Jokes!

[Clark]

A recent survey asked doctors if it is time to ease the COVID lockdown. HERE ARE THE RESULTS:

Allergists were in favor of scratching it, but Dermatologists advised against any rash moves.

Gastroenterologists had a gut feeling about it, but Neurologists thought the government didn't have the nerve.

Obstetricians felt certain everyone was laboring under a misconception, while Ophthalmologists considered the idea short-sighted.

Many Pathologists yelled "over my dead body!" while Pediatricians said "oh grow up!"

Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while Radiologists could see right through it.

Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing and Pharmacists claimed it would be a bitter pill to swallow.

Plastic Surgeons opined that this proposal would "put a whole new face on the matter."

Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but Urologists were P.O. at the whole idea.

Anesthetists thought the idea was a gas, but Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.

In the end, Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the assholes in politics!!

[RonB]

[Mosca]

[Mosca]

[MTurney]

...

[Mosca]

[fracmeister]

I realize this is only my stepladder. But I love it as if it were my real ladder.

[Panhead John]

[holehogg]

[MBMorgan]

As long as we're on the subject:

[ofelles]

[ofelles]

[fracmeister]

Even though it is only my step ladder I love it as if it were my real ladder

[Panhead John]

[Clark]

A tourist pulled into a motel in a small town and told the desk clerk he would like to look at a room before deciding to stay.
He put a $100 bill on the counter to show that he was serious and he went off looking at several rooms.

The desk clerk grabbed the $100 and ran next door and paid the butcher on his account.
The butcher then paid the farmer that was delivering his meat.
The farmer then ran to the co-op and paid his bill.
The co-op manager then crossed the street and paid his hooker.
The hooker then ran to the motel and paid for her room.

The desk clerk put the $100 back on the counter. The tourist came back into the office, picked up his $100, and said he would stay elsewhere.

No one produced anything.
No one earned anything.

BUT the whole town was then out of debt and looking forward with optimism.

Now THAT is a financial stimulus!!