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Jokes!

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    When someone says, "I seen", I always assume that it isn't going to be followed by, "the inside of a book".

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      • fracmeister
        fracmeister commented
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        This is the best.

      • SheilaAnn
        SheilaAnn commented
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        πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ‘πŸΌπŸ‘πŸΌπŸ‘πŸΌ

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      • Clark
        Clark commented
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        Good one!!

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      • willxfmr
        willxfmr commented
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        I've never questioned why the best cars always have blondes in or on them.

      What do you call a Christmas wreath made with $100 bills?



      Aretha Franklins.

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      • Panhead John
        Panhead John commented
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        Groan, laugh, groan, laugh.

      This was so good it needs to go twice

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      • Foehn Watts
        Foehn Watts commented
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        --and I'd take tow of the bacon wrapped one, no problem, very happily.

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      • fracmeister
        fracmeister commented
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        Beauty is skin deep but stupid goes clean to the bone. -Dorothy Parker

      • gcdmd
        gcdmd commented
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        SheilaAnn
        Hilarious. The one about him getting kicked out of a New York bar is also good.

      • SheilaAnn
        SheilaAnn commented
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        gcdmd for sure! β€œI didn’t want to be drunk in public, I wanted to be drunk in a bar!” We had the pleasure of seeing mr. white live at a small theatre here in Long Beach. Fantastic!

      Live shot at the French end of the Chunnel.

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      • gcdmd
        gcdmd commented
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        And here I thought it was Pixar's version of "The Cask of Amontillado."

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        ...
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          Do you know what Ben Franklin called his pee hole?

          Urethra Franklin

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          • Panhead John
            Panhead John commented
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            OMG! I almost fell outta my chair laughing so hard! πŸ˜‚

          Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
          Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
          All the King's horses and all the Kings Men
          Had scrambled eggs for breakfast.

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          • wu7y
            wu7y commented
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            Not exactly a haiku. But it works.

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          • wu7y
            wu7y commented
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            Yep. Been there. Done that.

            Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire" always comes to mind.

          • Oak Smoke
            Oak Smoke commented
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            The old timers used to talk about having to go in the creek to keep from setting the prairie on fire. As I remember it was the same one who used to tell us not to try preparation H. He said he had eaten two tubes of it. For all the good it had done he might as well have shoved it up his---.

          https://www.theonion.com/humane-trap...hey-1845914469

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          • ofelles
            ofelles commented
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            sounds good to me!
            Wait a minute, that statement is from an unknown source not me!
            Last edited by ofelles; December 21, 2020, 04:30 PM.

          • ComfortablyNumb
            ComfortablyNumb commented
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            I'm waiting for the article where landlords have lost their property to foreclosure due to not being able to pay the mortgage because the tenants haven't been paying rent, who have been protected from eviction by government mandates. Then the tenants using a social programme funded through taxes paid by the landlord to qualify for purchasing the property.

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