Welcome!


This is a membership forum. As a guest, you can click around a bit. View 3 pages for free. If you would like to participate, please join.

[ Pitmaster Club Information | Join Now | Login | Contact Us ]

There are 2 page views remaining.

Announcement

Collapse

Meat-Up in Memphis 2021

SOLD OUT! Secure your spot on our waitlist now. First-come, first-served!
Click here for details. (https://amazingribs.com/memphis)
See more
See less

Jokes!

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
  • wu7y
    Club Member
    • Oct 2017
    • 178
    • Gillette Wyoming

    Ok. Let's try this again.

    Click image for larger version

Name:	4ATT00009.jpg
Views:	223
Size:	27.8 KB
ID:	960844

    Click image for larger version

Name:	5ATT00007.jpg
Views:	213
Size:	25.7 KB
ID:	960845Click image for larger version

Name:	8ATT00004.jpg
Views:	222
Size:	29.5 KB
ID:	960846

    Click image for larger version

Name:	image006.jpg
Views:	212
Size:	29.1 KB
ID:	960847

    Click image for larger version

Name:	9image001.png
Views:	230
Size:	194.3 KB
ID:	960848
    Last edited by wu7y; December 22, 2020, 04:44 PM. Reason: Original photos didn't show up. Trying again.

    Comment


    • wu7y
      wu7y commented
      Editing a comment
      I try and sort the ones I get pretty carefully and I'm pretty picky. I really like all of these but "eggs Benedict" is my favorite. My wife's response when she saw it was "Boo Hiss!!" From her that is high praise indeed.

    • JCGrill
      JCGrill commented
      Editing a comment
      I always heard that you need to go to Alaska for eggs Benedict, because there's no place like Nome for the hollandaise.

    • Foehn Watts
      Foehn Watts commented
      Editing a comment
      JCGrill -- hissssssss! :-)
  • Panhead John
    Club Member
    • Aug 2020
    • 953
    • Houston, Texas
    • Weber 22” Master Touch Kettle, added a side shelf
      Weber 14” Smokey Mountain Smoker
      SnS For the Kettle
      Set of Grill Grates
      Thermo Pro Remote Dual Probe Thermometer
      Rotisserie For The Kettle
      J. A. Henckels Knives
      Work Sharp E-5 Electric Knife Sharpener
      Char-Broil Instant Read Meat Thermometer

    Click image for larger version

Name:	B6955E22-E2C4-435E-99A8-FF825E9E0C88.png
Views:	224
Size:	820.4 KB
ID:	960821

    Comment


    • Panhead John
      Panhead John commented
      Editing a comment
      Yes. This joke was only to highlight the grill and the food....in fact...I didn’t even really notice her at first. Did you see how she bunched all the wings up against each other? No heat flow around each piece. How stupid.
      Last edited by Panhead John; December 22, 2020, 08:32 PM.

    • wu7y
      wu7y commented
      Editing a comment
      Wings? I didn't see any wings. Saw some legs and a thigh. Was there a butt in there somewhere? Oh, Yeah there it is. I see it now. Not a pork butt however.

    • Foehn Watts
      Foehn Watts commented
      Editing a comment
      wu7y -- I know you see the chick hindquarters.
  • Panhead John
    Club Member
    • Aug 2020
    • 953
    • Houston, Texas
    • Weber 22” Master Touch Kettle, added a side shelf
      Weber 14” Smokey Mountain Smoker
      SnS For the Kettle
      Set of Grill Grates
      Thermo Pro Remote Dual Probe Thermometer
      Rotisserie For The Kettle
      J. A. Henckels Knives
      Work Sharp E-5 Electric Knife Sharpener
      Char-Broil Instant Read Meat Thermometer

    Click image for larger version

Name:	A096845C-5AFF-4F65-A443-55F3C903ADE0.png
Views:	216
Size:	159.1 KB
ID:	960830

    Comment


    • wu7y
      wu7y commented
      Editing a comment
      What a great camera shot! The look on his and the girlfriend's face: OK. TAKE A LOOK. I DARE YA. I DOUBLE DAM DOG DARE YA!

      A sad but wise man is sitting here. But, then, maybe he's just considering his options.

      I Love it!

    • JCGrill
      JCGrill commented
      Editing a comment
      Worst part is if he looks he probably gets hit from both sides!
  • Panhead John
    Club Member
    • Aug 2020
    • 953
    • Houston, Texas
    • Weber 22” Master Touch Kettle, added a side shelf
      Weber 14” Smokey Mountain Smoker
      SnS For the Kettle
      Set of Grill Grates
      Thermo Pro Remote Dual Probe Thermometer
      Rotisserie For The Kettle
      J. A. Henckels Knives
      Work Sharp E-5 Electric Knife Sharpener
      Char-Broil Instant Read Meat Thermometer

    Click image for larger version

Name:	B327B397-EFA9-41D5-AC9A-E597984404C9.png
Views:	217
Size:	219.4 KB
ID:	960834

    Comment

    • PBCDad
      Club Member
      • Jan 2016
      • 402
      • Seattle area
      • Pit Barrel Cooker - 2015
        22" Kettle + SnS - 2016
        Thermapen - 2016
        Jambo 24x48 offset smoker (Big Tex) - 2017
        Camp Chef Denali griddle - 2018
        Billows and Signals - 2020

      Pulled from Ye Ol' Facebook:

      How to smoke a brisket:
      Step 1- go to butcher and get biggest one they have.
      Step 2- when you get home drop it from an unnecessary height on to the table so it makes a loud bang, scares the shit out of everyone and establishes your dominance as a hunter gatherer.
      Step 3- slap meat further establishing your dominance.
      Step 4- pour drink.
      Step 5- tell wife to come look at your meat. Chuckle at your comic genius.
      Step 6- trim brisket. Pretend you know what you’re doing. Pour another drink.
      Step 7- season brisket with some spicy combination that has salt pepper and garlic slapping meat several times for good measure.
      Step 8- inject it with salted beef broth.
      Step 9- try wrapping with plastic wrap. Fail miserably because plastic wrap is stupid and whoever invented it deserves a slow painful death. Ask wife for help and somehow yet again she coaxes it into doing what she wants.
      Step 10- place in refrigerator for 24 to 48 hours.
      Step 11- fast forward to somewhere between 6:00 and 8:00 in the morning.
      Step 12- remove brisket from refrigerator slap meat one more time for old times sake. Remove plastic wrap and place brisket in smoker at 225°.
      Step 13- crack beer because it would just be irresponsible to start drinking hard liquor before noon.
      Step 14- fall asleep watching TV in recliner.
      Step 15- wake up in a panic! Rush outside and check pellet level in Hopper and temperature of brisket.
      Step 16 - all is well and it's past noon! Pour drink.
      Step 17- when brisket stalls out around 160-165 degrees wrap it in foil or butcher paper. Do not let your wife see you do this or she'll ask you to do something dumb like wrap Christmas presents. Turn smoker up to 275 degrees.
      Step 28 - more drinking! Also since you can't slap the brisket when the wife walks by sneak a good one in on the derriere. This is romantic, she will think it is romantic promise. You are Romeo, god of love and smoker of delicious meats.
      Step 49- time to prep cooler for resting the brisket. Gather up all of your wives very best high quality towels. You know the fancy ones that are for decoration yeah those ones. They hold heat the best. Layer those in the cooler.
      Step 94- when brisket hits 203° in the point end toss it in the cooler and throw more towels on top.
      Step 622-inform everybody that the brisket is done and revel in the looks of disappointment on their faces when you tell them that it has to rest for at least an hour in the cooler and a half an hour on the cutting board. Keep them from starting a mutiny by not just pouring yourself a drink but poor drinks for everyone!
      Step 1,346 - cut and serve brisket. make sure to show everybody how moist It is by squishing it and watching juices run out.
      Step 2,359 - gorge till you put yourself into a meat and alcohol induced coma.
      Step 6,888 - buy the wife new towels. Possibly remodel a bathroom if she wants.
      -
      Courtesy of Paul Vittow / Smoking Meat

      Comment


      • SheilaAnn
        SheilaAnn commented
        Editing a comment
        Step 6,888....... 🤣🤣🤣👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

      • 58limited
        58limited commented
        Editing a comment
        OK, I blatantly stole this to send to a college buddy who texted me wanting to know my method for cooking brisket.
    • Bogy
      Club Member
      • Mar 2016
      • 638
      • North Central Iowa
      • Blaz'n Grill Works Grid Iron
        Weber Genesis E-310
        Original Grilla
        Smokey Joe® Charcoal Grill 14"
        Thermoworks ThermoPop
        Thermoworks Thermapen Mk4
        Thermoworks Smoke Thermometer with gateway
        2 iGrillminis - from before they were Weber.

      They say for Christmas you can meet with up to 8 people without any problems!


      i don't KNOW 8 people without any problems!

      Comment


      • ScottyC13
        ScottyC13 commented
        Editing a comment
        Lol!

      • surfdog
        surfdog commented
        Editing a comment
        True story! ROFL
    • holehogg
      Club Member
      • Nov 2017
      • 2525
      • Port Elizabeth, South Africa

      On a tight budget for Christmas lunch any recipe suggestions for chicken tongue?

      Comment


      • JimLinebarger
        JimLinebarger commented
        Editing a comment
        I find that many people don't like fowl tongue.

      • HawkerXP
        HawkerXP commented
        Editing a comment
        Fancy Chinese hotel had goose (or duck) tongue in the executive lounge every night. Tried it. Once.

      • gcdmd
        gcdmd commented
        Editing a comment
        Panhead John
        You should be ashamed of yourself. LOL
    • ComfortablyNumb
      Club Member
      • May 2017
      • 3453
      • Northeast Washington
      • KBQ C-60
        PK360
        Thermoworks Smoke
        Thermoworks Thermopop
        Thermoworks Dot

      An elderly lady was walking her dog down the street when a car pulls up alongside and a young punk jumps out, grabs her purse, jumps back into the car with the driver speeding away. A witness to the crime runs up to the elderly lady and excitedly asks, "Are you all right? That was terrible!" Calmly the lady replies with a slight smile, "Oh it's not too bad, that was an old purse I carry to put the dog's poop in so I can dispose of it when I get home."

      Comment

      • Foehn Watts
        Club Member
        • Apr 2019
        • 242
        • Just about anything with smoke and/or grilled is better.

        I know someof you out there have tried this--and maybe all of us have:

        Click image for larger version  Name:	speed bump no beer.jpg Views:	0 Size:	214.2 KB ID:	961350

        Thank you Dave Coverly of Speedbump!
        Last edited by Foehn Watts; December 23, 2020, 01:19 PM.

        Comment

        • Mosca
          Charter Member
          • Oct 2014
          • 3708
          • PA
          • Large Big Green Egg, Weber Performer Deluxe, Weber Smokey Joe Silver, Maverick 732, DigiQ, and too much other stuff to mention.

          Click image for larger version

Name:	FB_IMG_1608751475005.jpg
Views:	213
Size:	23.4 KB
ID:	961354

          Comment


          • Panhead John
            Panhead John commented
            Editing a comment
            😂😂😂

          • fracmeister
            fracmeister commented
            Editing a comment
            My son and his wife watch Hallmark movies over the holidays. I say you seen one you seen em all.

          • Mosca
            Mosca commented
            Editing a comment
            Last night we watched what has to be the grandmother of all Hallmark movies, Christmas in Connecticut, with Barbara Stanwyck, Dennis Morgan, Sidney Greenstreet, and Reginald Gardiner. It was nuts.
        • SheilaAnn
          Club Member
          • May 2020
          • 411
          • Long Beach, CA

          RonB as soon as I read your post, I ran to cookbook corner. And I looked for a recipe for fish lips. Quarter shown for scale. Note this book only has 926 pages. 🤣🤣🤣 Click image for larger version

Name:	20EA6F8A-4399-494D-984B-1F9670610EC2.jpeg
Views:	210
Size:	210.0 KB
ID:	961459

          Comment


          • RonB
            RonB commented
            Editing a comment
            Aaaand I guess you have an abundance of fish lips you are trying to use up??

          • RonB
            RonB commented
            Editing a comment
            It's been years since I saw that book, and yours has me thinkin' it may have been 1100 recipes - not pages...
        • jharner
          Club Member
          • Jan 2016
          • 1242
          • Louisiana - North West but a coon ass at heart
          • Cookers

            Camp Chef DLX Pellet Grill
            Weber 22.5 Kettle
            Brickman Box Smoker

            Accessories

            Slow N Sear
            Tube Smoker
            Turkey Cannon
            Rib racks
            Weber chimney starter

            Thermometer's

            Maverick ET 735
            Tru Temp 3619n
            Thermapen mk4
            Thermapop

            Favorite Drink

            Free beer
            Coors Light
            Windsor ( Canadian blended whiskey )

          Guy walks into a bar and orders a shot of 12 year old scotch. Bartender finds a bottle of 8 year old scotch and serves it to him. He spits it out and says this is 8 year old scotch and I ordered 12 year old scotch. Bartender digs deeper and finds a bottle of 10 year old scotch, think this will work. Serves it and the guy spits it out and says this is 10 year old scotch I ordered 12 year old scotch. Bartender goes to the owners privet stock and finds a bottle of 12 year old scotch. Serves it to him, he drinks it and leans back and says just what I needed a shot of good 12 year old scotch. Old wino sitting in the corner watching the whole thing pisses in a shot glass and walks up to the guy. Excuse me sir you seen to be quit a connoisseur of scotch try this. He does and spits it out and say this taste like piss. Wino says it is TELL ME HOW OLD I AM

          Comment

          • SheilaAnn
            Club Member
            • May 2020
            • 411
            • Long Beach, CA

            Not sure if this belongs here or beef....

            “And remember, the juices are myoglobin, not blood. Blood is thick, almost black, just like yours. Everytime you call it blood, a bell rings and somewhere a teenager becomes a vegetarian.”

            Iced tea almost came out my nose! 🤣🤣🤣👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

            Comment


            • surfdog
              surfdog commented
              Editing a comment
              That’s brilliant. LOL

              I had a friend’s daughter so confused about that one time! Doh!
              “Eewww, there’s so much blood!”
              “It’s not blood, it’s myoglobin.” O_o Look of confusion.
              “If it were blood it would also contain fibrinogen.” O_o Same look. “There’d be a giant scab, and there isn’t, nor will there be even if I leave the cutting board out here all night.” LOL

              She still didn’t want any meat but her parents thought it was great that I was trying to give her some science.
          • Foehn Watts
            Club Member
            • Apr 2019
            • 242
            • Just about anything with smoke and/or grilled is better.


            We have this problem around here. . . :

            Click image for larger version  Name:	Pickles christmas present.jpg Views:	0 Size:	146.3 KB ID:	961794

            Thank you Brian Crane of Pickles!
            Last edited by Foehn Watts; December 24, 2020, 12:25 PM.

            Comment


            • wu7y
              wu7y commented
              Editing a comment
              He's gonna get the same reaction from Opal I got from SWMBO when I told her she doesn't need a kitchen timer for Christmas when she already has a smoke alarm.
          • Mosca
            Charter Member
            • Oct 2014
            • 3708
            • PA
            • Large Big Green Egg, Weber Performer Deluxe, Weber Smokey Joe Silver, Maverick 732, DigiQ, and too much other stuff to mention.

            Click image for larger version

Name:	81DEBA8B-8FDB-40A1-98D0-32FF64EFDA25.jpeg
Views:	167
Size:	55.6 KB
ID:	962299

            Comment

            Announcement

            Collapse

            Meat-Up in Memphis 2021

            SOLD OUT! Secure your spot on our waitlist now. First-come, first-served!
            Click here for details. (https://amazingribs.com/memphis)
            See more
            See less
            Working...
            X
            false
            0
            Guest
            500
            ["pitmaster-my-membership","login","join-pitmaster","lostpw","reset-password","special-offers","help","nojs","meat-ups","gifts","authaau-alpha","ebooklogin-start","alpha","start"]
            false
            false
            {"count":0,"link":"/forum/announcements/","debug":""}
            Meat-Up in Memphis

            Spotlight

            These are not ads or paid placements. These Are Some Of Our Favorite Tools And Toys.

            These are products we have tested, won our top awards, and are highly recommend. Click here to read how we test, about our medals, and what they mean.

            Use our links when you buy things

            Many merchants pay us a small referral fee when you click our links and purchase from them. On Amazon it works on everything from grills to diapers, they never tell us what you bought, it has zero impact on the price you pay, but has a major impact on our ability to improve this site! If you like AmazingRibs.com, please save this link and use it every time you go to Amazon

            If you have a Weber Kettle, you need the Slow 'N' Sear

            slow n sear
            The Slow 'N' Sear turns your grill into a first class smoker and also creates an extremely hot sear zone you can use to create steakhouse steaks.

            Click here for our article on this breakthrough tool


            The Good-One Is A Superb Grill And A Superb Smoker All In One

            the good one grill
            The Good-One Open Range is dramatically different from a traditional offset smoker. By placing the heat source behind and under the smokebox instead of off to the side, Open Range produces even temperature from left to right, something almost impossible to achieve with a standard barrel shaped offset.

            Click here to read our complete review


            Griddle And Deep Fryer In One

            Pit Barrel Cooker Smoker
            The flat top does the burgers and the fryer does the fries. Use the griddle for bacon, eggs, and home fries. Or pancakes, fajitas, grilled cheese, you name it. Why stink up the house deep frying and spatter all over? Do your fried chicken and calamari outside. Blackstone's Rangetop Combo With Deep Fryer does it all!

            Click here to read our detailed review and to order


            The Pit Barrel Cooker May Be Too Easy

            Pit Barrel Cooker Smoker
            The PBC has a rabid cult following for good reason. It is absolutely positively without a doubt the best bargain on a smoker in the world. Period. This baby will cook circles around the cheap offset sideways barrel smokers because temperature control is so much easier.

            Click here to read our detailed review and the raves from people who own them


            The Undisputed Champion!

            thermapen
            The Thermoworks Thermapen MK4 is considered by the pros, and our team, to be the single best instant read thermometer. The MK4 includes features that are common on high-end instruments: automatic backlight and rotating display. Don't accept cheap substitutes.

            Click here to read our comprehensive Platinum Medal review


            Grilla Pellet Smoker proves good things come in small packages

            Grilla pellet smoker
            We always liked Grilla. The small 31.5" x 29.5" footprint makes it ideal for use where BBQ space is limited, as on a condo patio.

            Click here for our review on this unique smoker


            Delta by Nuke,
            Stylish and Affordable
            Gaucho Grill

            Weber Genesis Grill
            Delta by Nuke burns wood or charcoal and comes with an adjustable height grill grate. This Argentinian grill will get your flame on!

            Click here to read our complete review


            Genesis II E-335
            A Versatile Gasser That Does It All!

            Weber Genesis Grill
            Webers� Genesis line has long been one of the most popular choices for gas grillers. The new Genesis II E-335 offers solid performance, a sear burner for sizzling heat and an excellent warranty.

            Click here to read our complete review


            GrillGrates Take Gas Grills To The Infrared Zone

            grill grates
            GrillGrates(TM) amplify heat, prevent flareups, make flipping foods easier, kill hotspots, flip over to make a fine griddle, and can be easily rmoved from one grill to another. You can even throw wood chips, pellets, or sawdust between the rails and deliver a quick burst of smoke.

            Click here for more about what makes these grates so special


            Is This Superb Charcoal Grill A Kamado Killer?

            PK 360 grill
            The PK-360, with 360 square inches of cooking space, this rust free, cast aluminum charcoal grill is durable and easy to use. Four-way venting means it's easy to set up for two zone cooking with more control than single vent Kamado grills. It is beautifully designed, completely portable, and much easier to set up for 2-zone cooking than any round kamado.

            Click here to read our detailed review of the PK 360

            Click here to order directly and get an exclusive AmazingRibs.com deal


            Our Favorite Backyard Smoker

            kareubequ bbq smoker

            The amazing Karubecue is the most innovative smoker in the world. The quality of meat from this machine is astonishing. At its crux is a patented firebox that burns logs above the cooking chamber and sucks heat and extremely clean blue smoke into the thermostat controlled oven. It is our favorite smoker, period.

            Click here for our review of this superb smoker


            Masterbuilt MPS 340/G ThermoTemp XL Propane Smoker

            masterbuilt gas smoker
            This is the first propane smoker with a thermostat, making this baby foolproof. Set ThermoTemp's dial from 175? to 350?F and the thermostat inside will adjust the burner just like an indoor kitchen oven. All you need to do is add wood to the tray above the burner to start smokin'.

            Click here to read our detailed review


            Digital Thermometers Are Your Most Valuable Tool And Here's A Great Buy!

            maverick PT55 thermometer
            A good digital thermometer keeps you from serving dry overcooked food or dangerously undercooked food. They are much faster and much more accurate than dial thermometers. YOU NEED ONE!

            Click here to read our complete review


            Track Up To Six Temperatures At Once

            Grilla pellet smoker
            FireBoard Drive 2 is an updated version of a well-received product that sets the standard for performance and functionality in the wireless food thermometer/thermostatic controller class.

            Click here for our review of this unique device


            The Cool Kettle With The Hinged Hood We Always Wanted

            NK-22-Ck Grill
            Napoleon's NK22CK-C Charcoal Kettle Grill puts a few spins on the familiar kettle design. In fact, the hinged lid with a handle on the front, spins in a rotary motion 180 degrees. It's hard to beat a Weber kettle, but Napoleon holds its own and adds some unique features to make the NK22CK-C a viable alternative.

            Click here for more about what makes this grill special


            Finally, A Great Portable Pellet Smoker

            Green Mountain Davey Crockett Grill
            Green Mountain's portable Davy Crockett Pellet Smoker is one mean tailgating and picnic machine. But it's also gaining popularity with people who want to add a small, set it and forget it pellet smoker to their backyard arsenal. And with their WiFi capabilities you can control and monitor Davy Crocket from your smart phone or laptop.

            Click here to read our detailed review and to order