry!
        • Mosca
          Charter Member
          • Oct 2014
          • 3777
          • PA
          • Large Big Green Egg, Weber Performer Deluxe, Weber Smokey Joe Silver, Maverick 732, DigiQ, and too much other stuff to mention.

          Click image for larger version

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          Comment

          • Panhead John
            Club Member
            • Aug 2020
            • 1163
            • Houston, Texas
            • Weber 22” Master Touch Kettle, added a side shelf
              Weber 14” Smokey Mountain Smoker
              SnS For the Kettle
              Set of Grill Grates
              Thermo Pro Remote Dual Probe Thermometer
              Rotisserie For The Kettle
              J. A. Henckels Knives
              Work Sharp E-5 Electric Knife Sharpener
              Char-Broil Instant Read Meat Thermometer

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            Comment


            • Clark
              Clark commented
              Editing a comment
              Panhead John You sure live in a weird neighborhood!

            • Panhead John
              Panhead John commented
              Editing a comment
              Clark I know! I’m moving away from Cowshit Lane. I hear it’s a lot nicer and fancier living on Snot Road.
              Last edited by Panhead John; January 22, 2021, 08:06 PM.

            • Clark
              Clark commented
              Editing a comment
              Panhead John Slick move on your part. After your move, then you should be closer to your brother......Phlegmhead Joe.
          • ecowper
            Founding Member
            • Jul 2014
            • 3637
            • Maple Valley, WA
            • Grill = Hasty-Bake Gourmet Dual Finish
              Smoke = Weber Smokey Mountain 22.5"

              Thermometer = FireBoard FBX11 with 2 ambient and 6 meat probes
              Thermometer = Maverick ET732
              Thermometer = ThermoWorks Chef Alarm
              Thermapen Mk IV = Light blue
              Thermapen Classic = Grey
              PID Controller = Fireboard Drive + Auber 20 CFM Fan

              Favorite cook = Tri-Tip for the grill, whole packer brisket for the smoker
              Favorite wine = a good Bordeaux with steak, a good Syrah with pork, or a nice bottle of Champagne or California sparkling wine
              Favorite beer = Sam Adams Boston Lager or Shiner Bock
              Favorite whisky = Lagavulin 16 year old single malt

              Best Cookbooks - Meathead's "The Science of Great Barbecue and Grilling", Chris Lilly's "Big Bob Gibson's BBQ Book", Aaron Franklin's "Franklin BBQ"


              Eric Cowperthwaite aka ecowper

            if you've seen the "Bernie sitting" photoshops flying around the internet, this one is pretty funny

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            • Panhead John
              Panhead John commented
              Editing a comment
              Saw the Bernie pics this morning on the news. Good meme!
          • Mosca
            Charter Member
            • Oct 2014
            • 3777
            • PA
            • Large Big Green Egg, Weber Performer Deluxe, Weber Smokey Joe Silver, Maverick 732, DigiQ, and too much other stuff to mention.

            Click image for larger version

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            • Panhead John
              Panhead John commented
              Editing a comment
              😂😂 It took me a minute, but worth it!

            • Clark
              Clark commented
              Editing a comment
              LMAO

            • Foehn Watts
              Foehn Watts commented
              Editing a comment
              Nothin' like a good, um, ah, number 2 joke!
          • ecowper
            Founding Member
            • Jul 2014
            • 3637
            • Maple Valley, WA
            • Grill = Hasty-Bake Gourmet Dual Finish
              Smoke = Weber Smokey Mountain 22.5"

              Thermometer = FireBoard FBX11 with 2 ambient and 6 meat probes
              Thermometer = Maverick ET732
              Thermometer = ThermoWorks Chef Alarm
              Thermapen Mk IV = Light blue
              Thermapen Classic = Grey
              PID Controller = Fireboard Drive + Auber 20 CFM Fan

              Favorite cook = Tri-Tip for the grill, whole packer brisket for the smoker
              Favorite wine = a good Bordeaux with steak, a good Syrah with pork, or a nice bottle of Champagne or California sparkling wine
              Favorite beer = Sam Adams Boston Lager or Shiner Bock
              Favorite whisky = Lagavulin 16 year old single malt

              Best Cookbooks - Meathead's "The Science of Great Barbecue and Grilling", Chris Lilly's "Big Bob Gibson's BBQ Book", Aaron Franklin's "Franklin BBQ"


              Eric Cowperthwaite aka ecowper

            In really sad news today, Jessica Biel announced that she would not be naming her baby Batmo

            Comment


            • Stuey1515
              Stuey1515 commented
              Editing a comment
              That's gold mate, genuine lol from me haha

            • jharner
              jharner commented
              Editing a comment
              Why did batman get into the batmobile and speed to the bat cave ..................He had to go to the batroom

          Announcement

          Collapse

          2021 Meat-Up In Memphis Canceled

          We've unfortunately had to cancel the 2021 Meat-Up in Memphis. We are rescheduling for tentatively March 18-21, 2022. Click here for more info: https://pitmaster.amazingribs.com/forum/announcements/misc/1014106-meat-up-in-memphis-2021-canceled
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          Spotlight

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          These are products we have tested, won our top awards, and are highly recommend. Click here to read how we test, about our medals, and what they mean.

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          If you have a Weber Kettle, you need the Slow 'N' Sear

          slow n sear
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          Click here for our article on this breakthrough tool


          The Good-One Is A Superb Grill And A Superb Smoker All In One

          the good one grill
          The Good-One Open Range is dramatically different from a traditional offset smoker. By placing the heat source behind and under the smokebox instead of off to the side, Open Range produces even temperature from left to right, something almost impossible to achieve with a standard barrel shaped offset.

          Click here to read our complete review


          Griddle And Deep Fryer In One

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          The flat top does the burgers and the fryer does the fries. Use the griddle for bacon, eggs, and home fries. Or pancakes, fajitas, grilled cheese, you name it. Why stink up the house deep frying and spatter all over? Do your fried chicken and calamari outside. Blackstone's Rangetop Combo With Deep Fryer does it all!

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          thermapen
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          Click here to read our comprehensive Platinum Medal review


          Grilla Pellet Smoker proves good things come in small packages

          Grilla pellet smoker
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          Click here for our review on this unique smoker


          Delta by Nuke,
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          Click here to read our complete review


          Genesis II E-335
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          grill grates
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          Click here for more about what makes these grates so special


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          PK 360 grill
          The PK-360, with 360 square inches of cooking space, this rust free, cast aluminum charcoal grill is durable and easy to use. Four-way venting means it's easy to set up for two zone cooking with more control than single vent Kamado grills. It is beautifully designed, completely portable, and much easier to set up for 2-zone cooking than any round kamado.

          Click here to read our detailed review of the PK 360

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          masterbuilt gas smoker
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          Click here to read our detailed review and to order