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    PJ onec told that the third grade was the best three years of his life...

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    • JimLinebarger
      JimLinebarger commented
      Editing a comment
      Are you sure he didn't say "fwee yews"?

    • Panhead John
      Panhead John commented
      Editing a comment
      RonB One thing I learned in the third grade......how to spell correctly. Hint hint. β€œPJ onec told that”. Huh? πŸ˜‰

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    • Mosca
      Mosca commented
      Editing a comment
      The stretch is what makes it good!

    • SheilaAnn
      SheilaAnn commented
      Editing a comment
      πŸ€¦πŸΌβ€β™€οΈ

    • Mosca
      Mosca commented
      Editing a comment
      Sent it to my daughter: "That was very satisfyingly dumb."

      Perfect.

    Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

    Two salmon swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says "Dam!"

    Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron." The other says "Are you sure?" The first says, "Yes, I'm positive."

    What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

    A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says "A beer please, and one for the road."

    A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey, we've got a drink named after you." The grasshopper says "Really? What goes into a Murray?"

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      I've been doing this lately as a method of preserving my sanity (that and visiting this board, thanks everyone!):

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      Thank you to Darrin Bell of Candorville!
      Last edited by Foehn Watts; January 3, 2021, 05:33 PM.

      Comment


      • Donw
        Donw commented
        Editing a comment
        I miss the comics in the newspapers. I know they are buried somewhere deep in the digital, but it is just not the same. It is almost exactly 25 years ago when we lost Calvin and Hobbes, and The Far Side. I enjoy it when we bring some of these here. Helps my sanity too.πŸ™‚
        Last edited by Donw; January 3, 2021, 08:03 PM. Reason: Comics, not cartoons.

      • Panhead John
        Panhead John commented
        Editing a comment
        Do you not have a local newspaper where you live? And I agree about the paper. Got to have one in my hands. Magazines also. I hate reading those online.

      • SheilaAnn
        SheilaAnn commented
        Editing a comment
        Candorville! Been racking my brain trying to remember this strip. Haven’t read comics in a while.....

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        Was gonna add something smart-a$$ her, but I forgot what. . .

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        thank you to Dave Coverly of Speed Bump!

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        • HawkerXP
          HawkerXP commented
          Editing a comment
          I forgot. Is this a RL or cl?

        • Foehn Watts
          Foehn Watts commented
          Editing a comment
          HawkerXP --If'n ya need to ask, it has to be a RL. ;-)

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        Last edited by Panhead John; January 4, 2021, 06:59 PM.

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          • ComfortablyNumb
            ComfortablyNumb commented
            Editing a comment
            I was not aware my mum was named Karen Johnson....

          • Foehn Watts
            Foehn Watts commented
            Editing a comment
            I dint know my *husband* was named Karen Johnson. . .

          ...
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          • Mr. Bones
            Mr. Bones commented
            Editing a comment
            Hail, done known dat since Boot Camp; ol Gunnys, they jus LOVES to go fer quite a stroll, of a mornin!

          • ComfortablyNumb
            ComfortablyNumb commented
            Editing a comment
            Reminds me of a Sinatra quote:

            β€œI feel sorry for people that don't drink, because when they wake up in the morning, that is the best they are going to feel all day-”

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            For you golfers

            * Golf balls are like eggs - they're white, they're sold by the dozen, and a week later you have to buy more.
            * The pro-shop gets its name from the fact that you must have the income of a professional golfer to buy anything in there.
            * It's amazing how a golfer who never helps with house or yard work will replace his divots, repair his ball marks, and rake his sand traps.
            * Did you ever notice that it's a lot easier to get up at 6:00 a.m. to play golf than at 10:00 to mow the yard or go to church?
            * It takes longer to become good at golf than it does brain surgery. On the other hand, you seldom get to ride around in a cart, drink beer and eat hot dogs while performing brain surgery.
            * A good drive on the 18th hole has stopped many a golfer from giving up the game.
            * A good golf partner is one who's slightly worse than you.
            * The rake is always in the other trap .
            * If there's a storm rolling in, you'll be having the game of your life
            * If your opponent has trouble remembering whether he shot a six or a seven, he probably shot an eight.
            * Golf appeals to the child in all of us. This is proven by our frequent inability to count past the number 5.
            * It's easy to keep your ball in the fairway, if you don't care which fairway.
            * If profanity had any influence on the flight of a ball, most everyone would play better.
            * The greatest sound in golf is the, "Whoosh, Whoosh, Whoosh" of your opponent's club as he hurls it across the fairway.
            * A recent survey shows that of all jobs, caddies live the longest. They get plenty of fresh air and exercise, and if there's ever a medical emergency, a doctor is always nearby.
            * The best wood for lowering your score is a pencil.
            * You may need lessons if you had to regrip your ball retriever.
            * It's difficult to decide which is more stressful - hitting 3 off the tee or lining up your 4 th putt.
            * With practice and strength training you can easily get more distance off the shank.
            * The only sure way to get a par is to leave a 4 foot birdie putt 2 inches from the hole.
            * Nothing straightens out a nasty slice like a sharp dogleg to the right.
            * No matter how badly you are playing, it's always possible to get worse.............!

            Comment


            • Bogy
              Bogy commented
              Editing a comment
              I've finally found a potential golf partner, and I'm seriously considering playing golf again after decades, and you offer this to make me firmly commit to never golfing again.

            • Foehn Watts
              Foehn Watts commented
              Editing a comment
              Golfers know that the most bestest morning wood is a driver on the golf course.

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            • Stuey1515
              Stuey1515 commented
              Editing a comment
              That's gold mate, lol!!

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              My pic is sooo ugly that <sigh> I have a little while yet. . .

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                • Panhead John
                  Panhead John commented
                  Editing a comment
                  Don’t forget mature as well!

                • ofelles
                  ofelles commented
                  Editing a comment
                  Sorry, but that did not make the list.

                • HawkerXP
                  HawkerXP commented
                  Editing a comment
                  cl

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